Say Hello to your Therapist

14. Putting Everyone Else First? Helping the Helpers with Maria Zabeti

Helping the Helpers: Maria Zabeti on Fatigue, Boundaries, CBT, and Brainspotting Dr. Bethany Valenti interviews Maria Zabeti, a California-licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with helping professionals. Maria shares her path to therapy as a second career after years of service-oriented work, including as a medical assistant, and explains her passion for connecting with people and being part of their stories. They discuss common themes among helpers—fatigue, resentment, rumination, stress, anxiety, feeling unappreciated at work and at home, difficulty identifying personal needs and values, and challenges with boundaries that can be rooted in childhood roles and family messages. Maria describes her clinical approach using CBT (including a negative thought journal, feelings charts, evidence for/against thoughts, and alternative thoughts), values clarification, and boundary-setting as gradual “muscle-building,” along with elements of positive psychology focused on self-esteem and self-love. She also explains how and when she introduces brainspotting for trauma and difficult emotions. To learn more about Maria: Website [https://zabetipsychotherapy.com/] Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/maria-l-zabeti-chino-ca/1223177] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/pages/Zabeti%20Psychotherapy/266104023262858/] LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-zabeti-049689318] To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Bethany's Website [http://www.bethanyvalenti.com/] Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sayhellotoyourtherapistpodcast/] Bethany's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bethanyvalentipsyd/] Bethany's Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/p/Bethany-Valenti-PsyD-61579092524236/] Things we talked about: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb [https://lorigottlieb.com/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone/]Feelings Wheel [chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://uca.edu/bewell/files/2020/11/Feelings-Wheel-Learn-How-to-Label-Your-Feelings.pdf]Brainspotting [https://brainspotting.com/about-brainspotting/what-is-brainspotting/] 00:00 Welcome + Meet Maria Zabeti (Helping the Helpers) 01:12 Maria’s Path to Therapy: From Medical Assistant to MFT 04:13 Why Psychology Over HR: The Need for Real Connection 06:00 Who Are “Helping Professionals”? Defining the Umbrella 09:24 The Appreciation Gap: Stress at Work and at Home 10:39 Over-Functioning, Exhaustion & Resentment (The Push-Pull) 17:05 Losing Yourself: Needs, Hobbies, and Values Clarification 19:47 Tools in Session: Feelings Charts to Unlock Emotions 24:42 CBT for Helpers: Negative Thought Journal + Reality Testing 28:11 CBT Example: “My Boss Doesn’t Appreciate Me” Reframed 33:16 Pros, Cons, and Next Steps When Work Isn’t Meeting Your Needs 34:20 Your Worth Isn’t Your Job: Meaning, Identity, and Self-Esteem 35:30 Setting Boundaries at Work (After-Hours Calls & Saying No) 37:28 Where People-Pleasing Starts: Childhood Roles and Learned Beliefs 39:45 Roadblocks to Change: Spouse Expectations, Pressure, and Feeling Trapped 41:39 When to Use Brainspotting: Trauma, Loss, and Toxic Relationship Stress 46:52 How Brainspotting Works: Eye Position, Body Sensations, and Debriefing 54:43 Wrap-Up Q&A: Practice Details, Self-Care, Misconceptions, and Where to Find Her

