Beyond the Type: An Enneagram-Inspired Podcast about Being Human.

Why Do I Feel Lonely When I Have Friends?

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still felt completely, inexplicably lonely? That hollow, flat feeling has a name: relational hunger. And it's more common than you think. In this episode, Sandy explores the difference between being heard and being truly known, why so many of us are starving for real connection even when our calendars are full, and what's quietly getting in the way. You'll learn about the three Enneagram instincts (self-preservation, social, and sexual/one-to-one) and how each one shapes what you hunger for in relationships, as well as where your blind spots might be hiding. Sandy also shares why knowing your dominant instinct can help you stop showing up to the wrong table and wondering why you're still hungry. Plus: five practical, doable things you can try this week to start feeding that relational hunger -  especially if you're in your 30s, 40s, or 50s and the structures that used to create connection have mostly fallen away. In this episode: * Why loneliness is not new, and what HAS changed * What "relational hunger" is and how it disguises itself * The three Enneagram instincts and how each one experiences loneliness differently * A special look at Type 5 and why connection can be a real blind spot * Five practical ways to build connection as an adult This one is for anyone who has ever driven home from a great party feeling more alone than when they arrived.  Share with someone who also might be feeling that "hunger"! ___ Learn more about Enneagram Typing Interviews here: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/typinginterview [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/typinginterview] West Health-Gallup survey on mental health: https://news.gallup.com/poll/700079/mental-health-ratings-continue-worsen.aspx [https://news.gallup.com/poll/700079/mental-health-ratings-continue-worsen.aspx] ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication] ___ loneliness, feeling lonely with friends, feeling disconnected, how to make friends as an adult, how to meet people, sense of belonging, belonging vs fitting in, real connection, emotional connection, surface connection, Enneagram instincts, Enneagram subtypes, self-preservation instinct, social instinct, sexual instinct, one-to-one instinct, Enneagram Type 5, loneliness epidemic, mental health, personal growth, self-awareness, adult friendship, how to feel less lonely, holistic coaching, life coaching, Enneagram coaching, and Beyond the Type podcast.

Doomscrolling, Dopamine, and Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: The Truth About Your Phone Habit

Do you reach for your phone without really deciding to? You're mid-scroll at 11pm, exhausted, and yet... you keep going. There's a reason for that - and it has nothing to do with willpower. In this episode of Beyond the Type, Holistic Life and Leadership Coach Sandy Swanson digs into why our phones have such a grip on us:  from the dopamine loop and the slot machine design of social media apps to the algorithm that's working around the clock to keep you engaged (whether that's good for you or not). Sandy also introduces a concept that might sound very familiar: revenge bedtime procrastination, the very real psychological pattern behind staying up until 2am on Instagram after a long, demanding day. You'll also hear how Enneagram Types 2 and 9 can be especially prone to this pattern - and what it might be pointing to underneath. Sandy wraps with three simple, practical tools to help you build a more intentional relationship with your phone; no digital detox app required. This episode is a follow-up to Sandy's earlier episode on boredom and phone use. Links below! In this episode: * Why phone use is a design issue, not a character flaw * The dopamine loop and intermittent reinforcement (aka: your phone is a slot machine) * What the algorithm is actually doing - and why it matters for kids, especially * Revenge bedtime procrastination: what it is and why it happens * Three tools to help you use your phone with more intention ___ Beyond the Type podcast episode on phone use and boredom: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149101958 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149101958] Beyond the Type yoga nidra meditation and body scan: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149101492 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149101492] Jonathan Haidt's LinkedIn post on the experiment of setting up a TikTok or IG account as a 13 y/o girl: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7452459664929099777/ [https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7452459664929099777/] Jonathan Haidt's book "The Anxious Generation": https://amzn.to/4tu8uQD [https://amzn.to/4tu8uQD] ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication] ___ phone addiction, social media addiction, doomscrolling, screen time, revenge bedtime procrastination, how to use your phone less, mindful technology, dopamine and social media, Instagram addiction, TikTok addiction, Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation, intentional phone use, digital wellness, how to stop scrolling, nervous system and screen time, Enneagram and habits, Enneagram Type 2, Enneagram Type 9, phone habits, healthy relationship with technology, personal development podcast, self-awareness, Beyond the Type podcast, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching.com ___ Some links may be affiliate links, which means I get a tiny percentage of the sale.  As always, I appreciate your support!

