Sex, Intimacy, and Chronic Pelvic Pain: The Conversation We Need to Have (with Vanessa Blackstone)

Sex, Intimacy, and Chronic Pelvic Pain: The Conversation We Need to Have (with Vanessa Blackstone)

Let's talk about the part of chronic pelvic pain that doesn't get discussed nearly enough. Sex. Intimacy. Navigating Relationships. The fear that your partner might leave. The pressure to push through discomfort. In this episode, I'm joined by my friend and colleague Vanessa Blackstone, Executive Director of the Pain Psychology Center, for an honest and nuanced conversation about sex, intimacy, chronic pelvic pain, and healing. Together, we explore the ways shame, cultural conditioning, people-pleasing, and nervous system patterns can shape our relationship with sex and our bodies. We also explore: • Why conversations about sex are often missing from the chronic pain and mind-body healing space • The cultural messages many women receive about sex, pleasure, and their bodies • How people-pleasing and perfectionism can impact intimacy • Why creating safety with yourself matters before creating safety with a partner • Dating and navigating intimacy while living with chronic pelvic pain • Rebuilding trust with your body after years of symptoms This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt disconnected from their body, afraid of intimacy, or unsure how to move forward when pain has impacted their relationship with sex. You are not broken. You are not alone. And there is another way forward. Connect with Vanessa: Instagram: @that.therapist [https://www.instagram.com/that.therapist/] PRT Workbook [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1648483763?ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ&ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ&social_share=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_3T13Q7K3TJ9CJZA54VMZ] Vanessa’s Substack: https://substack.com/@vanessablackstone [https://substack.com/@vanessablackstone] Connect with Rachel:  IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] Book A Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening again this summer) Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

How To Trust Yourself (with Anna Holtzman)

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and colleague, Anna Holtzman, for a conversation about self-trust, visibility, nervous system healing, and what happens after symptoms stop being the center of your life. We talk about the often-overlooked phase of healing where life starts opening back up again… and how terrifying that can feel when your nervous system has learned to associate visibility, expansion, creativity, and authenticity with danger. Together, we explore: *  Why healing often involves shrinking your world before expanding it again *  The fear of nervous system “repercussions” when you start taking up more space *  How perfectionism, people pleasing, and over-self-reliance disconnect us from ourselves *  The difference between regret and grief *  Why self-trust doesn’t mean certainty *  The role of co-regulation and safe relationships in healing *  The transition from borrowing belief to learning to self-source safety and trust *  Why “getting the right tool” can eventually become another protective strategy *  How to begin repairing your relationship with yourself This episode is for anyone who feels stuck between wanting more for their life and feeling terrified to fully step into it. About Anna: Anna Holtzman is a licensed therapist and coach who helps high-achieving women move through the fear of visibility and emerge into a truer expression of their work and identity. After 15 years in TV and publishing, Anna experienced firsthand how burnout, chronic pain, and repeated self-silencing can arise when success is driven by pressure rather than self-trust. Her own healing led her to nervous-system-informed tools that helped her reconnect with her voice and show up more honestly in her work. Now she supports other women in doing the same, melting through imposter syndrome, bringing their most authentic visions to life, and allowing themselves to be seen without performing. She lives in Queens with her husband, stepdaughter, and three orange cats, and hosts the podcast How to Trust Yourself. Connect with Anna: *  Website: AnnaHoltzman.com [http://annaholtzman.com] *  Free workshop: Let Yourself Be Seen [https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen] *  Instagram: @anna_holtzman [https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] *  Podcast: How to Trust Yourself [https://open.spotify.com/show/2q1kkDjEiJtBlbh6AzJj8s?kuid=8abaf1ee-0491-4a2c-99ad-969292a662e6-1779372969&kref=ycuNFnhQ2RoQ] * Anna’s Email: Anna@annaholtzman.com Connect with Rachel:  * IG: thepelvicpaincoach [https://www.instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach/] * Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] * Get on the waitlist for a Pelvic Pain Strategy Session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] * Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pai [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program]n (doors opening early summer)  Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Client Story: Shawna's IC symptoms had her frozen in fear. Now she's training for a ballroom competition.

