The Gay Relationship Podcast

Kink, Shame & The Truth About “Sides” | Interview with Dr. Joe Kort

In this episode, psychotherapist and sexologist Dr. Joe Kort (he/him) joins Tom Bruett (he/him) for a candid conversation about queer sexuality, kink, shame, relationships, and identity. Dr. Joe Kort shares how his own experiences shaped his groundbreaking work with gay men, kinky clients, and sexually fluid people — including why he walked away from the “sex addiction” model and became one of the field’s most provocative voices. They explore the meaning behind the term “side,” the growing conversation around outercourse, how kink develops, why queer communities can sometimes police each other’s identities, and what therapists often get wrong about sexuality. Dr. Kort also opens up about his 33-year relationship, navigating neurodiversity in partnership, surviving the AIDS crisis, and the importance of creating more expansive definitions of sex, intimacy, and desire. This episode is an honest, funny, and deeply insightful conversation about authenticity, erotic identity, queer relationships, and breaking free from sexual shame. About Joe: Psychotherapist Joe Kort (he/him), PhD, LMSW, is the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist, author of four books, lecturer and facilitator of therapeutic workshops. Throughout his 40 years of private practice, he successfully has utilized varying therapy modalities to help hundreds of individuals and couples improve their lives and strengthen their relationships. Dr. Kort specializes in marital problems and conflicts; mixed orientation marriages; male sexuality and sexual health concerns; “sex addiction,” out-of-control sexual behaviors; sexual identity issues; childhood sexual abuse; LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy; and Imago Relationship Therapy. He is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), a safe and effective treatment that can help patients who have suffered for years from anxiety, distressing memories, nightmares, insomnia, abuse or other traumatic events. Dr. Kort obtained his undergraduate degree from Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan, with a dual major in psychology and social work. He earned master’s degrees in social work and psychology from Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan, and a doctorate (PhD) in Clinical Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. Connect with Joe: Website: https://joekort.com/ [https://joekort.com/] Group Practice: https://crsh.com/ [https://crsh.com/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/joekort [https://www.youtube.com/user/joekort] Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love with Dr Joe Kort [https://joekort.com/podcast/] Instagram: @drjoekort TikTok: @drjoekort Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5] Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards]

Why Intimacy Can Feel Impossible for Queer Men | Interview with Andrew Katsinas

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Katsinas (he/him), a queer sex and trauma therapist, for a wide-ranging conversation about queer male sexuality, emotional intimacy, shame, spirituality, and the hidden ways many LGBTQ+ people learn to disconnect from themselves during sex and relationships. Together, they explore topics like religious messaging, bisexual erasure, hookup culture, performance anxiety, consent, and the “second adolescence” many queer people experience after coming out. The conversation also examines why so many people feel pressure to perform during sex, how sexual scripts shape queer relationships, and the difference between spirituality and organized religion. Through an honest and nuanced discussion, Tom and Andrew unpack what authentic connection, pleasure, and self-understanding can look like for queer people navigating dating, identity, intimacy, and healing. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Andrew: Andrew Katsinas (he/him) LMFT, CST, is a queer sex and trauma therapist in West Los Angeles passionate about reclaiming pleasure, healing trauma, and expanding sex education. He is also a massive cinephile, globe trotter, and most importantly, a daddy to his corgi/babygirl Riley. Connect with Andrew: Website: www.andrewkatsinas.com [http://www.andrewkatsinas.com] Instagram: @akatsinasmft Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]

How Religious Trauma Shapes Queer Dating & Mental Health | Interview with Kit Morgan

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Kit Morgan (he/they), a queer and trans religious trauma-informed educator, licensed clinical social worker, and therapist. Together, they explore how religious trauma continues to shape queer and trans lives long after leaving faith communities. From purity culture and internalized shame to the ways stigma around mental health keeps people stuck, Kit unpacks how belief systems can quietly influence identity, relationships, and self-worth in ways many people don’t even realize. They dive into the difference between conflict and abuse in religious families, how “Midwest nice” can mask deeper harm, and why so many people struggle to name their experiences as trauma. The conversation also examines how these early messages show up in dating, attraction, and desire, along with what therapists and allies often get wrong when supporting queer and trans clients. If you’ve ever felt like you left religion but it didn’t fully leave you, this episode offers language, insight, and a path toward understanding what’s still lingering beneath the surface. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Kit: Kit Morgan is a queer and trans religious trauma informed educator, licensed clinical social worker, and therapist, working with clients in New York, Virginia, and Indiana. Kit’s work began with advocacy and research for people at high risk of incarceration. From Kit’s background of growing up in the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist and Southern Baptist denominations during his girlhood years, Kit noticed how institutionalization, including the institution of religion, impacts the way people relate to their gender and sexuality. This inspired Kit to study Christian Counseling, the science of psychology, and social work in their time at university. Kit focuses their work on liberation from shame induced by institutionalization impacting people’s relationship to their queerness. Connect with Kit: Website: www.theliberatedporch.com [http://www.theliberatedporch.com] TikTok: @theliberatedporch Instagram: @theliberatedporch Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]

