The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped

31. "Love is your birthright." With Letia Perry

Letia’s dark night of the soul was preceded by the realisation that she hadn’t been honouring “a big part” of herself. Already initiated as a Navajo Medicine Woman, she eventually embarked on the path of sacred sexuality, and discovered “the missing piece” – eros, the energy of desire and creation. She then spent a year doing deep shadow work, facing her self-sabotaging behaviours and old identities. The process culminated in a profound dark night experience, during which she had no choice but to surrender as her body released. She found herself spontaneously forgiving her brother’s murderer, and subsequently went through a rebirth more painful than actual birth; “I was giving birth while being born.” Amongst many other things, we talk about the realities of shadow work, including weaving and failing; the “spiritual flu” and how “hard core emotional expression” depletes the body; and feeling hollow. We touch on mourning the only version of ourselves we’ve ever known; building a new self; and the importance of boundaries and anchors. We ponder on the true nature of forgiveness, and why it can’t be forced; meeting our inner child; and collective and individual soul sickness. We also mention (and laugh about) having to learn patience; moving slowly, and coming back to ourselves. Letia Perry is a Navajo Medicine Woman, breathwork coach, shadow work guide, Foundation Training instructor, and Sacred Sexual Healer with over 10,000 hours of holding space. She delivers what many call the most powerful breathwork experience in the world. Author of Sacred Flirtship and creator of the world's first handmade Navajo language busy book for children, she bridges ancient indigenous wisdom with embodied healing, guiding souls through the deepest transformations. Connect with Letia [https://linktr.ee/thenavajobreathcoach] Connect with Letia on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/the_navajo_breathcoach_forever/] Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Connect with Fiona [https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/] If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com [darknightunwrapped@gmail.com] Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

30. "My body just said, no more." With Andrea Wachter

Andrea has had a few dark nights, the first of which were focussed around an eating disorder. Growing up in a family – and a culture – obsessed with appearance, she struggled with self-criticism and rampant perfectionism, and was “lost in shame for decades.” She searched for help for a long time, and eventually came to realise that, while she had believed her body to be the problem, it was actually her thinking that was disordered. Gradually, “the iceberg of programmes and self-hatred began to melt.” Andrea’s second dark night almost took her life. She got physically sick, and “was in a puddle of zero energy.” Slowly, she began to hear her body’s whispers, and came out of the grip of perfectionism into kindness. Amongst many other things, Andrea and I talk about feeling the buried feelings that “got stuffed down”; some things needing to die and others needing to be born; and discovering our innate wisdom. We touch on tending to the breed that we are; honouring our nervous systems; and the biochemistry of old programming. We also discuss borrowing hope from those who “have been where you are and gotten through it”; realising that something is being asked of you; and blooming where we’re planted. Andrea Wachter, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and meditation teacher who is passionate about helping people overcome anxiety, depression, disordered eating, body image issues, and relationship conflicts. Drawing from professional expertise, personal recovery, and a good dose of humor, Andrea brings compassion and practical tools to her work with others. She offers a variety of affordable online courses and free guided meditations that provide a wide range of strategies for healing, growth, and meaningful change. Connect with Andrea [https://andreawachter.com/] Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Connect with Fiona [https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/] If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com [darknightunwrapped@gmail.com] Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

29. "I think it was necessary to break it all." With Anna Teggelaar

Anna’s dark night began in 2012. Facing a potential cancer diagnosis, her system – which had been in survival mode since childhood and her mother’s illness – crashed overnight. She experienced intense anxiety, terror and suffering, and thought she was going crazy – she “had no clue what was happening.” After six months, a friend lent her a book by Eckhart Tolle, and she started to understand that she was reconnecting with a deeper part of herself. Slowly, she realised that she was carrying intergenerational trauma, and that there was an intelligence to the process. Amongst many other things, Anna and I talk about being unravelled and undone; the role of resistance; and learning how to stay with ourselves. We mention the uniqueness of each person’s journey, and how much we stumbled around; gradually moving towards greater wholeness; and touching into the deeper mystical level. We discuss meeting the shadow; wanting to be perfect; and the compassion that comes with seeing the actual nature of things. We also talk about our individual and collective madness, and how “we’re waking up from thousands of years of insanity.” Finally, we touch on love and power; becoming self-led; and knowing that – ultimately – the dark night is good news. Anna Teggelaar guides people in self-healing and embodied inner work, helping them to make the process their own. Her work is rooted in the self-healing capacity of consciousness, and supports the integration of conditioning and stored emotional energy, so you can live more freely and from the heart. What began as her dark night of the soul in 2012 grew into a deep passion for the transformation of human consciousness. She offers online sessions, writes about healing, and has developed three practical guides to make inner work accessible and grounded in everyday life. Connect with Anna [https://www.thehumanconditioning.com/] Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Connect with Fiona [https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/] If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com [darknightunwrapped@gmail.com] Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

