#21 - Monique - When Nobody Believed Me: A Story of Cerebral Palsy, Medical Gaslighting and Trusting Yourself

#21 - Monique - When Nobody Believed Me: A Story of Cerebral Palsy, Medical Gaslighting and Trusting Yourself

When Nobody Believed Me: Monique's Story of Cerebral Palsy, Medical Gaslighting and Trusting Yourself This episode contains themes of medical mistreatment and dismissal. If you have experienced something similar, please know that your instincts matter, your voice matters, and resources to support you are listed below. Most of us like to think of ourselves as open minded. Non-judgmental. But what if our judgment isn't something we're aware of — because it lives quietly inside our own experience, our own circumstances? What if we can only see as far as where we have stood? That is where this conversation begins. Today I'm sitting down with Monique. A mother who noticed early on that something wasn't quite right with her child. Who raised her concerns — and wasn't believed. Who kept pushing, kept questioning, kept advocating — until she finally got the answers her child needed. Answers that confirmed her daughter had been born with a mild form of cerebral palsy. But this episode is about so much more than a diagnosis. It is about what happens when the medical system dismisses a mother's instinct. About the mistreatment Monique experienced along the way. About the choices she made — some of which were unconventional, some of which raised eyebrows, and all of which were hers to make. About a woman who questions the world around her, who challenges what doesn't convince her, and who refuses to accept an answer simply because it comes from authority. And it is about what she says, quietly and with great kindness, at the end of it all: my choice is my choice, and your choice is yours. This episode may challenge you. It may make you uncomfortable at moments. But I'd invite you to listen with openness — and with kindness. Because Monique isn't here to convince you of anything. She simply wants to share her story, and to remind us all that there is not only one right way. In this episode we talk about: * Becoming a mother and the early signs that something wasn't quite right * Not being believed by medical professionals — and what that experience felt like * The diagnosis of mild cerebral palsy and the road to getting there * The choices Monique made along the way and the responses she received * Taking matters into her own hands when the system let her down * Questioning authority, doing your own research, and trusting your instincts * What she has learned about herself — as a person and as a mother * Her powerful closing message: my choice is my choice, your choice is yours If you feel you have been dismissed, mistreated, or not listened to by the NHS, here is how to raise a complaint: PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) is a free, confidential service available in most hospitals. They can help you resolve issues informally without needing to make a formal complaint. A great first port of call if you are not sure where to start — nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospitals/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service NHS England [https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/complaint/] NHS England Complaints — you can make a formal complaint directly to NHS England by emailing england.contactus@nhs.net [england.contactus@nhs.net], marking it "For the attention of the complaints team." Full guidance here — england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/complaint NHS England [https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/complaint/complaining-to-nhse/] Action Against Medical Accidents (AvMA) is an independent charity that can help patients consider their options after suffering a medical accident, including providing contacts for specialist solicitors. Find them at avma.org.uk House of Commons Library [https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/nhs-complaints-in-england/] Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman (PHSO) — if you are not satisfied with how your complaint has been handled, you can escalate to the Ombudsman. It is a free, independent service. Visit ombudsman.org.uk or call 0345 015 4033. NHS England [https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/] Healthwatch — an independent statutory body that helps make sure your feedback is heard. Search for your local Healthwatch online to find support and complaints advocacy in your area. House of Commons Library [https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/nhs-complaints-in-england/] Resources for Cerebral Palsy: * Cerebral Palsy UK — cerebralpalsy.org.uk — information, support and guidance for families * Scope — scope.org.uk — disability charity offering support for families of children with cerebral palsy * Contact — contact.org.uk — support for families of children with any disability or medical condition If this episode resonated with you — whether because you have felt dismissed by the medical system, or because Monique's story challenged the way you think — please share it. There is a parent out there who needs to hear this today. And as Monique so beautifully puts it: my choice is my choice, your choice is yours. 💛 💛 Raising with the Village This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ [https://raisingwith.co.uk/] 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage [https://www.instagram.com/raisingwiththevillage] 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.