What Nobody Tells You About Gay Dating with a Disability | Interview with Andrew Gurza

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Gurza (they/he), an award-winning disability awareness consultant, author, and podcast host of Disability After Dark. What happens when desire, disability, and queer identity intersect? In this conversation, Andrew shares an unfiltered look at dating, intimacy, and ableism in the gay community. Together, they explore why so many queer men struggle with connection, how bias shapes attraction, and what it really takes to build intimacy beyond surface-level desire. This episode is an invitation to examine our assumptions, expand our understanding of sexuality, and rethink what it means to feel wanted, seen, and connected. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Andrew: Andrew Gurza is an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant and author of the book, Notes From a Queer Cripple: How to Cultivate Queer Disabled Joy (and be hot while doing it!) Andrew uses they/he pronouns and identifies proudly as severely disabled. He was the subject of an award winning National Film Board of Canada Documentary “Picture This”. Andrew has guested on a number of podcasts including Dan Savage’s Savage Love. They have spoken all over the world on sex, disability and what it means to be a Queer Cripple. They were also a Production Consultant and Actor on the Queer As Folk reboot in 2022. He is also the host of Disability After Dark: The Podcast Shining a Bright Light on Disability Stories which won a Canadian Podcast Award in 2021, was a Queerty Award nominee, and was chosen as an Honoree at the 2020 Webby Awards. The show is available on all platforms. Andrew is also the creator of the viral hashtag #DisabledPeopleAreHot. You can find out more about Andrew and hire them by going to andrewgurza.ca [http://andrewgurza.ca] Connect with Andrew: Website: www.andrewgurza.ca [http://www.andrewgurza.ca] Book: Notes From A Queer Cripple: How to Cultivate Queer Disabled Joy (and Be Hot While Doing It!)Podcast: Disability After DarkInstagram: @andrewgurzaConnect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]

Why the Mother-Son Relationship is Different for Gay Men | Interview with Rick Miller

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Rick Miller (he/him), a pioneering psychotherapist, author and film maker with over 40 years of experience working with gay men and couples. They explore why the relationship between gay sons and their mothers is often uniquely close, the historical harm caused by blaming mothers for their sons’ sexuality, and what Rick’s research and documentary Mom, I Have Something to Tell You reveal about love, protection, and resilience. The conversation expands into modern gay relationships - why communication around sex, money, and intimacy is so difficult, how shame still shapes gay men’s inner worlds, and what it actually takes to build trust and connection. Rick also shares how his work with hypnosis and mindfulness helps clients reconnect to their strengths, and why therapists need to lead with presence and belief in their clients rather than focusing only on pathology. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Rick: Rick is a clinical social worker in private practice in Boston and on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. He has served nationally and internationally on faculties at a number of universities and conferences, including the faculty at Harvard Medical School, Department of Psychiatry, Yale Hospital and Health Systems Keynote Speaker for Diversity and Inclusion, Simmons University School of Social Work and faculty member for Esther Perel’s Sessions programs. He was awarded the 2018 National Association of Social Workers’ Greatest Contribution to Social Work Practice award in recognition of his unique contribution to the body of knowledge that has never previously been studied or published in professional literature. Most recently, Rick was a speaker at TEDx Provincetown: Hyperlocal, sharing his experiences with Gay Sons and Mothers through his talk, The Mother Factor: Acceptance Works Both Ways. He has established trainings for MH professionals that facilitate knowledgeable interventions which allow LGBTQ+ populations to feel understood and affirmed, and developed mindfulness techniques specific to gay men which has never been done by anybody else. Connect with Rick: Websites: gaysonsandmothers.org [http://gaysonsandmothers.org] and rickmiller.biz [http://rickmiller.biz] Book: https://a.co/d/01UvVtXs [https://a.co/d/01UvVtXs] Podcast: Modern Couples: What Your Therapist Never Told You Instagram: @gaysonsandmothers, @rickmillerlicsw TikTok: @Gaysonsandmothers Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]