The Buddy System with Chris & Matty

21. Adam Gilbert! Our Buddy!

Our buddy Adam Gilbert (@adamgilbert__) is back in Chicago for a sold-out weekend and we got him in the studio. We arm him with a hatchet because and he tells the story of the night someone stole his suitcase out of his car outside the Hideout while he was on Molly, how Old Navy in Indianapolis got him through the rest of the road run, and the absolute farce that is trying to file a police report at the Logan Square station. Chris and Adam reconnect on meeting at Cream City Comedy Fest in 2016, comedy festivals as summer camp, and the brutal Tuesday-night logic of clubs putting headliners on slow nights. We do Cryptid of the Month with Mothman, the New Jersey Devil, and Adam's complete confusion about who Cthulhu is, which becomes a Katulu's-cock-behind-a-Patreon-paywall bit and the birth of NSFC (Not Safe For Cowards). Plus: hungover British accents in the Amtrak quiet car, Adam's first full year headlining and the tickets-tickets-tickets grind, his animal-penis Wikipedia spiral leading into a fully sober lecture about what tentacle porn is, bad Better Help teletherapists, and Adam going on record that Chicago tavern-style pizza beats New York pizza.

20. Will Matty Read This?

Our buddy Luke Null (SNL, "Pretty Songs Dirty Words" ft. Wayne Brady) is back at the studio and he and Chris have a new segment to debut: Will Matty Read It, where they pitch Matty a book and find out whether he'll actually read the thing. Luke goes first with Joe Abercrombie's Best Served Cold, a Kill Bill revenge novel set in the First Law universe with a numbers-obsessed sociopath named Friendly. Chris counters with Stephen King's Gerald's Game, the one about the woman handcuffed to the bed in a Maine cabin with a dead husband on the floor and a very tall man watching her from the corner, who the boys spend the rest of the episode calling Carl. Along the way they get into George R.R. Martin letting fan fiction of his own books trickle out, why The Dark Tower movie is the worst book adaptation ever made, the genius of The Stand's Boulder-versus-Vegas premise, and Matty workshopping his own forest fantasy novel on the spot with strict rules against robot shit and animal husbandry.

19. Cinco De Mayo

It's a spring double-holiday episode and Israel and Rob made sure Chris and Matty actually learned what the Battle of Puebla was about before they ran their mouths. From there: Mattie's iPhone alarm has ruined Bob Marley for him, he found a pile of dead flickers in Michigan and called the DNR, ramps are out, Chris recaps the Dallas / Tulsa / Portland / Eugene tour run, Texas writes everyone's textbooks, Homo sapiens vs Neanderthals (we won because we threw stuff), three new Favorite Animals including a monkey that looks like it got napalmed, Maeve buying a Costco pear tree that needs a buddy to fruit, an amphibious bike with big old titties (patent pending), and Oregon rocks for Treasure of the Week.

18. Sam Rocha! Our Buddy!

Comedian Sam Rocha (@samhandleyrocha) joins us and the conversation goes everywhere. Sam moved from Santa Barbara to Chicago to study comedy at Columbia, AOC followed her after her political campaign manager sketch, and her commitment to Mariah Carey is unmatched on this earth. We get into the airline that genuinely forgot to book a pilot, the time Matty got chewed out by a pilot for trying to smoke a cigarette on the runway as a teenager, Chris's new Cat Bird ring, Matty's potentially 10,000-year-old arrowhead, picking your daemon if you lived in The Golden Compass, a 103-acre wallaby island for sale in Scotland that's allegedly full of homophobic wallabies, Things We Wrote Down™, the delivery robot surveillance soft launch theory, and the time Sam tried to convince ChatGPT that Mariah Carey was a hero of 9/11.

17. 4/20

Chris and Matty celebrate the most sacred of stoner holidays with an hour of weed stories, childhood chaos, and brand new cryptid content. From Chris kayaking to school in Boulder to Matty dodging undercover cops on the South Side of Chicago, the guys trade their wildly different paths to becoming functioning adult stoners. Plus, the debut of Cryptid of the Month featuring the Not Deer and Champy, a detour into Nepal's time zone situation, and the discovery that dwarf metal is a real genre of music.