If I Speak

97: When will I start feeling like a grown-up?

Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

96: Why are women choosing looks instead of books?

Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare

Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We Were There [https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/453942/we-were-there-by-bakare-lanre/9781847927477], is out now. Recorded at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25 November 2025. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

94: Resentment, hostility, scarcity… is this modern dating? w/ Jordan Stephens

Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue! New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

93: I’m addicted to guilt. What’s wrong with me?

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.