Grow with Robin Breckenridge

Ep. 56: When Hope Keeps Us Stuck in Emotional Addiction, Self-Connection is the Antidote

“Maybe this time it'll go back to the way it was. Maybe if I explain it this way or bring them to this therapist or this place of support or buy this book, maybe they'll get it and they'll start treating me with respect. Maybe if I am just prettier or skinnier or cater to their needs more, they'll pick me consistently. Maybe this time, something will change.”  The hope we keep holding onto in toxic relationships keeps us attached to who we want our partner to be, rather than who they show themselves to be. Even worse, our nervous systems become attached to the highs and lows of these dynamics, creating feelings of physical addiction and dependency. These relationships can feel exciting, but they come at the great cost of abandoning ourselves and living in perpetual survival mode. Healing from addictive love isn’t just about leaving the dynamic, it's about rebuilding a relationship with yourself that feels safe enough to come home to. Reconnecting with yourself is a learned skill that requires conscious effort, but once you start choosing yourself, you realize you don’t have to disappear in healthy relationships to stay loved, and that’s where everything changes. Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]

Ep. 55: Understanding the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

A lot of narcissistic relationships do not start badly. They start with a lot of intensity, connection, and attention. You feel pursued, you feel deeply chosen, seen, special. It can feel like, ‘finally, someone sees me, chooses me, and wants me in the way that I've always wanted to be wanted.’ For those of us that have spent a lot of our lives feeling emotionally deprived or like we've had to fight for love, that kind of intensity feels intoxicating. But narcissistic abuse operates as a cycle, and when that dynamic inevitably moves from lovebombing to devaluation, you’ll do just about anything to get back to the way it was, even when it means abandoning yourself.  This episode, I’m following up on my conversation with Elise Iafrate and breaking down how these narcissistic dynamics form, the different stages of the abuse cycle, why it can feel so impossible to leave once you’re hooked, and what self-abandonment looks like in these relationships.  Whether you’re stuck in the cycle yourself or you’re watching a loved one go through it and you feel helpless, understanding the psychology behind what they’re doing and why it works is the first step in breaking out of the cycle. The bravest thing you can do in this dynamic is to stop trying to save the relationship and start saving yourself.  Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]

Ep. 54: Taking Back Your Power After Navigating Narcissism with Elise Iafrate

This episode, I'm sitting down with someone who has done this work deeply in her own life and now supports other women through some of the most challenging relationship dynamics there are. Elise Iafrate is a strategic consultant who works with women going through high-conflict divorces, especially when narcissistic patterns are involved. She has a background in family law, giving her a unique perspective from both a practical and emotional lens.  Elise grew up in a family dynamic where high-conflict personalities were common, and it wasn’t until our work together that she started to recognize how self-abandonment and a lack of boundaries were survival skills she was still holding onto. Through boundary work and inner child healing, Elise has been able to reclaim her power, and she now brings purpose to her experiences by helping other women do the same.  Elise is someone who’s incredibly brave and deeply committed to creating the life she wants. Her story is a reflection of what's possible when somebody is willing to look at their life, tell the truth, look at what's not working, and choose something different, and I’m so honored to share our conversation with you. Resources Instagram & Facebook: @eliseiafratedivorce  Website: swansadvocacy.com [http://swansadvocacy.com] Book recommendation: The Power of Awakening: Mindfulness Practices and Spiritual Tools to Transform Your Life by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer [https://www.hayhouse.com/the-power-of-awakening-ebook]

Ep. 53: Reconnecting with the Six Pillars of Self-Care

In episode five, we walked through the six foundational areas of self-care. You slowed down, looked at your life, rated yourself in each area, and then life continued. We can move through our lives without even realizing that we've drifted a little; it happens quietly. But getting back into alignment can happen just as quietly.  We have two options in life: we either operate in our default settings, or we operate in intention. Systems like six areas of self-care allow you to recognize when you’re out of alignment and to return to yourself in small, intentional ways. This episode isn’t about learning a whole new system, it’s a reminder of the many wonderful tools you already have in your toolbox.  Self-care is a relationship. It is built through presence, through awareness, and through choosing yourself over and over again. Wherever you are today, come back to yourself, even slightly. This is where the shift begins, this is where the reconnection begins.  Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]

Ep. 52: Creating a Practice of Self-Forgiveness

There are moments in your life you've already thought about hundreds of times. You've replayed them, analyzed them, taken them to therapy, maybe you even understand what happened or why, but you haven't quite made peace with it yet. And because of that, a part of you is still back there, holding on, revisiting it, and using it as a reference point for how you see yourself today.  No matter how much you grow, you're still holding that version of yourself as evidence, keeping you disconnected from who you are now. Self-forgiveness is the only way to let go of the story. Self-forgiveness is the moment you stop turning on yourself and begin turning back toward yourself. It's where you can see clearly what happened and still stay connected to yourself in it.  You are human. You are going to have moments where you don't get it right. That’s not a failure, that's the experience of being human. You are here to learn, to grow, and to become more aware of yourself through these experiences. You don't become someone you love by getting everything right, you do it by staying with yourself through it all and being a safe place to return to no matter what.  Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]