Why Losing the Weight Doesn't Fix How You See Yourself

Why Losing the Weight Doesn't Fix How You See Yourself

What happens when you hit every fitness goal and still don't believe the life you're building for yourself is possible? In this episode, I'm the guest on Still in Progress with host Brittany Cates, talking about the pattern I kept seeing after 15 years as a personal trainer: women would lose the weight, do all the workouts, and still feel disconnected from who they were becoming. We get into why intuition and fear can feel like the same sensation in the body, why journaling and stillness practices build self-trust faster than willpower does, and what it actually took for me to walk away from a corporate accounting career in my mid-20s with nothing lined up. This conversation is proof that the real work of reinvention isn't the external stuff, it's learning to trust yourself before you have any evidence it'll work out. THREE KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. Weight loss and identity change are two separate projects. I've watched clients lose the ten pounds and still not believe their future vision for themselves is possible. That gap, between what you've achieved and what you actually believe about yourself, is where self-sabotage takes root. 2. Intuition and fear can feel identical, so slow down before you react. The question I ask myself and my clients: am I pulling back because I'm afraid of what someone will think of me, or because something is genuinely misaligned? One is fear you can dismantle. The other is worth listening to. 3. Trust is built in tiny, provable increments, not big consistent streaks. Showing up for five seconds and doing it again tomorrow builds more self-trust than one perfect ten-minute meditation you can't sustain. It's not about the amount of time, it's about proving to yourself that you show up. IN THIS CONVERSATION * Why you can't wait until you're certain, you have to become certain that it's okay to be uncertain * The hard question I ask myself before a big decision: can I embrace the suck? * How to tell intuition apart from fear when they feel like the same gut sensation * Why journaling, specifically Julia Cameron's morning pages, became the most profound tool I've used to get my thoughts onto the page * The moment I realized my personal training clients needed something deeper than workouts: a client who couldn't believe her own future vision was possible * Why I stopped doing hands-on training sessions myself, clients now do their workouts independently while our calls focus on identity and accountability work * The onboarding question that catches clients off guard: do you think you're worthy of feeling good in your body? * What an "artist date" is, and why buying yourself a five-dollar sparkly pen matters more than it sounds like it should * Why normalizing discomfort is the best strategy for lasting change TRY IT YOURSELF Ask yourself the question that keeps coming up in my own life: where do I fit in my life? Not your workout, not your to-do list, just you. CONNECT WITH AM Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] Instagram: @aging.fiercely [https://www.instagram.com/aging.fiercely/] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Substack: Aging Fiercely [https://amcostanzo.substack.com/]

I Didn't Plan to Start a Business at 58, I Just Said Yes to a Hike | Libby Harrington