13. Is it Anxiety or Trauma? An EMDR Deep Dive with Kimberly Richards

Welcome to the Say Hello to your therapist podcast hosted by Dr. Bethany Valenti. In this episode, Dr. Valenti interviews Dr. Kimberly Richards, a therapist specializing in anxiety, trauma, and EMDR therapy. They discuss their experiences with community mental health and how trauma often manifests in various ways such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD. Dr. Richards shares her journey to becoming a therapist, the challenges faced, and her transition to private practice. The conversation delves into the intricacies of trauma therapy, including the use of EMDR, understanding dissociative symptoms, and the importance of addressing trauma for effective mental health treatment. The episode offers insights into how EMDR therapy works, its effectiveness, and the protocols involved. Listeners are encouraged to take care of themselves as the discussion involves heavy topics such as sexual abuse and trauma. To learn more about Kim: https://www.birchrunpsych.com/ [https://www.birchrunpsych.com/] To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Bethany's Website [http://www.bethanyvalenti.com/] Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sayhellotoyourtherapistpodcast/] Bethany's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bethanyvalentipsyd/] Bethany's Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/p/Bethany-Valenti-PsyD-61579092524236/] Things we talked about: Dr. Amber Lyda [https://www.amberlyda.com/] and her episode on the podcast [https://youtu.be/lWq9flj5biM] (Episode 1!) The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk [https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748] Married with Children show DSM 5 [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5] The Living Legacy of Trauma Flipchart by Janina Fisher [https://janinafisher.com/flip-chart/] Got Your Six [https://gotyoursixsupportdogs.org/] service dogs Coulda Had a V8 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VZxE6pW_to]PsyPact Map [https://psypact.gov/page/psypactmap] Fiona Baker Marigold Island Series [https://www.goodreads.com/series/314477-marigold-island] 00:00 Introduction and Content Warning 01:18 Kim's Journey to Becoming a Therapist 02:00 Challenges and Experiences in Education 05:31 Working in the Prison System 09:50 Transition to Private Practice 13:35 Understanding Trauma and Anxiety 20:19 Exploring Covert Trauma 31:33 Dissociation and Trauma Responses 44:41 Exploring Trauma and EMDR Therapy 45:13 Virtual EMDR: Tools and Techniques 47:12 The Science Behind EMDR 49:33 Explaining EMDR to Clients 52:38 EMDR Protocols and Phases 55:22 Using Olfactory Cues in EMDR 58:11 Client Experiences and Feedback 01:18:32 Concluding Thoughts and Resources

12. Brainspotting vs EMDR and Working with Midlife Women with Keely Rodriguez

Join Dr. Bethany Valenti on the 'Say Hello to Your Therapist' podcast as she interviews Keely Rodriguez. Keely shares her journey from various careers to becoming a therapist specializing in trauma, anxiety, and grief for middle-aged and perimenopausal women. The discussion also delves into therapeutic techniques like EMDR and brain spotting, comparing their uses and benefits. Additionally, the conversation touches on the unique challenges faced by midlife women and the importance of addressing mental health during this transitional phase. To learn more about Keely: Website [https://keelyrodrigueztherapy.com] Keely's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/keelyrodrigueztherapist/] Keely's Blog Therapy for Grown Ass Women [https://www.keelyrodrigueztherapy.com/therapy-for-grown-ass-women] Keely's YouTube Channel [https://www.youtube.com/@keelyrodrigueztherapy] To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Bethany's Website [http://www.bethanyvalenti.com/] Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sayhellotoyourtherapistpodcast/] Bethany's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bethanyvalentipsyd/] Bethany's Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/p/Bethany-Valenti-PsyD-61579092524236/] Things we talked about: We Do Not Care Club [https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1FmGztSqec/] aka Melani Sanders [https://instagram.com/justbeingmelani] EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Brainspotting and Dr. David Grand [https://brainspotting.com/about-brainspotting/david-grand-phd/] Dr. Dan Siegel Hand Model of the Brain [https://share.google/rbngpQF9Pu8sNw9qA] Perimenopause [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20354666] 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 01:17 Meet Keely Rodriguez: A Journey to Becoming a Therapist 02:27 Keely's Career Transition and Early Experiences 04:27 Specializing in Women's Mental Health 09:53 Working with the Hispanic Community 13:51 Exploring Brainspotting and EMDR 38:44 Session Structure and Client Follow-Up 40:15 The Importance of Therapeutic Relationships 42:36 Brainspotting and EMDR Techniques 43:41 Impact of COVID on Therapy 44:22 Understanding Midlife and Perimenopause 46:11 Emotional and Physical Challenges of Midlife 56:39 Addressing Anxiety and Depression in Midlife 58:46 Biological and Lifestyle Factors in Mental Health 01:10:30 Therapist's Personal Insights and Practices 01:17:13 Contact Information and Final Thoughts

