Not Saving It For Later - Guiding Women Through Divorce & Beyond

The Invisible Prison Most Married Women Don't See

Season 2 Episode 3: The Invisible Prison Most Married Women Don't See.If you've ever felt vaguely exhausted in your marriage but couldn't quite name why — walking on eggshells, repeating the same arguments, somehow still the one carrying it all — this conversation is going to put words on it.Abby Eckel is one of Hannah's favorite follows online. She talks about domestic labor, the mental load, and the quiet inequities baked into most marriages — and she does it without sugar-coating any of it. She and Hannah dig into why "just leave" is some of the worst advice women get, what it actually looks like to center yourself in small daily ways, and why so many smart, capable women stay in the invisible prison even when the key is in their own pocket.Honest, funny, and full of permission slips. If you needed someone to tell you it's okay to make a dinner you like, take the bath during the football game, and stop being the family cruise ship director — start here.Timestamps:- 01:17 — Meet Abby Eckel: domestic labor and the invisible load- 03:27 — Why Fair Play is a band-aid, not the answer- 04:20 — The root problem: nobody thinks women's labor is valuable- 05:22 — The invisible timeline drilled into girls from birth- 07:18 — Church-boy "submissive" theology and the women it breaks- 10:56 — The invisible prison (and the key in your pocket)- 11:24 — The shift that changes everything: believing you deserve more- 14:03 — You are worthy because you exist. Full stop.- 15:21 — First-generation freedom: credit cards, bank accounts, ancestral trauma- 16:44 — Centering yourself doesn't mean a hobby and a babysitter- 19:01 — Thermostats, default settings, and how men center themselves automatically- 21:40 — Hannah's mantra: that is not my preference- 26:43 — The hot bath during the football game- 27:58 — I am not a cruise ship director- 31:47 — Hold the line. Men respect a boundary.- 34:10 — Permission to take up space and find fulfillment outside the kids- 36:46 — Why "just leave" is unkind, unhelpful, and ignores the system- 39:30 — The recon mission: talking to a divorce lawyer is fact-finding, not the point of no return- 43:21 — A decision has been made: deciding before you act- 49:39 — Surviving the marriage vs. healing from it- 50:21 — Markers that the episode is talking to YOU- 52:23 — Time, place, and manner restrictions on talking to your spouse- 53:16 — Beige malaise: when there's nothing to look forward to anymore- 54:04 — What's been shaking Abby lately- 56:57 — Hannah on 2026: joy, not on layaway- 58:10 — Abby's one piece of advice: think and act like your husbandMentioned in this episode:- "Fair Play" — Eve Rodsky- "Wild Geese" — Mary Oliver- "Be Your Future Self Now" — Benjamin Hardy- Simon Sinek (find your why)Connect With Abby:Instagram: @AbbyEckelFacebook: @TheAbbyEckelWebsite: AbbyEckel.comThinking about divorce in Texas? You don't have to figure it out alone.Hembree Bell Law is a Texas family-law-only firm built for high-functioning women who want to end their marriage well — with clarity, integrity, and a real plan for what comes next. Schedule a confidential consultation at (http://HembreeBell.com)Considering divorce but not in Texas or not ready to file? Start here.My Confident Divorce is Hannah's free community for women considering divorce. Access free coaching, private groups, preparation documents and so much more! Head over to (http://MyConfidentDivorce.com)

