Funeral Potatoes vs. Long Hots

Funeral Potatoes vs. Long Hots

Joe's parents are floating around the Atlantic on a cruise out of Philly and he's more anxious about it than they probably are (no Wi-Fi, no texts back, just one cryptic message about free food in heaven). Before that, Joe runs down his summer tour dates across the Philly/South Jersey corridor, including a new stop at the Eagle Theatre in Hamilton, NJ. Then Joe and Dan tackle the real question of the episode: what do you feed someone on their first perfect day in your city? Dan puts Utah's funeral potatoes on the table (yes, that's really what they're called, and yes, it involves cornflakes), and Joe fires back with a Philly cheesesteak essential, long hots, the pepper that'll burn your fingers if you forget the gloves. From there they map out the ultimate Philly day: Reading Terminal, the Art Museum, the Rocky steps, and why skipping the museum itself is a rookie mistake. Plus: Joe's dad's questionable 70s mustache and bucket hat phase, his mom's lifelong Engelbert Humperdinck story, listener voicemails on the great transition lenses debate, and a cliffhanger about the mystery award Joe's daughter just won that nobody will tell him about. Chapter Markers 00:00 – Intro 00:45 – Joe's summer tour dates (Medford, Stone Harbor, Hamilton, Pottstown, Chestnut Hill) 01:47 – Joe's parents are on a cruise out of Philly and he's losing it over the radio silence 14:15 – Setting up the ultimate Philly day vs. a day in Utah 15:23 – Funeral potatoes: Utah's answer to comfort food 17:39 – Long hots: the Philly cheesesteak pepper that'll burn your fingers 19:32 – Reading Terminal Market and where to actually get breakfast 23:27 – Rocky steps, the Art Museum, and an underground boxing gym idea 27:58 – Philly/South Jersey things we miss (Clementon Park, Crazy Eddie's, the Spectrum) 31:43 – Utah's Delta Center, stadium walkability, and why old venues hit different 35:41 – When sitcoms recast characters (Cheers, All in the Family, The Jeffersons) 41:05 – Best Philly/South Jersey school lunches: paper bags, sea dogs, nutty buddies 47:12 – Voicemail: the great transition lenses debate 50:07 – Joe's daughter won a mystery eighth grade award and nobody will tell him what it's for 52:42 – Voicemail: Emily wants answers too

The Cons of moving back to Philly, and Why I'm Probably Never Moving Back

Joe just sold out his first intimate venue show in Medford, NJ — and it went sideways in the best possible way. Super fans who knew his social media better than his setlist, a high school ex who showed up for the first time in 40 years with something surprisingly meaningful to say, a legendary Philly broadcaster who doesn't own a cell phone, and a cassette tape Joe handed to a DJ in 1990 that he desperately hopes no one ever heard. Then Joe and producer Dan dig into the real cons of moving back to Philly — the traffic on 76, $21K property taxes, old friends you didn't miss, and the uncomfortable truth that Joe might never actually leave New Jersey. Plus fan voicemails from Jerry and Courtney Rowan, a Saudi Arabia relocation strategy, and Jerry's (partial) original song to close it out. If you want to work with Dan, visit swiftpeakproductions.com to book a free intro call. For tickets to Joe's upcoming shows in Medford, Stone Harbor, and Hamilton, head to joematarese.com.

156 Watches of the Final Fight: Inside Mike Sielski's "Going the Distance"

Joe Matarese sits down with longtime Philadelphia Inquirer sports columnist and author Mike Sielski — who's written books on Kobe Bryant and the history of the dunk — to talk about his new book Going the Distance, out this November, about the making and the myth of Rocky. They get into why Rocky hit Philadelphia the way it did in the mid-'70s, the Steadicam-prototype magic behind the art-museum montage, and Bill Conti's "Going the Distance" as the unofficial anthem of every late-inning Phillies rally. Mike shares what a year and a half of research did to him — including watching the final fight 156 times and getting more emotional with every viewing — and makes the case that Rocky isn't really a sports film at all, but a love story shot through the lens of boxing. Plus: listener voicemails on whether a fictional boxer's statue overshadows Philly's real legends, Mike's road from a disastrous 1981 Eagles Super Bowl party to the Inquirer sports page, his influences (Bill Lyon, Jason Stark), the Dick Allen and Frog Carfagno story, and his one tip for anyone who wants to write better. Hosted by Joe Matarese. Produced by Danny. Follow Mike: @mike.sielskiFollow Joe: @thejoematarese Chapter Markers * 00:00 — Cold open * 01:30 — Who is Mike Sielski + the "Going the Distance" book * 06:34 — Mike joins the show * 06:38 — Joe's "falling out" with Rocky * 09:08 — A year and a half of research (and 156 viewings of the final fight) * 10:11 — Why great films reward rewatching * 1:00:11 — Talia Shire and the making of Adrian * 1:01:44 — Voicemail: fictional heroes vs. real athletes * 1:08:26 — Voicemail: Mike's path into sports journalism * 1:09:02 — The 1981 Eagles party & growing up a Philly fan * 1:11:44 — The Dick Allen & Frog Carfagno story * 1:12:39 — One tip for better writing in a video-first world * 1:17:28 — Rocky as a love story, not a sports film * 1:19:49 — Voicemail: does a fictional statue overshadow real legends?

