The Vibrant Marriage Podcast

The 5 Situations that a Couples Therapist Can’t Really Help

Some marriage problems aren't fixed by better communication skills or a good therapist — they require something else entirely first. In this episode, Rachel gets honest about the five situations where couples therapy either won't work or isn't the right first step: domestic violence, unresolved infidelity, active addiction, personality disorders, and complex trauma. You'll learn why jumping straight into couples work in these situations can actually make things worse — and what needs to happen instead. Whether you're in the thick of one of these situations yourself or watching someone you love struggle, this episode will help you name what you're dealing with and find the right kind of help. Resources and hotlines mentioned in this episode are listed at vibrantmarriage.co/podcast - look for Episode 18.

The Real Reason Marriage is So Hard: A Biblical Look at Brokenness, Redemption & What Marriage Can Really Be

Have you ever wondered why marriage is so much harder than you expected — even when you love your person? In Episode 17, Rachel puts on her armchair theologian hat to explore the real reason marriage is hard: not compatibility issues or unmet expectations, but the comprehensive brokenness that touches every corner of life and every human relationship. She walks through the four key themes of the biblical story — Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Consummation — and unpacks what they mean for the day-to-day realities of married life. Why did intimacy become so scary? Why do we wound the people we love most? Why does marriage feel lonely when it was supposed to feel like home? But this episode doesn't stop at the hard stuff. Rachel also shares the hopeful, redemptive vision for what marriage can be — drawing on Paul David Tripp's What Did You Expect? and a stunning passage from Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage that just might give you goosebumps. Books mentioned: The True Story of the Whole World (Bartholomew & Goheen), What Did You Expect? (Paul David Tripp), The Meaning of Marriage (Tim Keller).

Why Your Marriage Feels Like a Business Partnership (and How to Get the Friendship Back)

Does your marriage feel more like a business partnership than a friendship lately? You're not alone — and it doesn't have to stay that way. In Episode 16, therapist and relationship coach Rachel Engels unpacks the four most common reasons couples drift toward the "roommate dynamic," including the neuroscience behind why the butterflies fade, the survival-mode trap, the imbalance of who's actually doing the relationship work, and the fear of being real with your spouse. But here's the good news: you don't have to overhaul everything at once. Rachel shares four simple, practical ways to start putting some fun and friendship back into your relationship — starting this week. Plus, grab Rachel's free 30-Day Relationship Reboot Challenge by finding her post on Instagram @vibrantmarriagepodcast [https://www.instagram.com/vibrantmarriagepodcast/] and leaving a comment!

Should You Bring It Up? How to Know When a Conversation Is Worth Having

Not sure whether to raise an issue with your spouse — or let it go? In this episode, Rachel gives you a practical framework for knowing when something is actually worth bringing up in your marriage — and when it's better to let it pass. You'll learn the three most common reasons we avoid hard conversations, a simple test for whether something is worth addressing (it comes down to resentment), and why the goal of any hard conversation isn't winning — it's the health of your marriage. Rachel also shares results from a recent survey on the biggest stressors couples are facing right now, and closes with a journaling prompt from Dr. Sue Johnson that will help you get clear on where the real conversations need to happen. If you've ever wondered whether you're bringing up too much — or not enough — this episode is for you. 🎙️ Find show notes and resources at vibrantmarriage.co 📲 Follow along on Instagram @vibrantmarriagepodcast

How Not to Let The News Cycle Break Your Spirit — Or Your Marriage

The news isn't just exhausting. It's affecting your marriage in ways you might not even realize. In this episode, Rachel gets honest about what's really happening when the daily headlines feel like too much — and what it means for your relationship when you and your spouse cope with it in completely different ways. One of you wants to talk about it all. The other one is tapped out. One of you is fired up. The other has gone quiet and numb. Sound familiar? This isn't a politics episode. It's a nervous system episode. Rachel breaks down what's actually going on in your body when you're chronically overstimulated, walks you through the difference between hyperarousal and hypoarousal, and explains why your spouse's reaction to the news (however maddening it might be) is not a character flaw — it's a survival response. You'll also get practical tools for regulating your nervous system, tips for knowing when it's (and isn't) a good time to connect over hard topics, and a framework for giving both yourself and your spouse the grace to move in and out of different emotional states without it becoming a wedge between you. The world is a lot right now. But it doesn't have to break your marriage.