Stop Trying to Be More Disciplined—This Is the Real Block

Stop Trying to Be More Disciplined—This Is the Real Block

If you keep asking yourself how to be more disciplined—and you're exhausted from starting over again and again—this episode is going to challenge everything you thought the answer was. Because discipline, the way most of us use it, isn't the answer. In this solo episode, I'm talking about why forcing yourself to do the thing you dread never sticks, and why relying on willpower is the reason you can't stay consistent. It's not that you need to try harder. Trying harder is the wrong approach—and when forcing it stops working, we make it mean something about ourselves and start the whole cycle over again. Tune in to find out what's really going on. Key Takeaways 1. Discipline Isn't the Answer—and That's Why You Keep Starting Over Forcing yourself through on willpower feels productive at first, but it's the very reason consistency falls apart and you land right back at square one. Trying harder isn't the fix. 2. If You Dread It and Have to Force It, Something Else Is Going On When you're forcing a goal you dread, that resistance is information—not a sign you need more grit. There's usually a belief underneath that hasn't been addressed. 3. Your Beliefs Become Instructions for Your Results A belief is just an old thought you've repeated until it starts to feel true—and from that belief, you make decisions that act like instructions to the world around you. AM walks you through how to name the self-limiting belief that's blocking you, and a journal prompt to question whether it's even real—so you can stop forcing and start moving forward. 📚 Free Workshop Sign up for AM's FREE monthly workshop, Working on Becoming—Live on Substack the first Tuesday of every month. During the session you set a goal and receive accountability from AM all month long: https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] 🔗 Connect With AM Instagram: am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/am_costanzo/] Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com [http://amcostanzo.substack.com] Facebook: amcostanzowellness [https://www.facebook.com/amcostanzowellness] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] Subscribe to the Aging Fiercely Podcast. New episodes each week for women over 40 who want to live healthier and more active lives! 💬 Let's Continue the Conversation What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show, and it only takes 30 seconds!! ♥️

Open Yourself Up to the World of Music: It's Never Too Late to Learn an Instrument—Caroline McCaskey

It's never too late to learn the violin—and in this episode I talk with someone who has built her entire career around proving exactly that. Caroline McCaskey is the founder of AltStrings Academy, an online learning community made specifically for adult string players. If you've ever looked at a community board full of "music lessons for kids" and felt like you'd missed your window, this conversation is for you. Caroline and I dig into why adults are too often overlooked by string teachers, how she designed a flexible, gym-style learning model that actually fits a busy life, and why progress in music—like progress in life—is never linear. Whether you want to play violin, fiddle, viola, or cello, Caroline's message is simple: you don't need permission to be a musician—you just need to open the door. Key Takeaways 1. Music can open up your whole world, and it's never too late to start. Caroline makes a powerful case that anyone who wants to play music can, regardless of age or background. So much excellent string instruction is aimed only at children, but adult beginners deserve great teaching too—and if you're playing or singing, you're already a musician. 2. The right learning model makes music fit your real life. Instead of the rigid weekly-lesson apprenticeship model, Caroline built AltStrings Academy around a flexible, gym-membership-style approach: short five-minute practice videos, drop-in office hours, and small online group classes you join when your schedule allows—perfect for working adults, caregivers, and retirees alike. 3. Adults learn differently than kids, and that's a strength. It may take an adult more repetitions than a child to master a skill, and that's completely normal. Caroline coaches her students past comparison and self-doubt, adapts classical technique to bodies that have lived full lives, and brings in a body-mapping ergonomics specialist so that playing always feels good. Connect with Caroline McCaskey  Website: https://altstringsacademy.comaltstringsacademy.com [http://altstringsacademy.com]  Instagram: @altstrings [https://www.instagram.com/altstrings/]  Facebook: @altstrings [https://www.facebook.com/altstrings/]  YouTube: @altstrings [https://www.youtube.com/@altstrings] Free Workshop Sign up for AM's FREE monthly workshop, Working on Becoming—Live on Substack the first Tuesday of every month: https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] Connect With AM  Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com [http://amcostanzo.substack.com]  Facebook: amcostanzowellness [https://www.facebook.com/amcostanzowellness]  YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness]  Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show, and it only takes 30 seconds!! ♥️

A 4-Step Thought Process That Upgrades Your Leadership Skills Instantly with Lauren Most

