Ultra-Fun Mystery Bible Church

Ep. 5: Zacchaeus the Tax Collector

For the first time on the show, we dive in to the New Testament and explore the early origins of church and state with Zacchaeus the Tax Collector. Want even more ultra-fun content? Join the official Mystery Bible Church congregation for FREE by subscribing to the show, leaving us a review, and following us on Instagram at @mysterybiblechurch [https://www.instagram.com/mysterybiblechurch/?hl=en] to catch exclusive sneak peaks of upcoming bible stories! Call our prayer hotline below to confess your sins directly to Pastor Kelley, or email us at mysterybiblechurch@gmail.com [mysterybiblechurch@gmail.com] and our church staff will get back to you promptly in 5-7 business days. CALL OUR PRAYER HOTLINE TODAY: (470) 737-0283 ______________________________ READ ALONG WITH TODAY'S BIBLE STORY: Zacchaeus the Tax Collector | Luke 19: 1-10 19 Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. 2 Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. 3 And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. 5 And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, "Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house." 6 So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. 7 But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, "He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner." 8 Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold." 9 And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; 10 for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." _________________ Also Mentioned this Episode: * TurboTax * Taylor Swift * IRS * Tax Season Special thanks to Pastor Jason Faust for voicing God in our show introduction. Main theme written and performed by TJ Carson, produced and arranged by Kelley Bostian. All additional music and SFX obtained through Motion Array under royalty free commercial licensing. Produced, hosted, and edited by Kelley Bostian. This podcast is not commercially monetized. All advertisements are satirical in nature and not representative of real commercial organizations.

Ep. 4: The Tower of Babel

On today's pod, we dive into Genesis 11 to talk about the time King Nimrod attempted to build the world's tallest tower and God, in his infinite wisdom, decided to knock it down and create the world's many different languages intead. Want even more ultra-fun content? Join the official Mystery Bible Church congregation for FREE by subscribing to the show, leaving us a review, and following us on Instagram at @mysterybiblechurch [https://www.instagram.com/mysterybiblechurch/?hl=en] to catch exclusive sneak peaks of upcoming bible stories! Call our prayer hotline below to confess your sins directly to Pastor Kelley, or email us at mysterybiblechurch@gmail.com [mysterybiblechurch@gmail.com] and our church staff will get back to you promptly in 5-7 business days. CALL OUR PRAYER HOTLINE TODAY: (470) 737-0283 ______________________________ READ ALONG WITH TODAY'S BIBLE STORY: The Tower of Bable | Genesis 11: 1-9 11 Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. 2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there. 3 Then they said to one another, "Come, let us make bricks and bake themthoroughly." They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. 4 And they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth." 5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6 And the Lord said, "Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them. 7 Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another's speech." 8 So the Lord scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they ceased building the city. 9 Therefore its name is called Babel, because there the Lordconfused the language of all the earth; and from there the Lord scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth. _________________ Mentioned this Episode: * March Fastness 14-day Fasting Challenge * Genesis 11 * The Tower of Babel * Where do languages come from? Special thanks to Pastor Jason Faust for voicing God in our show introduction. Main theme written and performed by TJ Carson, produced and arranged by Kelley Bostian. All additional music and SFX obtained through Motion Array under royalty free commercial licensing. Produced, hosted, and edited by Kelley Bostian. This podcast is not commercially monetized. All advertisements are satirical in nature and not representative of real commercial organizations.

