From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks

Pursuing Understanding, Gaining Knowledge, the Value of Wisdom in Our Lives

EPISODE 5 A THIRTY-ONE MILE JOURNEY Application of Proverbs Chapter 2 Pursuing Understanding, Gaining Knowledge, the Value of Wisdom in Our Lives “Somewhere between the bottom of the climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery why we climb.” by Greg Child, has been one of the most life changing quotes of my life.  In this life we will all face challenges.  We will all fail.  We will all want to quit.  We will all lose someone close to us.  We will have some wins in life.  There will be excitement and joy, and there will be tremendous disappointment in our lives.  Somewhere between the bottom and the summit as human beings we learn so much about ourselves, and we learn so much about others as we travel through life.  No matter where we are from in this world, or how we were raised, we all share the emotional roller coaster life presents to us in this life.  Today, we will explore how the undefined dynamics of perception and perspective distort our understanding, knowledge, and wisdom.  See, our perception of life as we travel through life is determined by factors and circumstances completely outside of our own doing.  Our perception of life begins with a first person, or shooter’s point of reference for each of us.  See, I can view the side of your head, and even the back of your head from my first-person viewpoint, but I cannot see the side or the back of my own head without a mirror.  The nature of perception from a physiological viewpoint is expressed through our sight and vision.  The human brain and the complexity of our brains is dynamic and fascinating beyond measure or outcome.  The mind presents an even more complex exploration of perception.  Our experiences, and environment nurture the perception of our minds.  The hard wiring of our brain downloads and stores all information making, just one single human brain more in-depth and complex than any computer ever assembled. The mind involves all aspects of the human experience, taking into consideration details associated with emotions, character, principles, and our unique and personal understanding of what we believe, why we believe it, and where we learned about our beliefs.  Perception is a complex interplay of interpretation, integration, and cognitive influences, allowing us to navigate and make sense of our world on our journey – “somewhere between the bottom and the summit.”  Here are three aspects of perception I want to highlight for this podcast:   First is Interpretation: The brain and mind use past experiences, knowledge, and context to interpret our boundaries, about what groups, or types of people can be trusted, and who should be avoided and sometimes who is undeserving of dignity, who to trust, or stay clear of.  The source of our learning plays a significant role in shaping our thoughts, therefore playing a profound role in families, communities, and even our country, about who is worthy of being trusted as an authority figure, “Somewhere Between the Bottom and The Summit.” American history and the interpretation of our history is a true journey, “From Wounds To Scars To Beauty Marks.”  It is difficult to face the ugly details of history, and it is amazing to have lived outside of this country and feel a sense of honor for America.  No matter where Americans stand in their unique interpretations of our history, there is no avoiding the fact that it is difficult to navigate the darkness of reaping what has been sowed, because of debts not paid for a job well done by slaves.  It is wise to celebrate and honor the offspring of the American slaves.  The African American has been a great friend to America.  This is a fact.  It is also a fact that “Somewhere Between the Bottom and the Summit,” that America is great.  America is not beautiful simply because of what hides in our history.  America is beautiful because beauty marks were once wounds that turned to scars, and now give character to Her historical struggles.  Next is Integration: Perception is not just about individual senses; it involves integrating information from multiple senses to form a cohesive understanding of the environment. Authority plays a significant role in how wisdom is applied in our life journey, “Somewhere Between the Bottom and the Summit.”  I am so grateful to my amazing family, and the love that was poured into me growing up.  What my family lacked in money; they made up for in love.  As a young black man growing up trying to navigate my life’s journey, their love was not enough to achieve, and avoiding every negative statistic society has  presented my entire life about young black boys who grew up in my circumstances.  As many of you know, I am not who I am without the great influences of amazing people who have believed in me, both encouraged me, and held me accountable when life was challenging.  The diverse experiences of great people make up some much of how and why I view the world through a lens of perception that refuses to leave out any of the details.  