The Awakening Podcast

From Morning Star To Freedom - With Tyler Fulton

⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of high-control religious environments, spiritual manipulation, and unaccredited religious education. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Tyler Fulton — agnostic social worker, former charismatic, and a man who got the full MorningStar experience and lived to tell about it. Tyler's journey into the charismatic movement eventually landed him at MorningStar University in Fort Mill, South Carolina — the school founded by Rick Joyner, founder and executive director of MorningStar Ministries and a prominent figure in the Charismatic and New Apostolic Reformation movements, known for his emphasis on prophetic revelation, supernatural experiences, and apostolic authority. (AU) Tyler spills all of it — what campus life was actually like, how the institution operates, the fact that MorningStar University is not an accredited institution, and yes — he tells the story of how he came to know Rick Joyner's favorite whiskey. We are not going to spoil it. You just have to listen. Today Tyler is out of the charismatic world entirely and working as a social worker helping people in his local community. His story is equal parts eye-opening, absurd, and deeply human — and we loved every minute of this conversation. In This Episode, We Discuss: • How Tyler got pulled into the charismatic movement • What life was like as a student at MorningStar University • Why MorningStar University is not an accredited institution — and what that means for students • Rick Joyner, MorningStar Ministries, and the culture they've built • The moment Tyler knew it was time to leave • Life as an agnostic social worker on the other side of it all • And yes — Rick Joyner's favorite whiskey Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If you've ever been drawn into a movement that promised something transcendent and delivered something else entirely — you're not alone. The charismatic world is seductive, and leaving it can feel like losing everything. Tyler's story is a reminder that there is a full, meaningful life waiting on the other side. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] and Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] host The All About Nothing: Podcast [https://theallaboutnothing.com/], discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] and Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] host What The Pod Was That [https://whatthepodwasthat.com/] with Cari Simmons [https://twitter.com/cari_simmons], available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii [https://twitter.com/chicamii] on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land [https://wtwlpod.com/]. Check out Black White and Blue In the South [https://blackwhitebluesouth.captivate.fm/], With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking [https://linktr.ee/politicallyspeakingsc] with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast [https://the-preach-jacobs-podcast.captivate.fm/] is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media [https://the-awakening-podcast.captivate.fm/bigmediallc]

What The Church Covered Up: Surviving Earnest Angley With Azraela

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of cult involvement, suicidal ideation, child abuse, stalking, and murder. Cassandra Blondheim's story is discussed in detail. Please take care of yourself as you listen. This episode may not be appropriate for all audiences. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Azraela — a survivor of Ernest Angley's Grace Cathedral cult in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio — for a conversation that is as heartbreaking as it is necessary. Azraela shares her firsthand experience of abuse both at home and inside the church, and what it was like to grow up inside a high-control religious environment built around one man's unchecked power. Ernest Angley — the televangelist faith healer who built a megachurch empire — faced decades of allegations including sexual abuse, forced vasectomies and abortions, child labor violations, and a culture of silence and control that protected predators within his walls. Azraela also tells the story of her friend Cassandra Blondheim — a 15-year-old fellow church volunteer who was stalked and ultimately murdered in 1999 by a 27-year-old man named Shane Partin. Investigators found that Partin had been obsessed with Cassandra, and had been told repeatedly by her family and church members to leave the girl alone. At one point Angley suspended Partin from church activities, but then allowed him to return after a so-called healing session — after which Partin stabbed Cassandra to death. Angley's ministry later paid $100,000 in a settlement to Blondheim's family. (Wikipedia) (Roger Ebert) This is a story about what happens when institutions protect themselves instead of the people inside them. Cassandra deserved better. Azraela deserved better. And their stories deserve to be told. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Growing up inside Ernest Angley's Grace Cathedral • Abuse at home and within the church community • The culture of control, silence, and protection of predators inside high-control religious environments • The story of Cassandra Blondheim — and how the church's failure contributed to her death • Survival, healing, and speaking out Connect with Azraela: 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@azraela_the_hagatha Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com To Cassandra — you are not forgotten. To every survivor who has been silenced by a system that chose its reputation over your safety — we see you. Speaking these names out loud is an act of resistance. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] and Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] host The All About Nothing: Podcast [https://theallaboutnothing.com/], discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] and Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] host What The Pod Was That [https://whatthepodwasthat.com/] with Cari Simmons [https://twitter.com/cari_simmons], available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii [https://twitter.com/chicamii] on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land [https://wtwlpod.com/]. Check out Black White and Blue In the South [https://blackwhitebluesouth.captivate.fm/], With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking [https://linktr.ee/politicallyspeakingsc] with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast [https://the-preach-jacobs-podcast.captivate.fm/] is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media [https://the-awakening-podcast.captivate.fm/bigmediallc]

