Finding a Football Club

Bristol Rovers, Cambridge United, Crawley Town & Shrewsbury Town

Finding a Football Club goes back to its roots this week. After months of tangents, the gang finally resume the actual premise of the podcast: finding a lower-league football club to support. Naturally, everyone brings a depressing team to the table. Will reps Cambridge United, Roberto pitches Crawley Town, Jay champions Shrewsbury Town, and Luke goes to bat for Bristol Rovers. Plus, the lads discover that PC World took down Gary Glitter, try to spot fake erotic Ian Holloway quotes, say Dion Dublin’s name an ungodly amount of times, and accidentally invent a smash-hit game show: Is it Cordial?

The Transfer Flop XI

This week on Finding a Football Club, let’s celebrate the art of burning money. The lads are sifting through the wreckage of the modern transfer market to build the ultimate Transfer Flop XI. But first, the gang must address the aggressively hand-gesturing elephant in the room: Italy. As Roberto mourns his nation's failure to qualify for a historic third consecutive World Cup, Will twists the knife by helpfully pointing out that the Azzurri are now statistically better at cricket than football. Eventually, the squad looks at the worst transfer business of the 21st century. Which includes Barcelona’s dodgy accountancy, the enduring mystery of Ali Dia, Gonzalo Higuain’s male pattern baldness, and League Cup disaster artist, Kepa Arrizabalaga. Elsewhere, the gang wonders who had an affair with Khalid Boulahrouz’s wife, why Oleksandr Zinchenko isn't fighting on the front lines, and if David Luiz is the most expensive virgin.

The Top 10 Strikers of the Last 20 Years

This week on Finding a Football Club, the five-part epic finally grinds to a halt as the lads assemble the ultimate Top 10 Strikers since 2005. With Jay returning from paternity leave, the full roster is back together to crown the greatest Number 9 of the modern era. Naturally, it takes about three minutes for the civil war to commence. The lads clash over Didier Drogba, Sergio Aguero (what else is new?), and whether Robin van Persie spent his entire career "pumping spastics". Elsewhere, someone refuses to accept Karim Benzema as anything more than a glorified one-season wonder, Jay frantically Googles random ‘Top 50 Strikers’ lists to find one that cites Henrik Larsson, and the gang somehow forget Edison Cavani exists.

The Top 10 Wingers of the Last 20 Years

This week on Finding a Football Club, the lads tackle the fourth instalment of their ‘Best Players of the Last 20 Years’ series, with wingers and wide forwards in their crosshairs. With Jay missing, Luke, Will and Roberto are forced to actually agree with each other, resulting in an alarmingly uniform Top 10 list. So, the lads tackle bigger questions. Was Arjen Robben more unstoppable than his male pattern baldness? Are Alexis Sanchez and Kyle Walker’s wife into bestiality? And did Neymar genuinely negotiate a mandated orgy for his father? Along the way, Will bumps into Martin Tyler, Roberto drops pub quiz trivia about Chester, and, for once and for all, Luke proves that Lionel Messi is better than Gabby Agbonlahor.

The Part of the Furniture XI

This week on Finding a Football Club, the lads search for loyalty in the modern game as they pay tribute to the unglamorous, long-serving squad players who basically came free with the stadium. However, professionalism is at an all-time low. Will dials in from his phone having lost all his prep work, and Jay is missing in action after having a baby (congratulations to a man who refuses to listen to his own podcast). The football chat quickly derails as Will announces Mark Noble’s 'honorary' Harvard degree, Roberto recounts impressing Tim Sherwood with his motorway knowledge, and Luke gaslights Will over Dean Windass. Elsewhere, there’s a push for Shola Ameobi to receive national honours, Grant Holt’s inexplicable Italian gap year is uncovered, and Steve Harper’s career is finally reduced to a single, damning metric.