Creating and Nurturing an Inclusive Church Environment for Autistic Adults
In this episode of the neurodivergent Bible teaching podcast, I go over some practical ways to create and nurture and inclusive church environment for autistic adults. I have found that in my conversations with other autistic adults and neurodivergent adults there is a common theme of us, not feeling as though we belong in church. While we may be welcomed, we often feel as though we have to mask our neurodivergent needs in order to be accepted in church. Feel free to send this episode to a pastor, church, leader, ministry, leader, volunteer leader or church member so that they can receive ideas on how to create and nurture inclusive environments within their church for autistic adults or pray about which idea you’d like to discuss with someone wiwithin your church. While I mention these ideas are for autistic adults, they can be utilized to create and nurture inclusive environments of belonging for Christian neurodivergent adults. I’d love to hear your experience about what’s reminded you that you belong in church. Message me: @deneamarable on instagram.
Transcript:
0:01 - 0:58
Hello, it's Denea, your host of the Neurodivergent Bible Teaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to helping you understand how to study the Bible. I'm Denea, I'm neurodivergent, I'm autistic, I have ADHD and OCD, and I know what it's like to struggle to understand how to study the Bible, let alone also honoring my brain while doing it. I've learned a few things through seminary, um, through life, and I want to share those things with you. In this podcast, you will hear all about, um, studying techniques, some Bible studies so you can understand how to apply those techniques, some neurodivergent encouragement, and just some ways that I'm learning to honor the way that God has created my brain I'm so happy that you're here.
1:00 - 1:00
Let's get started.
1:05 - 1:34
Hello, hello, it's Denea, host of the Neurodivergent Bible Teaching Podcast. I hope that wherever you are, you are able to just for a moment be where your feet are. And what I mean by that is, okay, so, you know, I can't just tell you a story. I have to give you context. Is anybody else like that?
1:35 - 2:13
I have to, I have to kind of preface the story before I tell it to you. So last week I was out of town. I was actually doing two presentations at the Disability in the Church Conference. It's put on by the Shine Foundation and also Key Ministry. It's for church leaders, pastors, uh, volunteers, just advocates of change for disability to talk about, um, what we can do, what we are doing that can grow disability ministries all over the world.
2:13 - 2:29
That was one of the cool things about it. It wasn't just in the United States. It was all over the world, and y'all had a great time. I felt so anxious. I felt, I felt so anxious the whole week because I was out of my routine.
2:30 - 3:01
Um, I felt anxious because I am most likely gonna have to have surgery for endometriosis. Um, we're trying to figure out like the date for that, and I felt anxious for other things that are— that I'm thinking about, like, in the future, right? And they're good things. I feel like a lot of times when we talk about what we're— what we're feeling anxious about, like, we try to downplay them, um, but some— like, sometimes those things are valid, right? And the things I was feeling very, very anxious about, they were all about in the future.
3:01 - 3:30
were, They um, very valid things. But I had to remind myself, and I really feel like this was like God, um, because he didn't like shame me, or he, you know, he didn't tell me, um, that those things I wasn't worried— that I was worried about— he wasn't like, oh, Danae, those things aren't important. He was like, Danae, just be where your feet are, like right, right, right here for, for this moment. Can you focus? Can you work at being present where you are?
3:31 - 4:03
Um, you know, that might be like a grounding technique, or that might be a breathing technique, that might be noticing the trees or the leaves around me or the room around me. Um, or like the doors, or just being— just coming back to the present. And I hope that today you can do that for yourself, because I do— I really do believe that's a gift, um, that God wants us to have. I think that's a big— just being in the present when we can, you know. I think that's such a great gift that God wants to give us.
4:04 - 4:34
And there are a lot of things that happen in that moment, right? There's a there's sometimes this peace about maybe something that we're feeling anxious about, God's peace that overwhelms us. Maybe we start to feel joy as we listen to the birds right where we are. Maybe we start to realize, you know, how special that moment is just by bringing ourselves back to the present. So I hope that you're able to do that today.
