Dream Fuelerzz - Tools and stories to rewire your mind and reclaim your power

$500 Bail for Attempted Murder: A Survivor's Fight for Justice

What do you do when the system that's supposed to protect you fails you completely? What do you do when you survive something unsurvivable, only to watch your abuser walk free? In this powerful episode of Dream Fuelerzz, host Natasha Jane Julian sits down with Cait Alexander: actor, model, singer, composer, and now activist and founder of End Violence Everywhere (EVE). Cait shares her harrowing story of a relationship that began idyllically and quickly spiraled into alcohol abuse, coercive control, and eventually a brutal beating that nearly took her life. She also exposes the shocking legal loophole that allowed her abuser to go free despite overwhelming evidence, and reveals why she is now suing the Canadian government to change the law for good. But this episode is not just about what happened to Cait. It is about what she did next. Fueled by rage, grief, and an unshakable sense of justice, Cait founded EVE, a registered charity operating in both Canada and the United States, to support survivors of intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking, and to fight the systemic failures that let abusers go free. This episode is a must‑listen for anyone who has ever felt trapped in a toxic relationship, wondered why survivors don't "just leave," or wanted to understand how broken systems fail victims. Cait's courage and her mission to turn pain into purpose will leave you equal parts heartbroken and inspired. This is a story of survival. This is a story of power reclaimed. Key Takeaways * The cycle of abuse can begin beautifully – Abusers often present as perfect partners * Psychological abuse changes the brain long before physical violence appears * Victims do not “just stay”; coercive control and trauma make leaving incredibly difficult * Abuse thrives in isolation, secrecy, shame, and emotional dependency * The legal and medical systems frequently fail survivors even when evidence is overwhelming * Trauma impacts every part of a person’s ability to function, trust, and feel safe * Healing begins when survivors stop blaming themselves and start reaching out for support * Real change requires cultural shifts, better systems, and teaching young boys healthier ways to process emotions and power In This Episode * [00:02] Welcome to Dream Fuelerzz * [00:24] Introducing Cait Alexander * [01:26] Cait's background and career * [02:26] Childhood and early life * [05:31] How the relationship began * [08:31] When everything changed: the first incident * [12:28] The cycle of apology and escalation * [17:53] Coercive control and psychological abuse * [19:07] How the brain changes under abuse * [22:25] The night of the near-fatal attack * [25:45] Reaching out for help and the police response * [32:52] How the justice system failed Cait * [33:56] The Supreme Court ruling that lets abusers walk free * [37:37] Founding End Violence Everywhere (EVE) * [40:29] Why ending violence is everyone's issue * [43:35] Cait's production company and survivor storytelling * [44:37] A surreal update: her abuser has died * [47:24] Cait's message to survivors * [48:02] Where to find Cait and EVE  Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Cait Alexander * Website: https://www.caitalexander.com/ [https://www.caitalexander.com/] * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944 [http://linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/ [https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/] * End Violence Everywhere (EVE): https://www.endviolenceeverywhere.org/ [https://www.endviolenceeverywhere.org/] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

Why You Don't Feel Safe in Your Own Body (And What to Do About It)