From Barbie Pink Walls To Freedom - With Heather Ford

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, religious abuse, rape, and systemic failure to protect children. Please take care of yourself as you listen. This episode may not be appropriate for all audiences. If you are a survivor in need of support: RAINN Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 | rainn.org Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453 This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Heather M. Ford — author of The Barbie Pink Walls That Kept My Secrets of Abuse — for one of the most difficult and most important conversations we have ever hosted on this show. Heather's story is one that the system failed to tell — and failed to stop. As a child she was placed with family, because family placement is often chosen over a child's safety. What followed was years of physical and sexual abuse carried out under the cover of religion, including repeated rape by a known predator who was invited into her home by her own aunt for so-called prayer sessions. The church didn't protect her. The system didn't protect her. And she survived anyway. Heather wrote her story down so it couldn't be buried again. Her book is an act of courage, and this conversation is an extension of that same courage. We are honored to hold space for it. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Heather's experience of abuse within a religious family placement • How religious environments enable and conceal abuse • The failure of family court systems to prioritize child safety • Trauma responses and how they were weaponized against her • Surviving, writing, and reclaiming her own story • What she wants survivors — and systems — to know Heather's Book: 📖 The Barbie Pink Walls That Kept My Secrets of Abuse: https://a.co/d/0avhCZeP Connect with Heather M. Ford: 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@religiouscultsurvivor06 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/religiouscultsurvivor1006 🎙️ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/033cAYDn0i2894hSdodWsf Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com To every survivor listening — what happened to you was not your fault. Your trauma responses were not the problem. You were a child who deserved protection, and the adults around you failed you. Heather's story is proof that survival is possible, that speaking is possible, and that your story belongs to you. You are not alone. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] and Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] host The All About Nothing: Podcast [https://theallaboutnothing.com/], discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] and Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] host What The Pod Was That [https://whatthepodwasthat.com/] with Cari Simmons [https://twitter.com/cari_simmons], available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii [https://twitter.com/chicamii] on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land [https://wtwlpod.com/]. Check out Black White and Blue In the South [https://blackwhitebluesouth.captivate.fm/], With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking [https://linktr.ee/politicallyspeakingsc] with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast [https://the-preach-jacobs-podcast.captivate.fm/] is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media [https://the-awakening-podcast.captivate.fm/bigmediallc]

The Pastor Who Left-With Kyle Butler

⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of religious deconstruction, patriarchy, atheism, and the impact of harmful belief systems on relationships and community. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Kyle Butler — former pastor, current atheist, and someone who is refreshingly unafraid to say exactly what he thinks. Kyle's deconstruction took him all the way out of faith entirely, and he's been doing the work of untangling what that means ever since — in his own life, in his relationships, and in the communities he's part of. We get into the messy, real territory of what religion does to dating and romantic relationships, how patriarchy shapes the way we connect with others, and what it actually looks like to shed beliefs that have caused harm — not just to ourselves but to the people around us. This is a honest, wide-ranging conversation that doesn't shy away from the hard questions. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Kyle's journey from pastor to atheist • What deconstruction looks like when it goes all the way • Religion, dating, and how faith shapes our relationship patterns • Patriarchy — how it's baked into religious culture and what it costs us • Shedding beliefs that harm us and our communities • Life on the other side of faith Connect with Kyle Butler: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kyle_talks23 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/17u5WZHL41/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kyle_talks Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If this episode brought up questions about your own relationships, beliefs, or sense of self — that's okay. Deconstruction touches everything, including the people we love and the ways we've been taught to love them. You're allowed to question all of it. You belong here. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] and Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] host The All About Nothing: Podcast [https://theallaboutnothing.com/], discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] and Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] host What The Pod Was That [https://whatthepodwasthat.com/] with Cari Simmons [https://twitter.com/cari_simmons], available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii [https://twitter.com/chicamii] on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land [https://wtwlpod.com/]. Check out Black White and Blue In the South [https://blackwhitebluesouth.captivate.fm/], With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking [https://linktr.ee/politicallyspeakingsc] with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast [https://the-preach-jacobs-podcast.captivate.fm/] is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media [https://the-awakening-podcast.captivate.fm/bigmediallc]