I am a blessed man.  These people saw my depression.  My anxiety.  My insecurity.  My shame, but always integrated themselves in me in a way that allowed me to cultivate the character to reach my potential.  I am forever grateful.  The environment to succeed was created for me to succeed.  The most important factor that changed my life was not the environment that was created for my success.  The tutoring, rides home, or to school.  The biggest factor was that I was able to discern the perception of how all of these wonderful people believed in me.  Once I knew I was believed in, no one had to hold me accountable.  I was never going to be late for a tutoring session, workout, practice, or my job at McDonalds.  Belief goes a long way.  Belief is the foundation of trust.  Belief will allow someone to make a mistake but know deep down they are better than the behavior.  See, once we learn to believe in other Americans then, and only then we will share the same perception of what it means to be patriotic.     Third are Cognitive Factors: Factors such as expectations, beliefs, and emotions can influence perception. Our prior knowledge and experiences shape how we interpret sensory information, potentially leading to different perceptions of the same stimulus. How we think influences what we perceive as valuable wisdom.  How, and what we think about others, and groups outside of the groups we claim, in most cases reflect the information we received about them from a young age.  On a trip to a basketball tournament, my son in the 7th grade, expressed to me how annoyed he was with his classmates regarding the presidential election.  He was being pressured to share who his parents were going to vote for.  Well, that was going to be very difficult for him to do considering we do not discuss any political issues in front of our children.  I have three kids and we have three letters from different two presidents, from opposite political parties on our fireplace.  As a family we have much we will need to work on over the years, but speaking bad about political leaders in our home won’t be one of them.  Proverbs 9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path.” The culmination of seeking wisdom leads to an understanding of moral values and the ability to discern what is right, just, and equitable in life.  Though our life journey “Somewhere Between the Bottom and the Summit,” will have challenges, the hope is that our experiences lead to wisdom in hopes that our footprints leave guidance, and understanding for those who will travel a similar path after we have completed our purposeful mission in this life.  I’m Dr. Octavious Bishop, and thank you for joining the “From Wounds To Scars To Beauty Marks,” podcast.

A Thirty-One Mile Journey

EP. 4 A THIRTY-ONE MILE JOURNEY Happy New Year, and welcome to the first “From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks” podcast of 2025.  My name is Octavious Bishop and I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to this podcast.  Every new year allows us to reflect and reposition ourselves to grow and build upon our wins, and yes, our loses from the previous year.  Life is a conundrum at times.  What seems of the norm, or common to one person, group, or community, is foreign to another.  You and I did not choose how we would come into this world.  Who our parents would be.  What community, or neighborhood would we be raised in?  What nation, religion, belief systems, and even the freedoms we would be granted, or denied?  See, our brains were hijacked at birth, and during the most critical and sensitive periods of our brain development.  We have been fed the perspectives that have been passed down to us for centuries.  I am both thankful and saddened about what has been passed down to humanity.  On one hand, it is clear to see the magnificence of humans, how we continue to advance, and our adaptability is truly extraordinary.  On the other hand, my heart is broken by the blinders we place over our eyes as we watch the suffering of others facing life’s most difficult challenges, and disdain for those who stand on the other side’s beliefs, in many cases we have never come to our conclusions about.  See, hypocrisy is a problem for us all.  Yes, I am a hypocrite, and I must address this daily, as a husband, a father, a professor, a friend, a sinner, and a man of faith living in a Western nation, proclaiming the name of Jesus, with Eastern perspectives. My wife and I are currently getting a taste of our own bad-tasting medicine, as we navigate to raise our pre-teen son.  You would think, with my wife being a mid-level practitioner, and me a professor, ordained minister, and much of my career serving the needs of and giving guidance to families about their teenager, I would be this outstanding calm communicator with my own almost 13-year-old son.  Wrong, I struggle daily trying not to revert back to being a deeply wounded insecure husky, bad-smelling, know-it-all all 13-year-old prepubescent male.  