4:35 - 5:25
Um, today's episode is going to be on making— how can we make, create, um, and nurture environments for autistic adults? And really, I'm saying autistic adults, um, but to be honest with you, I think this episode could be for neurodivergent individuals in general, neurodivergent adults. Um, because I— what I've found is, and this was a key point in the conference, like, there's a difference between welcoming and belonging, right? Like, when you go to a church, there is usually a— some sort of welcome team. Somebody's opening the doors for you, um, maybe handing out a pamphlet.
5:25 - 6:13
Somebody's waving at you. But belonging, especially for us who are neurodivergent, we feel like we belong when we can be ourselves, right? Like when we're not masking in church, when we feel accepted in the church, when we feel like we don't need to mask or hide or diminish ourselves, our true neurodivergent selves, that's when we start to feel like we belong. Like when people want us there fully as we are. And so I'm going to talk about a few things, um, that church leaders, church pastors, volunteers, or maybe you can bring this to, um, a member of your church.
6:13 - 6:54
Maybe you can bring these ideas to them and kind of collaborate and see how you can incorporate— pray about it first and then see how you can incorporate them into your church. So most of you know Um, I'm neurodivergent. I'm autistic, ADHD, OCD, and complex PTSD. And I think that as I start to have more conversations, usually like online, with other, um, neurodivergent Christians just about church, a lot of us tend to disengage in church because we don't really feel like we belong. We feel like we have to hide ourselves.
6:55 - 7:23
And so in order to create an inclusive environment, one that is of true belonging, I believe that it starts, number one, with this mindset that comes from scripture. It's 1 Corinthians 12:12. For context, it's talking about the body of Christ. I'm reading from the NLT version. The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body.
7:23 - 7:41
So it is with the body of Christ. And it's a mindset that says, okay, there's diversity within the body of Christ. There is supposed to be diversity within the body of Christ. It should be embraced.
7:43 - 7:51
It's a mindset that also says that all members of the body of Christ are valued.
7:53 - 8:30
It's a mindset that says there's interdependence within the body of Christ. We need each other as members of one body. We need each other, but interdependence is tough when parts of the body are being excluded. Excluded how? Well, one of the, um, common narratives about why autistic adults, about why, um, neurodivergent Christians disengage from church is because of the worship experience.
8:30 - 8:51
It's too loud. It's, it's too loud. Lights are too bright. And so if we are talking about creating an inclusive environment, right, it means creating a worship experience, an environment where we are allowed to care for our neurodivergent needs. We don't have to mask.
8:51 - 9:35
And I think practically what that looks like, number one, if a church has multiple worship experiences have one of those experiences. You can have one of those experiences, preferably both, but let's just start with one that is a designated sensory worship experience. This means, say for example, you got a 9 o'clock, you got an 11 o'clock. At 9 o'clock, sensory worship experience where we are going to play the music softer, we're going to dim the lights as well, If you don't have multiple worship experiences, that's totally fine. Can you have headphones when people come in?
9:35 - 9:50
Can you have fidgets? Can you have earplugs when people come in? Can you have, um, like notepads or something for us to, to kind of doodle with? That's another form of like, uh, stimming, right? Drawing or doodling.
9:50 - 10:18
Can you have that? Because when that is at the door Right, as we are coming in, we see, oh, okay, I'm allowed to stim while I worship, right? And that's a hint, that's a reminder to us that we belong. But we need to be, as you are planning your worship sets, right, you know you're gonna have worship. Like, that's a given.
10:20 - 10:58
We need to be in that planning process, not as an afterthought. We need to be in that planning process. Another area I think, um, that is an opportunity to create an inclusive environment is through discipling and teaching. Y'all, autistic individuals need to be— we need to be discipled and we need to be taught. When people are teaching autistic adults, I think one of the great ways to make your curriculum inclusive is whenever you, you finish your, your teaching and you're like, does anybody have any questions?
10:59 - 11:46
And nobody raises their hand, one of the best things you can do is not— don't assume we didn't get anything out of it just because we didn't raise our hand. As autistic adults, a lot of us, we have what's called a complex processing system, this means that we are taking in so much information at once, usually more than we're even aware of, and we need time to process the information that we're taking in. So for example, we could be taking in a lesson. We could also be taking in, um, the sound of the choir practicing down the hall. We, we could be taking in the sound of the electricity.
