The Jordan Harbinger Show

1295: Nir Eyal | Why Your Beliefs Matter More Than Your Willpower

Beyond Belief [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593852036/?tag=jordanharbing-20] author Nir Eyal returns to break down why belief — not motivation — is the missing piece behind every goal you've abandoned too early. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1295 [https://jordanharbinger.com/1295] What We Discuss with Nir Eyal: * The number one reason people fail to reach their goals isn't a lack of knowledge or resources — it's that they quit. Motivation isn't a straight line from behavior to benefit; it's a triangle that includes belief. Without belief in both the process and the payoff, perseverance crumbles. * Limiting beliefs are invisible cages we mistake for facts. Phrases like "I don't have time," "I'm too old," or "someone like me can't do this" feel like objective truths, but they're actually tools that sap motivation and increase suffering — and most people never stop to examine them. * Venting feels productive but actually reinforces the distorted mental image you've built of someone. Instead, Nir uses a "turnaround" technique — asking if the opposite of your grievance could also be true — to collect a portfolio of perspectives and reduce suffering. * Visualizing dream outcomes doesn't motivate you — it physiologically relaxes you into inaction. Research shows people who "manifest" goals actually achieve less. What works is mental contrasting: rehearsing how you'll handle the inevitable obstacles and discomfort. * Your beliefs are tools, not truths — and you can swap them out like a carpenter reaching for the right instrument. Start examining one belief that's been holding you back, test it with honest questions, and try on a more liberating perspective for a week. Growth is possible at any age! * And much more... And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here [https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1] — even one sentence helps! * Sign up for Six-Minute Networking [https://jordanharbinger.com/course] — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course [https://jordanharbinger.com/course]! * Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/] newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! * Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger [https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/]! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/]: * BetterHelp: 10% off first month: betterhelp.com/jordan [https://www.betterhelp.com/jordan] * Bombas: Go to bombas.com/jordan to get 20% off your first order [https://bombas.com/jordan] * Progressive Insurance: Free online quote: progressive.com [https://www.progressive.com/] * The Perfect Jean: 15% off first order: theperfectjean.nyc, code JORDAN15 [https://theperfectjean.nyc/] * Zocdoc: Find and book a doctor you love today: zocdoc.com/jordan [https://www.zocdoc.com/jordan] * Land Rover Defender: landroverusa.com [https://www.landroverusa.com/] * The President's Daily Brief: Listen here [https://www.thefirsttv.com/pdb/] or wherever you find fine podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

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1294: Sister’s off Her Meds, Now She Faces the Feds | Feedback Friday

Your sister went off her meds, fled cops, got in a bar fight, and assaulted an officer. Now she faces felonies and won't let you help. It's Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger [https://twitter.com/JordanHarbinger]) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi [https://twitter.com/GabeMizrahi]) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com [friday@jordanharbinger.com]. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1294 [https://jordanharbinger.com/1294] On This Week's Feedback Friday: * Your sister with schizoaffective disorder went off her meds, quit her job, led cops on a chase, started a bar fight, and injured an officer — and now she's facing felony charges while refusing your help and rejecting her own public defender. How do you save someone who won't be saved? * You're pretty sure your wife's business partners are hiding financials, breaching the partnership agreement, and planning to retire while still collecting profits she earns — but she's terrified of "being mean." How do you help her find her backbone before they bleed her dry? * Your selfless 69-year-old mom is being run ragged by your sister-in-law's marathon visits — nine-hour affairs with free meals, free babysitting, and zero cleanup — and she's too kind to say a word. She even quit her fitness class. How do you protect a woman who won't protect herself? * Recommendation of the Week: Gabe recommends keeping a quick daily travel log in your phone's notes app and pinning your favorite spots on a custom Google Maps list so you can relive your trips more vividly — and share killer recs with friends headed to the same destinations. * Your six-year-old son had a helmet-throwing meltdown at Little League, and now three families — including an assistant coach — have requested he not be on their team. You practiced an apology that never happened, and Opening Day is coming. How do you handle the awkward reunion? * Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com [friday@jordanharbinger.com]! * Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger [https://twitter.com/JordanHarbinger] and Instagram at @jordanharbinger [https://www.instagram.com/jordanharbinger]. * Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi [https://twitter.com/GabeMizrahi] and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi [https://www.instagram.com/gabrielmizrahi/]. And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here [https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1] — even one sentence helps! * Sign up for Six-Minute Networking [https://jordanharbinger.com/course] — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course [https://jordanharbinger.com/course]! * Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/] newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! * Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger [https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/]! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/]: * Mint Mobile: Shop plans at mintmobile.com/jhs [https://www.mintmobile.com/jhs] * Audible: Visit audible.com/jhs or text JHS to 500-500 [https://audible.com/jhs] * Quiltmind: Email jordanaudience@quiltmind.com to get started or visit quiltmind.com for more info [https://www.quiltmind.com/] * The President's Daily Brief: Listen here [https://www.thefirsttv.com/pdb/] or wherever you find fine podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