#20 - Liz - I Didn't Want Kids ... Until I Did: One Mum's Hilarious Take on Life with Twins

Some episodes make you think. Some make you cry. And some make you laugh so hard you forget you're even listening to a podcast. This is one of those. Today I'm sitting down with Liz — self-proclaimed mum of four year old twins, and honestly, the funniest guest I have had on this show to date. Fair warning: the giggles are very much part of this episode. I am not sorry. Liz didn't grow up dreaming of motherhood. For a long time, children simply weren't part of the picture. And then she met her partner. And everything changed. Suddenly she knew — she wanted this. She wanted a family. What she didn't see coming was two. In this conversation, Liz takes us right back to the beginning — what she really thought about having children when she was younger, the moment everything shifted when she met the right person, and then the moment she found out she wasn't just expecting a baby. She was expecting twins. We talk about the pregnancy, the preparation, and the beautiful, exhausting, hilarious reality of bringing two tiny humans into the world at the same time. Liz has this incredible gift of finding the funny in everything — the chaos, the sleepless nights, the moments that are equal parts adorable and completely unhinged — and she shares it all with a warmth and an honesty that will leave you smiling long after the episode ends. And running underneath all the laughter is something quietly profound. A woman who once couldn't picture herself as a mum, who now cannot imagine how she ever thought she didn't want this life. If you've just found out you're expecting twins — this one is for you. If you're in the thick of twin life — this one is definitely for you. And if you just need a feel good episode today — well. You're in the right place. In this episode we talk about: * What Liz really thought about having children before she met her partner * The moment she knew she wanted to become a mum * Finding out she was expecting twins and what that moment was like * The twin pregnancy — the highs, the lows, and everything in between * Bringing two babies home at the same time and surviving to tell the tale * The funniest and most chaotic moments of twin life * How life with twins has completely exceeded every expectation she had If this episode made you smile, share it with someone who needs a feel good listen today. And if you are a twin parent with a story to tell, I would love to hear from you — get in touch and come join the village. 💛 💛 Raising with the Village This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ [https://raisingwith.co.uk/] 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage [https://www.instagram.com/raisingwiththevillage] 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.

#19 - Simon - Breaking the Cycle: How Sye MC Chose to Become the Dad He Never Had

Breaking the Cycle: How Sye MC Chose to Become the Dad He Never Had Some people drift into parenthood. Others walk into it with their eyes wide open, having done the quiet, unglamorous work of looking at their own childhood and deciding — consciously, deliberately — to do things differently. Simon, known to many as Sye MC, is one of those people. In this episode, Simon takes us back to the beginning. Growing up in an unconventional family set up, navigating a childhood that didn't always look like everyone else's. And then, at twenty years old, becoming a dad himself. Young, but already asking the right questions. What kind of father do I want to be? What patterns do I want to break? What do I want my son to feel that I didn't always have? He talks about the relationship he built with his first son — the intention behind it, the love that drove it, and the version of himself he was still growing into at the time. Then life shifted. In his late twenties, Simon met his now wife. And by the time he became a father again in his mid thirties, he was standing in a completely different place. Financially stable, emotionally grounded, and equipped in ways his younger self simply wasn't. The contrast between those two chapters of fatherhood — and what he learned in the years between them — is at the heart of this conversation. This is an episode about growth. About generational healing. About the courage it takes to look at where you came from and choose a different path. And about what it really means to parent with intention. In this episode we talk about: * Growing up in an unconventional family set up and what that looked like * Becoming a dad at twenty and the conscious choices that followed * Breaking generational cycles and parenting with intention * Building a deep and meaningful relationship with his first son * Meeting his wife and becoming a dad again in his mid thirties * The difference between who he was at twenty and who he became * Generational healing and what we choose to pass on to our children * Growth, self-awareness, and showing up as the parent you want to be If this episode resonated with you — whether you're a young parent finding your feet, someone actively working to break a cycle, or simply a parent who wants to show up with more intention — I'd love for you to share it with someone who might need to hear it today. And if you have a story you'd like to share on the podcast, get in touch. This village is always growing. 💛 💛 Raising with the Village This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ [https://raisingwith.co.uk/] 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage [https://www.instagram.com/raisingwiththevillage] 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.