Truth is we can all look back at our younger years and cringe at how little we valued the wisdom of our parents, family, and teachers. As we mature, we begin to understand that seeking wisdom and knowledge is a must for our future.  In everyday life, this can translate to actively pursuing education, mentorship, and personal development opportunities that can lead to a strong faith, a purposeful career, and eventually allow us to reach back and bring someone along with us on this life journey.  Heeding the advice of those who came before me has saved me from the pain of regret in so many ways.  Growing up, and well into my young adult years I knew I wanted to be a husband and a father, but in that order.  By no means have I been perfect in my life, but having my three children with one person has been a blessing in my life.  There have been many men in my life who have been vulnerable enough to warn me about being undisciplined in character, and I am so grateful these men were open, honest, and willing to share their hearts with me. Exploring both Knowledge and Wisdom    I will address three areas of significance, hoping to open a window of understanding for both you and me.  Many of the topics on this podcast are simply explored through my own lens of character defects I have worked through, and many I am currently working through.  As I tell my college students, the goal is to be your colleague one day not just another professor giving you papers, tests, and assignments to complete for a grade.  We are doing life together, and I am glad about it. One of the most impactful lectures I have taught as a psychology professor for the last fourteen years is helping students gain insight into the differences between intuition and discernment.  Intuition and discernment are both ways of understanding or knowing, but they differ in their origins and applications.  The psychological brain play on these two terms is very important in traveling the rough terrain of gaining both knowledge and wisdom.  Before I go any further, it is important to state that the brain is hardwired.  This means that the most primitive aspects of our human behavior respond and express themselves involuntarily.  I like to explain the mind as a white canvas, and every person has been uniquely created to paint, with different shades of similar colors, as an expression of what’s on one’s mind.  Intuition and Discernment are closely related, but one expresses itself from the hardwiring of the brain (intuition) and the other(discernment) is cultivated over time based on experiences, and perspectives, that eventually are expressed through our behaviors.  Here are three quick explanations for both intuition and discernment. 1. Intuition: The Nature of intuition is often described as a gut feeling or instinctive understanding.  This is biological and very necessary for risk management and safety, but as we all know our gut feelings are never to be ignored, in many cases cannot always be trusted, we are not perfectly wired.  Just because a person looks like a threat doe does not mean they are a threat.  The Source of intuition comes from the subconscious processing of experiences and knowledge.  It’s more emotional and spontaneous.  Two very important systems of our brains impact our minds.  The limbic system is responsible for emotional regulation. The second system of our brains has to do with decision-making and can be referred to as the business center of our brains.  Intuition is a wonderful response God has blessed us with but must be checked until more experiences have been lived out in our lives to gain more insight, therefore allowing our knowledge to be processed and retained. The application of intuition is utilized in making quick decisions without extensive reasoning or analysis.  Athletes are a great example of how intuition plays out in performance.  Their training is rote and repetitive.  This allows high-level athletes to perform without overthinking. 2. Discernment: The Nature of discernment involves a more deliberate and thoughtful process of evaluating and understanding.  The Source of discernment can be expressed and explained by the life one is living or has lived.  Discernment relies on wisdom, experience, and critical thinking; it can also include spiritual insight.  In my personal Christian and faith journey, I have had to work through some misguided understanding of how discernment has been used as a tool of judgment and finding fault, rather than a tool for growth, helping oneself and others to align more closely with truth and righteousness.  This understanding can help folks cultivate a more balanced and effective approach to discernment in their spiritual practices.    The Application of discernment is used for making judgments, distinguishing between right and wrong, or assessing complex situations.   Intuition tends to be more instinctual and immediate, while discernment involves careful consideration and evaluation. Happy New Year and thank you for listening to this podcast.  I hope you will revisit and go with me on “A Thirty-One Mile Journey” here on the “From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks podcast.”

