The Real Reason Your Habits Aren't Sticking (And What to Do Instead)

How to Build a Support System When You Feel Like You Have No One

Most high performers don't lose their community. They outgrow it. After my divorce, I found myself a newly single mom of a five-month-old in a brand-new neighborhood on Long Island - two counties and a 45-minute train ride away from every friend and every person who had ever supported me. And not one of them understood abuse, divorce or single motherhood. I wasn't lacking people. I was lacking the right people for the season of life I was in. In this episode, I'm sharing exactly how I built my community from scratch - including the Facebook group story that started it all and the step-by-step framework you can use to do the same, even if you're an introvert or ambivert like me. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: * Why most high performers don't lose their community - they outgrow it * My personal story of starting over on Long Island after leaving an abusive marriage and how a random Facebook post changed everything * Why community isn't something you find - it's something you build * Why getting specific about what you need is the fastest way to build the right community * How to identify exactly who you need more of in your life right now * Why your support system doesn't always have to be free and why that's perfectly okay * Real examples of what community building looks like after a loss, a promotion or having a baby * How to network strategically - not broadly - to find the right people for the life you're building * Why following up within a week is the difference between a connection and a missed opportunity * How to nurture relationships so they become win-wins for everyone involved * How to know when it's time to outgrow a relationship and why that's healthy TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The question that sparked this episode: how do you build a community when you don't have one? 00:30 — Why most high performers outgrow their community rather than lose it 01:00 — My personal story: newly single mom, new neighborhood, zero community 02:00 — Why having people around you isn't the same as having the right people 03:00 — The Facebook group story: how one comment changed everything 05:00 — How the South Shore Single Moms group grew from beach meetups to wine tours and big events 05:45 — What that community did for me when I was burning out from a 20-hour weekly commute 06:00 — Community isn't found. It's built. 06:30 — Why getting specific about your needs is the fastest path to the right community 07:00 — How to think about your personal board of advisors and who fills those roles 07:30 — Why your support system can include people you pay and why that's not a cop-out 08:00 — What community building looks like after losing a loved one 09:00 — What community building looks like after a big promotion 09:30 — What community building looks like after having a baby 11:00 — How to network strategically online groups, in-person events, associations and more 12:00 — Why following up within a week is non-negotiable 12:30 — How to build and nurture relationships that are win-wins for everyone 13:00 — Full recap: how to find your people and build your circle from scratch 13:30 — How to grab The Five Overwhelm Culprits™ book + ways to work with Corrie NEXT STEP OPTIONS: ✔️ Take the Overwhelm Culprit Quiz: www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit] ✔️ Order my book: http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook] ✔️ Connect with Me on Social: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo] Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo] Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo] LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo [http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo] YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo] ✔️ Visit my Website: www.corrielo.com [http://www.corrielo.com/] ✔️ Book me to Speak: www.corrielo.com/speaking [http://www.corrielo.com/speaking] ✔️ Enroll in Coaching: www.corrielo.com/coaching [http://www.corrielo.com/coaching] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: Don't miss future episodes where we dive deeper into topics like leadership, personal growth, and turning challenges into opportunities. Hit that subscribe button and join the journey to confident leadership! ✔️ Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-step-with-corrie-lo/id1789032982] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4hXHnylbsuyVR1XizW6DL7] ✔️ Subscribe on YouTube Podcasts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R]