Can't Pray Me Away With Samuel Nieves

⚠️ Content Note: This episode includes discussion of conversion therapy, LGBTQIA+ religious harm, and trauma from high-control religious environments. Please care for yourself as you listen. This week on The Awakening, Tamara and I sit down with Samuel Nieves — conversion therapy survivor, advocate, and volunteer with the Conversion Therapy Survivor Network — for one of the most important conversations we've had on this show. Samuel's story is personal and it's political. He lived through conversion therapy, and rather than stay silent about it, he turned that experience into advocacy. Today he volunteers with the Conversion Therapy Survivor Network, a survivor-led 501(c)(3) organization building community and fighting for change at every level — including the Supreme Court. Their work was so significant that Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson cited the Conversion Therapy Survivor Network in her dissent in Chiles v. Salazar, the recent SCOTUS case involving Colorado's Minor Conversion Therapy Law. This is a conversation about survival, solidarity, and refusing to let the church's harm go unnamed. In This Episode, We Discuss: • Samuel's personal experience with conversion therapy • What conversion therapy actually is and how it works • The lasting harm it causes — spiritually, psychologically, and relationally • The work of the Conversion Therapy Survivor Network • The fight to ban conversion therapy at the legislative level • Why survivor voices matter in this moment Connect with Samuel & Support the Work: 🔗 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/cantpraymeaway 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CantPrayMeAway ✍️ Substack: https://cantpraymeaway.substack.com/ 💛 Donate to CTSN: https://www.conversionsurvivor.org/donate 🌐 Learn more about conversion therapy: https://www.conversionsurvivor.org/what-is-it Connect with Your Hosts: Heather: https://linktr.ee/Happyheathersmiles Tamara: TikTok @feralatheistjezebel321 | Instagram @tamarajo321 🎥 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningPodcast-w6s 📩 Be a guest: theawakeningpod@gmail.com If this episode brought up parts of your own story — know that what was done to you was not okay, and it was not your fault. You were never broken. You never needed to be fixed. There are people who see you, who have survived what you survived, and who are fighting so no one else has to go through it. You belong here exactly as you are. If you like what you here, check out other great pods on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] and Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] host The All About Nothing: Podcast [https://theallaboutnothing.com/], discussing everything from news and politics to entertainment and sports! All About Nothing, but All About Something too! Zac [https://linktr.ee/aanzac] and Barrett [https://linktr.ee/barrettgruber] host What The Pod Was That [https://whatthepodwasthat.com/] with Cari Simmons [https://twitter.com/cari_simmons], available everywhere you listen to podcasts. Take a deep dive down the rabbit hole with Amii [https://twitter.com/chicamii] on the pod Welcome to Wonder Land [https://wtwlpod.com/]. Check out Black White and Blue In the South [https://blackwhitebluesouth.captivate.fm/], With Dr. Jumelle Brooks and Bill Kimler! Politically Speaking [https://linktr.ee/politicallyspeakingsc] with Erica Sampson, Kirsten Pruitt, and Emily Mayer is a sharp, engaging podcast breaking down politics with insight, wit, and a fresh perspective. The Preach Jacobs Podcast [https://the-preach-jacobs-podcast.captivate.fm/] is hosted by Columbia South Carolina's very own Ambassador, Hiphop Artist, Columnist and Owner of SoulHAUS Art Gallery, Preach Jacobs! All of these fantastic podcasts can be found on the BIG Media LLC [https://bigmediallc.com/] Podcast Network! FAIR USE COPYRIGHT NOTICE The Copyright Laws of the United States recognize a "fair use" of copyrighted content. Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act states: NOTWITHSTANDING THE PROVISIONS OF SECTIONS 106 AND 106A, THE FAIR USE OF A COPYRIGHTED WORK, INCLUDING SUCH USE BY REPRODUCTION IN COPIES OR PHONO RECORDS OR BY ANY OTHER MEANS SPECIFIED BY THAT SECTION, FOR PURPOSES SUCH AS CRITICISM, COMMENT, NEWS REPORTING, TEACHING (INCLUDING MULTIPLE COPIES FOR CLASSROOM USE), SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH, IS NOT AN INFRINGEMENT OF COPYRIGHT. This Video/Audio in general may contain certain copyrighted works that were not specifically authorized to be used by the copyright holder(s), but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. If you have any specific concerns about this usage, or our position on the Fair Use Defense, please contact us at preachjacobs@gmail.com so we can discuss amicably. Thank you. Mentioned in this episode: BIG Media LLC Copyright 2026 BIG Media [https://the-awakening-podcast.captivate.fm/bigmediallc]