Ep. 3 Acoustics Matters, Intuition vs Discernment

EP. 3 ACOUSTICS MATTERS, INTUITION VS DISCERNMENT Welcome to the From Wounds to Beauty Marks podcast.  My name is Octavious Bishop, and I am thrilled that you would choose to listen to this podcast.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  We live in a loud and noisy world today.  The toxic nature in which information is being spread through the media, and on just about every social media platform is concerning.  The old saying that bad news sells, but good news is slow to show, sure holds much weight in the hearts and minds of people across the globe.  I have been a psychology professor for the past 15 years, a pastor since 2015, and a speaker since 2012.  One of the most complex and interesting topics and lectures I have taught over the years is on the topic, of intuition vs. discernment. As a former collegiate, and professional offensive lineman, I learned early on that offensive line coaches…..were let’s just say very direct with correction.  I personally never had a problem with the direct nature of the constructive criticism or the abrupt presence that many of them had while I was playing.  The value of knowing where I stood no matter how the information was delivered from my position coaches was much appreciated.  This sentiment was not held by some of my fellow offensive linemen while being coached in the very physically, and mentally grinding sport of football.  From the very beginning of my career, I understood that being coached hard was a peek into the potential others see in me that I could not see in myself.  I am thankful to every coach that believed in me whether they were cursing me out, praising, or praising how I played. It was a privilege to receive such honest feedback from my coaches.  The training made me durable, and the coaching had me prepared to play, but constructive criticism built my mentality.  My career outside of football has been enhanced beyond the academic degrees I hold, and the accolades I have received throughout my football career.  In this life, a song is being played, and every living being on earth has a note to play.  Learning to hear the note we were created to play first, takes awareness, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Self-awareness leads us on the journey of addressing our perceptions about situations, circumstances, and human behavior.  Physical awareness plays an essential role in being present.  In my psychology classes, I challenge my students and those I have counseled, and mentored, to explore where in their bodies they feel stress, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, anxiety, happiness, excitement, and fulfillment.  Mentally, I teach students the difference between the expression of our brains vs. the abstract nature of our minds.  These concepts play a significant role in how we manage our limbic system which is responsible for our emotional regulation, and the play on our prefrontal cortex which is responsible for our decision making.  Our spiritual journey through this lens of life offers us a look into the possibilities beyond physical matter, what we can see with our faulty eyes.  Spirituality builds a bridge to explore consciousness outside of our thoughts, and limited understanding of why we even exist. As stated earlier, the world we live in today is full of information.  This has both advantages and disadvantages concerning how we each process the most pressing issue of our society.  Let’s explore the strengths of both intuition and discernment.   The strengths of intuition can be assessed the lens of first speed and efficiency.  Intuition allows for quick decision-making without the need for extensive analysis or deliberation. It can provide immediate insights or responses, which can be valuable in time-sensitive situations.  It is important to note that our intuition is not always correct.  Due to our judgmental nature, we are often wrong about judging others without relational investment, through comparison, trends, societal norms, and cycles of socialization that influence our behavior towards others.  The second strength of intuition is pattern recognition. Intuition often relies on our subconscious ability to recognize patterns and make connections. It can help us identify trends or relationships that may not be immediately apparent through logical reasoning. The third strength is emotional intelligence.  Intuition can be closely linked to our emotions and can help us tap into our feelings and instincts. It can provide a valuable perspective that considers our emotions and the emotions of others involved in the decision-making process.  It is important to pay close attention to our gut feelings.  It is more important to rest on strong principles of belief that we accumulate over time to gain wisdom. So, what is discernment? Discernment is the ability to perceive, understand, and judge things clearly, especially those that are not obvious or straightforward. The strength of discernment is assessed through a cognitive lens of critical thinking.  Discernment involves a more deliberate and analytical approach to decision-making. It allows for careful evaluation of information, considering different perspectives, and weighing the pros and cons of various options.  Discernment is evidence-based and relies on evidence and reasoning to make informed decisions. It involves gathering and analyzing data, conducting research, and making logical connections between different pieces of information.  The last strength is risk assessment. Discernment helps in assessing and managing risks associated with different choices. It allows for a thorough examination of potential consequences and helps in making decisions that minimize risks and maximize benefits.  Risk assessment is where boundaries must be set to protect what is most valuable and important to you.  