What does it take to build a whole new chapter in midlife? In this episode, I sit down with Elizabeth Harrington, who said yes to a 48-mile rim-to-rim-to-rim hike across the Grand Canyon before she even fully understood what she was agreeing to. That hike became the origin story of everything that came next. Libby walks me through how training for an endurance event she'd never attempted taught her that strength training, not just cardio, helped her cross the finish lines, and it proved to her that she can do the hard things! After finishing the Grand Canyon, she ran her first marathon, and has run six since then! And at 58, she launched Vital Ventures, a fitness adventure company that trains small groups of midlife men and women for guided trips to places like the Grand Canyon, Alaska, and the Dolomites. (And more locations to come!) This conversation is proof that audacious growth doesn't require a five-year plan. Sometimes it just requires saying yes before you know exactly what you're saying yes to. I loved this conversation as it underscores exactly what Aging Fiercely means! KEY TAKEAWAYS 1. Strength training is the engine, not the extra. Libby spent decades believing she "wasn't a runner" because her knees hurt past three miles. It wasn't until she added strength and conditioning to prepare for the Grand Canyon that her body could finally handle distance—cardio alone had never been enough. 1. Small, consistent action beats big, occasional effort. Through Vital Ventures' Vital 100 and Vital 90 challenges, Libby has watched people discover the compounding power of showing up daily, in their fitness and in their belief in themselves. IN THIS CONVERSATION * The invitation that started it all: her sister's 60th birthday hike across the Grand Canyon, rim to rim to rim * How she trained for it: researching, interviewing experts who'd done it before, and building a three-month plan for a family ranging from age 20 to 65 * Why that hike gave her the confidence to sign up for her first marathon at 55, having never run a half marathon * How a recurring question from other people, "how did you do that at your age?", became the spark for a business * What a Vital Ventures adventure actually looks like: three months of training, expert-led nutrition and trail prep, and intimate teams of 8 to 12 * Why she calls the day-to-day training journey, not the summit or the finish line, where the real growth happens TRY IT YOURSELF Curious what living "Vital" could look like for you? Libby offers a free 15-minute conversation, no strings attached, to talk through what an adventure or training program might look like for your life. Details are on her website below. CONNECT WITH LIBBY Website: VitalVentures.live [http://VitalVentures.live] Instagram: @live_vital_ [https://www.instagram.com/live_vital_/] Facebook: Vital Ventures [https://www.facebook.com/people/Vital-Ventures/61557967882162/?mibextid=LQQJ4d] CONNECT WITH AM Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com [https://amcostanzo.substack.com/] Instagram: am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/aging.fiercely/]

OWN Your Life: Why Smart Midlife Women Can't Break the Reaction Pattern

What do you do when your life looks good on paper but you still feel anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected from yourself? In this episode, I sit down with therapist Jodi Baretz to talk about why so many women in midlife are carrying that exact question: why doesn't this feel better? Jodi's answer is that most suffering isn't a life problem; it's an interpretation and reaction problem. We're smart, capable women who have read the books and seen all the Instagrams, but we get stuck reacting on autopilot to a thought, a tone, a text, or silence. Jodi shares her OWN framework as a simple, repeatable way out: Observe your patterns without judgment, Wonder what else might be true, and Navigate one small shift before you react. We get honest about what sits underneath it: the sandwich generation squeeze of kids becoming more independent and parents aging, the way we personalize behavior that is really about someone else's capacity and nervous system, and the expectations we never told anyone we had. Plus the question that reframes almost every conflict: do you want to be right, or do you want the relationship? In this conversation: - Why high functioning women still feel empty and exhausted - The OWN framework: Observe, Wonder, Navigate - Why behavior doesn't equal intent or character - The MOP, a mindful opportunity to practice - Why small experiments beat big overwhelming changes - Why discomfort is a sign it's working - A morning practice for setting an intention before you grab your phone - How ketamine assisted therapy helps people who feel truly stuck Connect with Jodi Baretz, LCSW: Website: JodiBaretz.com [https://jodibaretz.com/] Instagram: Therapy with Jodi [https://www.instagram.com/therapywithjodi/] OWN Your Next Chapter: Virtual, last Tuesday of the month on Zoom, first one free. Details on her website. Connect with AM: Website: amcostanzo.com [https://www.amcostanzo.com/] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Substack: Aging Fiercely [https://amcostanzo.substack.com/] Instagram: am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/am_costanzo/]

The 4 Pillars Every Woman Over 40 Needs: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset & Meaning