11. Are You a Burned Out People Pleaser? with Nicole Byrne

Join Bethany Valenti as she chats with Nicole Byrne, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in people pleasing and burnout. In this episode, they discuss the signs of people pleasing, the impact of being a people pleaser on personal fulfillment, and the role of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Nicole shares her five-point checklist for identifying trustworthy relationships and offers insights into managing people pleasing behaviors. They explore actionable strategies for self-compassion, setting boundaries, and fostering authentic connections. To learn more about Nicole: Website: https://counselingwithnicole.com/ Is This Person Trustworthy? A 5-Point Checklist for People-Pleasers: https://counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog/2025/9/17/is-this-person-trustworthy-a-5-point-checklist-for-people-pleasers [https://counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog/2025/9/17/is-this-person-trustworthy-a-5-point-checklist-for-people-pleasers] YouTube video: 5 traits of trustworthy people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNmb17LUdG8 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNmb17LUdG8] General blog page: https://counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@NicoleByrne-LMFT   To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Bethany's Website [http://www.bethanyvalenti.com/] Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sayhellotoyourtherapistpodcast/] Bethany's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bethanyvalentipsyd/] Bethany's Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/p/Bethany-Valenti-PsyD-61579092524236/]   Things we talked about: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy#:~:text=Acceptance%20and%20commitment%20therapy%20(ACT,in%20a%20Psychology%20Today%20post.] The Resident [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8740614/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_in_0_q_residence] on Netflix Kpop Demon Hunter [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14205554/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1_tt_7_nm_0_in_0_q_kpop%2520demon%2520]s on Netflix The Big Year [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1053810/?ref_=fn_t_1] Film Surface Pressure [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQwVKr8rCYw] from Encanto [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2953050/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_in_0_q_Encanto] The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches [https://sangumandanna.com/irregular-witches] by Sangu Mandanna House of the Cerulean Sea [https://www.tjklunebooks.com/the-house-in-the-cerulean-sea] by TJ Klune 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 01:07 Meet Nicole Byrne: Journey to Becoming a Therapist 03:31 Understanding People Pleasing and Burnout 05:19 Defining People Pleasing 10:35 Challenges of People Pleasing in Motherhood 14:30 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Insights 24:30 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care 35:20 Distinguishing Between Good and Kind 35:53 The Hollow Nature of Niceness 36:31 Authenticity in Relationships 37:37 The Challenge of Simple Truths 38:28 Recovering from People Pleasing 39:57 Building Balanced Relationships 40:17 Traits of Trustworthy People 40:52 The Importance of Consideration 49:33 Sincerity and Responsibility 51:58 Reliability and Competence 55:06 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

9. What is Executive Functioning Coaching and How can it help? with Dr. Sophia Haeri

In this episode, Bethany is joined by Dr. Sophia Haeri, an ADHD, academic strategy, and executive functioning coach. Sophia shares her journey to becoming a therapist, her experiences with ADHD, and the importance of executive functioning coaching. We explore what executive functioning coaching is, who can benefit from it, and how it can help individuals struggling with studies or life's demands. Additionally, Sophia such as shame and anxiety, and the ways coaching can provide customized support for each individual's needs.   To learn more about Sophia: Organized-mind.com [https://www.organized-mind.com/] Bellewoodpsychology.com [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sophia-haeri-new-york-ny/1514906]   To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD: Bethany's Website [http://www.bethanyvalenti.com] Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/sayhellotoyourtherapistpodcast/] Bethany's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bethanyvalentipsyd/] Bethany's Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/p/Bethany-Valenti-PsyD-61579092524236/] Things we talked about: How to Keep House While Drowning [https://www.strugglecare.com/books] by KC Davis [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1O_MjMRkPg] You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1277030] By Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest 01:30 Sophia's Journey to Becoming a Therapist 04:31 Discovering ADHD and Executive Functioning Challenges 07:38 The Role of Executive Functioning Coaching 20:51 Understanding Executive Functioning Skills 26:31 Diagnosing and Managing ADHD and Related Challenges 29:31 The Beginning of an Executive Functioning Coaching Practice 30:04 Transforming a Struggling Student's Academic Performance 30:57 The Importance of Diagnosis and Labels 31:55 Long-Term Coaching and Its Impact 32:17 How People Discover Executive Functioning Coaching 33:29 Expanding the Client Base Beyond Students 34:11 The Intersection of Therapy and Coaching 36:38 Practical Strategies for Managing ADHD 37:52 The Role of Prioritization in Executive Functioning 44:59 Finding the Right Support for Executive Functioning 46:39 Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts