The Seven Desires & Understanding Your Triggers w/ Debbie Laaser

Finding Your Power After Addiction and Trauma: 2026 SAL 12 Step Conference Keynote w/ Amanda Christensen

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice. Apply to become an S.A. Lifeline Ambassador [https://salifeline.org/ambassador/] Understanding Pornography use, Problematic Sexual Behavior and Betrayal Trauma Digital Manual [https://salifeline.org/product/understanding-pornography-use-problematic-sexual-behavior-betrayal-trauma-a-non-denominational-resource-for-faith-leaders/] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Finding Qualified Therapy and Education For Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma Recovery w/ Courtney Weaver

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Jonathan L. interviews LMSW Courtney Weaver about finding quality education and qualified therapy for sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Courtney explains key certifications (CSAT, APSAT, CPTT, C-BIRT), how to choose a therapist based on whether someone is an addict or betrayed partner, and what to ask therapists, including their understanding of pornography’s impact, betrayal trauma, and whether they recognize sex addiction as an addiction; she warns against codependency-based approaches that harm partners. They discuss how therapy and 12-step work can complement each other, when sponsors should defer to therapists (especially for trauma and relationship decisions), and how therapy helps identify underlying belief systems, coping patterns, and childhood roots that often stall progress in recovery work. Courtney outlines best practices for full therapeutic disclosure, recommends research-based resources, and suggests telehealth, podcasts, and community supports while seeking qualified care. See the full list of questions to qualify a therapist HERE. [https://salifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Questions-to-Qualify-a-Therapist-2.pdf]  00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 01:28 Why Therapist Choice Matters 02:06 Decoding the Acronymns 03:24 Picking the Right Therapist For You 04:24 First Therapy Session Questions 06:29 Therapy Modalities Explained 08:53 12 Steps and Therapy Complement Each Other 10:28 Sponsor vs. Therapist Roles 11:57 Surrender and Learning What to Surrender 13:40 Uncovering Trauma  17:17 Full Therapeutic Disclosure Explained 22:00 Finding Quality Education 23:49 SAL and Community Recovery 25:31 Telehealth and Extra Supports 27:04 Closing Encouragement Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

The Seven Desires & Understanding Your Triggers w/ Debbie Laaser

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal.  Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling. Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com. [https://www.faithfulandtrue.com/] 00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup 01:57 Meet Debbie Laser 02:51 Triggers and Trauma 03:42 Why Triggers Hurt 07:14 Perception vs Truth 09:43 Seven Desires Framework 14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example 17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers 21:00 Working Through Triggers Process 27:36 Safe Anger Release 32:08 Needs and Boundaries 36:13 Daily Growth and God 43:42  Final Advice   Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries & Choosing Top Line Recovery w/ Jonathan L

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland speaks with Pathway to Recovery co-host Jonathan L. Jonathan starts by sharing his adolescent internet porn exposure and how curiosity eventually led to  pornography addiction. He shares how his behavior intensified after his mother died when he was 14, and produced shame, compartmentalization, lying. After marriage, he disclosed to his wife, relapsed, hid again, and later experienced suicidal ideation.  This was followed by Divine help that came after a heartfelt prayer. He was soon after introduced to SAL 12-Step and has been working recovery since 2021. Tara and Jonathan define top lines, bottom lines, and boundaries, and discuss creative top-line practices to build trust, raise bottom lines (e.g., removing social media), and emphasize incremental progress, accountability, celebrating wins, and choosing recovery over addiction. 00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 01:14 Podcast Milestones and Listener Shoutout 02:39  03:06 Early Exposure and Addiction Roots 04:41 Loss, Grief, and a Double Life 05:44 Mission, Marriage, and First Disclosure 08:50 Suicidal Ideation and Turning Point 10:35 Recovery Begins - Participating in SAL 12-Step and Therapy 13:35 Compassion for Younger Self 18:27 Defining Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries 21:54   22:44 Turning Alone Time into Trust Building Moments 24:05 Celebrating Progress 25:13  26:35 Sponsor Vision Exercise 27:06 Positive Recovery Mindset - Living by Top Lines 30:02 Weeds vs Flowers Reframe 30:36 Bottom Lines as Guardrails 31:17 Raising Bottom Lines  34:33 Addressing Overwhelm and Striving for 1% Better 37:44 Celebrate Wins Together 40:45 Intentional Recovery Work 42:22 Discipline Over Regret 43:38 Advice for New and the Tired Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Trauma 101: What It Is and How It Affects Both the Betrayed and Betrayer w/ Scott Stolarick

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland interviews psychotherapist Scott Stolarick, who shares how his work in corrections and with  sex offenders led him to recognize trauma as a driver of maladaptive behavior and the need for both accountability and support rather than shame. They discuss common misconceptions about trauma, differences between recent and historical trauma, and how childhood coping strategies can become harmful in adult relationships. Scott emphasizes trauma’s personal nature, the importance of validating first disclosures, building safety and trust, careful history-taking, and thoughtful use of modalities like EMDR with informed consent, concluding with encouragement for those beginning or continuing recovery. 00:00 Conference Invitation 01:40 Meet the Host and Guest 03:49 Scott’s Background 04:43 Seeing Trauma in Sex Offenders 09:44 Myths About Trauma 13:05 Fresh vs Historical Trauma 14:19 Trauma for Addicts vs Partners 17:54 Childhood Maladaptive Coping Skills Brought into Adulthood 21:32 What Counts as Trauma 25:06 Building Resilience 28:33 Why Trauma Awareness Matters 31:17 Healing Order of Operations 35:54 Effective Trauma Modalities 37:25 Closing Advice for Recovery 38:36 Final Thanks and Wrap Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]