Marriages, careers, parenting, mentoring, coaching, business relationships…etc. Today, I want to challenge us all to deeply dive into how we process all the information we are being influenced by.  Whether it’s the polarization of politics, marriage issues, or making a decision regarding finances, exploring, understanding, and becoming more aware of our intuition, and discernment will play a profound role in our future.  So, remember, a song is being played, and we each have a note to play in this life.  Are we out of tune?  Are we on rhythm?  Has the noise of information changed the structure of our brain’s limbic system, and invaded our prefrontal cortex, causing decisions to be made that are detrimental to our very being? The beauty of our brains is found in just how plastic each of our brains are.  The plasticity of our brains is essentially how we change our behavior.  We are created to learn.  Our minds are vast in scope and have only the limits we allow to focus on. I sincerely hope there is something you can take from this episode and implement into your company.  I’m Dr. Octavious Bishop, and I thank you so much for joining the From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks podcast. Download File [http://Ep. 3 Acoustics Matters, Intuition vs Discernment Welcome to the From Wounds to Beauty Marks podcast.  My name is Octavious Bishop, and I am thrilled that you would choose to listen to this podcast.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  We live in a loud and noisy world today.  The toxic nature in which information is being spread through the media, and on just about every social media platform is concerning.  The old saying that bad news sells, but good news is slow to show, sure holds much weight in the hearts and minds of people across the globe.  I have been a psychology professor for the past 15 years, a pastor since 2015, and a speaker since 2012.  One of the most complex and interesting topics and lectures I have taught over the years is on the topic, of intuition vs. discernment.  As a former collegiate, and professional offensive lineman, I learned early on that offensive line coaches…..were let's just say very direct with correction.  I personally never had a problem with the direct nature of the constructive criticism or the abrupt presence that many of them had while I was playing.  The value of knowing where I stood no matter how the information was delivered from my position coaches was much appreciated.  This sentiment was not held by some of my fellow offensive linemen while being coached in the very physically, and mentally grinding sport of football.  From the very beginning of my career, I understood that being coached hard was a peek into the potential others see in me that I could not see in myself.  I am thankful to every coach that believed in me whether they were cursing me out, praising, or praising how I played.  It was a privilege to receive such honest feedback from my coaches.  The training made me durable, and the coaching had me prepared to play, but constructive criticism built my mentality.  My career outside of football has been enhanced beyond the academic degrees I hold, and the accolades I have received throughout my football career.  In this life, a song is being played, and every living being on earth has a note to play.  Learning to hear the note we were created to play first, takes awareness, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Self-awareness leads us on the journey of addressing our perceptions about situations, circumstances, and human behavior.  Physical awareness plays an essential role in being present.  In my psychology classes, I challenge my students and those I have counseled, and mentored, to explore where in their bodies they feel stress, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, anxiety, happiness, excitement, and fulfillment.  Mentally, I teach students the difference between the expression of our brains vs. the abstract nature of our minds.  These concepts play a significant role in how we manage our limbic system which is responsible for our emotional regulation, and the play on our prefrontal cortex which is responsible for our decision making.  Our spiritual journey through this lens of life offers us a look into the possibilities beyond physical matter, what we can see with our faulty eyes.  Spirituality builds a bridge to explore consciousness outside of our thoughts, and limited understanding of why we even exist.  As stated earlier, the world we live in today is full of information.  This has both advantages and disadvantages concerning how we each process the most pressing issue of our society.  Let’s explore the strengths of both intuition and discernment.   The strengths of intuition can be assessed the lens of first speed and efficiency.  Intuition allows for quick decision-making without the need for extensive analysis or deliberation. It can provide immediate insights or responses, which can be valuable in time-sensitive situations.  It is important to note that our intuition is not always correct.  Due to our judgmental nature, we are often wrong about judging others without relational investment, through comparison, trends, societal norms, and cycles of socialization that influence our behavior towards others.  The second strength of intuition is pattern recognition. Intuition often relies on our subconscious ability to recognize patterns and make connections. It can help us identify trends or relationships that may not be immediately apparent through logical reasoning. The third strength is emotional intelligence.  Intuition can be closely linked to our emotions and can help us tap into our feelings and instincts. It can provide a valuable perspective that considers our emotions and the emotions of others involved in the decision-making process.  It is important to pay close attention to our gut feelings.  