People Pleasing Is the Highest Form of Lying

Season 2 Episode 2: People Pleasing Is the Highest Form of Lying.If "I'll just do it" is your default — at home, with the kids, at work, in your marriage — this is the conversation that's going to wreck you in the best way.Marla Mattenson is Hannah's longtime coach, friend, and one of the most quietly brilliant people she's ever worked with. Former math teacher, doula, body worker, executive coach, and a meditator with 23 years and 23 ten-day silent retreats under her belt. In this episode, Hannah brings you the Marla Greatest Hits — the small, simple shifts that quietly rewire how you communicate, how you set boundaries, and how you stop bleeding yourself dry trying to keep everyone else comfortable.We get into consent in everyday relationships, the difference between a clean yes and a "mushy yes," why people pleasing is technically lying, and the nervous system regulation tools (red, yellow, green) you can actually use the next time you feel agitated, stuck, or about to snap.This one is layered, tender, and weirdly practical. Stay till the end — Marla's takeaway is the line you're going to want on your fridge.Timestamps:- 01:22 — Meet Marla Mattenson: coach, math teacher, doula, body worker- 04:34 — The gift of consent: stop vomiting your truth on people- 05:41 — Clean yes vs. mushy yes (and why we don't proceed through mushy)- 07:05 — Considering the landing: how is what I'm about to say going to land- 10:24 — Where your consent is being trampled and you didn't know it- 12:01 — Lack of consent is the beginning of resentment building- 12:50 — How to practice consent with your kids (and your teen step-kid)- 14:41 — Consent as a micro tool that softens the whole road ahead- 21:22 — Asking is now a good time at work, on calls, with your husband- 22:30 — Suppressed words show up in your jaw, neck, and headaches- 23:00 — The audio note hack: get it out, send it later, build intimacy anyway- 24:24 — How consent eliminates people pleasing- 25:51 — Marla's most famous line: people pleasing is the highest form of lying- 29:20 — Lying as a spectrum: white lies all the way to malicious deception- 30:32 — Nobody wants to think of themselves as a liar — but here's how to catch yourself- 37:20 — Suppressed yeses become rage: how marriages rupture from the inside- 39:30 — Why divorce can look like a personality break (it's not — it's the volcano)- 42:14 — Nervous system 101: red, yellow, green and fight, flight, freeze, fawn- 45:04 — Feeling safe in red is intimacy. Feeling unsafe in red is collapse.- 52:58 — Marla on Vipashana: 23 years, 23 silent retreats, observing without reacting- 54:59 — Owning your sensations, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as yours- 1:00:00 — Marla's free nervous system training (linked below)- 1:05:05 — Get into nature, feet in the dirt, cold water on the back of the neck- 1:07:15 — Marla's one thing for the women of divorce land: you're doing it perfectly- 1:09:50 — Even your messy choices and mistakes are working for goodMentioned in this episode:- "Vipashana" silent meditation tradition- The Gottmans (relationship research)Connect With Marla:Free training: ethicalsalesinstitute.com Follow her on Instagram and LinkedInhttps://www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson/linkedin.com/in/marla-mattenson-08613195Thinking about divorce in Texas? You don't have to figure it out alone.Hembree Bell Law is a Texas family-law-only firm built for high-functioning women who want to end their marriage well — with clarity, integrity, and a real plan for what comes next. Schedule a confidential consultation at (http://HembreeBell.com)Considering divorce but not in Texas or not ready to file? Start here.My Confident Divorce is Hannah's free community for women considering divorce. Access free coaching, private groups, preparation documents and so much more! Head over to (http://MyConfidentDivorce.com)

I Had to Lose Two Marriages To Learn How To Love Myself

Season 2 Episode 1: I Had to Lose Two Marriages To Learn How To Love Myself If you've ever walked out of one relationship straight into the next and wondered why it started to feel familiar — this conversation is for you. Amy Edwards is the host of "Anything But Mid" and "The Amy Edwards Show", an author, and a musician who looks nothing like the version of "in her 50s" most of us were sold. She's also been divorced twice. In this episode, she's open about all of it — including the parts most women won't say out loud — and we get into pick-me energy, why cheating is rarely about the other person, the mirror practice that changed everything, and how worthiness, respect, and self-trust actually get built. This one is raw, funny, and full of the kind of honesty that makes you sit up a little straighter. If you're somewhere in the middle of a divorce — or somewhere in the middle of trying to figure out who you are again — start here. Timestamps: 00:58 — Meet Amy Edwards: podcaster, author, musician 03:20 — Two divorces, three marriages, and "anything but mid" 04:30 — Why we repeat the same patterns in the next relationship 06:40 — "I'm the common denominator" 08:30 — The dark hole: hope, depression, and getting through it day by day 10:00 — Where was I giving away my power?- 12:30 — Why cheating wasn't about the husbands — it was about validation- 13:15 — *Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It* (Kamal Ravikant) and the mirror practice 15:40 — Pick-me energy: how women get conditioned into it- 16:20 — The self-love test: can you sit alone in the quiet? 18:00— Do your preferences matter? Centering yourself in your own life. 19:40 — Self-love → self-worth → self-respect → self-trust 21:15 — "You are worthy because you exist. Full stop."- 22:00 — Worthy of joy, peace, a calm home, and the life you actually want 23:50 — The four-layer stack: love, worth, respect, trust 25:00 — Building self-trust through small promises kept 28:00 — Untangling it all: the core is self-love 30:30 — How women get kept obedient — and what changes when you stop 31:15 — Learning to date again: "It's not that there are no good men out there" 34:30 — Speaking your truth in new relationships 40:30 — The real mirror work: can you laugh with yourself like a best friend? 48:55 — Amy's #1 piece of advice for women in divorce land- 51:00 — Take yourself on dates. Treat yourself like the love of your life. 54:30 — What "Not Saving It For Later" means to Amy 56:30 — Teaser: the dating episode coming next Mentioned in this episode: "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" — Kamal Ravikant - "Anything But Mid" podcast — Amy Edwards - "The Amy Edwards Show" — Amy Edwards Connect With Amy: Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5SdojmuUpXfksyQD8gbXJm?si=9e3d4fcb157d447e&nd=1&dlsi=f008243d30034a4f Instagram: @RealAnyEdwards Thinking about divorce in Texas? You don't have to figure it out alone.Hembree Bell Law is a Texas family-law-only firm built for high-functioning women who want to end their marriage well — with clarity, integrity, and a real plan for what comes next. Schedule a confidential consultation at HembreeBell.com Considering divorce but not in Texas or not ready to file? Start here.My Confident Divorce is Hannah's free community for women considering divorce. Access free coaching, private groups, preparation documents and so much more! Head over to MyConfidentDivorce.com

Love After Divorce: Blending Families, Choosing Again, and Not Saving Life for Later (Featuring Drew Bell)

