What You Are Not Saying And Why It Matters.

What You Are Not Saying And Why It Matters.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION: What does it really mean to be open and honest with your partner — and are you actually doing it? In this episode, Marie and Adam dive deep into one of the most misunderstood concepts in relationships: true openness and honesty. Using the powerful Johari's Window model, they break down the four quadrants of self-awareness — what you know, what others see, your hidden side, and the completely unknown — and show you how expanding each one can transform your relationship and your business. They get personal, sharing their own journey from surface-level communication to the vulnerable, trust-building conversations that changed everything — including their approach to intimacy. You'll learn the difference between openness (how you receive) and honesty (how you give), why safety and trust must come first, and how to navigate the uncomfortable territory of blind spots, people-pleasing, and the "bully" dynamic that shows up in so many relationships. Whether you're just starting out or years into your partnership, this episode will challenge you to know yourself first — so you can show up fully for the person you love. SHOW NOTES: In this episode, Marie & Adam cover: * What Johari's Window is and how it applies to your relationship (and your business) * The 4 quadrants: Open, Hidden, Blind Spot, and Unknown — with real-life examples * Why openness and honesty are not the same thing — and why you need both * The 4 relationship dynamics: healthy, dysfunctional, the bully, and the people-pleaser * How to use "yes/no/maybe" lists to explore intimacy and desires * The role of the body in receiving difficult feedback (the 90-second feelings rule!) * How to build a weekly rhythm that makes honest conversations feel safe * Practical tools: conversation starter cards, compliment sandwiches, core values shout-outs * Why "know thyself first" is the foundation of everything Resources mentioned: * Johari's Window model * Esther Perel's conversation cards * Patrick Lencioni's Trust Pyramid * Yes/No/Maybe lists for intimacy exploration * Marie & Adam's free Weekly Connection Rhythm workbook startupspouses.co/free-workbook-download Action items for this week: * Try a vulnerability conversation starter with your partner * Notice where you fall on the openness/honesty spectrum — are you the bully, the people-pleaser, or somewhere in between? * Download the free Weekly Connection Rhythm workbook and start your weekly meeting ritual

How Intimacy Has Completely Redefined Our Relationship

Episode Description:What does it really mean to be sex positive — and why does it matter for your relationship and your business? In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie (intimacy coach) and Adam (business coach) get real about their personal journey from shame, silence, and suppressed desires to radical openness and a thriving intimate life. They share how growing up in a culture that stigmatized sex shaped their early marriage, how listening to podcasts like Sex With Emily and Shameless Sex cracked open the conversation, and how tools like the Yes/No/Maybe list changed everything. Whether you're navigating perimenopause, body image struggles, or just trying to build a stronger foundation with your partner, this episode meets you where you are.Show Notes:Episode: Sex Positivity — What It Is, Why It Matters & How It Changed Our MarriageIn this episode, Marie and Adam discuss:What sex positivity actually means — it's not about doing everything, it's about education, curiosity, and being non-judgmental about pleasure and desireHow cultural conditioning and the Reagan-era abstinence-only approach shaped their (and your) unhealthy relationship with sexTheir personal journey — from shame, obligation, and silence to openness, confidence, and connectionMarie's transformation — navigating perimenopause, low testosterone, thyroid issues, body image challenges, and how hormone replacement therapy, boudoir photography, and the Somatica training changed her relationship with her own sexualityAdam's story — from deeply rooted self-imposed shame to becoming an advocate for sex positivity within their marriageThe Yes/No/Maybe List — a tool from Dr. Emily Morse that helped them discover desires they didn't even know they had (they went from 20% yes to 50/50!)The Johari's Window model — how sharing hidden parts of yourself with a safe partner expands your self-knowledge and deepens intimacyWhy safety comes first — you can't jump into radical openness without first building an environment of trustConsent as an ongoing conversation — not a one-time yes or no, but a fluid, evolving dialogue that can even be foreplayCuriosity over judgment — seeking to understand different relationship dynamics and desires without shameResources mentioned:Sex With Emily podcast — Dr. Emily MorseShameless Sex podcastThe Yes/No/Maybe List (available as a free download — link in show notes)Somatica Institute (somatic intimacy coaching)Key takeaway: A strong sex life is foundational to a strong relationship — and a strong relationship is foundational to a strong business and life together. Start with the conversations, build the safety, and the rest follows.https://www.startupspouses.co

