ADHD or life? - A couples perspective!

Is it ADHD or are we passing ships? - Relationship special!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, it’s a full Relationship Special… and it’s an Adam takeover. Is he prepared? Absolutely not. Is he confident? Of course he is. We’re talking about relationships when it feels like you’re living in two separate timelines - like you’re just passing ships. And before anyone panics: we are absolutely fine. The schedule is the villain. Donna’s got a new job, our routines are shifting again, and it’s got us thinking about how different “normal jobs” and shift patterns are compared to our slightly chaotic self-employed/podcast life. Our only day off together is a Monday… so naturally we started a podcast. We talk about the last time Donna went back to work and Adam had a full breakdown, and how hard that period was on the relationship. We ask the scary question: are we becoming a handover couple? The kind where you only talk routines, chores, and who’s doing what next. We get into the everyday stuff that quietly chips away: - Do adults actually need adult time? - Does Adam unload too much in the 10 minutes they get together at night? - Are we scared of only becoming a “handover” relationship? Then Donna does her quick-fire 5 questions and puts herself on the spot: - What’s going to be difficult? - Does Donna get moany too? - How important is sleep? - What are the early warning signs? - How would Donna like it to be different? We talk about scheduling 10 minutes together (maybe with lists??), then we go deep (leave it). What does Donna actually need from Adam? Has he stopped trying? Adam makes a confession. We talk independence, what needs protecting in the relationship, and how days off can either save you… or turn into admin days with a side of resentment. And then we bring it back to ADHD: - Time blindness and task switching (Work Adam to Family Adam) - Is Donna the sounding board for everything? - Working memory and emotional load - Is self-employment lonely? - RSD with quietness, emotional regulation, and tiredness We also talk strategies Donna loves (Adam… not so much): - A weekly meeting - Micro connection rule (sick) - Parallel play - Is scrolling actually ok? We end by saying we’ve got a great relationship, but it can still be hard - and then Donna makes Adam a little bit sick (you’ll see). Then it’s time for the catchy segment: What Adam’s learned this week about ADHD on Facebook. We recap last week’s lessons, Adam decides he “doesn’t have it” (is he bi-ADHD?), and this week we learn about: - Toothbrushing habits - Sleeping with your feet out 5 minute moans this week: - Adam’s wedding ring (does he need a new one?) - Why Donna doesn’t support Adam when he has business ideas at 2am We finish with your good, bad and uglies and listener feedback — keep them coming. This one’s all about relationships, routines, and trying to stay connected when life is doing the most. Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/-gn3HbwYUro   Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   Follow us:   Instagram: @adhdorlifepod   TikTok: @adhdorlifepod   YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod   #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #CouplesPodcast #Marriage #RelationshipAdvice #TimeBlindness #TaskSwitching #RSD #EmotionalRegulation #WorkingMemory #MentalLoad #ShiftWork #SelfEmployedLife #Connection #ParallelPlay #MicroConnections #Communication #GoodBadUgly #FiveMinuteMoans Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD… or do I just find it hard to relax? - A couple's perspective!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re asking a big one: Is it ADHD… or do I just find it hard to relax? We do a quick catch-up on the last couple of weeks: medication updates, impulse buys, business decisions, and the ongoing question of whether Adam’s office is actually ready. Donna’s also got a new job… and we have to ask the obvious: is Adam jealous? Then we get into the main topic: relaxing (or the complete inability to do it). We talk about how neurodivergent people can feel restless, guilty, mentally noisy, and unable to switch off, while the neurotypical partner can end up feeling disconnected, rejected, and like calm is basically impossible in the relationship.  Is Adam dopamine hunting? Is Donna an enabler? What does relaxing even look like for Adam? What’s the difference between relaxing and escaping? We get into: - TV time at night: rest or just collapse? - Scrolling: relaxing or escaping? - Sitting down but still feeling internally stressed - Turning hobbies into productivity (because of course) - Is darts relaxing? - Is everyone’s idea of relaxing totally different? - Guilt spirals and whether there’s such a thing as a real day off - Holidays: relaxing or just stressful in a different location? - Can you relax as a business owner, or does it feel like you’re letting people down? - Is it ADHD, anxiety, modern life… or all three? We also talk technology, the constant running mind, awkward silences. Can you sleep in silence? Can you sit in silence as a couple without it feeling weird? Then we hit a hilarious (and genuinely embarrassing) discovery: Adam’s new habit. Has he been doing it all along? Cue blushing and stimming chat. We also talk replaying conversations (like, primary school level replays), including Adam replaying things from Donna’s past that he wasn’t even there for. Donna shares her side too: emotional disconnection, feeling cut off, getting dragged into chaos cycles, never having a truly relaxing weekend, constant phone use, and the dreaded “are you bored with me?” moment. Adam feels sorry for Donna… and honestly, fair. We finish with some strategies: planned downtime, working on guilt, accepting that scrolling can genuinely be relaxing, whether walks will help, and whether Adam needs a fidget toy. 5 minute moans this week: - Adam’s phone etiquette (who even uses the phone for actual calls?) - Adam turns it around on Donna (as always) And we end with your good, bad and uglies — listener stories about relaxing (or absolutely failing to). Keep them coming. Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/DFt0QswDXjE   Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #Anxiety #Rest #Relaxing #Burnout #Masking #Overthinking #RacingThoughts #Dopamine #ExecutiveDysfunction #EmotionalRegulation #TimeOff #SelfEmployedLife #BusinessOwner #GuiltSpiral #PhoneAddi Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or Life? - Medication Titration Part 2 (4 weeks of ADHD meds)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re back with Medication Titration Part 2 — four weeks into ADHD meds, and it’s safe to say it’s been… a lot. Big note (and we mean it): this episode is based on personal experience only, with no medical knowledge whatsoever. Adam takes over this week (because apparently he’s a natural) and we catch up on what the last couple of weeks have actually been like on medication — not just for him, but for Donna and the whole family. We get into the titration process through NHS Right to Choose, the waiting, the limbo, the lack of contact, and that moment you realise you’re going to have to chase it yourself. Adam talks through what 50mg of Elvanse felt like, what happened when tablets ran low, and how differently we both experienced the same situation. We talk crashing, mood swings, irritability, and what Adam’s learned so far. We also chat about family life changes, being more present, and whether Adam’s lost that sense of urgency. Donna drops a truthbomb and Donna admits she prefers “new Adam” - but we’re also making plans so the same mess doesn’t happen again. Then we get onto the brand new “something something”: a top-up of 5mg Amfexa. The changes were great… but sleep took an absolute battering. Donna answers 5 quick-fire questions, we get into emotions, whether she hated old Adam (which definitely leads to in-car arguments), and Adam’s latest hyperfocus: David Ramsay, plus fully fan-boying Darren Connell. We also introduce a new segment with the very catchy title: “what Adam has learned this week about ADHD on Facebook”. Expect showers, handwriting, and the important question of the week: What way do you face in the shower? Let us know in the comments. This week we cover: * NHS Right to Choose: delays, limbo, and chasing your own care * Elvanse at 50mg: effects, distractions, and the crash * Running low on meds and how that impacts mood and family life * Mood swings, irritability, and being more present at home * Amfexa 5mg top-up: benefits vs sleep chaos * Donna’s quick-fire Qs (and the relationship truth bombs) * Hyperfocus obsessions, Facebook ADHD advice, and shower debates * A surprise Good, Bad & Ugly from Adam (on the spot and real) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oHzNI9yl9nU [https://youtu.be/oHzNI9yl9nU] Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS [https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS] More on our website: https://www.adhdorlife.com [https://www.adhdorlife.com/] Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered [https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered] Follow us: Instagram: @adhdorlifepod TikTok: @adhdorlifepod Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] #ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDMedication #Titration #Elvanse #Amfexa #RightToChoose #NHS #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDPodcast #ADHDRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #ExecutiveDysfu Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or Life? – Special Guest Paul Nightingale | All Things AuDHD (ADHD + Autism), Masking, Burnout & Diagnosis

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] This week on Is it ADHD or Life? – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re joined by special guest Paul Nightingale — an AuDHD content creator and events host who (in his own words) is completely “riddled”. Expect a funny, honest, and properly relatable chat about ADHD, autism, and real neurodivergent life. If you’ve ever felt like you’re smashing it on the outside but burnt out on the inside, this one’s for you. In this episode, we talk about: * Paul’s life before diagnosis: comedy, events, being “on”, and the hidden burnout * Depression vs ADHD (and how hard it can be to separate the two) * “ADHD wasn’t a thing back then” and what we used to think ADHD actually was * Why diagnosis can make your whole life suddenly make sense * Being hyperactive in your brain even when you look calm on the outside * Does ADHD get worse with age, or do you just have more to juggle? * Family, childhood symptoms, and getting into trouble for asking “why?” * The contradictions of ADHD and autism traits (and why it can feel confusing) * Taking what you’ve learned into the workplace * Masking, feeling like you’re “crazy”, and the emotional impact of not knowing * Diagnosis feelings: relief, sadness, grief, anger, guilt, and imposter syndrome * Relationships, emotions, learning curves, patience, and changing the narrative * Mental health medication, OCD, psychology, and breaking stereotypes (no, not everyone likes trains) * Online pressure to be “officially diagnosed” and why it matters to people * Right to Choose, aftercare, lack of support, and broken systems * Shared care agreements and supporting injustice (Paul’s sense of justice is next level) At one point Adam and Paul both get distracted at the same time, and Donna has to keep the whole thing on track like a neurotypical air traffic controller. We finish with Paul’s Good, Bad & Ugly — and it’s a belter. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/KvzSy3oPBDc [https://youtu.be/KvzSy3oPBDc] Find Paul online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paulhosts/ [https://www.instagram.com/paulhosts/] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paulnightingadhd [https://www.tiktok.com/@paulnightingadhd] Join the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered [https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered] Follow us: Instagram: @adhdorlifepod TikTok: @adhdorlifepod Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] #ADHD #AuDHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #LateDiagnosis #ADHDPodcast #NeurodivergentPodcast #ADHDAndAutism #Masking #Burnout #ImposterSyndrome #Depression #MentalHealth #RightToChoose #DiagnosisJourney #PostDiagnosis #ADHDRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDCommunity #AutisticAdults #AudhdLife #CouplesPodcast #FunnyAndHonest #GoodBadUgly Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]

Is it ADHD or Do I just need a deadline? - ADHD or Life? A couple`s perspective.

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2412869/fan_mail/new] Is it ADHD or Do I just need a deadline? New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re getting straight into it… deadlines. The kind that magically turn you into a productive genius at the very last second, but also shave years off your life. Is it procrastination, poor planning, laziness… or the ADHD brain doing what it does best? This week Adam shares his personal deadline chaos from the last two weeks (including learning magic tricks in the van and learning new balloon models in a toilet, which feels like the most ADHD sentence ever). We talk about why this happens, the adrenaline/dopamine connection, and whether you always “get away with it”… or whether it just looks like you do from the outside. We get into ADHD motivators, importance vs stimulation, and whether challenge is genuinely motivating or just the only thing that makes your brain switch on. Because it’s not like you’re ignoring the problem… you’re thinking about it constantly. Donna also rage baits the ADHD community (you’re welcome), and we talk pressure, finances, and the chaos of being a poor financial planner. We also look at Donna’s “neuro-normal” brain leaving things till the last minute too — is that laziness, or has she caught ADHD? We talk different levels, Adam being a hypocrite, and whether this argument could lead to divorce (joking… kind of). We need your help settling an argument in this episode, so please comment what you think. Is communication key? Is it just the rush? And what does it do to relationships, the whole family, and even the podcast when planning only happens when the clock is screaming? We talk guilt spirals, irresponsibility vs paralysis, when it’s most likely ADHD, and we share some strategies including made-up deadlines, accountability, body doubling (including an embarrassing body doubling story), and yes… gamification (ick). We also cover Adam’s deadline that nearly ended in a house fire, getting lucky with deadlines, and what happens when deadlines go properly wrong. Five minute moans: - Adam leaving stuff about - Donna opening letters We finish with your good, bad and ugly stories (email more to adhdorlife@gmail.com) and we talk about the serious side of living life permanently one deadline away from disaster. Watch on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/NxmaWdr3D4o   Listen on Spotify:   https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS   More on our website:   https://www.adhdorlife.com   Join the Facebook group:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered   Follow us:   Instagram: @adhdorlifepod   TikTok: @adhdorlifepod   Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod   YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod   ADHD #Deadlines #Procrastination #ADHDProcrastination #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDPodcast #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDMotivation #Dopamine #Adrenaline #TaskInitiation #TimeBlindness #ADHDAndAnxiety #GuiltSpiral #Paralysis #BodyDoubling #Accountability #Gamification #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #CouplesPodcast #RealLifeADHD #MentalLoad #FamilyLife #ADHDCopingStrategies #ADHDCommunity Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com. Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod [http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod] Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod [https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod] Follow us on Instagram for up to date info: https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/adhdorlifepod/]