Beneath the Behavior: Supporting Neurodivergent Kids With Science, Not Shame

Autism, IEPs, and 504 Plans: A Parent’s Guide to School Support

After an autism diagnosis, one of the biggest questions parents face is: what do we do about school now? In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers helps parents understand why school can be so overwhelming for autistic children, even when they are academically capable or appear to be “doing fine” in the classroom. School is not just academics. It is sensory input, transitions, social expectations, executive functioning, communication demands, behavior expectations, masking, and nervous system regulation all happening at once. This episode breaks down how autism can affect the school experience, why masking often hides a child’s distress, and why meltdowns, shutdowns, school refusal, anxiety, exhaustion, and after-school crashes may be signs of overload rather than defiance. Dr. Bowers explains what school accommodations are actually for, how to think about IEPs and 504 plans, and why strong grades do not always mean a child does not need support. You’ll learn how to communicate with teachers and school teams more clearly, advocate without immediately becoming combative, and shift the conversation from “my child is difficult” to “my child is struggling under certain conditions.” The episode also covers sensory accommodations, movement breaks, visual supports, extended time, modified testing environments, autism-related burnout, school refusal, and what real progress can look like for neurodivergent children. If you are parenting an autistic child and trying to navigate school, special education, accommodations, advocacy, or school-related anxiety, this episode will help you look beneath the behavior and focus on access, regulation, emotional safety, and sustainable learning. Let Us Know What You Think! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/support] Beneath the Behavior is an educational podcast for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids. The information shared is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own provider. Episodes are intended to offer understanding, context, and language—not individual advice. If you’re looking for ongoing support grounded in the same science-not-shame approach, check out the Neurodivergent Parenting Collective [https://www.drmarkbowers.org/neurodivergent-parenting-collective].

Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: ABA Therapy After an Autism Diagnosis: Red Flags, Green Flags, and Parent Questions

After an autism diagnosis, many parents are quickly told to consider ABA therapy, but deciding what’s right for your child can feel overwhelming, confusing, and emotionally loaded. In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers breaks down what ABA, or Applied Behavior Analysis, actually is, why some families find it helpful, and why many autistic adults have serious concerns about it. This conversation is designed to help parents move beyond fear, pressure, and polarized advice so they can make a more thoughtful decision about autism intervention and support. You’ll learn how to evaluate ABA therapy through the lens of communication, emotional safety, nervous system regulation, autonomy, masking, sensory needs, and long-term well-being. Dr. Bowers also explains the difference between therapy that builds meaningful skills and therapy that simply teaches compliance. This episode covers practical ABA red flags and green flags, including forced eye contact, suppressing stimming, ignoring sensory distress, overemphasizing compliance, respecting AAC, allowing breaks, supporting regulation, and focusing on functional life skills. You’ll also hear how to think about ABA hours, therapy intensity, burnout, and whether an intervention is truly helping your child grow. If you’re a parent trying to decide whether ABA is right for your autistic child, this episode will help you ask better questions, trust your observations, and choose support that respects your child’s communication, safety, independence, and identity. Let Us Know What You Think! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/support] Beneath the Behavior is an educational podcast for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids. The information shared is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own provider. Episodes are intended to offer understanding, context, and language—not individual advice. If you’re looking for ongoing support grounded in the same science-not-shame approach, check out the Neurodivergent Parenting Collective [https://www.drmarkbowers.org/neurodivergent-parenting-collective].

Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: What to Do When Your Autistic Child Melts Down, Shuts Down, or Gets Overwhelmed