11:47 - 12:06
We could— like, there are multiple things all at once, right? Our body, we might be feeling hungry. Like, there are so many different sensations, and there's a lot of information that we are often taking in at once. If we— our body, our minds, we need more time to process that because it is a lot of information. So don't assume we didn't get anything.
12:07 - 13:01
Matter of fact, after you ask that question, if there are no no questions, one of the best things you can do is say, "If you have a question later on this week, this month, in the future, here's how you can reach out to me," and give your email address or contact information. And then when we come to you with our questions, receive them with curiosity and not judgment. So a lot of times we tend to connect as neurodivergent Christians, we tend to connect information, especially when we're learning, to things that are relevant to us. So it could be something that we heard someone say years ago, or it could be connected to a special interest or something that we're— a hobby or something that we're really into at the moment. And to you it might seem random, but I promise you, to us it is connected.
13:03 - 13:47
So one of the best things. And that's why I think that let— giving us the space, allowing us to have this room to process information, you are giving us freedom to process information in ways that honor how our brains work. And it takes the pressure off. I cannot tell you how demanding it feels whenever I am learning something new. I feel so much pressure to get it right away And then I can kind of sense when somebody is frustrated with me because I'm not getting it, and then I start to get frustrated, and now I have to figure out how to regulate my— like, it— and when you give us space, when we are given space to process information, it is a gift.
13:48 - 14:02
And as teachers, especially in God's house, like, that, that is something that should be done. Incorporating, uh, creativity with teaching. So this might look like singing, dancing, acting, drawing.
14:05 - 14:59
This helps us actually, while we're learning something new, this helps us regulate our nervous system. Remember, don't assume just because we're, you know, playing with a, with a fidget, um, where we're drawing, we're sketching, uh, we're rocking, don't assume we're not paying attention. Incorporating creativity with a lesson is a great way to help us stay regulated while we're learning something new because again we're processing a lot of information and then we can be really tough on ourselves when we don't get it right away. And so when we are— when there's some type of creativity incorporated it helps us stay regulated. I would love for churches to have Bible study groups, connection groups for autistic adults, for neurodivergent adults.
14:59 - 15:47
And I say this because I think honestly there are a lot more neurodivergent adults attending churches, but we, we just don't know of any other neurodivergent adults, you know, like unless somebody tells us, we don't— we may not know. And so we feel very much alone. Being a neurodivergent adult, it can be a very lonely experience. And I think that the church should really set the tone and the standard for community, creating a community of belonging. Um, and I think this is one way it can be done, by specifically having connection groups, um, whatever you call them in your church, Bible study groups for autistic adults.
15:47 - 16:43
And you know what, cultivate connection here. Let us have a session where we were able to talk about our special interest, you know, like, let, let us be us. Again, it has to be cultivated, it has to be intentionally done, and be willing to learn as you go and make adjustments. I think sometimes it's easy to have a teaching lesson, a teaching plan, and then when it doesn't go that way, you get frustrated and you keep pushing it, you keep pushing it, and it doesn't go the way that you wanted for whatever reason. Well, with autistic adults, with neurodivergent adults, I think it is really important to be flexible and to make adjustments because our might capacity be very low.
16:43 - 17:01
Maybe there's an autistic individual who's just had a week of masking, right? Like, we've all been there. It is physically, mentally, and spiritually draining. And you know what? That person is not— they're not going to get your lesson, most likely.
17:01 - 17:26
Not because of they're not intelligent, because it's, it's because they're tired, right? Have you ever tried to teach somebody something when they're tired. You might need to adjust your curriculum in order to honor that person. Don't keep pushing the lesson if you see that that person is, is just creating more frustration and much more frustrated. Don't push it on them.
17:27 - 17:50
You need to adjust your curriculum in order to honor what that person needs at that moment. That person needs regulation, not a curriculum at that moment. Serving. I think that is another area of opportunity for the church to create belonging and inclusive spaces. Y'all, allow us to serve in STEM.
17:52 - 18:27
I will never forget, there was one church, uh, that we went to when I signed up to be a greeter, and the person who was teaching me was I could sense her frustration. I could sense she was getting frustrated with me because I wasn't doing it the way that she was. I'll be honest, I found that experience very overwhelming. It was like I could not keep up with every interaction. Like, I, I was trying, I was trying to, but then like I was, I was at a point in my neurodivergent journey where I was still like forcing myself to look people in the eye.
