Golf Yourself Happy | The Mental Game of Golf for Confidence, Mindset & Enjoyment

Golf is Healthy...BUT it's making you miserable!

Golf helped me through one of the darkest periods of my life. Following the loss of my son, golf gave me something I desperately needed: routine, purpose, connection, and a place to direct my attention when life felt overwhelming. That experience led me to launch Golf Yourself Healthy, inspired not only by my own journey but also by a growing body of research highlighting the health and wellbeing benefits of golf. But over time, I found myself wrestling with a difficult question: If golf is so good for us, why are so many golfers struggling because of it? In this episode, I share the story behind the evolution from Golf Yourself Healthy to Golf Yourself Happy, and explore two of the core convictions that now underpin everything I do. We discuss: * Why golf may have defined success too narrowly * How golfers often move the goalposts on their own achievements * The hidden cost of tying self-worth to performance * Why belonging might be more important than playing ability * The subtle ways golf culture can make people feel like outsiders * The difference between measuring golfers and valuing golfers Along the way, I share a personal story about joining a golf club in Wales, serving on the board of directors, and an encounter that revealed something deeper about how we decide who belongs in golf. If you've ever felt frustrated by the game, doubted whether you're "good enough" to call yourself a golfer, or found your enjoyment of golf rising and falling with your scorecard, this episode is for you. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Golf is good for us, but its benefits are not automatic. * Golfers are remarkably good at telling themselves they're not "good enough" * Success becomes almost impossible to achieve when it is defined too narrowly. * The same culture that narrows success can also narrow belonging. * Your right to belong should not depend on your performance. 💚 JOIN THE HAPPY HACKERS CLUB https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community] The Happy Hackers Club is a community for golfers who want a healthier, happier, and more sustainable relationship with the game. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to invite you to join us. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE * Kris and Innes story features in the PGA's GBQ magazine -https://www.gbqdigital.com/featuresarchive/inspiration-golf-yourself-healthy [https://www.gbqdigital.com/featuresarchive/inspiration-golf-yourself-healthy] * Golf Yourself Healthy - www.golfyourselfhealthy.com [www.golfyourselfhealthy.com] * Golf Yourself Happy - www.golfyourselfhappy.com [www.golfyourselfhappy.com] * Golf and Health report - https://www.randa.org/en/key-projects/golf-and-health [https://www.randa.org/en/key-projects/golf-and-health] * World Handicap System - https://www.whs.com/ [https://www.whs.com/] Closing Thought Remember to put your Happiness First and your Handicap Later

NCG Top 100s Part 3: What Edgbaston Taught Me About Self-Judgement, Belonging and Acceptance

📝 SHOW NOTES What happens when you finally put your mindset framework to the test... and discover that the biggest challenge isn't your golf swing? In this final episode of my NCG Top 100s mini-series, I reflect on my experience playing at Edgbaston Golf Club and share what the day revealed about judgement, belonging, self-awareness and acceptance. I arrived with a plan. To stay present. To focus on enjoyment. To connect with my playing partners. However, I was given a timely reminder that competitive golf has a way of exposing the gap between our intentions and reality. 🧠 WHAT WE COVER: * Why seeing my playing partners' handicaps before the round instantly triggered comparison * The assumptions I made about what better golfers might think of me * Why being filmed added pressure...and what it revealed about my fear of judgement * The surprising moment that challenged my belief that I didn't belong * What acceptance actually means when performance still matters * How self-awareness often comes before meaningful change 🔑 THE SHIFTS ACCEPTANCE ISN'T PRETENDING YOU DON'T CARE I discovered that wanting to perform well didn't disappear simply because I'd decided enjoyment was important. The challenge wasn't eliminating competitive thoughts. It was learning how to respond to them differently. NOBODY WAS JUDGING ME I spent the opening holes worrying about what everyone else thought of me. Then I realised something: 👉 Nobody was judging me. I was doing that job perfectly well myself. BELONGING ISN'T SOMETHING OTHER PEOPLE GIVE YOU I arrived wondering whether I deserved to be there. By the end of the round, I realised nobody else was asking that question. Only me. 🏌️‍♂️ THE EXPERIMENT CONTINUES The purpose of this series was never to prove that my coaching framework works perfectly. It was to test it under pressure. To expose blind spots. To learn. And to bring those lessons back to the everyday golfers I work with. Because growth doesn't happen when we talk about ideas. It happens when we test them in the real world. 🔁 PART OF THE NCG TOP 100S MINI-SERIES This is Episode 3 of 3. Across the series I've explored: * First tee nerves * Competitive pressure * Acceptance and control * Social connection * Comparison * Judgement * What it really means to enjoy golf 👉🏻 Check out the full NCG Top 100s Tour Schedule [https://ncgtop100stour.com/?sca_ref=10511482.MZszx5QBSUv8j] (use discount code GYH10 at checkout for 10% off your booking) 💬 JOIN THE COMMUNITY 👉 https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community] 🎁 CLAIM YOUR FREE 5-DAY RESET 👉 https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/free-5-day-reset [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/free-5-day-reset] 🏌️‍♂️ FINAL THOUGHT Most golfers aren't struggling because they don't belong. They're struggling because they've convinced themselves they don't. Happiness First. Handicap Later.™