1293: Abigail Marsh | How Fear Separates Saints from Psychopaths Part 2

Psychopathy is treatable, altruism is contagious, and 'sociopath' is a word we should probably retire. Abigail Marsh makes the case here on part 2 of 2. [Find part 1 here [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/abigail-marsh-how-fear-separates-saints-from-psychopaths-part-1/]!] Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1293 [https://jordanharbinger.com/1293] What We Discuss with Dr. Abigail Marsh: * Psychopathy isn't the life sentence people assume it is. Personality disorders like psychopathy and borderline are far more treatable than the popular narrative suggests, and many people with psychopathic traits actively want to change, recognizing their behavior patterns aren't working for them. * Most of the world's worst atrocities aren't committed by psychopaths — they're committed by groups of ordinary people who believe they're completely justified. The real danger isn't the remorseless loner; it's collective moral certainty that one side's aggression is righteous. * Fear is the secret bridge between altruism and psychopathy. Psychopaths don't process fear — their own or others' — while extreme altruists are hypersensitive to it. Same brain structure, different tuning, and that gap determines who rushes toward danger and who shrugs. * Our brains are survival machines, not accuracy machines — and negativity bias warps our view of humanity. Bad behavior is actually rare, but we encode it in high fidelity, leading us to wildly overestimate how selfish and dangerous other people really are. * Altruism creates ripple effects that reshape lives in ways you'd never predict. One kind response to a stranger — even an online troll — can shift someone's entire outlook. Well-being fuels generosity, and generosity fuels well-being, so start the cycle anywhere and watch it compound. * And much more... [This is part two of a two-part episode. Find part one here [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/abigail-marsh-how-fear-separates-saints-from-psychopaths-part-1/]!] And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here [https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1] — even one sentence helps! * Sign up for Six-Minute Networking [https://jordanharbinger.com/course] — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course [https://jordanharbinger.com/course]! * Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/] newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! * Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger [https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/]! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/]: * Article: Visit article.com/jordan for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more [https://article.com/jordan] * HomeServe: Find the plan that's right for you: homeserve.com [https://www.homeserve.com/] * NordVPN: Exclusive deal: nordvpn.com/jordanharbinger [https://nordvpn.com/jordanharbinger/] * DripDrop: 20% off: DripDrop.com, code JORDAN [https://dripdrop.com/] * The President's Daily Brief: Listen here [https://www.thefirsttv.com/pdb/] or wherever you find fine podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

1292: Abigail Marsh | How Fear Separates Saints from Psychopaths Part 1

What separates someone who'd donate a kidney to a stranger from someone who might steal one? Abigail Marsh explains the neuroscience of fear on part 1 of 2. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1292 [https://jordanharbinger.com/1292] What We Discuss with Dr. Abigail Marsh: * Psychopaths don't lack all emotion — they specifically lack the ability to recognize and feel fear. Where most people see terror on someone's face, a psychopath sees something unidentifiable — a deficit that fundamentally rewires how they relate to other humans. * Many of psychology's most famous studies — the Stanford Prison Experiment, the Milgram shock test, the Kitty Genovese bystander story — turned out to be deeply flawed or outright fabricated. Humans are actually far more compassionate than these narratives suggest; CCTV data shows bystanders intervene 90% of the time. * Psychopathy isn't caused by "bad parenting" in any simple way — it's a neurodevelopmental disorder with significant genetic heritability, much like autism or ADHD. Blaming parents echoes the same harmful logic that once attributed schizophrenia to "cold mothers." * Household chaos — literal noise, inconsistent rules, revolving caregivers — makes it significantly harder for children to learn behavioral patterns. It's not just abuse that derails development; it's the inability to pick out a reliable signal from an overwhelming amount of environmental noise. * The sweet spot of effective parenting — and really, of shaping better humans — is combining genuine warmth with consistent boundaries. Love without structure breeds entitlement; structure without love breeds resentment. But together, they build the foundation for compassion and resilience in any child. * And much more... [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!] And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here [https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1] — even one sentence helps! * Sign up for Six-Minute Networking [https://jordanharbinger.com/course] — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course [https://jordanharbinger.com/course]! * Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/] newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! * Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger [https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/]! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors [https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/]: * BetterHelp: 10% off first month: betterhelp.com/jordan [https://www.betterhelp.com/jordan] * ButcherBox: Free protein for a year + $20 off first box: butcherbox.com/jordan [https://butcherbox.com/jordan/] * DeleteMe: 20% off: joindeleteme.com/jordan, code JORDAN [https://joindeleteme.com/jordan] * Wayfair: Start renovating: wayfair.com [https://www.wayfair.com/] * Progressive Insurance: Free online quote: progressive.com [https://www.progressive.com/] * The President's Daily Brief: Listen here [https://www.thefirsttv.com/pdb/] or wherever you find fine podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].