Shawna spent nearly three years doing everything right. She saw the specialists. She did the rounds of antibiotics (eight of them). She cut out every food on the IC list and tracked her symptoms by the hour. She had a compassionate pelvic PT in her corner. She had done everything she was supposed to do. But she was still having debilitating symptoms. And she was still terrified. Her healthcare providers were doing their absolute best, but they were running out of new ways to help her. So her pelvic PT referred her to me. Now, Shawna is training for her next ballroom competition in August. She took three international trips in three months. She is setting boundaries, speaking up for herself, and she often forgets she ever had symptoms at all. In this episode, Shawna shares her full story. The diagnosis that changed how she thought about her body. The way dance, her biggest passion, became her biggest trigger. The loneliness of living with symptoms that the people in your life can never understand. And how she got to where she is now, living her life beyond chronic pelvic pain. I am so grateful to Shawna for being willing to share her story so openly and honestly. It takes courage, and I know it's going to mean so much to the people listening. We talk about: * Her diagnosis of interstitial cystitis  * Why dance became a trigger, and what was actually happening in her nervous system * The hypervigilance spiral: tracking, dietary restriction, and what all of it was really doing to her system * What made her open to mind-body work when so many people resist it * The specific tools that helped most, including EFT tapping, visualization, and parts work * What it feels like to say "I like who I am" and actually mean it * Where her symptoms are now, and how she thinks about flare-ups differently If you've been told your pain is something you just have to live with, this episode is for you. Resources & Links: * Follow me on Instagram: @thepelvicpaincoach [https://instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach] * Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan (download): https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] * Get on the waitlist for a Pelvic Pain Strategy Session: https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/strategy-session] * Get on the waitlist for Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain (doors opening early summer): https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Your Future Self (Part 2): The Practice

Last week I talked about the concept. This week, I'm giving you the practice. The Future Self Visualization is a guided imagery practice that up until now has only lived inside my program, Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain. It was a big part of my own healing. I listened to some version of this almost every single day for years. Until I healed. Until I became my future self. In this episode: * Why your brain might resist this (and what to do with that resistance) * The full guided Future Self Visualization * How to take that energy into your actual day * The one question to ask yourself when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like it's not working Before you press play: find somewhere safe to sit or lie down where you won't be disturbed. You'll want to close your eyes for part of this. Ready to stop just visualizing your future self and start becoming her? That’s what I help you do inside Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain. Doors Close TONIGHT 5/1 at midnight. When doors reopen at the end of June, the price goes up. [Learn More + Join BCPP] [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program] Resources & Links: Follow me on Instagram:⁠ @thepelvicpaincoach⁠ [https://instagram.com/thepelvicpaincoach] Get Your Free Pain Flare Plan (download):  ⁠https://thepelvicpaincoach/painflareplan⁠ [https://thepelvicpaincoach.myflodesk.com/painflareplan] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Connecting with Your Future Self (and Becoming Her)

There's a version of you who has already healed. Who feels safe in her body. Whose life is no longer consumed by pain.  Who is living the life you've been dreaming of. And, she's closer than you think. In this podcast episode, I discuss practice that changed everything for me in my own healing: connecting with your future self. Not as a theoretical concept. As a decision-making tool. Because when you're in pain, everything narrows down to: how do I feel better right now? And that urgency keeps you stuck in the same patterns that created the pain in the first place. What shifted things for me the most was learning to ask a different question: If I knew I was going to get there... what would I do right now? In this episode, I walk you through how to actually start thinking and making decisions from that place. And I share a deeply personal moment where this practice carried me through one of the hardest days of my healing journey. Want support applying this work? If you’re ready to stop doing this alone and actually start becoming her, I’d love to support you inside Beyond Chronic Pelvic Pain. [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program] This is your last opportunity to join at $847. Doors close May 1st. When we reopen, it will be $1200. 👉 Join the program [https://thepelvicpaincoach.com/healing-program] Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.