What if the thing holding you back from fully showing up in your life isn't fear, self-doubt, or lack of confidence but something even deeper? What if you've been living in a body that doesn't feel safe, and you didn't even know it? In this solo episode of Dream Fuelerzz, host Natasha Jane Julian gets deeply personal about one of the most profound themes in her healing journey: safety. Not physical safety but the kind that lives quietly in your mind, your body, your voice, and the way you move through the world. The kind that, when it's missing, keeps you tiptoeing, shrinking, people pleasing, and abandoning yourself without even realizing it. Natasha shares openly that she is right in the middle of this healing journey herself, which makes this episode deeply relatable. She unpacks how safety begins in childhood, how a highly reactive environment can teach a child that speaking up isn't safe, and how that lesson bleeds into every corner of adult life. She also walks through the healing modalities she has explored, from talk therapy to somatic therapy to her first life-changing breathwork session, and why getting the trauma out of the body, not just the mind, is where the real transformation begins. This is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt like they had to hide, shrink, or silence themselves to keep the peace. Let’s dive in! Key Takeaways * Safety isn't just physical; it lives in your thoughts, your voice, your movements, and your relationships * You can be living without safety and not even know it; it hides in people pleasing, self-silencing, and self-abandonment * A highly reactive home environment teaches children that speaking up and being themselves carries consequences * Somatic therapy and breathwork go beyond talk; they release trauma stored in the body * Safety is not something you chase; it is something you build from within * When you feel safe, you stop shrinking and start expanding, creating, and becoming * Safety is the root of everything: confidence, trust, self-worth, and your ability to live authentically In This Episode * [00:00] Welcome to Dream Fuelerzz * [00:24] What safety really means * [02:22] Signs you don’t feel safe * [03:27] Teaching kids emotional safety * [05:55] Freedom to be yourself * [08:41] Natasha’s safety awakening * [09:49] Childhood roots and people pleasing * [11:31] Healing tools that help * [13:58] Building safety within * [14:59] Safety leads to trust * [16:23] Closing and next steps Notable Quotes * [01:20] "You could be living right now without feeling safe and not even know it, because it lives quietly in your mind and your body and your thoughts and the way you move throughout the world." — Natasha Jane Julian * [08:01] "Safety is the ability to do it wrong, to fail. Because if you don't have that net, you will never be able to experiment." — Natasha Jane Julian * [09:01] "Once I discovered that the reason why these things were happening to me is because deep down there was a core issue of not feeling safe — that was the moment I was able to grab it and start working on this." — Natasha Jane Julian * [14:43] "When you feel safe, you don't shrink. You don't silence yourself, and you don't abandon who you are. Instead, you expand. You create. You become." — Natasha Jane Julian * [15:45] "After safety comes trust. After trust comes confidence. After confidence comes self-worth. And where does it all stem from? Safety." — Natasha Jane Julian Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

You Don’t Have to Live Like a Survivor Forever

What does it really mean to live in survival mode, and how do you finally stop carrying fear, scarcity, stress, and generational trauma as your identity? In this episode of the Dream Fuelerzz Podcast, host Natasha Jane Julian opens up about the hidden ways survival mode shows up in everyday life, especially around money, luck, fear, shame, and constantly feeling like you are in fight or flight. Through her own story, Natasha explores how scarcity mindset can be passed down through generations and how phrases like “I can’t afford that,” “people like us don’t get to do that,” or “there’s never enough” can quietly shape your entire reality. This episode is a powerful conversation about healing your relationship with money, breaking generational cycles, shifting your belief system, and learning how to feel safe in your body and mind again. Natasha shares how awareness became the first step in her own transformation and why rewriting your money story is not about pretending everything is fine. It is about training your brain to recognize abundance, possibility, and freedom. If you have ever felt stuck in survival mode, trapped in scarcity thinking, or tired of living as if struggle is your only option, this episode will help you begin the process of breaking the cycle and choosing something new. Key Takeaways * What survival mode really looks like in everyday life * Why living in survival mode keeps you reactive, fearful, and disconnected from the present moment * How your language around money can reveal your deeper belief system * Why money mindset is not just about wealth, but peace, freedom, safety, and choice * How to stop identifying as “broke” or “a survivor” and begin creating a new internal reality * Why healing survival mode requires consistent rewiring, not pretending everything is okay Chapters * [00:00] Introduction * [00:57] Common phrases that reveal a scarcity mindset * [01:52] The first step to healing survival mode * [02:56] How generational trauma shaped Natasha’s money beliefs * [03:27] When being broke becomes part of your identity * [04:59] How negative money beliefs block abundance * [06:04] Learning how to stop living like a survivor * [06:36] Awareness, language, and noticing your own patterns * [07:42] Examining your core beliefs about money * [08:04] Asking “why” and challenging inherited narratives * [09:25] Asking whether you still want to live as a survivor * [10:26] Thanking survival mode and choosing something new Notable Quotes * [01:25] “Living in survival is like living in a constant state of fight or flight because when you're in that state, you're always reacting.” * [03:27] “Being broke wasn't just something that was thrown around like a joke. It was our identity.” * [06:04] “Surviving kept us alive, but it also kept us small.” * [09:25] “Ask yourself, do I really want to live as a survivor?” Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