Your Marriage Has a 90% Chance of Failing If You Do This

What if you could predict whether your relationship would last — with 90% accuracy? The Gottman Institute can. In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie (relationship & intimacy coach) and Adam (business coach) break down the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse — four destructive communication patterns that, left unchecked, can destroy your relationship and your business partnership. Whether you're navigating a marriage, a family business, or both, understanding these patterns is the first step to building the kind of communication that creates a truly mind-blowing relationship. Show Notes: What We Cover: 🐴 Horseman #1 — Criticism Going beyond feedback into shame and passive aggression. Learn why shaming never changes behavior — and what to say instead. 🐴 Horseman #2 — Contempt The most dangerous horseman. Superiority, sarcasm used as a weapon, eye-rolling, and the toxic "should haves." The antidote? Gratitude and dropping expectations. 🐴 Horseman #3 — Defensiveness When burnout and ego collide, defensiveness shuts down real connection — even in the bedroom. Learn how curiosity and vulnerability create safety instead. 🐴 Horseman #4 — Stonewalling The silent treatment. Checking out. The point where a relationship may be beyond repair without outside help. Recognize it early. Key Takeaways: * Shame does not change behavior — curiosity does * Lead with "I" statements and concern, not criticism * Drop the "shoulds" — comparison is a relationship killer * Put your ego aside and communicate, especially in intimacy * Accountability can't be forced — create an environment where it thrives * Both partners have to want it for a relationship to be repaired Resources Mentioned: * The Gottman Institute — gottman.com * Download our Weekly Spousal Meeting Agenda (link in show notes) Connect with Startup Spouses: * Subscribe, leave a review, and share with a friend!

Burnout Is Silently Destroying Your Marriage

In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie Intimacy coach) and Adam (business coach) get real about burnout: what it looks like, how it sneaks up on you, and why hustle culture is conditioning an entire generation — including our kids — to run on empty. Drawing from their own experiences with sobriety, family business near-bankruptcy, a daughter's eating disorder, and a global pandemic all hitting at once, they share the mindset shifts and practical tools that helped them rebuild their capacity — and their marriage. You'll hear about: * Why "giving 110%" is actually a red flag — and what to say instead * The 80% Rule: how training for Ironman Triathlon taught Adam a better way to work, live, and lead * How burnout shows up in your body before your brain catches on * Simple embodiment practices to reconnect with yourself under stress * Why your intimacy life is the first casualty of chronic burnout — and how to protect it * The power of scheduling connection (yes, including sex) to keep your relationship from becoming a roommate situation Episode: Burnout Startup Spouses — helping entrepreneurial couples go from mediocre to mind-blowing In this episode: * [Intro] Marie & Adam introduce the topic of burnout and its connection to hustle culture * Adam's personal burnout story: panic attacks in college, over-functioning in the family business, and even "recovery burnout" in sobriety * Marie's burnout story: working restaurant shifts without breaks, young kids + undiagnosed ADHD, panic attacks driving to work * How burnout nearly destroyed their marriage when business insolvency, COVID, a daughter's eating disorder, and a move all hit in the same two months * The 80% Rule — the Maffetone Method, heart rate training, and how building capacity at 80% makes your 80% better than everyone else's 110% * Signs of burnout: weight changes, heart palpitations, nervous system dysregulation, loss of libido, anger, disconnection * Embodiment tools: breathwork, body check-ins, placing a hand on your chest, gratitude practice as a gateway to mindfulness * Why scheduling intimacy isn't unromantic — it's essential * Understanding responsive vs. spontaneous desire and what your partner actually needs to feel connected * How prioritizing your relationship fuels everything else in your life and business Resources mentioned: * Weekly Spouse Meeting Framework (download in show notes) * The Maffetone Method (heart rate-based training) If you enjoyed this episode: * Share it with a friend who needs to hear it * Leave a 5-star review * Subscribe so you never miss an episode "Let's build mind-blowing relationships with our spouses so we can build great businesses." Show Notes

Your Body Image is slowly Killing Your Marriage

Episode Description: Body image isn't just a women's issue — and it's not just about how you look. In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie and Adam get honest about their personal journeys with body image, eating disorders, and the cultural pressures that shape how we see ourselves. Marie shares her experience being put on a diet at 12 years old, navigating body dysmorphia through perimenopause, and how open conversations with Adam became a turning point for her confidence and sexuality. Adam reflects on the silent struggles men face with body image, and together they discuss their family's real-life battle with severe eating disorders — and why this epidemic doesn't get nearly enough attention or resources.  This is a candid, compassionate conversation about letting go of impossible ideals, embracing your body as it is, and how confidence in yourself shows up in your relationship, your sex life, and your business.  ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses eating disorders, body image, and related mental health topics.  Show Notes: In this episode, Marie and Adam discuss:  * Why body image is a topic that affects men and women equally  * Marie's story: being put on a diet at age 12 and the long road to body confidence  * The "calories in, calories out" myth — and why our bodies are smarter than that  * How diet culture and the obesity industry have overshadowed the eating disorder epidemic Eating disorders as one of the highest-mortality mental illnesses — and why we don't talk about it enough  * Body dysmorphia: how we see ourselves vs. how our partners see us *  How open, honest conversations about intimacy and desire helped Marie reclaim her sexiness The power of embodiment — feeling sexy in your whole body, not just your head *  Their family's experience with a daughter battling severe anorexia and bulimia, and the lack of support for parents *  Practical tips: better lighting, professional photography, and ditching the mirror *  How weight training and martial arts shifted their relationship with exercise from punishment to celebration  * Why making your spouse feel sexy is one of the most important investments in your relationship  * Resources Mentioned: TADAM Photography (Denver, CO) — also featured in the Netflix show How to Build a Sex Room Connect with Marie & Adam: If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder or body image issues, reach out to Marie directly — she can point you toward resources and support. If you enjoyed this episode