How to Get Promoted Without Feeling Like You're Bragging

So many high performers - especially women - stay stuck watching less qualified people get promoted. Not because they aren't ready. But because they're waiting for their work to speak for itself. Here's the truth: your work gets you credibility. But visibility is what gets you promoted. This question came up during one of my Overwhelm Culprit™ workshops and it's one I hear constantly. In this episode, I'm sharing the exact three-part framework I use with my coaching and advisory clients to help them secure a promotion - without feeling like they're bragging. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: * Why your work alone won't get you promoted and what actually will * Why nearly half of all workers have made it known they don't want promotions and why that works in your favor * What the 150% rule is and why you need to know it before you pursue a promotion * My three-part Data, Communication, and Visibility framework for securing a promotion * What data to collect, how to track it and why it's not bragging when it's backed by proof * How to use the Simone Biles mindset when it comes to advocating for yourself * Why you should be researching roles at other companies - even if you don't plan to apply * How to bring up your desire for a promotion in one-on-ones without it feeling awkward * The difference between a mentor and a sponsor and why a sponsor is the one who gets you promoted * Why visibility isn't about being everywhere - it's about being seen by the right people * Why confidence is the foundation of all of this and how the framework helps you build it TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The question that sparked this episode: how do you self-promote for a promotion? 00:30 — Why high performers stay stuck waiting for their work to speak for itself 01:00 — Why visibility - not performance - is what gets you promoted 01:15 — The stat that changes everything: nearly half of all workers don't even want a promotion 01:30 — The 150% rule: what it is and why it matters before you pursue a promotion 02:00 — If you're already doing the work but not getting recognized - here's why 02:30 — Introduction to the Data, Communication and Visibility framework 03:00 — Data: what to track, how to document it and why impact matters more than activity 03:45 — Why it's not bragging if it's proven data - the Simone Biles quote that says it all 04:30 — How to use your data to prove you already meet the 150% rule 04:45 — Why researching roles at other companies gives you objective market data 05:30 — Communication: how to make your wins known in meetings and one-on-ones 06:00 — How to proactively bring up your career progression - without waiting for your boss to do it 06:30 — How to ask your boss exactly what measurable results are needed for a promotion 07:00 — Visibility: why it's about being seen by the right people - not just being everywhere 07:15 — How to secure a sponsor who will bring your name up in rooms you're not in 07:45 — How to build relationships with decision makers - virtually or in person 08:00 — The underrated visibility tip nobody talks about: dress for the role you want 08:15 — Why applying to roles at other organizations gives you options and leverage 08:45 — Full recap of the Data, Communication and Visibility framework 09:30 — Why confidence is the real foundation - and how this framework helps you build it 10:00 — How to grab The Five Overwhelm Culprits™ book + ways to work with Corrie NEXT STEP OPTIONS: ✔️ Take the Overwhelm Culprit Quiz: www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit] ✔️ Order my book: http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook] ✔️ Connect with Me on Social: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo] Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo] Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo] LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo [http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo] YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo] Substack: https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/ [https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/] ✔️ Visit my Website: www.corrielo.com [http://www.corrielo.com/] ✔️ Book me to Speak: www.corrielo.com/speaking [http://www.corrielo.com/speaking] ✔️ Enroll in Coaching: www.corrielo.com/coaching [http://www.corrielo.com/coaching] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: Don't miss future episodes where we dive deeper into topics like leadership, personal growth, and turning challenges into opportunities. Hit that subscribe button and join the journey to confident leadership! ✔️ Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-step-with-corrie-lo/id1789032982] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4hXHnylbsuyVR1XizW6DL7] ✔️ Subscribe on YouTube Podcasts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R]