How Nona Melkonian Turned Heartbreak Into Healing, Voice, and Impact

What do you do when the life you built suddenly falls apart in the middle of postpartum, career uncertainty, and a global shutdown? In this deeply honest episode of the Dream Fuelerzz Podcast, host Natasha Jane Julian sits down with Nona Melkonian to discuss healing after separation, rebuilding identity after heartbreak, navigating motherhood through crisis, and finding purpose in the midst of pain. Nona opens up about her immigrant roots, her long road to Los Angeles, and the moment she realized storytelling was always part of her calling. This conversation explores what healing after a broken relationship really looks like when you have children, responsibilities, and no clean cinematic ending. Nona shares how COVID, a newborn, and the end of her 17-year relationship forced her to face a completely new reality, and how support, creativity, poetry, and community helped her survive it. From Armenian community activism to publishing her poetry, this episode is about resilience, emotional healing, personal transformation, and refusing to give up on your dream just because life got messy. Key Takeaways * Postpartum, motherhood, and grief can collide in ways that completely reshape your identity * Asking for help and leaning on community can be part of survival, not weakness * Creative outlets like poetry, journaling, movement, and storytelling can become powerful healing tools * Turning pain into purpose can create a new path you never planned for * It’s never too late to move, pivot, rebuild, and chase the dream you put on hold In This Episode * 00:00 Introduction * 01:46 Born in Ukraine, raised between cultures, and drawn to LA * 04:45 Nona’s childhood creative spark and early pull toward the arts * 05:47 The moment a 12-year-old Nona realized storytelling was her lane * 07:11 How young love changed the plan and delayed the dream * 09:22 Moving to Los Angeles with two kids and a now-or-never mindset * 10:54 Putting a dream on hold for timing, family, and stability * 14:19 When COVID hit just as career momentum was building * 15:24 A newborn, a shutdown, and the separation that changed everything * 22:59 Why unprocessed emotions always come back another way * 27:45 Turning personal pain into purpose through the Armenian community * 29:10 Poetry, hikes, and writing her way through the hardest season * 30:52 Publishing the poems and letting the full story breathe * 38:36 What healing really looks like when it is not linear * 40:48 The message that lands hardest: it is never too late * 42:26 Why she stopped overplanning and learned to pivot Notable Quotes * [20:15] “Things happen the way they're supposed to. And that's how it was supposed to happen for us.” * [29:10] “My greatest driving force to stay in LA was that I needed to get through whatever I'm going through right now.” * [38:46] “Healing isn't linear. You'll take two steps forward, one step back, but ultimately if you're moving forward, you're healing.” Guest Nona Melkonian is a TV host, media producer, content creator, mom of three, and community connector. Born in Ukraine to an Armenian father and Ukrainian mother, she later lived in Armenia before growing up in San Francisco and eventually moving to Los Angeles to pursue storytelling and entertainment media. She turned one of the hardest seasons of her life into art by publishing a poetry collection drawn from her 2020 healing journey, using her voice to help others feel seen, heard, and less alone. Resources and Links Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Nona Melkonian * No Leash, No Retreat: Poems of Becoming: https://www.amazon.com/No-Leash-Retreat-Poems-Becoming/dp/B0GRV2FBL3 [https://www.amazon.com/No-Leash-Retreat-Poems-Becoming/dp/B0GRV2FBL3] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nonamelkoni/ [https://www.instagram.com/nonamelkoni/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nonamelkonian/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/nonamelkonian/] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]

Why Self-Trust is the Foundation of Confidence, Growth, and True Alignment with Roxanne Saffaie