Why Good Golf Is Never Good Enough with Tom Higson, Raglan Golf Club

📝 SHOW NOTES In this episode, I sit down with PGA professional and Raglan Golf Club manager, Tom Higson, to explore what it really means to enjoy golf - and why happiness and performance might be far more connected than most golfers realise. 🧠 WHAT WE COVER: * Why so many golfers struggle to separate their identity from their scores * The hidden cost of becoming obsessed with performance * How Tom's wife helped him rediscover perspective during his professional career * Why half of on-course golfers don't even consider themselves "real golfers" * What golf clubs can do to create a genuine sense of belonging * Why process goals often matter more than handicap goals * The surprising idea that could completely change the way you keep score 🏌️ A DIFFERENT KIND OF GOLF CLUB We also explore the remarkable story of Raglan Golf Club. After closing completely, the club has been rebuilt around a simple philosophy: 👉 Golf is for everyone. From mixed-gender competitions and flexible tee choices to creating a welcoming space for families, non-golfers and newcomers alike, Raglan is challenging many of golf's traditional assumptions. 🔑 THE SHIFT Most golfers judge themselves through one question: "What did you score?" But what if that isn't the most important question? Tom shares a fascinating example of a golfer who stopped tracking scores and started tracking whether she followed her process instead. That simple shift opens up a bigger conversation: 👉 Who do you want to be as a golfer? Not just what handicap do you want. Not just what score do you want. But what kind of golfer - and person - do you want to become? 🎯 A PREVIEW OF OUR COACHING PARTNERSHIP This conversation also introduces an exciting new coaching collaboration between Tom and myself. By combining traditional PGA coaching with mindset coaching, our aim is simple: * Help golfers enjoy the game more * Build healthier relationships with golf * Improve confidence and resilience * Create performance gains as a natural by-product Because happier golfers tend to become better golfers. 🌳 STOP AND LOOK AROUND Golf is one of the few sports we can play for a lifetime. Yet many of us spend our rounds frustrated, distracted or chasing perfection. Tom's challenge is wonderfully simple: 👉 Pause. 👉 Look around. 👉 Notice where you are. You might discover that golf has already given you more than your scorecard ever could. 🎁 CLAIM YOUR FREE 5-DAY RESET 👉 Link here - https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/free-5-day-reset [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/free-5-day-reset] 💬 JOIN THE COMMUNITY 👉 https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community] 📧 Get In Touch hello@golfyourselfhappy.com 🏌️‍♂️ FINAL THOUGHT Golf isn't who you are. It's something you do. The score is just the score. So next time you play, don't just ask how many shots you took. Ask yourself: Did I enjoy it? Happiness First. Handicap Later.