It is more important to rest on strong principles of belief that we accumulate over time to gain wisdom. So, what is discernment? Discernment is the ability to perceive, understand, and judge things clearly, especially those that are not obvious or straightforward. The strength of discernment is assessed through a cognitive lens of critical thinking.  Discernment involves a more deliberate and analytical approach to decision-making. It allows for careful evaluation of information, considering different perspectives, and weighing the pros and cons of various options.  Discernment is evidence-based and relies on evidence and reasoning to make informed decisions. It involves gathering and analyzing data, conducting research, and making logical connections between different pieces of information.  The last strength is risk assessment. Discernment helps in assessing and managing risks associated with different choices. It allows for a thorough examination of potential consequences and helps in making decisions that minimize risks and maximize benefits.  Risk assessment is where boundaries must be set to protect what is most valuable and important to you.  Marriages, careers, parenting, mentoring, coaching, business relationships…etc. Today, I want to challenge us all to deeply dive into how we process all the information we are being influenced by.  Whether it’s the polarization of politics, marriage issues, or making a decision regarding finances, exploring, understanding, and becoming more aware of our intuition, and discernment will play a profound role in our future.  So, remember, a song is being played, and we each have a note to play in this life.  Are we out of tune?  Are we on rhythm?  Has the noise of information changed the structure of our brain’s limbic system, and invaded our prefrontal cortex, causing decisions to be made that are detrimental to our very being? The beauty of our brains is found in just how plastic each of our brains are.  The plasticity of our brains is essentially how we change our behavior.  We are created to learn.  Our minds are vast in scope and have only the limits we allow to focus on. I sincerely hope there is something you can take from this episode and implement into your life.  I’m Dr. Octavious Bishop, and I thank you so much for joining the From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks podcast.]

Ep. 2 Building Lifelines with Relational Equity

EP. 2 BUILDING LIFELINES WITH RELATIONAL EQUITY Hello!! I’m Dr. Bishop, and thank you for joining on the, “From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks” podcast. Poor communication, or a lack of communication is at the core of the discord we face today. Our limbic systems, the emotional regulator, and manager of our brains have been high jacked by poor communication. It is no secret that communication is difficult for most people, from time to time during our lives. Misunderstanding becomes the outcome of communication issues. When we are misunderstood, we either retreat in silence, become defensive, or in most cases surround ourselves with voices, belief systems, and in some cases connect with those whom as superficial as it sounds, look like us. This makes total sense to me. It is exhausting to work through different communication challenges with our families, friends, colleagues at work, simply driving in traffic, posting, and responding on social media, or with strangers who oppose our perception of the world we are so blessed to live in. Communication is hard, and there are no two brains alike. Our minds can be compared to a blank white canvas that never ends, and we have been blessed by God with paint brushes, that fit every crease in our hands. The colors of the paint were chosen specifically for each of us. This is a blessing but poses a problem to those trying to understand the flow, rhythm, and art of communication. Communication is a metacontextual process, meaning that, understanding the context of a conversation is crucial, for communication. It’s important to consider the cultural and situational aspects that impact how we communicate and adjust our message accordingly. This includes using language, tone and body language while also being aware of the norms and expectations in communication settings. By practicing communication, we can enhance our interactions, with others and make them more meaningful. Today we will assess relational equity with a focus on our faith, our families, and interpersonally. The significance of this topic is to avoid taking any political stance on specific topics, or what we each deem to be our “truth.” But, to hopefully help us all gauge our emotions, and practice bridging our discourse, to allow for more true, authentic, and genuine dialogue in these most difficult times. Relational Equity and Faith The Bible doesn’t mention “equity” explicitly. It offers advice, on building and nurturing positive connections, with people. It stresses the significance of showing love, respect, fairness, and honesty towards others. Matthew 7:12 (NIV): “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” As a Christian I sin daily. Addressing our character defects has been, and at times becomes exhausting. Following the teaching of Christ in my own life is a humbling, and intimate journey. See, intimacy breeds temporary instability. It is the instability of my character that draws me to the grace and love of Jesus Christ. The relational equity that Jesus expressed in his teachings all the way to his death on the cross, provides us with a model of relational equity that is so needed regarding the political, and societal challenges we face in 2024. When our relationships are merely transactional, our focus is the transaction, and lose the purpose of our faith journey. This leads to the local church falling into the trap of competition, rather than collaboration. Envy, jealously, and