Halva for the Heart: Dying and Grieving in Diaspora

When Grief Becomes Song with Elaheh Roya: The Healing Power of Sound for Iranian Grief

In this episode of Halva for the Heart: Dying & Grieving in Diaspora, I'm joined by Iranian vocalist, sound practitioner, and grief alchemist Elaheh Roya for a deeply moving conversation about inherited grief, migration, family history, and the ways sound can carry us through what words cannot. Elaheh shares the story of growing up in Iran, discovering her family's hidden history of political imprisonment and execution, immigrating to the United States as a child, and living with the quiet ache of separation, exile, and ancestral grief. Together we explore what it means to inherit grief before we have language for it, how the body remembers what families cannot always speak aloud, and how creative practice can become a pathway toward healing. After the death of her father in 2024, Elaheh found herself returning to her voice, not to perform, but to grieve. Through chanting, Persian song, and the simple drone of the Shruti box, she discovered a form of sound practice that transformed both her relationship to grief and her understanding of spirituality. We also talk about: * growing up with inherited political trauma * immigration, belonging, and diaspora grief * caring for a parent with dementia * surrender as a grief practice * dreams, death, and spiritual awakening * why sound can reach places that language cannot At the end of the episode, you'll hear Elaheh's beautiful rendition of the beloved Persian classic "Gol-e Sangam [https://open.spotify.com/track/0D7sXzlAGUyI0Dx724WKCo?si=115fc16ac08f4fee]" that she released as a single earlier this year. Her latest album Grief Alchemy [https://elahehroya.bandcamp.com/album/grief-alchemy] comes out June 30th. Connect with Elaheh * Linktree [https://linktr.ee/elahehroya] (offerings and events) * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/medicinechants/]: @medicinechants * TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@elahehroya/]: @elahehroya * Bandcamp [https://elahehroya.bandcamp.com] (download her music) 🎁 Gift for Halva for the Heart listeners The first three listeners to reach out through Elaheh's Linktree can receive a free 20-minute one-on-one Grief Alchemy session via Zoom 🎶 Album Listening Ceremony Join Elaheh's virtual listening ceremony on June 30 at 4:00 PM PT, where the full album will be played together online. Details are available on her Bandcamp [https://elahehroya.bandcamp.com/album/grief-alchemy]. Resources shared by Elaheh: * Tree Carr [https://www.instagram.com/tree_carr/]:  Dream teacher and death doula whose work has deeply influenced Elaheh's path * Christine [https://www.instagram.com/mysticchristine/]: Coach who supported Elaheh in building the foundation of her offerings * Dance of the Blossoms [https://www.sustainlv.org/focus-on/dance-of-the-blossoms/]: Elaheh's essay reflecting on her mother's experiences as a political prisoner * Missing Mum [https://www.maktaba.online/en/missing-mum.html]: A memoir by Elaheh's brother, translated into English by Elaheh, sharing his experience as a child while their mother was imprisoned If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... * Leave me a 90 second voice note [https://voicenote.hafezdeathcare.com/] * Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hafez.death.care] * Send me an email Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com [https://www.hafezdeathcare.com/] Subscribe to my weekly newsletter [https://newsletter.hafezdeathcare.com/] 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