Midlife transformation is about coming home to who you were always meant to be. In this episode of the Aging Fiercely Podcast, I welcome back 15-time Ironman triathlete and coach Jen Rulon, who packed her bags at 50, built a container home on a hill in Costa Rica after her divorce, and rebuilt her life around four pillars: movement, metabolism, mindset, and meaning. In this conversation we talk about the blocks that keep women over 40 stuck—starting with self-worth and the negative self-talk so many of us run on autopilot. Jen shares a mirror practice that helped her look at herself again after her divorce, why the scale is the last thing you should measure, and how to dig past "I want to lose weight" to the why that keeps you going well past your 40s. If you've ever felt like you don't deserve the life you want, we're here to tell you a new story! Key Takeaways 1. The four pillars that keep her grounded. Movement, metabolism, mindset, and meaning. Movement is the anchor, metabolism the fire, mindset the compass, and meaning the North Star. It's the framework that carried Jen through her divorce and menopause, and it's what she teaches. 2. Self-worth is where it starts. A lot of women don't feel they deserve the good that's coming, the weight loss, the compliment, the next chapter to follow their hearts regardless of other's opinions, so they quietly hold themselves back. You're worth it! 3. Build the body, rebuild the confidence. Jen watched a client get consistent in the gym and it slowly allowed her to build strength in other areas of her life as well. Strength has a way of spilling over. 4. Twenty minutes still counts. So many of us are all-or-nothing. If we can't do the full 45, we do nothing. Jen's says to forget what you don't have, and focus on what do you have? A 10 minute workout can change your whole day! 5. End the night with three thank-yous. Jen's one piece of advice for aging fiercely: before bed, give thanks for your past, your now, and your future. When you do. your perspective shifts. (And perspective is EVERYTHING!) Connect with Jen Website: https://jenrulon.com [https://jenrulon.com] Instagram: @coachjenrulon [https://www.instagram.com/coachjenrulon/] Facebook: Coach Jen Rulon [https://www.facebook.com/CoachJenRulonMS] TikTok: @coachjenrulon YouTube: Coach Jen Rulon [https://www.youtube.com/@CoachJenRulon] Free Workshop Sign up for AM's FREE monthly workshop, Working on Becoming—Live on Substack the first Tuesday of every month: https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] 🔗Connect With AM Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com [http://amcostanzo.substack.com] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com]

Stop Trying to Be More Disciplined—This Is the Real Block

If you keep asking yourself how to be more disciplined—and you're exhausted from starting over again and again—this episode is going to challenge everything you thought the answer was. Because discipline, the way most of us use it, isn't the answer. In this solo episode, I'm talking about why forcing yourself to do the thing you dread never sticks, and why relying on willpower is the reason you can't stay consistent. It's not that you need to try harder. Trying harder is the wrong approach—and when forcing it stops working, we make it mean something about ourselves and start the whole cycle over again. Tune in to find out what's really going on. Key Takeaways 1. Discipline Isn't the Answer—and That's Why You Keep Starting Over Forcing yourself through on willpower feels productive at first, but it's the very reason consistency falls apart and you land right back at square one. Trying harder isn't the fix. 2. If You Dread It and Have to Force It, Something Else Is Going On When you're forcing a goal you dread, that resistance is information—not a sign you need more grit. There's usually a belief underneath that hasn't been addressed. 3. Your Beliefs Become Instructions for Your Results A belief is just an old thought you've repeated until it starts to feel true—and from that belief, you make decisions that act like instructions to the world around you. AM walks you through how to name the self-limiting belief that's blocking you, and a journal prompt to question whether it's even real—so you can stop forcing and start moving forward. 📚 Free Workshop Sign up for AM's FREE monthly workshop, Working on Becoming—Live on Substack the first Tuesday of every month. During the session you set a goal and receive accountability from AM all month long: https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop [https://www.amcostanzo.com/free-goal-setting-workshop] 🔗 Connect With AM Instagram: am_costanzo [https://www.instagram.com/am_costanzo/] Substack: amcostanzo.substack.com [http://amcostanzo.substack.com] Facebook: amcostanzowellness [https://www.facebook.com/amcostanzowellness] YouTube: amcostanzowellness [https://www.youtube.com/@amcostanzowellness] Website: amcostanzo.com [http://amcostanzo.com] Subscribe to the Aging Fiercely Podcast. New episodes each week for women over 40 who want to live healthier and more active lives! 💬 Let's Continue the Conversation What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? I'd love to hear from you! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast if you found this episode valuable. It helps other people discover the show, and it only takes 30 seconds!! ♥️