#18 - Anita - Pregnancy Loss, a Lung Defect, and the First Year Nobody Prepares You For

Anita: Pregnancy Loss, a Lung Defect, and the First Year Nobody Prepares You For Please note: this episode contains a discussion about pregnancy loss. Please take care of yourself as you listen. Anita first joined us in episode seven, where she shared her birth experiences with an elective and an emergency C-section — and mentioned, almost in passing, that her daughter had been born with a lung defect. Today, she comes back to tell us the rest of the story. Before she does, Anita opens up about something she hadn't shared before — the loss of a pregnancy in her late first trimester. She speaks about it with honesty and tenderness, and with the kind of quiet courage that I know will resonate with so many of you. And then she takes us into her daughter's first year and a half of life. Her daughter was born with CPAM — Congenital Pulmonary Airway Malformation — a rare lung condition that was picked up during pregnancy. What followed was a journey of scans, hospital appointments, consultants, and waiting. The kind of waiting that sits with you every single day. Until the surgery. This episode is for every parent who has started their parenting journey on a hospital ward. Every parent who has learned a medical language they never wanted to know. And every parent who has loved their child through something terrifying, and found a strength they didn't know they had. In this episode we talk about: * Experiencing pregnancy loss in the late first trimester * Receiving a CPAM diagnosis during pregnancy * What CPAM is and what it means for your baby * The follow-up appointments, scans, and hospital visits in the first year * Preparing for and navigating your baby's surgery * The emotional load of parenting a baby with a medical condition * Finding community and support when your parenting journey looks different What is CPAM? CPAM (Congenital Pulmonary Airway Malformation) is a rare congenital lung condition where abnormal tissue develops in the lung during pregnancy. It varies in severity — some babies require surgery, others are monitored over time. If your baby has been diagnosed with CPAM, know that you are not alone. Resources & Support CPAM Community & Support Groups * Parents of CPAM — Facebook group recommended by Anita, a community of parents navigating a CPAM diagnosis together * CPAM Support Group UK — search on Facebook for UK-based parent communities around CPAM and congenital lung conditions * Great Ormond Street Hospital (GOSH) — gosh.nhs.uk — offers information and guidance on congenital lung conditions and treatment pathways * British Lung Foundation / Asthma + Lung UK — asthmaandlung.org.uk — resources on lung conditions in children * Contact (for families of disabled children) — contact.org.uk — provides support and advice for families of children with any medical condition or disability For Pregnancy Loss Support * Tommy's — tommys.org — leading UK charity supporting parents through pregnancy loss, with information, helplines, and community * The Miscarriage Association — miscarriageassociation.org.uk — support and information for anyone affected by pregnancy loss * Sands — sands.org.uk — supports anyone affected by the death of a baby For Finding Your Village * Peanut App — peanut-app.io — an app designed to help mums connect with other mums nearby. Anita uses it and loves it! Available in the UK, US, Canada, and Australia among others — worth checking availability in your country. If this episode resonated with you — whether you've been through pregnancy loss, you're navigating a diagnosis, or you've spent time on a hospital ward with your little one — please share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you'd like to share your own story on the podcast, get in touch. As always, thank you for being part of this village. 💛 💛 Raising with the Village This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ [https://raisingwith.co.uk/] 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage [https://www.instagram.com/raisingwiththevillage] 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.

#17 - Phil - The Other Half of the Village: A Chef, a Dad, and the Honest Truth About Hospitality Parenting

The Other Half of the Village: A Chef, a Dad, and the Honest Truth About Hospitality Parenting If you listened to last week's episode with Hollie, you'll know the reality of parenting when your life runs opposite to everyone else's. This week, we hear from the other side of that story. Phil is a chef. His days start when most people's are ending. His weekends look nothing like yours. And his version of fatherhood has been built around late nights, long shifts, and a schedule that leaves very little room for the ordinary rhythms of family life. In this conversation, Phil opens up about what it really means to be a present dad in the hospitality industry — the solo parenting days, the exhaustion, the joy, and the quiet weight of doing it all while the rest of the world is asleep. We also get into some bigger questions. Could he imagine having more children with this life set up? And what do we really think about people who choose not to have children at all — and does our judgement change depending on who's making that choice? This is a rich, honest, and at times unexpected conversation. One that goes beyond the kitchen and into the heart of what modern fatherhood can look like. In this episode we talk about: * What a typical day looks like as a chef and a dad * Parenting solo when schedules don't align * Becoming a father and how it changed his perspective * Whether having more children is possible — or desirable — with this lifestyle * The societal pressure around parenthood choices, and the gender divide in how we judge them If this episode resonated with you, share it with a parent who might need to hear it — or leave a review. It means the world and helps this village grow. 💛 Raising with the Village This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.  New episodes every Thursday! 🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/ [https://raisingwith.co.uk/] 📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage [https://www.instagram.com/raisingwiththevillage] 🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms. If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.