How to Figure Out Your Values When Nothing Feels Clear

If every decision feels harder than it should - or you keep making choices that look right on paper but feel completely off - there's a good chance you don't know your personal values. Or more likely, you do know them. You've just been overriding them. This question came up during a private event Q&A while I was leading a values exercise, and it's one I hear all the time: what do you do when you can't define your values? In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly how to identify yours - and how to use them as a tool to lead, decide, and set boundaries with so much more ease. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: * Why not knowing your values leads to reduced performance, poor decision making, and lowered motivation * Why most people don't actually need to find their values - they just need to stop overriding them * Why values are the most powerful tool for alignment - in your career, your relationships, and your community * How personal values work as a decision-making filter - and why they make the hard calls so much easier * How values make it easier to set and hold boundaries with confidence * The difference between your intuition and your ego - and why it matters when selecting your values * How to use my 105-value worksheet to identify your top four personal values today * Why your values today may look completely different than they did five or ten years ago - and why that's perfectly normal * How to pressure test your values by running real decisions through them * Why you don't need to get this perfect the first time - and how to know when you've got the right ones TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The question that sparked this episode: what do you do when you can't define your values? 00:30 — Why the real problem usually isn't that you don't know your values - it's that you're overriding them 01:00 — Why values and leadership go hand in hand 01:30 — How values help you find the right organization, community, and people to surround yourself with 02:00 — Why values are the easiest way to make difficult decisions 02:30 — Why values make setting boundaries so much easier 03:00 — My personal values: family, career, health, and travel 03:30 — How to use the 105-value worksheet to identify your top four 04:00 — Why this process can feel overwhelming - and how to take the pressure off 04:30 — Why your values shift over time - and my personal example of how mine changed after becoming a parent 05:00 — The intuition vs. ego framework: how to tell which voice to listen to when selecting your values 06:00 — How to use intuition as your filter - and why ego gets in the way 06:30 — How to pressure test your values by running decisions through them 07:30 — Recap: why values are a non-negotiable leadership skill 08:00 — How to get started today - and a reminder that you can always change your values as you grow 08:30 — How to grab The Five Overwhelm Culprits™ book + ways to work with Corrie NEXT STEP OPTIONS: ✔️ Discover Your Values Worksheet: http://www.corrielo.com/episode-63 [http://www.corrielo.com/episode-63] ✔️ Take the Overwhelm Culprit Quiz: www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit] ✔️ Connect with Me on Social: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo] Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo] Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo] LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo [http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo] YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo] Substack:https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/ [https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/] ✔️ Visit my Website: www.corrielo.com [http://www.corrielo.com/] ✔️ Book me to Speak: www.corrielo.com/speaking [http://www.corrielo.com/speaking] ✔️ Enroll in Coaching: www.corrielo.com/coaching [http://www.corrielo.com/coaching] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: Don't miss future episodes where we dive deeper into topics like leadership, personal growth, and turning challenges into opportunities. Hit that subscribe button and join the journey to confident leadership! ✔️ Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-step-with-corrie-lo/id1789032982] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4hXHnylbsuyVR1XizW6DL7] ✔️ Subscribe on YouTube Podcasts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R]

The 5 Overwhelm Culprits™️ | What I Got Wrong the First Time

After my TEDx talk in 2020, I said something on stage that I no longer believe to be true. I said that I never felt overwhelmed. Looking back - that wasn't accurate. I just didn't recognize how it was showing up for me. And that's exactly the problem with high performers. We don't think we're overwhelmed. We think we're just pushing through. In this episode, I'm setting the record straight on what I got wrong about overwhelm and what I know now that changes everything. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: * What I said in my TEDx talk that I no longer believe - and why it matters * Why high performers are often the last to recognize they're overwhelmed * The three things I got completely wrong about overwhelm when I first built this framework * Why overwhelm doesn't always look like chaos - and what it actually looks like in high performers * Why awareness alone is not enough to fix overwhelm * Why overwhelm is not a personal problem - it's a capacity and systems problem * A full breakdown of all Five Overwhelm Culprits™ and how each one keeps you stuck * Why high performers don't slow down when overwhelmed - they push harder, and why that's where the real problem starts * Why overwhelm doesn't go away because life gets easier - it goes away when your strategy matches your reality * What actually needs to change to fix overwhelm for good TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — What I got wrong in my 2020 TEDx talk about overwhelm 01:00 — Where the Five Overwhelm Culprits™ framework came from - and the personal story behind it 02:00 — How I was experiencing overwhelm without recognizing it 03:00 — The three things I believed about overwhelm that turned out to be wrong 04:00 — Why overwhelm isn't always chaos - it can look like over-functioning and emotional numbness 05:00 — Why awareness without the right systems doesn't actually change anything 05:30 — Why overwhelm is a capacity and systems problem - not a time management problem 06:30 — A full breakdown of the Five Overwhelm Culprits™: Clarity, Confidence, Community, Conditioning and Consistency 08:00 — Why high performers push harder instead of slowing down — and why that's where it gets dangerous 08:30 — What "feeling weird" actually means - and why overwhelm doesn't always feel like stress 09:00 — How my life changed after the TEDx - and what I learned navigating it through the framework 10:00 — The real fix: changing your strategy to match your current reality 10:30 — How to grab The Five Overwhelm Culprits™ book + ways to work with Corrie NEXT STEP OPTIONS: ✔️ Order my book: http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook] ✔️ Take the Overwhelm Culprit Quiz: www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit] ✔️ Connect with Me on Social: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo] Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo] Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo] LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo [http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo] YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo] Substack: https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/ [https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/] ✔️ Visit my Website: www.corrielo.com [http://www.corrielo.com/] ✔️ Book me to Speak: www.corrielo.com/speaking [http://www.corrielo.com/speaking] ✔️ Enroll in Coaching: www.corrielo.com/coaching [https://www.corrielo.com/coaching] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: Don't miss future episodes where we dive deeper into topics like leadership, personal growth, and turning challenges into opportunities. Hit that subscribe button and join the journey to confident leadership! ✔️ Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-step-with-corrie-lo/id1789032982] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4hXHnylbsuyVR1XizW6DL7] ✔️ Subscribe on YouTube Podcasts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R]