Ep. 3: Wrestling With The Father

Today we cover the story of a time when Jacob wrestled with God all night long... and won... That's right: travel with us to the ultra-fun book of Genesis as we learn why people named Jacob have earned such a bad reputation over the years. From WWE to generational incest and even the founding of Isreal, the story of Jacob wrestling God is one worth remembering! Want even more ultra-fun content? Join the official Mystery Bible Church congregation for FREE by subscribing to the show, leaving us a review, and following us on Instagram at @mysterybiblechurch [https://www.instagram.com/mysterybiblechurch/?hl=en] to catch exclusive sneak peaks of upcoming bible stories! CALL OUR PRAYER HOTLINE TODAY: (470) 737-0283 ______________________________ READ ALONG WITH TODAY'S BIBLE STORY: Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau 32 Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2 When Jacob saw them, he said, "This is the camp of God!" So he named that place Mahanaim. 3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: "This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: 'Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants.Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.'" 6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, "We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him." 7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, "If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape." 9 Then Jacob prayed, "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, 'Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,' 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.'" 13 He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, "Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds." 17 He instructed the one in the lead: "When my brother Esau meets you and asks, 'Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?' 18 then you are to say, 'They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.'" 19 He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: "You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him. 20 And be sure to say, 'Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.'" For he thought, "I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me."21 So Jacob's gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp. Jacob Wrestles With God 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a manwrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27 The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered. 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome." 29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face,and yet my life was spared." 31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon. _________________ Mentioned this Episode: * Jacob's Incestious Family Tree [https://www.conformingtojesus.com/charts-maps/en/genealogy_of_abraham.htm] * Genesis 32 * Sunset Lake CBD [https://sunsetlakecbd.com] Special thanks to Pastor Jason Faust for voicing God in our show introduction. Main theme written and performed by TJ Carson, produced and arranged by Kelley Bostian. All additional music and SFX obtained through Motion Array under royalty free commercial licensing. Produced, hosted, and edited by Kelley Bostian. This podcast is not commercially monetized. All advertisements are satirical in nature and not representative of real commercial organizations.

Ep. 2: David v. Goliath

This week's episode is all about standing up to your bully (and cutting off his foreskin afterwards) as we cover a true Bible classic: David & Goliath. Travel with Pastor Kelley to the the site of an ancient battle, narcissistic giant, and determine 12-to-18-year-old servant of the Lord God above. Pastor PSA: Apologies, listeners... We incorrectly cited John Cena as being 6"7 when he is actually 6"1. We understand if this may have caused some confusion and/or "Mandella Effects" on many of you, so we have atoned for this error with our Father who art in heaven... Please forgive us? Want even more ultra-fun content? Join the official Mystery Bible Church congregation for FREE by subscribing to the show, leaving us a review, and following us on Instagram at @mysterybiblechurch [https://www.instagram.com/mysterybiblechurch/?hl=en] to catch exclusive sneak peaks of upcoming bible stories! CALL OUR PRAYER HOTLINE TODAY: (470) 737-0283 _________________ Special thanks to Pastor Jason Faust for voicing God in our show introduction. Main theme written and performed by TJ Carson, produced and arranged by Kelley Bostian. All additional music and SFX obtained through Motion Array under royalty free commercial licensing. Produced, hosted, and edited by Kelley Bostian. This podcast is not commercially monetized. All advertisements are satirical in nature and not representative of real commercial organizations.

Ep. 1: Jonah (Hill) and the Whale

In the first bible story of the podcast, Pastor Kelley and Youth Minister (in training) Ashlyn dive head first into a whale-of-a-story... Travel with us to the Old Testament lands of Ninevah and hear about how the great Prophet Jonah deals with the the trials, tribulations, and micro-management of our favorite all-powerful God. Want even more ultra-fun content? Join the official Mystery Bible Church congregation for FREE by subscribing to the show, leaving us a review, and following us on Instagram at @mysterybiblechurch [https://www.instagram.com/mysterybiblechurch/?hl=en] to catch exclusive sneak peaks of upcoming bible stories! CALL OUR PRAYER HOTLINE TODAY: (470) 737-0283 _________________ Special thanks to Pastor Jason Faust for voicing God in our show introduction. Main theme written and performed by TJ Carson, produced and arranged by Kelley Bostian. All additional music and SFX obtained through Motion Array under royalty free commercial licensing. Produced, hosted, and edited by Kelley Bostian. This podcast is not commercially monetized. All advertisements are satirical in nature and not representative of real commercial organizations.