gossip intrudes on the hardwiring of our brains, leaving us the inability to partner and join in unity to expand the message and teaching of Jesus Christ. I dream of churches tackling the ills of our society. What if we could come together from every denomination and commit to ending homeless in our cites? This would be amazing! This would require relational equity amongst the churches. Some churches have more money than others. Some churches have more talent. Some churches are in better locations than others to address specific issues. See, we have allowed our brains to become hardwired by the business plan of the church, rather than expanding the unlimited colors and paint brushes God has given us. Our minds. To close the gap between our superficial nature and begin to nurture the blessing of connectedness amongst Christians we must become deliberate, and intentional about cultivating relational equity within faith communities. Relational Equity and Family There are some many wounds that have turned to scars and into beauty marks in my life that I pinch myself from time to time. I must admit that the wounds from my past can be summed with the question so many of us who may not have received the affirmation from our childhood we feel we should have received. Well, feelings are fickle. Meaning they change with the wind. I am thankful for every challenge I had growing up today. This has not always been the case, but I cannot deny that I live a beautiful life despite the challenges of my early life. I know today that my mother with all of her challenges loved and believed in me. Though there was a 25-year gap being in the presence of my father, today our relationship could not be better. I am witnessing the relational equity between him and his wife who is recovering from a stroke, and it is beautiful to witness the depths of his love and care for her. My mother is my biggest fan and dare you to say anything about me to her. Life is interesting, and I am so blessed to have both my parents alive and well. I have made a choice to embrace relational equity as they age, and I am the beneficiary of their love at 48 years old. I went to consult with a really good mentor and friend of mine, about my challenges as a husband and father. I begin verbally expressing all my challenges, fears, and concerns about raising my kids in a privileged community, much different than how I was raised. After I had spoken and got everything out, he looked at me and simply said, “no one in your home grew up in your circumstances, or situation. It’s wrong for us place expectations on your family, knowing they will never have your experience.” This was the beginning of my journey educating myself about the importance of cultivating relational equity in my home. We must understand that marriage, parenting, and supporting family members is never a fifty, fifty split. See, each person brings one hundred percent of what themselves to the family table, but what we each bring depending on the season we are in may seem proportionally different. We are who are based on how our lives defined through our family first, and then live life begins. To give relational equity to people outside of our homes, before practicing relational equity inside our homes will ultimately lead to resentment. Resentment comes when grace is not a fundamental principle of spouses, relationship between parent and child, and amongst siblings. Relational Equity Interpersonally In relationships, relational fairness involves maintaining a sense of equality and harmony. It’s about treating everyone involved with respect, trust and fairness while ensuring that power and resources are shared fairly. There must be an understanding that everyone no matter their circumstances share power, preference, and privilege at some level in multiple aspects of their lives. For example, wealth does not always produce a sustained since of happiness. I love hearing the stories of old-timers who grew up poor but express how they never knew they were poor because they were some happy and loved during their younger years. Here are three keyways to promote relational equity in relationships. 1. Mutual Respect; Show kindness and consideration to others of their differing views, backgrounds, or identities. Value the attributes and contributions of each person creating an inclusive and welcoming atmosphere. 2. Respecting Boundaries; Honor boundaries. Establish your own boundaries clearly. Respect the limits and preferences of others while also communicating your boundaries respectfully. 3. Conflict Resolution; Handle conflicts in an manner. Strive to comprehend the underlying issues and emotions of all parties. Aim for a resolution that benefits everyone involved by considering their needs and viewpoints. Nurturing fairness in relationships requires dedication, empathy well as a commitment, to justice and equilibrium. By giving importance to these principles individuals can nurture relationships based on trust, respect, and mutual comprehension. Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing-oriented” society to a “person-oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.” I sincerely, thank you for joining the “From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks Podcast.” Download File [https://traffic.libsyn.com/cdogg/S01E01_-_Building_Lifelines_with_Relational.mp3]

Ep. 1 Introduction

Ep. 1 Introduction Hello!! I’m Dr. Bishop, and thank you for joining on the, “From Wounds to Scars to Beauty Marks” podcast. This is the first episode of what I hope will be an impactful show. My goal is to be a bucket of goodness and positivity in an ocean of negative and confusing information. Thank you for joining me in this journey and sharing what you find useful so that together we can stand up against the torrent. Download file [https://traffic.libsyn.com/cdogg/S01E01_-_Introduction.mp3]