28. “This is me now, interacting with so many layers of myself.” With Hany Ezzat

A year on from our conversation in Episode 6, Hany and I explore the organic movement that comes after the dark night. Amongst other things, we talk about moving beyond the shoulds to flesh, blood and bone; the difference between presence and being present; and telling and untelling the story. We discuss the ebb and flow of the space of unconditionality, and how it eventually anchors itself within us; the shattering of identities – “you’re losing the masks that you have put on to survive life”; and how we come face to face with our “inner architecture”. We touch on discovering a sense of resolve or steadfastness rather than effort or force; our bodies saying stop; and living in sensations rather than in concepts. We share our experience of self-betrayal, and how it’s abated now that we’re for ourselves; how depression and anxiety resulted from losing ourselves; and the self being fully itself. We mention thresholds; becoming raw and human for the first time; and the trustworthiness of the somatic superintelligence. Finally, we describe how there’s now place for hatred as well as love; how the dark night is about integration, not elimination; and how humankind needs to come out of fragmentation into humaneness. Hany Ezzat has walked through the dark night of the soul and come out writing. A storyteller at his core, he crafts narratives that connect, challenge, and endure. With twenty-six years in branding and creative strategy, he builds with meaning - whether in business or in life. Reinvention isn’t a phase for him; it’s the way forward. R.A.W. is the work shaped from his own process — a way of witnessing people return to themselves without theatrics. The rest is still unfolding. Connect with Hany [https://rawpresence.co/] Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Connect with Fiona [https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/] Mentions Fiona quotes John Keats’s 1817 letter to his friend Benjamin Bailey: “O for a life of Sensations rather than of Thoughts!” Hany quotes Kahlil Gibran’s line from The River Cannot Go Back: “It is said that before entering the sea a river trembles with fear.” If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com [darknightunwrapped@gmail.com] Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit

27. "It was a journey of meeting myself." With Fiona Matalon

Fiona’s dark night began during Covid. After a sudden break up, she went to Mexico, and something started shifting – her “soul wanted solitude.” She felt like she was losing her mind as her whole way of being was slowly unearthed. After a while, she moved to Montreal, and then to an island; there was a pull towards “the soil in which I could dismantle and decompose.” During this time, she encountered her deepest attachment and existential woundings, and gradually found solace in not knowing. Amongst many other things, we talk about what happens when the ‘should’ structure falls apart; starting to navigate by our bodies and hearts; and the dethroning of the mind that happens in the process. We discuss how layered the dark night is; the immense anger, grief and shame that came in; and how nothing worked “as a means to run away from it.” We touch into no longer being able to mask ourselves; becoming the wise older women that we needed; and the shock of actually being here, rather than being dissociated in some way. We also describe the gift of living it, whatever it is in the moment; and discovering simple, organic resources along the way. Fiona Matalon is a somatic psychotherapist. She offers a holistic approach to those who are looking to deepen their relationship to themselves and to live a life that is led by their heart, soul and inner knowing. In sessions, together with her clients, she uses the intelligence of the body to allow a deeper exploraton that goes beyond the everyday mind. She brings her own deep lived experience and continuous learnings into her practice. Connect with Fiona [https://fionamatalon.com/] Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She works one to one with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Connect with Fiona [https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/] Mentions Fiona mentions Jeannie Zandie [ https://www.jeanniezandi.com/]. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. You’re welcome to contact The Dark Night of the Soul Unwrapped via email: darknightunwrapped@gmail.com [darknightunwrapped@gmail.com] Music by James Waring / Design by Adam McKillop / Artwork by Stefan Armoneit