18:28 - 18:41
And I felt so overwhelmed. It was a huge sensory overwhelming experience for me, and she kept getting frustrated with me. And I will tell you, eventually what happened was I just stopped showing up.
18:43 - 18:53
So when you allow us to serve, allow us to serve and stim, we might not look people in the eye when we're serving. That's okay. It's still holy.
18:55 - 19:15
We might not serve— our serving, it might not look like everyone around us, but it is still holy and it is still valuable and impactful to the kingdom of God. Be patient with us as we're learning new things, as we're trying something new, as we're getting outside of our comfort zone. Be patient with us. Encourage us.
19:18 - 19:24
So in conclusion, we need to be included, not an afterthought. And how worship experiences will go.
19:26 - 20:22
Be willing— if we're talking about how to nurture, right? We've— let's say we've created, um, an inclusive environment and there's belonging. When we talk about nurturing, this is how you nurture an environment that is inclusive to autistic adults, to neurodivergent Christians. Be willing to listen and learn to the autistic voices, to the neurodivergent voices within your church, and make adjustments as needed to remind us that we belong. When pastors, church leaders, ministry leaders, volunteers, members of the church are willing to listen and learn to us, and willing to include us in the decisions that are being made about that ministry, about that group.
20:23 - 20:53
That's how you nurture an inclusive environment, by listening to us, by including us in the planning, by letting us make decisions. Let autistic adults serve in leadership positions. Let neurodivergent serve adults in leadership positions. And then when we give you our feedback, be willing to adjust, right? It can't sometimes— the reason can't be we're going to do this just because this is the way that it's always been done.
20:54 - 21:00
That can't be it. That's not how we nurture inclusive environments of belonging. That's not it.
21:04 - 21:25
There are holy interactions that can occur through autistic individuals. It doesn't matter where we fall on the spectrum. Through neurodivergent individuals, it doesn't matter what neurodivergent experience we have. It doesn't matter where we fall on the neurodivergent spectrum. There can be holy interactions that can occur through us.
21:26 - 21:30
We are a part of the Great Commission, right? We have been called.
21:32 - 21:39
We can't evangelize. We need to be taught and we need to be discipled.
21:42 - 22:18
When people within a church are not being taught, discipled, um, basically that sends a message of exclusion when the kingdom of God is all about inclusion. That's why some of the religious leaders in that day in Jesus's day when he walked the earth. That's why some of them were so upset with him, right? Because they were like, no, not everybody's actually worthy of God's forgiveness, of being holy, right, of being righteous. And here was Jesus ushering in the kingdom of heaven and being like, no, it's actually open to everyone.
22:20 - 22:25
The people that you've pushed aside, ignored— no, no, no, no, God, God welcomes them.
22:27 - 23:10
Autistic adults, Christian neurodivergents, neurodivergent adults, individuals, we are filled with purpose. We are a part of the kingdom of heaven and we have holy work to do. When you do, as a church leader, ministry leader, pastor, disability ministry leader, volunteer, member of a church, When there is intentionality to create and nurture environments, you remind us of this, that we have holy work to do and that we're needed, right? That's that interdependence. Like, we would be missed in the kingdom of heaven.
23:10 - 23:12
We are needed. We're valued too.
23:14 - 23:50
That is it for today's episode. Send this to someone, um, if you know that they are ministry leader, church leader, or you can pray about it and take it to someone within your church and pray on how to start incorporating this. Like, I, I was so motivated, right, to last week to have, um, I was like, I— okay, okay, God, I hear you. I need to have— I need to have a member— I need to request a meeting with with my pastor. Got it, noted.
23:50 - 24:22
Like, I, I felt that in my spirit, um, last week. And I encourage you to pray and, um, you know, ask for wisdom and discernment on how you can do this where you are. I would love to hear your thoughts if you do take it to someone, send it to someone, and like somehow incorporate something that I talked about, or maybe it was something else. I would love to hear about it. Let's spread some really cheerful news.
24:23 - 24:31
You can message me on Instagram @deneamarable. I love you, and I will talk to you next time. Bye!