The Real Reason Your Habits Aren't Sticking (And What to Do Instead)

How many times have you committed to a new habit, given it everything you had - and then watched it fall apart? And then told yourself you just weren't disciplined enough? I've been there. And I want to set the record straight: it is not a discipline problem. The real reason your habits aren't sticking is because you're treating behavior change like a one-time decision instead of an ongoing experiment. In this episode, I'm breaking down what the data actually says about habit formation - and the simple framework I use to build habits that actually stick. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE: * The real reason your habits aren't sticking - and why it has nothing to do with discipline * Why 40–43% of our daily behaviors run on autopilot and what that means for behavior change * The actual data on habit formation - and why the "21 days" rule is completely wrong * Why struggling with consistency isn't the exception - it's the norm, and the numbers back it up * Why you need to stop treating habit change like a one-time decision and start treating it like an experiment * How to identify the specific pattern you're trying to change * How to run a small, controlled test instead of overhauling your entire life at once * The five things to observe when your habit starts to break down: time, energy, environment, boundaries and support * My personal case study: how I finally got consistent with working out after years of experimenting * Why consistency isn't repetition - it's refinement TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The question that sparked this episode: how do you stay consistent with deep-rooted patterns? 00:45 — Why this is so hard: 40–43% of daily behaviors run on autopilot 01:30 — The data on behavior change: why 88% of people fail to maintain new habits 02:00 — The truth about habit formation: it takes 59–100+ days, not 21 02:30 — You're not failing - you're quitting right before your brain catches up 03:00 — The real reason your habits aren't sticking: you're not experimenting enough 03:30 — How entrepreneurs approach failure - and what it teaches us about habit change 04:00 — Step 1: Identify the specific pattern you want to change 04:30 — Step 2: Run a small, controlled test 05:00 — Step 3: Observe what breaks - time, energy, environment, boundaries, support 06:30 — Step 4: Adjust the variable that failed - don't abandon the habit 07:00 — Step 5: Repeat the process until it becomes autopilot 07:30 — My personal workout habit case study: what finally worked after years of experimenting 08:00 — Recap: consistency is refinement, not repetition 08:30 — Ways to work with Corrie + pre-order The Five Overwhelm Culprits™ NEXT STEP OPTIONS: ✔️ Preorder my book: http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculpritbook] ✔️ Take the Overwhelm Culprit Quiz: www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit [http://www.corrielo.com/overwhelmculprit] ✔️ Connect with Me on Social: Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.facebook.com/iamcorrielo] Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.instagram.com/iamcorrielo] Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.twitter.com/iamcorrielo] LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo [http://www.linkedin.com/in/iamcorrielo] YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo [http://www.youtube.com/iamcorrielo] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamcorrielo] Substack: https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/ [https://iamcorrielo.substack.com/] ✔️ Visit my Website: www.corrielo.com [http://www.corrielo.com/] ✔️ Book me to Speak: www.corrielo.com/speaking [http://www.corrielo.com/speaking] ✔️ Enroll in Coaching: www.corrielo.com/coaching [http://www.corrielo.com/coaching] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: Don't miss future episodes where we dive deeper into topics like leadership, personal growth, and turning challenges into opportunities. Hit that subscribe button and join the journey to confident leadership! ✔️ Subscribe to the Podcast: Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-next-step-with-corrie-lo/id1789032982] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4hXHnylbsuyVR1XizW6DL7] ✔️ Subscribe on YouTube Podcasts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2iLLfzM7QKFoP2JFPE41hUl1SVHcH3IF&si=Fk3ZsBem6xBLRF1R]