The Grief of Displacement with Uma Girish: Mourning Home, Family, and Belonging

In this episode of Halva for the Heart: Dying and Grieving in Diaspora, I sit down with grief companion, author, and Human Design guide Uma Girish to explore the intertwined losses of death, migration, home, and belonging. Born and raised in India and now living in the United States, Uma shares the story of her mother's death shortly after her immigration to the U.S., and the profound loneliness of grieving far from home, family, and the cultural rituals that once held her. Together, we explore how South Asian traditions make space for grief through community and ritual, what those in diaspora lose when they are unable to return home for a loved one's death, and how maintaining relationships with the dead can help us navigate loss. Uma reflects on the unexpected lessons she learned while working in a retirement community, where she discovered that grief is not limited to death. Through stories of displacement, aging, and leaving behind beloved homes, she came to understand grief as a universal human experience. In this episode, we also discuss: * South Asian grief rituals and the first year after a death * The grief of immigration and losing connection to home * Building altars for loved ones and ancestors * How grief can become a path toward purpose and service * The importance of skilled facilitation in grief circles and community spaces Throughout the conversation, Uma offers gentle wisdom for anyone navigating loss, reminding us that we do not need to grieve perfectly—we only need to give ourselves what we need most. Connect with Uma Girish * Website: www.umagirish.com [https://www.umagirish.com/] * Podcast: Being Fully Me [https://umagirish.com/podcast-page/] * Substack: Light After Loss [https://umagirish.substack.com/] * Book: Losing Amma, Finding Home [https://umagirish.com/books/] Also mentioned in this episode: * Holly Truhlar [https://hollytruhlar.com/] A Gift for Listeners The first two listeners to email Uma after listening to this episode will receive a free gift. Listen to the end of the episode to learn what what she's generously offering, then contact Uma through email If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... * Leave me a 90 second voice note [https://voicenote.hafezdeathcare.com/] * Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hafez.death.care] * Send me an email Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com [https://www.hafezdeathcare.com/] Subscribe to my weekly newsletter [https://newsletter.hafezdeathcare.com/] 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

Returning to Iran: Mixed Identity, Belonging, and Diaspora Experience with artist Roxanne Cassehgari

In this episode, I sit down with Roxanne Cassehgari [https://www.roxanecassehgari.com/], a writer, photographer, and artist documenting the Iranian diaspora. We talk about growing up Iranian outside of Iran, navigating mixed identity, and the complicated relationship to a homeland you may not fully know but deeply long for. Roxanne shares about returning to Iran and how it reshaped her understanding of belonging, language, and self. We explore language loss, cultural disconnection, and the feeling of not being “enough,” alongside her work documenting diaspora stories through interviews and photography. From everyday objects to food and ritual, we reflect on how Iran continues to live within people across distance and generations. We also touch on the tensions between diaspora and homeland perspectives, and how migration, assimilation, and politics shape these experiences. This is a conversation about exile, memory, and the many ways people try to return. About Roxanne Roxane Cassehgari is an artist and photographer born in France to an Iranian father and Colombian mother. Alongside her artistic practice, she is a human rights lawyer and researcher. While law and research allow her to articulate questions about our world, photography is a space of freedom, a more intuitive terrain where she can explore what words cannot capture.   Her work explores diasporic memory, emotions linked to exile, and the transmission—or loss—of culture. Through a sensitive and personal approach, she also seeks to reflect on our relationship with the land: as our origin, our heritage, but also as a place where we root ourselves within the living world. In this episode, we explore... * Growing up Iranian in the diaspora * Returning to Iran after living abroad * Mixed identity and cultural belonging * Language loss and reclaiming Farsi * The emotional impact of exile and disconnection * Iranian diaspora identity across different countries * The tension between diaspora and homeland perspectives * How art and storytelling preserve cultural memory * Everyday ways people stay connected to Iran (food, objects, ritual) Mentioned in this episode: 📕 Roxanne's project Le Retour (The Return) [https://www.roxanecassehgari.com/projects/project-one-f5w4d-z9nem-s3jda-eyssk-a6prr-4ep4b] 🏝️ Roxanne's project Exile is an Island [https://www.roxanecassehgari.com/projects/project-one-f5w4d-z9nem-s3jda-eyssk-a6prr-4ep4b-w33zy] 🎧 Halva for the Heart episode [https://pod.link/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc3ByZWFrZXIuY29tL3Nob3cvNjU5NTUzOC9lcGlzb2Rlcy9mZWVk/episode/aHR0cHM6Ly9hcGkuc3ByZWFrZXIuY29tL2VwaXNvZGUvNjcxODYxOTM] with Afghan author and activist Mina Sharif 📚 Your War Our Lives [https://minasharif.com/book] by Mina Sharif 📚 The Lion Women of Tehran [https://marjankamali.com/books/the-lion-women-of-tehran/] by Marjan Kamali Connect with Roxanne 📸 Follow Roxanne on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/roxaneksgri/] 📥 Submit your story [https://www.dropbox.com/request/trzei3If5l1ciaoHHV5m] to Roxanne’s project Exile is an Island If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... * Leave me a 90 second voice note [https://voicenote.hafezdeathcare.com/] * Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hafez.death.care] * Send me an email Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com [https://www.hafezdeathcare.com/] Subscribe to my weekly newsletter [https://newsletter.hafezdeathcare.com/] 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

