Soul Toll with Anusia
Harvard Mindfulness Researcher: When You Can't Stop Trying To Be Heard | Soul Toll S1E6 DEEP LISTENING BEFORE DEEP LEARNING There's a part of you that needs to be heard. To be right. To sound smart. It speaks before you've even listened. This episode is about what happens when you stop, ask why you're really talking, and find what's underneath it all. If you've been doing more talking than listening — out loud, or in your own head — this is the conversation. ABOUT THE EPISODE In this episode of Soul Toll, host Anusia Gillespie sits down with Dr. Dilara Ally, a researcher at the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital, for a conversation about listening. The kind you do for other people, and the kind you almost never do for yourself. Dr. Ally works at the intersection of behavioral health, Buddhist practice, and artificial intelligence. She starts with the smallest possible pause — humming, the thing she once asked a room of two hundred women at MIT to do, because it settles the body without asking anyone to perform. Then she goes deeper. She walks Anusia through the meeting most of us know by heart: the one where a part of you needs to prove it's smart, needs to be heard, and won't quiet down. The moment the whole conversation turns on is when she asks that part how old it is. The answer is twelve. What's underneath the noise, it turns out, is usually someone young who just wants to know they matter. ABOUT THE GUEST Dr. Dilara Ally is a researcher at the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital affiliated with the Cambridge Health Alliance. Her research focuses on compassion and Internal Family Systems — how people heal from trauma and find their way back to themselves. She brings a twenty-year Buddhist practice and a former career as a data scientist in the life sciences to her work in behavioral health. CHAPTERS 00:00 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U] Deep Listening Before Deep Learning 01:24 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=84s] The parking lot at MIT, two years ago 02:01 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=121s] The center hiding in plain sight 03:17 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=197s] Why she made a room full of women hum 04:47 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=287s] A pause that doesn't ask too much of you 07:23 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=443s] Assume everyone walked in carrying something 10:05 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=605s] A world in a swirl 10:36 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=636s] Where the motto really came from 11:51 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=711s] The data that wouldn't say what they wanted 13:07 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=787s] Listening as a gift of space 15:01 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=901s] The three places you have to listen 16:59 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1019s] Why am I talking? 18:49 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1129s] The parts that run the show 22:03 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1323s] Who doesn't, if you're a woman 23:04 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1384s] Back in the meeting, needing to sound smart 24:01 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1441s] How old are you? 26:33 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1593s] Twenty years of practice meets the science 29:48 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1788s] The art of the better question 30:31 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMv2oeJoU5U&t=1831s] Turn off your phone SUBSCRIBE for new episodes of Soul Toll, dropping weekly. CONNECT Website: https://soul-toll.com [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa3RfMGs0UGo1QjNGVVBaLWVCU2xCbXlHanBPUXxBQ3Jtc0tsUGdGSXBZUUUyRnU1eklwa0poRVdkZHN2SGZxT3NxZTJzaHpGZG5uRTlzclItR1QzS0FKc0pPWXJMaGktWjAyXy1vbWFsSXowQUxhcHRxOXJPbDN6VjZnekVPZjlBQ05DbFVScFQ1S3l2el9tMUpHWQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fsoul-toll.com%2F&v=vMv2oeJoU5U] Instagram: / anusiagillespie [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbmthNDZaNE1ubndXQklWV21VRXpqc01vSkgwd3xBQ3Jtc0ttcGYteS1RLWxjc2RwRGRmZ0ZfWVNCd014UkVuNk1jeW1fcFdibW1JQ0cwX2N1SElKSXJuZldUbk9BS1VWQUVvNllqZThOdHVjNmdpSk9Id1R5ZzVyemx2d3YyYVhXZS00Y29FZGYySDhFV0x6REF6OA&q=https%3A%2F%2Finstagram.com%2Fanusiagillespie&v=vMv2oeJoU5U] LinkedIn: / anusiagillespie [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbmdpcVdHM2RlSUxMUGs1V21rUENDV0tfMm5ud3xBQ3Jtc0tuaGJfbjQ4NldlWWNsUG5PRnBKamFjdXc3akdJNHlpNUd0WkhYMFNVLVdtWnZDNmFvaGVaeDNzN2cxa2ZzaHY2OV9tenNVM3pqTFdXck5waFNwenFqTWRqa1hnakdRUHlvN0NXSXNGY0l0Y3ctSHJIVQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Flinkedin.com%2Fin%2Fanusiagillespie&v=vMv2oeJoU5U] Facebook: / anusia.gillespie.5 [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbDJjZmx2N2dveHhrb3pjc2h3NjQtbTE5Z29vUXxBQ3Jtc0ttTV9NZHJweFRIbzVsS3prN3dCbUh2YTFfTkNySkZ0cHF2S3BycDhSeUNoSjd1QkJ4dU9xQWVBV3FmNmVNOWo5c0pLV0RfcFpkWkRJeU0yamFRdWYzdWFtUEZCcS05RnB0d0pKUll0UUQ0enVoTFU5cw&q=https%3A%2F%2Ffacebook.com%2Fanusia.gillespie.5&v=vMv2oeJoU5U] Business inquiries: hello@soul-toll.com READ THE BOOK Soul Toll by Anusia Gillespie: https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Toll-Anus... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa2pmWUFVb1lDVXpMd0d3cXQ1Ql9zWlhaUGFTd3xBQ3Jtc0tuelB1dmR4cVpmdjZJY2tLNEl4aEtVOWs2TURSRjZUUm5ua0MzMTh5SlRibjlya1RFeHdoOEZPeGJWNVlVQ2ZXTnlXUEZBNS1rclI3VHZ4empTRVdhTWZoWmg2VERNOTh3aVh1eXk4cDljQnFnSzZqWQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSoul-Toll-Anusia-Gillespie%2Fdp%2FB0FN9PSS2N&v=vMv2oeJoU5U] PRODUCTION Director: Michael Dynice Writers and Producers: Anusia Gillespie, Lady Unicorn Executive Producers: Johnny Ray, Richard Messinger Lighting and Scenic Design: We Roadie and Grip Inc. Post Production and Editing: Streamography Produced for Warwick TV at Johnny Ray's Music Emporium WITH SPECIAL THANKS Eat Well Kitchen of Marblehead Johnny Ray's Music Emporium We Roadie and Grip Inc. Chic Streets Mabel of Marblehead The Yoga Loft Marblehead Ghislain Viau of Creative Publishing Book Design #SoulToll [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/soultoll] #DilaraAlly [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/dilaraally] #Mindfulness [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/mindfulness] #Compassion [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/compassion] #DeepListening [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/deeplistening] #SelfCompassion [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/selfcompassion] #InternalFamilySystems [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/internalfamilysystems] #NervousSystem [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/nervoussystem] #WomenAtWork [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/womenatwork] #AnusiaGillespie [https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/anusiagillespie]
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