11. The Phrases That Raised Us

11. The Phrases That Raised Us

Some of the biggest lessons we carry into adulthood weren't learned in classrooms or from books. They came from the people who raised us. A grandmother telling you, "Everything that glitters ain't gold." A parent reminding you to "fix your face." An auntie asking you to "make it make sense." They're phrases many of us heard growing up, but they were never just expressions. They were lessons about discernment, accountability, communication, and survival that were passed down from one generation to the next. In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, we're unpacking some of the Black sayings that shaped us and exploring the history, wisdom, and lived experience behind them. We also talk about why understanding the context behind these phrases matters, especially in coaching spaces where culture is often heard but not fully understood. In This Episode: * Why Black sayings are more than slang and how they became cultural wisdom * The history of oral storytelling and passing down lessons through conversation * The deeper meaning behind "Make it make sense" * What "Fix your face" is really communicating * Why "A hard head makes a soft behind" is rooted in love, not punishment * The life lesson hidden inside "Everything that glitters ain't gold" * What "Watch your tone" actually teaches about communication and relationships * How these sayings helped build community, accountability, and survival across generations * Why understanding the context behind cultural phrases creates more inclusive coaching spaces * How quick wisdom can carry lessons that last a lifetime’ This Week's Heart Check: * What saying shaped how you think, react, or move through the world today? * Which lessons still serve you, and which ones are you ready to let go of? * When do you rely on quick wisdom instead of seeking deeper understanding? * What's one phrase you've carried that deserves to be redefined? * Have you ever repeated a cultural saying without understanding where it came from or what it truly meant? Time Stamps: 00:58 Why Black Sayings Matter Beyond the Humor 02:03 The Culture, History, and Wisdom Behind These Phrases 03:10 What Black Sayings Actually Are 04:09 Why Understanding Context Creates Better Coaching Spaces 04:40 "Make It Make Sense" and the Power of Accountability 08:32 "Fix Your Face" and What Nonverbal Communication Says 15:00 "A Hard Head Makes a Soft Behind" 19:05 "Everything That Glitters Ain't Gold" 22:06 Discernment in Coaching, Business, and Life 28:30 "Watch Your Tone" and Communicating with Care 33:08 Passion vs. Disrespect: Understanding the Difference 36:06 The Historical Roots of Black Sayings 37:42 Heart Check + Final Reflections Keep the Conversation Going Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations. Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

10. Who Decided What "Proper English" Sounds Like?

Language has always been about more than words. For Black people, the way we speak is often used as a shortcut for judging our intelligence, professionalism, credibility, and even our worth before we've had the chance to say anything meaningful at all. In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, we're unpacking Ebonics, also known as African American Vernacular English (AAVE), and challenging the idea that there is only one "correct" way to communicate. Because AAVE isn't broken English. It isn't laziness. And it isn't a lack of education. It's a legitimate dialect with its own rules, history, and cultural significance. Together, we explore how language bias shows up in coaching spaces, professional environments, classrooms, and everyday interactions, while examining the assumptions we make about people based solely on how they speak. * What Ebonics (AAVE) actually is and why linguists recognize it as a legitimate dialect * The historical roots of AAVE and how it developed through generations of Black culture and resilience * The Oakland Ebonics Resolution and why it sparked national controversy * How language becomes tied to perceptions of intelligence, professionalism, and credibility * The difference between dialect, slang, and "broken English" * Common examples of AAVE and the grammatical rules behind them * Why listening for understanding matters more than listening for correction * How language policing creates barriers in coaching and professional spaces * The connection between authenticity, code switching, and belonging * Why respecting cultural language is part of creating truly inclusive environments For Everyone: * What assumptions have you made about someone's intelligence based on how they speak? * When do you feel the need to adjust how you speak to be taken seriously? * Have you ever corrected someone's language without understanding its cultural context? * Where have you equated "professional" with sounding a certain way? * What beliefs about language are worth examining more closely? 00:01 Why We're Talking About Ebonics and Language Bias 01:27 What AAVE Actually Is (And What It Isn't) 03:27 Historical Roots of Ebonics and the Oakland Resolution 05:16 How Language Shapes Professional Perception 07:02 Who Decides What's "Correct" English? 09:44 The Problem with Equating Language and Intelligence 11:11 Listening to Understand Instead of Listening to Correct 14:11 Understanding the Habitual "Be" 16:06 Cultural Context, Meaning, and Misinterpretation 19:09 Why Coaches Need to Pause Before Making Assumptions 20:58 Double Negatives and Emphasis in AAVE 22:18 The Meaning Behind "Been" 24:03 Black Sayings, Boundaries, and Cultural Communication 26:29 Creating More Inclusive Coaching Spaces 27:07 Reclaiming Language as Part of Black Identity 28:39 Authenticity, Marketing, and Showing Up As Yourself 30:09 Why Different Doesn't Mean Wrong 31:11 Heart Check + Final Reflections What assumptions have you been taught to make about language? Share your thoughts with us on Instagram. We want to hear what came up for you while listening. If this episode resonated, leave a 5-star review so more women, coaches, and leaders can join these conversations. Tag a friend, colleague, or coach who needs to hear this one. Connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod [https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod] In This Episode:This Week's Heart Check:Time Stamps:Keep the Conversation Going

