Talking Shoppe with Deming-Rivers Social Club

Context Matters!

Essence and Emily dive deep into the often misunderstood concepts of validation and emotional regulation, offering tangible ways to improve your relationships and self-awareness. They kick off the episode by breaking down the crucial differences between hearing, listening, and true validation, while calling out the common, superficial phrases that usually backfire. Together, they explore how validation acts as a bid for connection—not agreement—and explain how a little curiosity can completely change the dynamic of a conversation. The hosts also tackle the concept of emotional literacy, introducing a "thermometer" model to help gauge emotional intensity and build distress tolerance. From navigating hyper-literal social media trends during identity-prioritizing months to managing household chaos, Essence and Emily share practical strategies for sitting with difficult feelings without escalating. They close out the episode with their Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. 00:00 Introduction to Validation and Relevance During Pride Month 2:13 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis 05:50 The Pitfalls of Superficial Validation 09:50 Connection vs. Agreement 14:05 Cultivating Curiosity and Avoiding Judgment 19:09 How Emotional Intensity Affects Responses 22:14 Distress Tolerance: Sitting With Your Feelings 24:45 Balancing Validation and Problem Solving 27:31 Recognizing and Responding to Bids for Validation 36:19 The Danger of Fake Consensus 43:40 External vs. Internal Validation 45:35 Navigating Challenging Conversations and Identity 46:25 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T

Leadership Lessons from LGBTQ+ Icons

Essence and Emily continue to celebrate Pride and open episode nine with a “work wife, work overlord, work nemesis” game They then discuss research they conducted on queer icons. Essence shares facts about Marsha P. Johnson, including her “Pay It No Mind” middle initial, early gender expression, moving to New York at 18, Christian faith, activism connected to Stonewall, and co-founding STAR and STAR House with Sylvia Rivera to shelter unhoused trans youth. Emily focuses on James Obergefell and the events leading to Obergefell v. Hodges, describing how he and John Arthur sought marriage recognition in Ohio during Arthur’s ALS, their tarmac wedding in Maryland, the fight over the death certificate, and the 2015 Supreme Court decision. They reflect on bravery, education as resistance, and community. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. 00:00 Welcome Back and Happy Pride 00:33 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis 06:05 Weekend Recording Energy 06:46 Researching Queer Icons 08:50 Marsha P Johnson 18:06 James Obergefell 26:25 Lessons on Bravery and Visibility 32:06 Pride, Joy, and Education 36:12 Self Worth vs Selfishness 39:25 Creating Change Without Reward 41:38 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T Segment

Why Pride Month Matters

In episode eight of Talking Shoppe, psychologists and consultants Essence and Emily open by wishing everyone a happy Pride Month and playing “Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis”. They then discuss why Pride Month matters at work and in society, addressing polarization, corporate “rainbow washing,” and how celebrating marginalized identities can be misconstrued as taking space from others. They contrast equality and equity and argue that education about LGBTQ+ identities is not indoctrination. They reflect on vulnerability, the origins of Pride, the need for visibility and safe spaces, compulsory heterosexuality, and how many queer elders were lost. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. and a June 1 tradition of Rita’s gelatis with rainbow sprinkles. 00:06 Welcome Back and Happy Pride 00:29 Podcast Purpose and Vibe 01:23 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis 06:59 Pride Pushback and Rainbow Washing 10:18 Equity vs Equality Explained 14:03 Vulnerability and Connection 16:14 Why Pride Exists 20:01 Labels and Compulsory Heterosexuality 21:45 Pride Month Beyond Parades 24:37 Respecting Identity Differences 26:20 Curiosity Versus Bigotry 27:36 Vulnerability and Privilege 28:48 Why Pride Month Matters 33:30 Who Pride Is For 35:27 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

When Education is Not Enough: Turning Knowledge into Action

In Episode 7 of Talking Shoppe, Essence and Emily discuss busy weeks, and do their “work wife, work overlord, and work nemesis” segment. For their last Mental Health Awareness Month episode, they focus on why awareness without accurate education and application falls short, noting there’s no formal channel for learning mental health outside training for becoming a therapist. They connect workplace functioning to mental health through executive functioning, explain how stress disrupts frontal-lobe processes, and outline executive functions. They propose curriculum topics. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. 00:00 Welcome Back Episode Seven 00:36 Life Updates 02:14 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis 05:35 Mental Health Awareness Month 06:31 Awareness Versus Education 12:26 Training Without Application 15:20 Why Mental Health Matters 18:48 Executive Function 25:48 Emotion-Based Policies 27:36 Auditing Mental Load 31:32 Making Education Culture 32:47 Self Advocacy at Work 38:52 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. 49:28 Wrap Up

The Value of Community

In episode six of Talking Shoppe with Deming-Rivers Social Club, Essence and Emily open with their “work wife/work overlord/work nemesis” game. They continue their Mental Health Awareness Month revamp and focus on connection and community-building, prompted by a comment from a viewer. They discuss identity, values, code-switching, and how safety must be explicit, highlighting finding an affirming church that clearly welcomes LGBTQ+ people and helped them build community. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. 00:00 Welcome Back Episode Six 00:53 Work Wife/Work Overlord/Work Nemesis 03:50 Revamping Mental Health Month Awareness Month 07:10 Why Connection Matters 09:04 Identity Values And Community 10:44 Code Switching And Reinvention 13:04 Finding Friends 20:59 Finding Harvest 22:49 Safety Builds Community 24:07 Beyond Awareness to Connection 26:42 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T 37:39 Wrap Up and Thanks