Some of the hardest moments in life can feel like setbacks, but they often become the spark that shapes who you’re meant to be.  In this episode of Dream Fuelerzz, Natasha Jane Julian sits down with Roxanne Saffaie for a raw conversation on courage, identity, and self-mastery. Roxanne shares her journey from a childhood marked by domestic violence to building a purpose-driven life, tracing the path from Kauai to New York City and ultimately to her calling: helping women trust themselves and stop settling for less than they deserve. Together, they unpack what it really means to grow after hardship, why a victim mindset can hide your strength, and how self-mastery goes deeper than self-development. Roxanne explores the role of self-trust, the tension between excellence and perfectionism, and why your heart should lead while your mind supports. She also dives into the power of honest self-love, personal responsibility, and journaling as a tool for deeper self-connection, making this episode a powerful invitation to stop settling and start living from a place of real, unshakable self-trust. Key Takeaways * Why self-trust is the foundation of self-mastery and authentic living * The difference between excellence and perfectionism and why it matters * How childhood adversity can fuel resilience instead of victimhood * How fear of failure blocks growth, creativity, and opportunity * How journaling builds self-awareness, emotional resilience, and clarity In This Episode * [00:00] Introduction * [03:21] Roxanne’s path to self-mastery * [07:04] Awareness, agency, and shaping your reality * [10:04] Why self-trust is everything * [11:51] Childhood adversity and resilience * [14:56] Post-traumatic growth vs. victim mindset * [21:19] Life path: Hawaii, New York, and entrepreneurship * [26:16] Excellence vs. perfectionism * [29:21] Reframing failure and identity * [32:04] The power of living from the heart * [34:52] Intuition, ego, and inner alignment * [39:08] Self-actualization and soul purpose * [41:48] Journaling and the Heart Alchemy Writing Challenge * [46:23] Healing the past to create the future * [49:54] Sitting with discomfort and building self-trust * [52:40] Self-intimacy and redefining self-love * [55:43] Where to find Roxanne + upcoming book Notable Quotes * [09:25] “If you don’t trust yourself, you never get to really meet the fullness of your being.” — Roxanne Saffaie * [27:18] “Excellence is a standard. A perfectionist has a very hard time with failure. In fact, doesn’t even want to bring it.” — Roxanne Saffaie * [28:58] “You can fail, but that doesn’t make you a failure. In fact, it makes you a winner because you went for it.” — Roxanne Saffaie * [51:18] “When you don’t abandon yourself and you learn that it’s safe to be in yourself and sit in discomfort, what starts to happen is you start to trust.” — Roxanne Saffaie Guest Roxanne Saffaie is a self-mastery writer, top-ranked podcaster (The Roxanne Show), speaker, and artist. She spent years helping women worldwide sharpen their courage, deepen their self-trust, and stop negotiating with the lives they actually want. A self-proclaimed “street philosopher” and “heart’s publicist,” Roxanne blends psychology, neuroscience, and soulful wisdom to guide others toward self-actualization. Her upcoming book, The Woman Who Doesn’t Settle, is set to be released in the fall. Resources and Links  Dream Fuelerzz * https://dreamfuelerzz.com/ [https://dreamfuelerzz.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/dfpodcastwithnjj/?hl=en] Roxanne Saffaie * https://www.roxannesaffaie.com/ [https://www.roxannesaffaie.com/] * https://www.instagram.com/roxylook [https://www.instagram.com/roxylook] * Podcast: The Roxanne Show [https://www.roxannesaffaie.com/podcast] * HEART-ALCHEMY WRITING CHALLENGE: https://www.roxannesaffaie.com/heartalchemy [https://www.roxannesaffaie.com/heartalchemy] Natasha Jane Julian * Website: https://natashajanejulian.com/ [https://natashajanejulian.com/] * LinkedIn: https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian [https://www.facebook.com/NatashaJaneJulian] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/ [https://www.instagram.com/natashajanej/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian [https://www.youtube.com/c/natashajanejulian]