The Alligator News Roundup
Number 4. The Daily Caller. Democrat assembly considers plan to fire the Virginia Supreme Court. [https://dailycaller.com/2026/05/11/democrats-reportedly-float-plan-to-boot-entire-virginia-supreme-court-after-losing-redistricting-case/] In the wake of the Virginia Supreme Court decision striking down the statewide referendum on voter redistricting, the Democrat-led Virginia assembly has proposed a bold new plan: Fire the justices. Without getting overmuch into the weeds, Virginia state law requires that a referendum such as was just passed requires a waiting period before it can be put to a vote of the people. That waiting period was ignored, over the objections of the only Democrat in the state who had read their Constitution. I presume the law in question violated 24.2-682 “Times for special elections” [https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/24.2-682/] of the Code of Virginia, which I found on-line in an intensive search requiring about 8 seconds. “A referendum election shall be ordered at least 81 days prior to the date for which the referendum election is called.” In this case, the timeframe allowed was something like 20 minutes. So the obvious answer to this intractable problem is to fire the SCOVA justices—all of them. It is far too tedious to draft a new statute, which itself would require some sort of niggling vote or something. The easy button for vacating the Supreme Court—which the commonwealth must provide, according to that same meddlesome Constitution—is to simply declare the current raft of robed dignitaries who can read ineligible to serve. Current Virginia law requires mandatory retirement for justices at age 75. Just mandate retirement at 54. Problem solved. It will come as no shock to readers of the ANR to learn that the youngest of the seven serving justices [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supreme_Court_of_Virginia#Active_justices] is 54 and one-fourth years old. At press time, there is a rumor an amendment to the suggested legislation has been proposed, lowering the minimum age of SCOVA justices to 13, along with other mandatory qualifications: Resident of Virginia within 15 miles of Washington, D.C., experienced cannabis user, and displaying no fewer than 6 body piercings. Number 3. RedState. Trump sued for painting the Reflecting Pool “flag blue”. [https://redstate.com/terichristoph/2026/05/11/tclf-sues-to-stop-trumps-reflecting-pool-project-n2202229] President Trump has once again committed one of the foulest acts of treachery ever conceived: he has decided to renovate the historic Reflecting Pool on the Washington Mall. The decision to drain, clean and re-paint the surface of the Pool dishonors the memory of those brave Americans who fought and died so that we could have… a Reflecting Pool subjected to leakage, and plagued with [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-resurfacing-lincoln-memorial-reflecting-pool-blue/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] algae, goose droppings, discarded garbage, and general detritus. But the real problem noted in the lawsuit is that Trump plans to resurface the pool with a bright blue industrial surface. He calls it “American flag blue.” Rumors that the color emits a unique spectroscopic signature that will destroy the lens of Chinese surveillance satellites could not be confirmed. I suspect that even if Trump decided to re-paint the surface in the same non-descript gray that Obama ordered in 2012, there would still be a lawsuit over the renovation. Unidentified sources exclusive to the ANR report that the “flag blue” color was decided on after considering whether it should be a solid color, or should be painted with a design that could be seen from space. Rubio and Vance were in favor of Trump’s 2023 mugshot; Hegseth liked the Butler PA “raised fist” photo. All were overruled by Trump, the coolest head among them. On a financial note, Obama’s renovation cost [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-resurfacing-lincoln-memorial-reflecting-pool-blue/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] $34 million. Trump announced “I got a pool guy” who would do it for $1.8. That cost has since risen to $6.9 [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-reflecting-pool-washington-contract-b2973560.html]. Some press reports indicate [https://www.inquirer.com/news/nation-world/lincoln-memorial-reflecting-pool-repairs-contractor-cost-soars-trump-lawsuit-20260511.html] $13.1. Hard to tell which is true when the reporting comes from sources who appear to hate everything Trump. This week, two guys in white overalls and a Chevy panel van were seen with paint rollers and 5-gallon