clearly becoming

EP 38 - Consistency Creates Clarity

You've been told to get clear, then get consistent. But what if it works the other way around? This week, Erica Somer — marketer, co-founder of HOM, photographer, DJ, and aspiring author — joins Hazel Ann to unpack what it actually means to build momentum before you have a destination. If you're sitting on six passions and zero direction, this one's for you. Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode ft. Erica Somer IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why waiting to "get clear" before starting is the trap keeping you stuck * How consistency works as a mirror — not a goal — and what it reveals about who you're becoming * What friction-maxxing is and why making things harder on purpose actually accelerates identity change * The neuroscience behind identity encoding — why "I am someone who shows up" rewires your brain differently than "I'm trying to" * How to embrace being multihyphenate without feeling like you're betraying any one part of yourself * The embarrassingly small first step for anyone with multiple interests and no clear path QUOTE OF THE EPISODE * "It's not that deep." – Erica Somer TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction — the contradiction at the heart of this episode04:55 Vancouver → Paris → London: what she was chasing and did she find it?09:16 Defining the multihyphenate and building HOM from a dinner party14:15 Consistency as a mirror, not a goal26:14 The best habit she ever built — and how it actually stuck31:11 Friction-maxxing: when ease is the enemy35:56 Identity encoding and the 800-day Duolingo domino effect40:54 For the person with six interests and zero direction48:50 What she's being consistent about with no clear payoff yet50:45 The 11-day challenge + clarity round RESOURCES * Atomic Habits by James Clear — https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Bep-Change/dp/0735211299 [https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Bep-Change/dp/0735211299] * The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X] * Range by David Epstein — https://www.amazon.com/Range-Why-Generalists-Win-Science/dp/0735214484 [https://www.amazon.com/Range-Why-Generalists-Win-Science/dp/0735214484] * What Is Identity Encoding and Why It Works Where Affirmations Don't — [link [https://www.encoded.ai/blog/what-is-identity-encoding]] * Role Models, Motivation and Inspiration — https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-us [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-us] CONNECT WITH ERICA SOMER Instagram: @erica_somer [https://www.instagram.com/erica_somer/#] HOM: @wearehouseofmarketing [https://www.instagram.com/wearehouseofmarketing/]  Substack: @erierierieri This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the word that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 37 – Is loving your work the same as losing yourself?

EP 37 – Is loving your work the same as losing yourself? Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode You've been told Gen Z is lazy. Quiet quitting. Bare minimum Mondays. Disengaged. But what if I told you that Gen Z cares so much, so deeply, about the right work, that they have actually started to lose track of where the work ends and you begin? This episode is about that line. The one between loving what you do and being consumed by it. Between choosing your life and drifting into it while being very, very good at it. We're going there via The Devil Wears Prada (that’s right, Miranda, Andy, Emily) and the neuroscience and psychology that explains why even purpose-driven ambition can become a trap. Especially in your twenties, when the developmental task is to keep exploring who you are — not lock it down. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * The real difference between Miranda Priestly and Emily — and why it's not about work ethic * Why purpose-driven workaholism is harder to spot (it feels righteous) * The dopamine loop behind "one more email", and why Miranda isn't disciplined, she's wired in * What identity foreclosure is, and why your 20s are the highest-risk window for it * The hedonic treadmill: why the reward always moves, and what that means for how you're measuring success How to tell the difference between harmonious passion and obsessive passion, from the inside * Three questions to ask yourself this week: not to work less, but to work with more awareness 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Working hard is not the same as losing yourself. But in your twenties, you have to be awake enough to know the difference." TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Nigel's quote + the question this episode is really asking 01:30 — Miranda, Andy, Emily: three archetypes, one question — which one are you? 03:00 — Gen Z data: 89% purpose-driven, 44% have quit for lack of meaning, 41% tie identity to work 04:30 — The risk isn't working hard. The risk is mistaking intensity for meaning. 05:00 — The dopamine loop: why stimulating work activates the same pathways as compulsive behaviour 06:30 — Identity foreclosure: what Erikson says about committing too early to one identity 08:00 — The hedonic treadmill: each win raises the baseline. You don't arrive. 09:00 — Harmonious vs obsessive passion — and how Miranda crossed from one to the other 10:00 — The Gen Z version of the trap: when your side hustle is your passion, boundaries feel like betrayal 10:30 — Three tests: can you set it down? Who are you without it? Did you choose this? 13:30 — The clarity round + what Hazel Ann is letting go of 14:30 — Clearly becoming… the narrator of my own life RESOURCES * Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556096/]— identity vs role confusion * Harmonious vs Obsessive Passion — Vallerand et al. (2003) [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14561128/] * Deloitte Global Gen Z and Millennial Survey 2025 [https://www.deloitte.com/global/en/issues/work/genz-millennial-survey.html] * Dopamine and Reward Pathways — Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/no-more-fomo/202505/driven-to-excess-the-role-of-dopamine] RELEVANT EPISODES * EP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20s [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRbsJCHmZsE&t=5s] * EP 29 - How to Become Before You Believe It [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAdaxXFWuNI] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 36 – Everything I Wish I Knew Before University

Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode You picked your major at 18. You chose your campus, made your plans, showed up. And somewhere between freshers' week and graduation, you became a completely different person. In this episode, I'm closing my university chapter — and being honest about everything I wish I'd known sooner. The risks I should have taken earlier. The rooms I almost didn't walk into. The version of myself I had to unlearn to actually grow. If you're in it right now (or about to be), this one's for you. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why taking risks in your university application is the move — even when it feels terrifying * The alternative pathways into top universities nobody talks about (transfers, study abroad, and who you know) * Why not knowing what you want at 18 is actually normal — and what to do with that * How to get the most out of university by being intentional, not just present * Why studying abroad and placement years are career clarity accelerators * How your major does not define you — and what actually does * The soft skills, values, and self-awareness that matter more than your GPA 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "You are not behind. You are becoming." TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Closing the university chapter 1:08 — The privilege of education 1:37 — Take more risks — what I wish I'd known 3:53 — Getting your foot in the door 4:37 — Alternative pathways: transfers, study abroad, networking 5:25 — The myth of knowing what you want at 18 6:56 — Your brain at 18 is still developing 7:43 — How to actually make the most of university 9:48 — Connecting with professors and mentors 15:02 — Why studying abroad changed everything 19:01 — Placement years and internships 20:53 — Using university resources before it's too late 23:12 — Your major doesn't define you 27:34 — Effort over speed 30:05 — Facing the fears 32:03 — Unlearning perfectionism 33:51 — Final reflection RELEVANT EPISODES * EP 11 – Learn Faster: The Career Skills No One Teaches You [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHCrV4uSbVc] * EP 15 –  How to Advocate for yourself  [https://youtu.be/rDyPHinnf5Y?si=nSTrlIZdxf1BSV-p] * EP 25 – Mastering the Art of Interviews: How to Interview Without Freezing or Faking It [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13SGB6wyR5M] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 35 – why your team sucks (and what to actually do about it)

You were taught that a good team is a harmonious one. Nobody fights. Nobody pushes back. Everyone gets along. That's not collaboration. That's avoidance — and it's quietly killing your growth. In this episode, Hazel Ann unpacks why conflict isn't the enemy of strong teams — it's the evidence that people actually care. From the real cost of pandemic-era soft skill gaps to the psychology of what makes groups either coast or commit, this episode reframes everything you thought you knew about working with other people. Including yourself. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why the pandemic quietly dismantled a generation's ability to collaborate — and what that means for you right now * How the Belbin Team Roles framework reveals not just how you work, but who you are * Why conflict is a sign of commitment, not dysfunction * The difference between a team that performs and a team that's just performing * What "overcompensating for loafers" is actually costing you * How to lead by example when you have no formal authority * Why self-acceptance isn't soft — it's the foundation of every strong team contribution 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Overcompensating enables loafers. Leading by example changes them." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – The Struggles of Collaboration 02:30 – The Impact of the Pandemic on Soft Skills 07:43 – The Importance of Conflict in Teams 11:41 – The Psychology of Teamwork 16:13 – Strategies for Effective Collaboration 20:40 – The Role of Conflict in Personal Evolution RESOURCES * The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75bO_XWk7fw]  * Managers Don’t Want To Hire Gen-Z Workers, Citing A Lack Of Soft Skills—Survey Says [https://www.forbes.com/sites/lizelting/2024/12/23/managers-dont-want-to-hire-gen-z-workers-citing-a-lack-of-soft-skills-survey-says/] * Neuro-collaboration": The neuroscience of successful collaboration [https://www.wig.co.uk/blogs/neuro-collaboration-the-neuroscience-of-successful-collaboration/#:~:text=Another%20remarkable%20aspect%20of%20neuro,work%20toward%20a%20common%20goal] * Belbin Team Roles    [https://www.belbin.com/about/belbin-team-roles] RELEVANT EPISODES * EP 18 – This Is Why You Feel Stuck (And How to Shift It) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ-r-VZCp2k] * EP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20s [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRbsJCHmZsE&t=1s] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

The Real Reason You Can't Pick a Lane

Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode You've been told to pick one thing. One passion. One path. One version of yourself that makes sense to everyone else. But what if the confusion isn't the problem — what if it's the data? In this episode, Hazel Ann sits down with Ashleigh — PR professional turned freelance journalist, community builder, and someone who figured out that friction isn't the enemy of growth. It's the whole point. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * How to write a pitch that actually gets opened — and responded to * Why self-trust is built through action, not certainty * What friction maxing is and why it might be the most underrated growth strategy for your 20s * How to build a community and network that feels genuine, not transactional * Why curiosity is a career strategy — not just a personality trait 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Growth happens with friction, not with ease." — Ashleigh TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – 00:00 – You can be ambitious and confused at the same time 00:29 – Introducing Ashleigh: from PR to freelance journalism 06:04 – Bridging personal and professional wellness 10:36 – Friction maxing: why discomfort is the strategy 20:39 – Building it without the blueprint RESOURCES * Agenda Setting Theory [https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/communication-and-mass-media/agenda-setting-theory] * The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why by Deborah Tannen [https://hbr.org/1995/09/the-power-of-talk-who-gets-heard-and-why] * Book: Attachment by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attached-Identify-attachment-style-perfect-ebook/dp/B0050CJNJC] RELEVANT EPISODES * Stop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Do this instead  [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ii9C7k8vKq8Iun7FI1Pvi?si=aa645e2ceced47e8] * How to Become Before you Believe it  [https://open.spotify.com/episode/63gebffodR5NF81P63vCVW?si=gssiQo-6SxmcpTz-TbKEPA] LET'S CONNECTThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH ASH * 🎧 Instagram: @ashspili [https://www.instagram.com/ashspili?igsh=MWIwMHlxbzVlZW1qeQ==]  * 🎵 TikTok: @ashleighspili * 🎧 YouTube: @ashspili [https://www.instagram.com/ashspili?igsh=MWIwMHlxbzVlZW1qeQ==]  CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN  * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming Next episode: The science of being a great teammate — what it actually takes to show up for a team and yourself at the same time.