What happens when you climb every rung of the corporate ladder, land your dream job at 33, plan the perfect life—and the whole thing falls apart anyway? Lauren Most spent 15+ years in senior leadership, including a stint as Chief People Officer and a Fortune 10 executive. She did everything "right." Then her dream job didn't feel like the dream, she took a 40% pay cut hoping that would fix it, and a month and a half later her engagement broke off. The perfect plan, executed perfectly, collapsed. In this conversation, Lauren walks us through the post-mortem she ran on herself, the belief that was quietly driving everything (proving her worth), and the four-step tool she now uses with senior leaders—and with herself—to stop reacting on autopilot. It's called the MOST Method, and it works just as well when navigating a high-stakes meeting that just went sideways as it does dealing with a surly teenager who pushes your buttons. If you've ever thought, "I did everything I was supposed to do—why does it not feel the way I thought it would?", this one’s for you. ABOUT LAUREN Lauren Most is a former Chief People Officer and Fortune 10 executive with 15+ years in senior leadership. She now works privately with senior leaders, helping them shift from fear-based, command-and-control leadership into something more creative, intentional, and human. She's the creator of the MOST Method and is writing a book called From Least to Most. WHAT WE GET INTO * (02:30) Hitting her dream job at 33 — and being unhappy * (03:24) The 40% pay cut, the broken engagement, and the moment the perfect plan crumbled * (04:30) Running a post-mortem on herself and finding the common denominator * (06:31) The belief underneath it all: needing to prove her worth * (09:30) The modalities that moved the needle (journaling, somatic work, therapy, mindset) * (12:08) Why integration is the step most of us skip * (15:05) Working with high-stress executives — and the burnout numbers nobody talks about * (17:00) Why command-and-control leadership stopped working * (20:11) What you can still change when you can't change the system * (21:27) Somatic work, storytelling, and metabolizing stress differently * (26:42) Black and white vs. the 64-pack of Crayolas * (27:18) Why effort doesn't scale * (30:48) The 200-tabs-open analogy * (32:18) Driving the business vs. creating busyness * (33:00) Introducing the MOST Method * (38:54) Real-life example: an airline meltdown that didn't become a meltdown * (45:30) Where to find Lauren CONNECT WITH LAUREN * Substack: The Refocus Room [https://mirrormirroradvisory.substack.com/] * LinkedIn: Lauren Most [https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenmost/] * Website: mirrormirrorpower.com [http://mirrormirrorpower.com] * Book (coming): From Least to Most Join My Free Workshop Every month I host a free live workshop called Working on Becoming: it’s part workshop / part goal-setting for the month ahead. Held every first Tueday of the month on Sunstack. Sign up here to join: amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [http://amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] And if this episode made you think of a friend who's been forcing her way through her own version of "the perfect plan"—send it her way. She’ll thank you! ❤️

Your Body Can Heal: Gut Health, Hormones, and the Path to Pain-Free with Stacey Roberts

Stacey Roberts has spent over 30 years looking at the body as a whole — and in this conversation, she breaks down why chronic pain is so much more than a physical problem. Stacey walks us through the connection between gut health and joint pain, why food sensitivities can show up as pain, skin issues, and fatigue, and how declining hormones during perimenopause and menopause remove the body's natural anti-inflammatory protection. She also gets into why conventional medicine tends to compartmentalize the body rather than connect the dots, why movement is still medicine even when you're in pain, and why "it's just your age" is simply not an acceptable answer. If you have been living with pain that won't go away and you're not sure where to start, this episode is for you. KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. Declining hormones remove your body's natural inflammatory protection. Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are anti-inflammatory. When they decline during perimenopause and menopause, that protection decreases, and adding alcohol and ultra-processed foods on top of that creates what Stacey calls a "perfect storm" for pain. 2. Food sensitivities can be a direct cause of chronic pain. If pain persists long after the original trigger is gone, food sensitivities may be contributing. Stacey recommends the ALCAT or MRT tests for accurate results. 3. Movement helps with pain, even when it is the last thing you want to do. Studies consistently show that movement significantly reduces pain. The key is finding a range of motion that is not painful and working from there. Connect with Stacey Roberts newyouhealthandwellness.com [http://newyouhealthandwellness.com] 🎙️ The Pain-Free Formula Podcast 📖 The Pain-Free Formula (available on Amazon) Free Resource Join my free Monthly Becoming Workshop, it's a live goal-setting session held the first week of every month. 👉 amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [http://amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] Connect with AM Instagram: am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/am_costanzo/] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Facebook: amcostanzowellness [https://www.facebook.com/amcostanzowellness]

Micro-Adventures, Decluttering, and Why Your Brain Thrives on Change

When you feel stuck, uninspired, lackluster, or like you've lost your sparkle, sometimes the smallest change in your environment can shift your entire mood. Seriously. Taking a different route to work. Moving a chair into a different room. Lighting a candle you forgot you had. It sounds almost too simple, right? But don't underestimate it. In this episode, I'm inviting you to take a mini-adventure. This morning I took a different route when dropping my kids to school school, came home, and recorded this podcast from my kitchen table in one of my new cozy chairs with my candle going. And something shifted. My brain noticed the new scenery and felt good to not be tied to my desk. My body relaxed and the words flowed! Today I'm talking about why your brain sometimes works better when there's a shift in your environment or routine. I also get into the shift that can occur when you let go of unneccesary clutter that may be affecting your nervous system without you realzing. Key Takeaways * The American Psychological Association has found that your physical environment directly affects how creatively and expansively you think. New spaces open your mind, cluttered familiar ones close it down * My nervous system, and yours, is constantly scanning the environment for safety cues. Clutter, noise, and overly familiar spaces can keep you in low-level stress mode without you even realizing it * Small bursts of novelty, like a different route, a new café, a change in scenery, are what your brain is craving, and research shows subtle shifts are better for long-term happiness than saving it all for one big vacation * Open your closet and you'll see how you see yourself. Your environment is a mirror, and clearing it creates a release that goes way beyond the physical * Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way and the weekly artist date—taking yourself somewhere new, alone, with no agenda—can be used as a practice for sparking creativity and self-connection Free Resource Join me live for the Monthly Becoming Her Workshop. It's my free Substack goal-setting session to help you get out of your head and into the life you're building. Click here to join 👉 https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] Book Your Breakthrough Session With Me You know something is off but can't quite name it yet. You wants to feel better—more fulfilled, more satisfied—but you're not sure where to start. A Breakthrough Session is the perfect entry point. One hour to gain clarity, find direction, and begin to see where more alignment is possible in your life. No big leap required. Just a first step. Click here and say yes! 👉 amcostanzo.com/breakthroughsessions [http://amcostanzo.com/breakthroughsessions] Connect with Me * Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] * Instagram: @am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/am_costanzo/] * Substack: Aging Fiercely [https://amcostanzo.substack.com/] * YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] What's your mini-adventure going to be this week? Drop it in the comments! And if this episode resonated with you, please share it with your bestie or leave a five-star rating or a review. ❤️