Chickens Are The New Kittens

Road Trip Roast: Kids vs Chelsey

On this Independence Day weekend… What happens when you ask the kids what they really thought about spending 39 hours in a car with your best friend? In this episode, Chelsey hears their completely unfiltered opinions for the very first time, and let’s just say… they don’t hold back. Once the laughter (and mild emotional damage) settles, Chelsey shares her own thoughts about road-tripping with the kids, and while she’s much kinder than they were, she definitely has a few stories of her own. From backseat questionable smells, to long stretches of sleepy highway, and everything in between, we unpack what it’s actually like to survive nearly two full days in a vehicle together. Surprisingly, it wasn’t nearly as miserable as any of us expected… even if the kids might try to convince you otherwise. Buckle up for plenty of laughs, honest reactions, and the ultimate post-road-trip roast.

The Internet Made Me Do It

Did you miss us? GOOD! The internet made us do it… and we’re only slightly ashamed. 😅 This week, we’re talking about all the hobbies, recipes, crafts, kitchen experiments, gifts, gadgets, and random habits we’ve picked up thanks to Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Pinterest, and the endless rabbit holes of the internet. Which trends stuck? Which costs more than they were worth? Which ones were total flops? And, somehow, the conversation takes a very serious detour into a debate over what we’re actually supposed to call our TV services. (Spoiler: we still don’t agree.) Join us for laughs, relatable internet confessions, and the usual off-the-rails conversations that happen when two friends start talking.

The ABC’s Of Our Week

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, we kick things off with weekly recaps—told in an ABC format. What starts as a simple catch-up quickly turns into a discussion about our ever-growing collections of unread books and whether buying more books and actually reading them are even related hobbies at this point. Along the way, a little alcohol is involved, which may or may not contribute to the number of tangents we take. We also dive into ideas for our long-awaited matching best friend tattoos, exploring everything from meaningful to slightly ridiculous. If you enjoy books, friendship, laughter, and conversations that rarely stay on track, welcome! You’re among friends!

Two Girls: 101 Allegations

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, the girls peck through 101 personality traits to determine whether each one belongs to Beth, Chelsey, both, or neither. Between bites of Qdoba and several emotionally charged accusations, they discover one of them may actually be “Feral but Functional” while the other is just one match stick away from a felony. There’s bickering, there’s awareness, there’s at least one category that causes immediate defensive squawking. Chelsey spends much of the episode dramatically reminding everyone how late it is, like an exhausted barn cat that missed its bedtime. Somehow the girls mostly agree on who’s chaotic, who’s delusional, and who would absolutely survive by in a horror film. It’s part friendship quiz, part emotional support group, and part two chickens fighting over the same popcorn kernel in a Target parking lot.

We Trained For This: DeLuLu Olympics

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey enter the Delulu Olympics, where confidence is high, qualifications are low, and absolutely nobody is prepared. From fake athlete personas to wildly inflated self-belief, the women compete in events like Financial Gymnastics, the Overthinking Floor Routine, and Delusional Confidence. They debate whether impulsive hobbies, emotional support purchases, and life decisions made during Target trips are delusional, iconic, or somehow both. Along the way, Beth overanalyzes innocent text messages, Chelsey defends her “expertise” after one YouTube video, and both discover they may deserve gold medals in retail therapy. There are questionable life choices, rapid-fire chaos, and just enough self-awareness to make it dangerous. Add in Airheads, minimal distractions for once, and fits of laughter, and you’ve got Olympics like no other. Honestly, they trained for this.