Farvardingan: The Iranian Holiday of Honoring the Dead and Connecting with Ancestors

In this episode of Halva for the Heart [https://hafezdeathcare.com/podcast], I explore Farvardingan [http://farvardinganguidebook.hafezdeathcare.com/], the ancient Iranian holiday when the fravashis (spirits of the departed) return to visit the living. This year, Farvardingan takes on profound significance as we grapple with unprecedented levels of loss: from war on Iran and regime violence to the ongoing genocide in Palestine and personal grief. I discuss how Farvardingan becomes an act of resistance in a world that gives us almost no space to grieve, and expand our understanding of ancestry beyond blood to include the many lineages that shape and sustain us. In this episode, I reflect on: - Memory as active care, not something to "move on" from - Continuity between the living and the dead - Farvardingan as a support for us during this time of war - Ways to stay connected ancestors - Different types of ancestry beyond blood lineage (as taught to me by my teacher Holly Truhlar) Resources Mentioned 🔗 Holly Truhlar's Idea of Soul Lineage [https://www.instagram.com/p/DBzG2mvv1kG/] - Explore ancestral connections and soul lineage work 🎵 Dard-e Del Playlist [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6S5TUaxj9iQ6KN5OnVLfft?si=e1f10904547a417b] - Curated music for grief and ancestral connection 📖 Farvardingan Guidebook [http://farvardinganguidebook.hafezdeathcare.com/] - Deep dive into practices, rituals, and reflections for honoring the dead If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... * Leave me a 90 second voice note [https://voicenote.hafezdeathcare.com/] * Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hafez.death.care] * Send me an email Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com [https://www.hafezdeathcare.com/] Subscribe to my weekly newsletter [https://newsletter.hafezdeathcare.com/] 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

A Meditation for Nowruz in Times of War: For Iranians in Diaspora Whose Hearts Ache for Iran

In this special episode of Halva for the Heart, I share a recorded Nowruz meditation for those of us in the Iranian diaspora who are holding the question so many of us are sitting with this year as we watch our homeland be harmed by bombs: Do we celebrate Nowruz? This meditation doesn't offer an easy answer. Instead, it invites us into the deeper purpose of our ancestral rituals, not as performances of joy, but as living technologies of transformation, continuity, and survival. This meditation moves through two ancient practices: Chaharshanbe Soori, the pre-New Year fire ritual, where we offer our exhaustion (zardi) to the flame and receive its red aliveness (sorkhi) in return, not just for ourselves, but on behalf of all those inside Iran carrying fear and uncertainty. And the haftseen sofreh, reimagined as a place to both ask for what we need, and a place to send love, strength, protection, and hope toward Iran. This meditation was created for Iranians in diaspora who are grieving, exhausted, and unsure how to mark a new year that arrives whether we are ready or not. If you are not Iranian, you are welcome to sit with us in solidarity. There is no single right way to do Nowruz this year. Maybe this meditation is all that you do to honor the holiday. And that's okay. That is enough. *This meditation was first offered during a live Dard-e Del session [https://hafezdeathcare.com/dardedel]. If you're a fellow Iranian in diaspora and are looking for community spaces to hold your grief with others like you, please join us in Dard-e Del [https://hafezdeathcare.com/dardedel]. We meet on zoom 3 times a month to support one another. If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... * Leave me a 90 second voice note [https://voicenote.hafezdeathcare.com/] * Message me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hafez.death.care] * Send me an email Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com [https://www.hafezdeathcare.com/] Subscribe to my weekly newsletter [https://newsletter.hafezdeathcare.com/] 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân