If I Speak

94: Resentment, hostility, scarcity… is this modern dating? w/ Jordan Stephens

Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue! New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

93: I’m addicted to guilt. What’s wrong with me?

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

92: Should we say something about women’s shrinking bodies?

NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better? CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

91: If there’s no ‘ethical consumption’, can just I buy what I want?

Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice [https://dice.fm/event/92x5ro--if-i-speak-livefestive-special-16th-dec-earth-london-tickets]. Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering why men won’t watch ethical porn. CN: The dilemma contains discussion of sexual violence at 35:00. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

90: Are rightwing politics affecting my sex life? w/ Dr Annabel Sowemimo

We’re in Manchester tonight (25 November) with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – final tickets available from Contact Theatre [https://contactmcr.com/events/if-i-speak-live]! Then EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – get tickets from Dice [https://dice.fm/event/92x5ro--if-i-speak-livefestive-special-16th-dec-earth-london-tickets]. This week Moya and Ash talk to Dr Annabel Sowemimo about STI stigma, period-tracking apps, being disconnected from our bodies, and how to afford a second child. Plus: which hospital department has the sexiest staff? Annabel’s book, Divided: Racism, Medicine and Why We Need to Decolonise Healthcare [https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/divided-racism-medicine-and-why-we-need-to-decolonise-healthcare-annabel-sowemimo/6331076], is out now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.