We Shouldn't Be Friends

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT: SELLING THE TOUR

What happens when you sell a business? Everything changes, that’s what happens. Which means very interesting times ahead for all the people involved in the amazing, entertaining, possibly confusing yet all round brilliant circus you just watched go down at Snapper Rocks. Because the World Surf League is hunting a buyer — or as the press release put it, after “a significant amount of inbound interest”, they’ve decided to “explore strategic alternatives to accelerate the next phase of growth”. It’s anyone’s guess how this will play out, but of course Nick and Hannah have a few ideas. Has the WSL’s 13 years in charge actually made pro surfing worth someone else’s money? And how might this affect the slow burn between pro surfing and Olympic selection for the LA Games?

IN THE WARM SEAT: FELICITY PALMATEER

Talking for a living isn’t the cakewalk people assume. This is especially true in sport. Even if you have something to say, it can be spun by circumstance — maybe you don’t mesh with the commentary team, maybe nerves mess up your message, maybe your voice is just plain unpleasant! None of this is true of Flick Palmateer. In the WSL CT broadcast machine, she brings a sharp mind to the game, along with that rare ability to warm up the room — when Flick’s talking, you’re in no doubt there’s a fellow human being present. Plus she’s in the midst of a career expansion you don’t often see, from pro surfer locked in the surf culture to a public figure with bigger goals. Plus she has Nick and Hannah’s favourite quality: she doesn’t muck around!

WHEN SURFING MAKES PEOPLE CRY: PAM BURRIDGE

Ever been sacked from a job you love? Even better — ever thought you might be sacked, and had to hang around for days in the office corridor waiting to find out? This is what a coupla handfuls of professional surfers just went through at Merewether Beach, with the tiny little addition of it all being on full, worldwide, public display. Competition surfing might be the only kind of surfing capable of making a surfer actually cry, and it sure did in Newcastle. So…why do it, and how do you accommodate the mad rushes of feeling around winning and losing long enough to make a career out of it? We asked the fantastic Pam Burridge to help us understand this carnage.

THE CHANGAS: SHOW IT OR BLOW IT

While we’re on the subject…competition! In case you haven’t tried it, Hannah’s recently gone there on your behalf, and she’s rapidly finding out what a triple-edged sword it can be. You THINK you’re ripping, everyone TELLS YOU you’re ripping, you KNOW you’re the best … and you come third in your heat. Imagine going through this ego-mincer for a living. Well, over the coming week, the citizens of the fine city of Newcastle are about to see it in all its awkward glory, as a few handfuls of surfers try to jump levels — from the Challenger series to the big game. They have a week to show it or blow it. Who are they, and how will they survive this nonsense?

THE OLYMPICS: GOTTA BE IN IT TO WIN IT

In the past four days, we’ve seen a classic, vaguely farcical, perhaps even hilarious story play out at the very top end of organised competitive surfing. On the surface it looks pretty simple: the WSL CT pros are cut up over a new Olympic selection criteria issued by the International Surfing Association for LA28. The criteria looks like a kick in the teeth for the CT crew, limiting their selection to just 10 of the 48 slots on offer. Couple that with the fact that nobody at the ISA asked for their opinion, and blammo! Angry surf stars everywhere. But behind this brouhaha lies a deeper saga: an epic, long running power play over what’s become the most precious prize in the sport: an Olympic gold medal. Nick and Hannah go to town on it with the help of the fantastic and very clear-minded Leo Fioravanti, who knows from experience what a medal shot feels like.