Grow with Robin Breckenridge

Ep. 59: The Three Lies of the Ego

As I was reflecting back on last week's episode with Mike Morris, I was reminded of something called the three lies of the ego: I am what I have, I am what I do, I am what other people say I am. These thoughts are often running so unconsciously that we don't even realize we're believing them. They sound true and they feel true, and over time they can quietly influence how we see ourselves and the world.  This episode, I’ll walk you through each of the three lies of the ego and invite you to notice where they may show up in your life. Once you’re able to differentiate between somebody else’s experience of you and your experience of you, you can start to answer the existential question of “Who am I?” Not what you’ve accomplished, not who you are in relation to others, not who people think you are, but who you are at your core outside of everything else.  What you have changes, what you do changes, and what people think changes. Life changes, but character travels with us. Values travel with us. Integrity travels with us. Those deeper core qualities remain whether life is going according to plan or not, and that's the best place to begin when it comes to finding who you are.  Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]

Ep. 58: Letting Go of the Story Our Ego Is Telling Us with Michael Morris

There are people who enter your life and help you solve problems, and then there are people who fundamentally change the way you see yourself and the world. My guest this episode, Mike Morris, has been one of those people for me. Mike entered my life as my therapist, but he became so much more than that. He held space for me that I had never experienced before, and it fundamentally changed my life.  As a therapist with more than 40 years of clinical experience, Mike has helped countless people navigate anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions, illness, divorce, and loss. Mike has a profound way of helping people loosen their grip on suffering and return to what is real, meaningful, and alive within themselves.  Mike feels like the spiritual dad I always needed in this life, not because he rescued me or fixed me, but because he saw me. He challenged me, believed in me, and helped me see myself more clearly. Through that relationship, I learned something that has become foundational to the work that I do today: that healing happens in safe relationships.  If you've ever listened to me talk about healing, acceptance, suffering, or what it means to feel fully human, there's a good chance those seeds were planted by Mike Morris. He has inspired me to hold the space that I hold for all of my clients and everyone listening, and it truly feels like a full-circle moment to share his wisdom with you this episode.  Resources The Sedona Method [https://www.sedona.com/Home.asp]  Mike’s book recommendations:  The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle The Journey Into Self by Eckhart Tolle  Loving What Is by Byron Katie  A Thousand Names for Joy by Byron Katie  Rupert Spira [https://rupertspira.com/]  Adyashanti [https://adyashanti.opengatesangha.org/]  Sunny Sharma - YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuyKuowJW8WqMl-sckc0tjg]

Ep. 57: Finding Life on the Other Side of Relational Withdrawal with Erin Watt

So you’ve figured out you’re repeating unhealthy relationship patterns that keep you feeling stuck and take you out of alignment with your authentic self. Now what? This is the question my guest Erin Watt, whose words of wisdom you’ve heard on this podcast before, is answering in her upcoming book, Love is Not a Drug. Like me, Erin has experienced these toxic relational dynamics firsthand, and only when she started approaching them as physical addictions was she able to break free from the patterning. In her work, Erin emphasizes that love itself is not addictive in nature; after all, love is the highest vibrational state there is. The addictive aspect of these dynamics lies rather in the compulsion for connection, the emotional high of feeling chosen, and a dysregulated nervous system that confuses familiarity with safety.  Much like substance withdrawal, withdrawing from addictive relationships requires a temporary discomfort that can feel impossible to bear. Erin is here to reassure you that healing is possible and a life full of genuine connection and authentic alignment is waiting for you on the other side.  Resources Substack: https://substack.com/@loveisnotadrug [https://substack.com/@loveisnotadrug] Website: innerrae.com [https://innerrae.com/about/]  Instagram/TikTok: @erinewatt /  @innerrae YouTube: @innerrae

Ep. 56: When Hope Keeps Us Stuck in Emotional Addiction, Self-Connection is the Antidote

“Maybe this time it'll go back to the way it was. Maybe if I explain it this way or bring them to this therapist or this place of support or buy this book, maybe they'll get it and they'll start treating me with respect. Maybe if I am just prettier or skinnier or cater to their needs more, they'll pick me consistently. Maybe this time, something will change.”  The hope we keep holding onto in toxic relationships keeps us attached to who we want our partner to be, rather than who they show themselves to be. Even worse, our nervous systems become attached to the highs and lows of these dynamics, creating feelings of physical addiction and dependency. These relationships can feel exciting, but they come at the great cost of abandoning ourselves and living in perpetual survival mode. Healing from addictive love isn’t just about leaving the dynamic, it's about rebuilding a relationship with yourself that feels safe enough to come home to. Reconnecting with yourself is a learned skill that requires conscious effort, but once you start choosing yourself, you realize you don’t have to disappear in healthy relationships to stay loved, and that’s where everything changes. Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]

Ep. 55: Understanding the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

A lot of narcissistic relationships do not start badly. They start with a lot of intensity, connection, and attention. You feel pursued, you feel deeply chosen, seen, special. It can feel like, ‘finally, someone sees me, chooses me, and wants me in the way that I've always wanted to be wanted.’ For those of us that have spent a lot of our lives feeling emotionally deprived or like we've had to fight for love, that kind of intensity feels intoxicating. But narcissistic abuse operates as a cycle, and when that dynamic inevitably moves from lovebombing to devaluation, you’ll do just about anything to get back to the way it was, even when it means abandoning yourself.  This episode, I’m following up on my conversation with Elise Iafrate and breaking down how these narcissistic dynamics form, the different stages of the abuse cycle, why it can feel so impossible to leave once you’re hooked, and what self-abandonment looks like in these relationships.  Whether you’re stuck in the cycle yourself or you’re watching a loved one go through it and you feel helpless, understanding the psychology behind what they’re doing and why it works is the first step in breaking out of the cycle. The bravest thing you can do in this dynamic is to stop trying to save the relationship and start saving yourself.  Resources Website: robinbreckenridge.com [http://robinbreckenridge.com] Instagram: @coachwithrobin TikTok: @robinbreckenridge YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge [https://www.youtube.com/@growwithrobinbreckenridge]