Doing Marriage Well

When Brains Differ: Navigating Neurodivergence in Marriage

Host Paul explores how neurodivergence — especially ADHD but also autism, dyslexia, prosopagnosia and others — shapes emotional needs and perceptions of support within marriage. He discusses a study showing many adults with ADHD feel they don’t receive the emotional help they need from partners and explains how different cognitive and emotional patterns can create relationship gaps. The episode emphasises treating neurodivergence as a shared marriage issue, improving partner understanding, and seeking tailored support. Resource: Two Different Brains in Love: Conflict Resolution in Neurodiverse Relationships [https://bit.ly/4tZ04kK] ~ Gottman institute

Are You on the Same Page? Dreams, Goals, and Your Marriage Quest

This episode helps couples distinguish dreams, goals, aims, ambitions, targets, and quests—and shows why labelling and communicating your desires matter for a healthy marriage. Paul and Lori share how a personal dream became a shared RV goal, offering practical steps to align visions, plus a mention of supporting the Humphrey family as they seek a home for eight foster children. Speaking of fostering children, it’s been way too long since I mentioned the effort to build the Humphrey Family a home for their eight foster children. If you are looking for a good cause to support, check it out [https://www.gofundme.com/f/humphreyhome]!

Is Venting Healthy? The Surprising Truth About Anger

Doing Marriage Well — May 25, 2026: This episode examines whether venting actually helps with anger and why many studies show it keeps us stuck in a fight-or-flight state instead of calming us down. Paul explains the difference between healthy reflection and harmful venting, and offers practical alternatives to reduce arousal—breathing exercises, long hugs, and slow walks (especially without rehashing the issue). Learn how to ask your spouse to help you calm down rather than validate your anger, and why using your partner as a verbal punching bag harms your marriage.

The Bedroom Filter: Are Biases Hurting Your Sex Life?

This episode explores how cognitive biases and miscommunication affect couples' sexual lives, covering mismatched frequency estimates, misinterpreted signals, and misconceptions about female orgasm, and offers simple strategies for clearer communication and better understanding.

Is the False Consensus Effect Hurting Your Marriage?

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (May 21, 2026), Paul explains three cognitive biases that can damage relationships: the Zanargic effect (remembering unfinished tasks more than completed ones), negativity bias (focusing on problems over positives), and the false consensus effect (assuming your partner shares your views). Paul offers a simple remedy: question your assumptions, ask clarifying questions, and intentionally notice the positive moments to counter these biases. He closes with a reminder that every marriage is different – and a lighthearted dispute over the "right" way to hang toilet paper.