Why "Just Allow" Isn't Working

Why "Just Allow" Isn't Working

One of the most common pieces of advice in the mind-body healing world is: "Just allow the sensation." But what if allowing feels impossible? What if a large part of you is screaming that this isn't okay, that you want the symptoms to stop, and that you wish things were different? In this episode, I'm sharing why allowing symptoms often feels so difficult and the missing piece I see over and over again with my clients. The answer isn't forcing acceptance. The answer isn't convincing yourself you're okay. The answer isn't suppressing the part of you that hates what's happening. It's facilitating grief. In this episode, I discuss: * Why "just allow" can feel impossible * The hidden grief that often exists beneath chronic symptoms * Why suppressing your frustration, sadness, and anger creates more internal struggle * How grief helps us stop fighting reality * The relationship between grief, agency, and nervous system safety * Why allowing the grieving part of you often makes allowing sensations possible * How grief can become a powerful facilitator of healing If you've been trying to force yourself into acceptance and it isn't working, this episode is for you. Remember, healing is possible for you. You've got this.  Rooting for you, Always 💜 Connect with Rachel:  Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening again this summer) Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] Book A Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

How to Keep Going When Healing Takes Longer Than You Want (with Sarah)

What do you do when healing is taking longer than you want? When you're doing the work, showing up consistently, making progress... and you're still not where you want to be yet? In today's episode, I'm joined by my client Sarah, who shares her experience healing her chronic pelvic pain through a mind-body approach. Sarah lived with pelvic pain for over 20 years. Along the way, she received multiple diagnoses, tried countless treatments, was prescribed medications, and was even told she should consider a hysterectomy. When she found this work, she wasn't looking for just another treatment. She was looking for a different way to move forward not only in her healing, but in her life.  In this conversation, Sarah shares what has helped her stay in the process, continue expanding her life, and keep moving forward even when healing hasn't happened on the timeline she would have preferred. We discuss: * Sarah's 20-year journey with chronic pelvic pain * Why she decided not to move forward with a recommended hysterectomy * What initially resonated with a mind-body approach * The challenge of letting go of timelines, control, and perfectionism * Why tracking small wins became such an important part of her recovery * How she gradually returned to biking, swimming, exercise, and other activities she had stopped doing because of symptoms * Building genuine self-compassion and learning to support herself through fear * What she's still working through today * The mindset shifts that helped her stay committed to the process One of my favorite parts of this conversation is that Sarah isn't sharing from the finish line. She's sharing from the middle. She's still healing. She's still learning. She's still working through challenges. And she's also living a bigger, fuller life than she was when she started. If healing is taking longer than you want, I hope Sarah's story reminds you that progress is still progress. Sometimes the most important work isn't learning how to heal faster. It's learning how to keep going. Connect with Rachel:  Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening again this summer) Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] Book A Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Sex, Intimacy, and Chronic Pelvic Pain: The Conversation We Need to Have (with Vanessa Blackstone)

Let's talk about the part of chronic pelvic pain that doesn't get discussed nearly enough. Sex. Intimacy. Navigating Relationships. The fear that your partner might leave. The pressure to push through discomfort. In this episode, I'm joined by my friend and colleague Vanessa Blackstone, Executive Director of the Pain Psychology Center, for an honest and nuanced conversation about sex, intimacy, chronic pelvic pain, and healing. Together, we explore the ways shame, cultural conditioning, people-pleasing, and nervous system patterns can shape our relationship with sex and our bodies. We also explore: • Why conversations about sex are often missing from the chronic pain and mind-body healing space • The cultural messages many women receive about sex, pleasure, and their bodies • How people-pleasing and perfectionism can impact intimacy • Why creating safety with yourself matters before creating safety with a partner • Dating and navigating intimacy while living with chronic pelvic pain • Rebuilding trust with your body after years of symptoms This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt disconnected from their body, afraid of intimacy, or unsure how to move forward when pain has impacted their relationship with sex. You are not broken. You are not alone. And there is another way forward. Connect with Vanessa: Instagram: @that.therapist [https://www.instagram.com/that.therapist/] PRT Workbook [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1648483763?ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ&ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ&social_share=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ] Vanessa’s Substack: https://substack.com/@vanessablackstone [https://substack.com/@vanessablackstone] Connect with Rachel:  IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] Book A Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening again this summer) Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