I Am Not Enough (And Other Lies Your Mind Believes)

Most of us are walking around with a set of beliefs about ourselves that we never consciously chose. Beliefs that were handed to us early, filed away as facts, and have been quietly running the show ever since. In this episode, Sandy will be digging into limiting beliefs:  What they are, how they form, and why they're so stubborn. She'll draw on the work of therapist and author Marissa Peer, including Peer's idea that underneath almost every limiting belief is some version of the same core wound: I am not enough.  You'll walk away with: * A clear understanding of how limiting beliefs form and why they're so hard to shake * A look at how each Enneagram type tends to experience their own version of "I am not enough" * A 3-step process you can do right now to start loosening the grip of any belief If you've ever talked yourself out of something before you even started, this one is for you. ___ Beyond the Type podcast episode on manifesting: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149057729 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149132264]  ___ About your host: 🔹Hi! I'm Sandy, Professional Certified Coach (ICF-PCC), National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC), and self-proclaimed Enneagram nerd.🤓 🔹I’m a holistic communication and relationship coach (some clients call me a "people whisperer"), and I'm dedicated to helping you understand yourself and others more deeply so you can communicate with confidence, clarity, and compassion. 🔹I’m also a mentor coach and love helping brand-new coaches with their coaching skills. 🔹 My coaching philosophy:  You don't need to be fixed, you need to be found.  🏳️‍🌈 Proud to support LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities 🏳️‍🌈 ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication] ___ limiting beliefs, how to overcome limiting beliefs, I am not enough, Marissa Peer, I am enough, core wound, self-worth, how beliefs are formed, childhood beliefs, subconscious beliefs, beliefs that hold you back, how to break free from limiting beliefs, stuck in life, fear of failure, inner critic, negative self-talk, somatic exercises for mindset, body-based healing, nervous system and beliefs, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, personal growth podcast, mindset work, how to rewrite your story, Enneagram and limiting beliefs, Enneagram types and self-worth, Enneagram inner critic, belief origin, where do limiting beliefs come from, how to change your mindset, future self visualization, emotional healing, self-awareness, confidence and self-worth, communication and self-belief, Enneagram, Beyond the Type podcast, coaching for limiting beliefs, somatic coaching, holistic coaching, personal development

What Needs to Die for You to Live Again?

Shed what no longer serves you to make space for what DOES. Spring is here, and with it comes an invitation that goes a lot deeper than cleaning out your closet. This short, reflective episode is about the kind of renewal that actually matters — the internal kind. I explore what it really means to "start again," why something has to die first, and what gets in the way (hint: it's probably yourself, e.g., your ego!). I touch on: * What needs to "die" in our external world (intolerance, emotional immaturity, the things that divide us) * What can be released internally (old behaviors, outdated ways of thinking, patterns that no longer serve you) * The role of culture, family, and identity in keeping us stuck * Why the ego will resist change, and why that's completely normal * Why awareness has to come before anything can shift Before death, there needs to be awareness. And awareness is where everything begins. Whether you're celebrating Easter, Passover, the spring equinox, or just a random Tuesday in May, this one is for you. ___ Mentioned in this episode: Easter and Death - Progressive Christianity https://progressivechristianity.org/resource/easter-and-death/ [https://progressivechristianity.org/resource/easter-and-death/]  Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication]

Listen Better: 5 Skills Nobody Taught You (Part 2)

In Part 2 of this two-part conversation on listening, we move from awareness into action, with five practical skills to help you become a more present, connected, and intentional listener. In your relationships, your workplace, and everywhere in between. We start with a framework from Otto Scharmer, a senior lecturer at MIT and author of Theory U, that will genuinely change how you think about every conversation you have from now on. From there, we get into the actual skills: * How to listen for the emotion underneath the words (and why that emotion is almost always the more important message) * The difference between curiosity and judgment in a conversation, and why the person across from you can feel which one you're in, even when you say nothing * What your body is communicating while you listen, and the neuroscience behind why a calm, regulated nervous system makes you a better listener for everyone around you * How to get genuinely comfortable with silence, including one advanced skill that most people never try * What to do in the middle of a conversation when you realize you've completely zoned out (it happens to everyone, including coaches) This episode also touches on the Enneagram;  Sandy also offers thoughts on listening when it comes to her coaching practice, how she listens in her personal life, and why presence is an ongoing practice - not just something you do once like flipping a switch. If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, start there first: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149192288 [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149192288] ___ Stay in touch! Sign up for my newsletter and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication] Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication [https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication] Otto Scharmer, Theory U (book) https://amzn.to/4e4bLlH [https://amzn.to/4e4bLlH] ___ how to be a better listener, active listening skills, four levels of listening, Otto Scharmer Theory U, empathic listening, generative listening, listening and body language, co-regulation nervous system, how to listen without judgment, nonjudgmental curiosity, listening skills for relationships, communication skills podcast, how to make someone feel heard, how to get comfortable with silence, listening and presence, Enneagram, why listening is hard, deep listening techniques, mindful communication, how to stop formulating responses, listening and self-awareness, communication and the Enneagram, personal growth podcast, relationship communication, listening as a skill, presence in conversation, emotional intelligence, how to listen with empathy, active listening in relationships, communication coach, workplace communication skills, Enneagram and communication ___ Some links may be affiliate links, which means I earn a percentage of sales from that link. As always, I appreciate your support!