In, Not Of

On Halloween, womanhood, and turning 30

Anyone else noticed how young women seem to LOVE spooky season? I can't speak for everyone else, but I can unpack it for myself. In this episode, I talk about the appeal of Halloween over other holidays, my own attitude toward it, and the things that we use holidays as a cultural stand-in for. Let's get into it.

Why "side hustles" trigger my fight or flight response

In this episode, I spent some time unpacking the strong reaction I have toward the whole idea of a "side hustle" - the good, the bad, and the "only partially rational". Let's talk about side hustles – why I simultaneously want nothing to do with them and feel this weird responsibility to have one.

On race, identity, and the enduring power of Black womanhood

Deviating a bit from my loose schedule to talk a bit about racial identity, racial/ethnic ambiguity. Thoughts on the concept of "white passing", the "one-drop rule" and their utility (or lack thereof). How much do others' perceptions shape the way we identify? Does living in the Bay Area make it easier to talk about race? What happens to my identity (or yours) when someone brings my own privilege to my awareness?

What does it mean to be "in, but not of"?

Ever had the thought "I wonder how a random 29 year old married Black girl in a bisexual flag t-shirt relates to the concept of being in but not of the world referenced in John 17:15-16"? If not, oh well, 'cause I already hit publish. :) This episode is really a snapshot in time: a reflection on the name of this podcast, thoughts on why this idea is resonating with me, and an honest look into where I'm at with this concept, knowing that my mindset may evolve over time. Prompts to think about: 1. What is something that you are experiencing right now that you feel a strong urge to wrap up as part of your identity? Would you still be you if you weren't "in" that place right now? 2. What is something that you know is not what you are made of?

Are we venting or problem solving? Mindful responses to negative emotions.

Alternative title: your wife isn't actually mad about the dishwasher. In this episode, I talk about responding mindfully to our loved ones' negative emotions. How can we treat emotions as information to respond to, rather than instant calls to action? How can we empower ourselves (and our loved ones) to communicate openly and release ourselves from the urge to skip over the feelings and launch straight into problem solving?