NCG Top 100s Part 2: Royal North Devon review

📝 SHOW NOTES What actually happens when you try to enjoy competitive golf… and it doesn’t go fully to plan? In this episode, I reflect on my experience playing an NCG Top 100 event at Royal North Devon - and preview my next round at Edgbaston. 🧠 WHAT WE COVER: * What it really felt like stepping onto the first tee * How quickly simple habits break down under pressure * The moment that forced a complete reset mid-round 🔑 THE SHIFT Golf constantly presents things outside your control: * The conditions * Your swing * Other players The question is: 👉 Do you fight it… or accept it? After six holes of frustration and no score, a flashpoint on the 12th forced me to reset - and changed the rest of the round. 🧭 LOOKING AHEAD: EDGBASTON This next round isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about continuing the experiment: * Staying anchored to enjoyment * Letting go of what I can’t control * Showing up in a way that’s true to me 🔬 THIS IS STILL AN EXPERIMENT I haven’t figured this out. But I experienced something different — and that matters. 🔁 PART OF A NCG TOP 100S MINI-SERIES This is Episode 2 of 3. 🗓️ Next episode on Wednesday 27 May: what actually happened at Edgbaston. 👉🏻 Check out the full NCG Top 100s Tour Schedule [https://ncgtop100stour.com/?sca_ref=10511482.MZszx5QBSUv8j] (use discount code GYH10 at checkout for 10% off your booking) 💬 JOIN THE COMMUNITY 👉 https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community] 🎁 CLAIM YOUR FREE 5-DAY RESET 👉 Link here - https://tinyurl.com/2udzf3ze [https://tinyurl.com/2udzf3ze] 🏌️‍♂️ FINAL THOUGHT You don’t need a perfect round to enjoy golf. Happiness First. Handicap Later.

NCG Top 100s Part 1: Can an Average Golfer like me enjoy this?

📝 SHOW NOTES What does it actually feel like for an everyday golfer to play in a Top 100 event? In this episode, I take you inside my mindset ahead of playing on the NCG Top 100 Tour - not from the perspective of performance, but from the perspective of experience. Why? Because these are exactly the kind of days that used to make me enjoy golf less… not more. 🧠 WHAT WE COVER: * Why high-pressure or “big” golf days can feel harder to enjoy * The hidden mental patterns that show up before you even hit your first shot * How comparison, expectation, and over-preparation can shape your round * Why playing well doesn’t always mean feeling good 🔑 THE SHIFT Instead of focusing on score or performance, I’m approaching this round differently: Can I actually enjoy it? ✅ THE 2 SIMPLE HABITS I’M USING: 1. Pause before every shot - A breath, a reset, and a moment to arrive in the present 2. No immediate judgement after each shot - Good or bad - notice it, and move on Simple, repeatable, and something you can actually use when it matters most. 🔬 THIS EPISODE IS AN EXPERIMENT I don’t know how this is going to go. I might play well. I might not. I’ll probably get frustrated at times. But that’s kind of the point. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about seeing whether I can experience golf differently. 🔁 THIS IS PART OF A MINI-SERIES In the next episode, I’ll reflect on what actually happened at Royal North Devon - honestly, and in full. So make sure you’re subscribed to the podcast! 👉🏻 Check out the full NCG Top 100s Tour Schedule [https://ncgtop100stour.com/?sca_ref=10511482.MZszx5QBSUv8j] (use discount code GYH10 at checkout for 10% off your booking) 💬 JOIN THE COMMUNITY (FREE) If this episode resonated with you, come and join Happy Hackers — my free WhatsApp community for everyday golfers who want to enjoy the game more. No pressure. No egos. No unsolicited advice. Just real golfers, sharing the ups, downs, and everything in between. 👉 Join here: https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community [https://www.golfyourselfhappy.com/happy-hackers/free-community] 🙏🏻 IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE * Follow / subscribe so you don’t miss future episodes * Share this with a golfing mate who needs to hear it * Leave a quick rating or review — it really helps more golfers find the show 🏌️‍♂️ FINAL THOUGHT Happiness First, Handicap Later