Can You Survive A Family Trip With 13 People? | Road Back to Philly Ep. 3

On this episode, Joe digs into the big summer question: where do you take a beach vacation when you're rolling 13 people deep? The trip is three families under one roof, his wife and her two sisters, their husbands, two kids each, plus his mother-in-law, with kids ranging from nine years old up to his oldest who just wrapped his first year at the University of Tampa.We get into why these trips are worth the chaos, going all the way back to renting one big house when the kids were little so the cousins could grow up making memories together. There's talk about pricing out shore rentals (one listing came in at $14,500 for the week, five bedrooms, max 12 guests, no pool), and which towns are actually worth it: Wildwood, Avalon, Sea Isle, Cape May, Ocean City, and LBI all get thrown around.It also ties back to the recent Three Friends, One Booth episode with Joe Perry, where the idea of vacationing with other families got a little heat. Underneath all of it is the real reason this podcast exists: figuring out whether the move back to the Philly area actually happens.The back half is all listener voicemails, and they do not hold back. You'll hear from Chris in Ashland, a guy calling in from the PGA Championship, Angelo making the case for the Outer Banks, Jerry from Delco breaking down the Jersey Shore town by town, and comedian Al Caddis from Hawaii. Some great advice, some terrible advice, all worth a listen.Chapter Markers00:00 Intro and the family rundown07:37 The plan: a Jersey Shore trip for 13 people09:20 Why we vacation with the whole family23:39 Letting the kids loose on the boardwalk30:45 Shopping the rental listings38:35 The real question: moving back40:31 Voicemails: three best towns47:52 Chris from Ashland, Mass52:44 Calling in from the PGA Championship55:50 Angelo makes the Outer Banks case58:08 Jerry from Delco breaks down the shore1:05:17 Al Caddis from Hawaii

Ep#2 Bullies, Damone’s, and That One Roided Guy Who Headed Butt Me For No Reason At Franchine’s On A Monday

Joe's back for Episode 2 of Road Back to Philly, and this one goes deep into the two characters that defined growing up in Cherry Hill, NJ — the bully and the Damone. If you don't know what a Damone is, producer Dan didn't either, which tells you everything you need to know about the generational divide between South Jersey in the 80s and Utah in 2026.Joe shares three personal bully stories — a Marine ex-boyfriend, a Billy Zabka lookalike with fingerless gloves, and a roided-up guy who headbutted him at Francine's nightclub for absolutely no reason. Listeners call in with their own stories, including one involving a pencil stabbing, a mom who literally organized a neighborhood fight, and a bully whose father allegedly brought methamphetamine from Germany to Philadelphia after World War II. That one took a turn.On the Damone side, Joe breaks down his real-life version: his friend's older brother Chris, who had Corvettes, gold chains, missed 77 days of senior year, and still graduated. By the end of the episode, Joe lands somewhere honest — Damone never actually had it figured out. Rat got the girl. Be who you are.Also in this episode: Philly sports check-in, a bowling alley fight Joe probably should have walked away from, life advice from a Jewish mob dad, and Dan revealing his own Damone was a guy named Dalian who closed on every girl Danny warmed up.Timestamps0:00 — Intro & Philly sports check-in: Sixers, Flyers, Phillies, and why Joe's wearing an Eagles hat13:59 — Joe introduces the episode theme and explains what a Damone is to a 34-year-old who's never seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High15:13 — Joe's real-life Damone: his friend's older brother Chris, the Corvette, the gold chains, and 77 missed days of school~32:00 — Bully #1: Tracy's Marine ex-boyfriend who followed them on a date, and why Joe grabbed the baseball bat and then just... went inside~40:00 — Bully #2: Danny S., the Billy Zabka lookalike with fingerless driving gloves, and a headlock fight outside Cherry Hill East~48:00 — Bully #3: Dave Triplett, the unprovoked headbutt at Francine's, and a guy who seemed to be at every club every night of the week56:09 — Listener voicemails start. Al Kaz opens with a reunion roast and a wild story about the origins of meth in the United States1:00:15 — Andrew Steiner's bully-turned-Damone-turned-bully-again story1:03:03 — Chris stabs his bully with a pencil. They become friends. Rest in peace, Scotty.1:07:35 — Joe's bowling alley fight, a missed kick to the groin, and the advice a Jewish mob dad gave him afterward1:19:27 — Jerry Rowan took a 45-minute detour for weeks to avoid a bully who didn't even remember him. His Damone explains the numbers game.1:23:30 — Joe wraps it up: Damone didn't have it figured out. Rat got the girl. Don't pretend to be something you're not.