9. Why Black Women Are Burnt Out in Coaching Spaces: Emotional Labor

Black women are carrying weight in coaching spaces that was never theirs to lift, and today, we’re finally naming it. Black women aren’t just showing up to coaching spaces to learn. Too often, we’re asked (directly or indirectly) to educate, soothe, translate, and “keep the peace.” In this episode of Three Black Women and Their White Coach, hosts Catryce Sutson and Breanna LaShell unpack the invisible, unpaid, and unspoken emotional labor Black women are expected to shoulder in the coaching industry. Catryce (your mixed-race internet bestie + serial entrepreneur) and Breanna (your biracial nonprofit coach for impact-driven leaders) break down how emotional labor shows up in masterminds, group programs, and community spaces, especially when you’re the only Black woman in the room. In this episode: A clear definition of emotional labor—and how it lands uniquely on Black women in coaching spaces The hidden costs: burnout, nervous system dysregulation, therapy bills, and reputational risk What true allyship from white coaches can look like: paying Black women for their expertise, not centering guilt, and holding the space you’re actually being paid to hold Heart Check: For Black Women: Where have you been holding emotional space that no one asked you to hold? And what would it look like to gently put that weight down? For White Coaches: Where are your Black counterparts showing up in ways you aren’t and what would it mean to create a space where they don’t have to? And what boundaries or structures would create true safety for everyone involved? Keep the Conversation Going Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations. Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

8. Not Your Trend, Not Your Talking Point: Black Hair in the Coaching Space

What changes when we stop treating Black women’s hair like a trend and start honoring it as identity? In this deeply personal, often politicized conversation, we unpack Black hair in life and in the coaching industry—from the “petting-zoo effect” and microaggressions to workplace “professionalism,” branding shoots, and who gets to call what “distracting.” We name the history (from enslavement to the natural hair movement and the CROWN Act), share stories of unwanted touching and respectless curiosity, and celebrate hair joy, self-expression, and reclaiming our crowns—without apology. This episode is not about shame; it’s about correction, care, and liberation. In this episode: * The history and politics of Black hair—and why Eurocentric “professionalism” was never neutral * The “petting-zoo effect”: when curiosity turns into dehumanization * How microaggressions around hair show up in the coaching and corporate space * Why “put-together” looks different for Black women—and deserves to be respected as such * Guidance for non-Black coaches on affirming clients without causing harm * The line between appreciation and appropriation when it comes to protective styles * How affirmation during branding shoots can empower clients to show up fully * The importance of boundaries, consent, and self-definition in how we wear our crowns * The CROWN Act as progress—and why cultural change still matters beyond policy  Heart Check: For Black women: Where have you policed your own hair to feel “safe” in white spaces? What would showing up whole look like, starting with your crown? For White Coaches: What comments or “jokes” have you made about Black women’s hair? Who can you apologize to and how will you show up differently next time? Keep the Conversation Going Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations. Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.

7. Hyper-Visible, Under-Supported: Inside Tokenism in the Coaching Industry

Today we unpack “the tokenized Black girl” in the coaching industry, the hyper-visible, under-supported Black woman who’s praised in public but dismissed in private. We define tokenism (symbolic inclusion for optics), trace its roots and modern tropes, and get honest about how it shows up in branding, hiring, speaker lineups, and client features. We talk about the emotional toll, self-monitoring, isolation, gaslighting, and what true equity looks like: power-sharing, pay parity, policy, and sustained inclusion. What we cover * What tokenism is (and isn’t): representation vs. performance * Historical context & modern tropes (the “strong Black woman,” “palatable” beauty standards) * Red flags: the single Black face in year-round marketing, diversity-month invites only, citing values without policy, expecting education + politeness, public support without private defense * How tokenism harms: isolation, self-doubt, pressure to speak for “everyone,” diminished authority * From quota to collaboration: sharing power, paying equally, inviting voices to shape—not just show—your spaces Heart Check For Black women Where am I choosing visibility over having a voice? Have I been placed in a space to be seen, not to lead? How did that feel, and what boundaries will I set next time? What do I need to ask before entering a room (Who else is at the table? Has this coach worked with Black women before?) Where can I say no, rest, or build my own table? For White coaches Where might I be unintentionally tokenizing (speaker lineups, marketing, “one Black client” thinking, diversity-month invites)? How will I share power (roles, decision-making, budgets), pay equitably, and institute policies—not just posts? How will I support Black women privately when they’re not in the room? Keep the Conversation Going Share your reflections and stories with us on Instagram, we want to hear from you. https://www.instagram.com/threeblackwomenpod If this episode resonated, leave a 5 star review so more women (and coaches) can find these conversations. Tag a friend, a client, or a coach who needs to hear this one.