Autism and regulation can be one of the most confusing parts of parenting after an autism diagnosis. Why does your child melt down over transitions, shut down before school, fall apart after holding it together all day, or react intensely to sensory overload? In this episode of Beneath the Behavior, Dr. Mark Bowers explains what regulation really means for autistic children and why meltdowns, shutdowns, sensory processing challenges, and transition struggles are often signs of an overwhelmed nervous system, not “bad behavior.” You’ll learn the difference between a tantrum and an autistic meltdown, why shutdowns matter too, how to spot early warning signs before escalation, and what to do first when regulation is the primary concern. Dr. Bowers also walks through after-school collapse, sensory overload, transition support, co-regulation, and how to build a simple regulation plan that helps your child feel safer, calmer, and more supported. This episode is for parents and caregivers of autistic children who want practical, compassionate, science-informed strategies for understanding behavior, supporting emotional regulation, reducing overwhelm, and responding to meltdowns with less shame and more clarity. In this episode: * Autism and regulation * Autistic meltdowns vs. tantrums * Shutdowns and nervous system overwhelm * Sensory overload and sensory processing * Transition struggles in autistic children * After-school collapse and masking * Co-regulation before self-regulation * How to build a practical regulation plan * What to do during and after a meltdown * Supporting neurodivergent kids with science, not shame Let Us Know What You Think! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/support] Beneath the Behavior is an educational podcast for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids. The information shared is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own provider. Episodes are intended to offer understanding, context, and language—not individual advice. If you’re looking for ongoing support grounded in the same science-not-shame approach, check out the Neurodivergent Parenting Collective [https://www.drmarkbowers.org/neurodivergent-parenting-collective].

Autism Diagnosis, Now What?: Autism Communication Strategies That Actually Work

If your autistic child isn’t communicating clearly yet, where do you actually start? In this episode, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers breaks down what to do first when autism and communication challenges show up after a diagnosis. Whether your child is nonverbal, using scripts, struggling to express needs, or melting down when overwhelmed, this episode gives you a clear, practical starting point. You’ll learn why communication is more than talking, how behavior often is communication, and what actually helps kids express needs in real life—not just in therapy. We cover: *  The difference between speech and functional communication  *  Why meltdowns, shutdowns, and “behavior problems” are often communication breakdowns  *  How to identify your child’s current communication style  *  When and why to consider AAC (augmentative and alternative communication)  *  What to do when your child has words but can’t use them under stress  *  How to support echolalia and scripting instead of shutting it down  *  Practical ways to build communication at home without pressure  *  What good speech therapy should actually focus on  If you’ve been told to “wait and see,” push speech, or fix behavior first, this episode will help you shift your approach. Because when communication improves, everything else gets easier. 🎧 This is part of the “Now What?” autism series for parents navigating next steps after diagnosis. Let Us Know What You Think! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/support] Beneath the Behavior is an educational podcast for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids. The information shared is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own provider. Episodes are intended to offer understanding, context, and language—not individual advice. If you’re looking for ongoing support grounded in the same science-not-shame approach, check out the Neurodivergent Parenting Collective [https://www.drmarkbowers.org/neurodivergent-parenting-collective].

Autism (ASD) Diagnosis, Now What?: First Steps Every Parent Needs

Autism diagnosis—now what do you actually do first? Skip the overwhelm and start with what truly matters for your child.  In this Introductory first episode of this Beneath the Behavior miniseries: Now What? Next Steps After a Diagnosis, pediatric psychologist Dr. Mark Bowers breaks down what most parents don’t get after an autism diagnosis: a clear, practical roadmap. Instead of overwhelming you with therapies, referrals, and pressure to “do everything,” this episode shows you how to prioritize the right first step based on your child’s real needs. You’ll learn: *  How to prioritize your first step after an autism diagnosis   The 3-question framework clinicians use to guide next steps   Why trying to fix everything at once often backfires   How communication and regulation shape what your child actually needs *  Why more therapy is not always better *  How to reduce meltdowns by addressing the root cause, not just behavior  This episode is designed for parents of autistic children who feel overwhelmed, behind, or unsure where to start after an ASD diagnosis. If you’ve asked:  “Are we doing the right things?”  “Are we already behind?”  “Where do we even begin?” This episode lays the foundation. In the rest of the series, we’ll break down specific decisions like therapy options, school support, and communication strategies in detail.  Let Us Know What You Think! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/fan_mail/new] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2567695/support] Beneath the Behavior is an educational podcast for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids. The information shared is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own provider. Episodes are intended to offer understanding, context, and language—not individual advice. If you’re looking for ongoing support grounded in the same science-not-shame approach, check out the Neurodivergent Parenting Collective [https://www.drmarkbowers.org/neurodivergent-parenting-collective].