How To Trust Yourself (with Anna Holtzman)

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and colleague, Anna Holtzman, for a conversation about self-trust, visibility, nervous system healing, and what happens after symptoms stop being the center of your life. We talk about the often-overlooked phase of healing where life starts opening back up again… and how terrifying that can feel when your nervous system has learned to associate visibility, expansion, creativity, and authenticity with danger. Together, we explore: *  Why healing often involves shrinking your world before expanding it again *  The fear of nervous system “repercussions” when you start taking up more space *  How perfectionism, people pleasing, and over-self-reliance disconnect us from ourselves *  The difference between regret and grief *  Why self-trust doesn’t mean certainty *  The role of co-regulation and safe relationships in healing *  The transition from borrowing belief to learning to self-source safety and trust *  Why “getting the right tool” can eventually become another protective strategy *  How to begin repairing your relationship with yourself This episode is for anyone who feels stuck between wanting more for their life and feeling terrified to fully step into it. About Anna: Anna Holtzman is a licensed therapist and coach who helps high-achieving women move through the fear of visibility and emerge into a truer expression of their work and identity. After 15 years in TV and publishing, Anna experienced firsthand how burnout, chronic pain, and repeated self-silencing can arise when success is driven by pressure rather than self-trust. Her own healing led her to nervous-system-informed tools that helped her reconnect with her voice and show up more honestly in her work. Now she supports other women in doing the same, melting through imposter syndrome, bringing their most authentic visions to life, and allowing themselves to be seen without performing. She lives in Queens with her husband, stepdaughter, and three orange cats, and hosts the podcast How to Trust Yourself. Connect with Anna: *  Website: AnnaHoltzman.com [http://annaholtzman.com] *  Free workshop: Let Yourself Be Seen [https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen] *  Instagram: @anna_holtzman [https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] *  Podcast: How to Trust Yourself [https://open.spotify.com/show/2q1kkDjEiJtBlbh6AzJj8s?kuid=8abaf1ee-0491-4a2c-99ad-969292a662e6-1779372969&kref=ycuNFnhQ2RoQ] * Anna’s Email: Anna@annaholtzman.com Connect with Rachel:  * IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] * Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] * Get on the waitlist for a Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] * Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening early summer)  Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Client Story: Shawna's IC symptoms had her frozen in fear. Now she's training for a ballroom competition.

Shawna spent nearly three years doing everything right. She saw the specialists. She did the rounds of antibiotics (eight of them). She cut out every food on the IC list and tracked her symptoms by the hour. She had a compassionate pelvic PT in her corner. She had done everything she was supposed to do. But she was still having debilitating symptoms. And she was still terrified. Her healthcare providers were doing their absolute best, but they were running out of new ways to help her. So her pelvic PT referred her to me. Now, Shawna is training for her next ballroom competition in August. She took three international trips in three months. She is setting boundaries, speaking up for herself, and she often forgets she ever had symptoms at all. In this episode, Shawna shares her full story. The diagnosis that changed how she thought about her body. The way dance, her biggest passion, became her biggest trigger. The loneliness of living with symptoms that the people in your life can never understand. And how she got to where she is now, living her life beyond chronic pelvic pain. I am so grateful to Shawna for being willing to share her story so openly and honestly. It takes courage, and I know it's going to mean so much to the people listening. We talk about: * Her diagnosis of interstitial cystitis  * Why dance became a trigger, and what was actually happening in her nervous system * The hypervigilance spiral: tracking, dietary restriction, and what all of it was really doing to her system * What made her open to mind-body work when so many people resist it * The specific tools that helped most, including EFT tapping, visualization, and parts work * What it feels like to say "I like who I am" and actually mean it * Where her symptoms are now, and how she thinks about flare-ups differently If you've been told your pain is something you just have to live with, this episode is for you. Resources & Links: * Follow me on Instagram: @thepelvicpaincoach [https://instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach] * Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan (download): https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] * Get on the waitlist for a Pelvic Pain Strategy Session: https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] * Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain (doors opening early summer): https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.