Ep. 12 Love After Divorce: Blending Families, Choosing Again, and Not Saving Life for Later (Featuring Drew Bell) In this deeply personal episode, Hannah Hembree Bell sits down with her husband, Drew Bell, for an honest conversation about love after divorce, building a relationship inside a ready-made family, and what it really means to choose each other—again and again—after everything has fallen apart once. This isn’t a fairy-tale “second marriage” story. It’s a real one. Hannah and Drew talk candidly about meeting shortly after Hannah’s divorce, navigating the realities of dating as a mom, stepping into a family that already exists, and the quiet decisions that make a relationship steady instead of dramatic. If you’ve ever wondered: Is it too soon to love again? Can a relationship be calm and still be real? What does it look like when someone chooses your whole life—not just you? This episode is for you. Together, Hannah and Drew unpack what it takes to build something grounded after chaos—and why waiting to live, love, or feel joy “later” is a cost most women don’t realize they’re paying. Episode Timeline 00:00 – Welcome to Not Saving It for Later 01:00 – Introducing Drew & why this conversation matters 04:00 – Meeting shortly after divorce: timing, fear, and honesty 08:30 – Dating as a mom & stepping into an existing family system 13:00 – What blending families actually requires (and what it doesn’t) 18:00 – Calm vs. chaos: redefining what “chemistry” means 22:30 – Choosing steadiness over emotional whiplash 27:00 – Respect, patience, and learning your role inside a family 32:00 – What Drew learned about partnership, parenting, and support 38:00 – Love without urgency, pressure, or performance 44:00 – “Not saving joy, peace, or life for later” About Drew Bell Drew Bell is a trial attorney who spends his professional life handling high-stakes litigation—and his personal life building a steady, intentional partnership and family with Hannah. Mentioned in This Episode The Circle — Weekly live coaching + My Confident Divorce course → myconfidentdivorce.com/circle Hembree Bell Law Firm (Texas) → hembreebell.com Follow Hannah on Instagram & TikTok → @hannahhembreebell Not Saving It for Later is the podcast for women navigating divorce and life beyond it—where we stop whispering about what’s hard and start talking about what’s real. This show is for education and inspiration only — not legal or mental health advice.If you are in danger, contact local emergency services or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).

What No One Tells You Before Filing For Divorce (featuring Christopher Anderson)

Ep 11. What No One Tells You Before Filing For Divorce (featuring Christopher Anderson) In this grounded conversation, Hannah sits down with one of her closest advisors and longtime family law attorney, Christopher Anderson, a man who has spent decades inside the systems most people only encounter on the worst days of their lives. Christopher has prosecuted domestic violence and sex crimes in the Bronx, represented families in high-conflict divorce, built and run law firms across the country, and lived the long-term consequences of a “bad split” as a child of divorce himself. He’s seen what actually protects children, and what quietly destroys them. Together, Hannah and Christopher talk about why divorce doesn’t have to be chaos, why the system so often rewards conflict, and why leadership — in families, firms, and life — requires more honesty, restraint, and intention than most people are willing to practice. If you’re in the middle of divorce… If you’re exhausted by the process… If you feel like you’re carrying the emotional and strategic weight for everyone else… This episode will help you slow down, zoom out, and remember that clarity is kindness. This is not about winning. It’s about building something that lasts. 00:00 – Not Saving It for Later: Why We’re Done Waiting 02:30 – Who Christopher Anderson Really Is 05:00 – From the Bronx DA’s Office to Family Law 08:30 – Prosecuting Domestic Violence & Crimes Against Children 12:00 – Why Family Law Became Personal 15:30 – Being a Child of Divorce: When “Getting Out” Costs Everything 19:00 – Walking Away From Money to Protect Kids 23:00 – “There Has to Be a Better Way” 27:00 – Why Divorce Turns Chaotic So Fast 31:00 – The Hidden Cost of Conflict on Children 35:00 – Leadership, Power & Responsibility 39:00 – What the Legal System Can’t Fix 43:00 – Why Chaos — Not Divorce — Harms Kids 47:00 – Testing Everything on Yourself 51:00 – Building Firms (and Families) With Intention 55:00 – What Actually Protects People Long-Term 58:00 – Final Truth: Slow Is Strong Connect With Christopher Anderson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawfirmbusiness/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawfirmbusiness/] Christopher Anderson — Family Law Attorney & Advisor Based in Colorado https://www.newleaf.family/ [https://www.newleaf.family/] Mentioned In This Episode The Circle — Weekly live coaching + My Confident Divorce → https://myconfidentdivorce.com/circle [https://myconfidentdivorce.com/circle] OurFamilyWizard — Court-trusted co-parenting communication → https://ourfamilywizard.com/HHB [https://ourfamilywizard.com/HHB] Hembree Bell Law Firm (Texas) → https://hembreebell.com [https://hembreebell.com/] Follow Hannah on Instagram & TikTok → @hannahhembreebell This podcast is for education and inspiration only — not legal, medical, or mental health advice. If you’re in Texas and need legal guidance, consult a licensed attorney. If you are in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233).