cans of blue paint, working on the floor of the pool. Number 2. Bearing Arms dot com. New Jersey contradicts itself over guns and ammo. [https://bearingarms.com/camedwards/2026/05/10/new-jerseys-second-amendment-catch-22-n1232478] There is an old story about a farmer who asked to borrow his neighbor’s rope. “No,” said the neighbor, “gotta use it to tie up my milk.” The first man protested. “You can’t use rope to tie up milk.” “That is as it may be,” said the neighbor. “But I ain’t gonna loan you my rope. So one excuse is as good as another.” The State of New Jersey follows apparently similar logic. We don’t want you to have a gun, so any old reason will do. The Garden State has long prohibited citizens from owning what they call assault rifles [https://www.lustberglaw.com/blog/nj-banned-firearms-list/]. This is based on the idea that those are military-style weapons, and no civilian should possess a military firearm, because they are dangerous. Now, they have banned civilian ownership of hollow point bullets. The logic is that hollow points are useless, because those are not widely used by the military. If they were any good, the Army would have them. Police departments have migrated to hollow points because [https://www.thearmorylife.com/the-rationale-for-defensive-hollow-points/] (1) they are less likely to over-penetrate a target, especially important in a heavily populated area, (2) they create a larger wound channel, which promotes more immediate physical incapacity, (3) the risk of ricochet (harming bystanders) is reduced, and (4) they tend to be less lethal because fewer rounds are required to stop the threat. But New Jersey has effectively said: You must not use an asset that is not used by the military, and also you must not use an asset that the military uses. I think I’ve got it. New Jersey does not want you to have a gun. Self-defense is moving back toward edged weapons… like in the good old days. Three hundred years ago, maybe. If you are tall, young, male, and have a long reach, your odds are much better. Number 1. New York Post. Water park party organizer runs a “Learing Center”. [https://nypost.com/2026/05/07/us-news/organizer-of-texas-muslim-only-waterpark-event-runs-a-mispelled-learing-center-childcare-org/] Last week [https://alligatorpublishing.substack.com/p/iranian-navy-enlists-dolphins-as] we brought you word that Epic Waters in Grand Prairie, Texas, planned a “Muslims-only” day at the water park. Attenders were advised that it would be family friendly, that females should dress modestly, that males should “lower their gaze”, and that only Muslims were welcome. After some considerable American outrage, Epic Waters re-published the event as open to all, yet still with a strong Islam-friendly theme. Epic Waters is taxpayer funded. Governor Abbot responded immediately with a threat to withhold state funds from the city of Grand Prairie for allowing such a religiously intolerant exercise. The event was subsequently cancelled. Sara Gonzales from The Blaze interviewed Dr. Aminah Knight, [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/05/watch-conservative-host-shocks-muslims-only-waterpark-event/] organizer of the event. During the discussion, Dr. Knight was asked about a different initiative she owns. The “Excellence Early Learing Center” offers a multicultural environment with small classrooms for pre-K children. Instructors hold degrees in various fields (accounting, biology, science, math, etc) “from their home countries.” The article does not identify “their home countries.” Being the ace culture detective that I am, I am assembling a set of clues: Dr. Aminah Knight has a name that sounds vaguely not American; Dr. Knight organized an event exclusively for Muslims; Dr. Knight operates an “Early Learing Center” in Texas with misspelling identical to that found in a Somali enterprise in Minnesota. I think I see a pattern emerging. In the interview, Gonzales asked whether misspelling like that should cause anyone to question the quality of the education offered by those degreed instructors. Dr. Knight pushed back: “It was just a typo! I thought we were here to talk about the water park!'“ Which did not precisely answer the question. And thank for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 15, 2026. If you are still employed, good for you. Just know that as you reach that advanced age approaching 54 you could be in jeopardy of being forced to retire. Especially if you can read. Have a good weekend! Get full access to The Alligator Blog at alligatorpublishing.substack.com/subscribe [https://alligatorpublishing.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]
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