The Morning Bleezy

THE CANADIAN CORNBALL STRIKES AGAIN

GOOOOOOOOD MONDAY MORNING COMMUTERS! We Regret to Inform You That The Boy Remains At Large And On The Cob…episode 9 contains not only our unbiased ICEMAN review, but an unsolicited GEICO ad (Jake is sooooo pleased with his savings), and the inception of the BBC™️📚 READ A BOOK HOE! Let us know @themorningbleezy what books you’re reading, and if you want to dial in to a future episode to chit chat about your fuckass commute!!! 0:00 - They Were Jelloing Everything In The 50s 1:57 - The First Double Entendre Of The Episode 2:44 - We Could’ve Fuckin Died (Climate Crisis Averted For At Least A Week) 3:14 - 43 Songs That Could’ve Been An Email 7:24 - STOP TALKING ABOUT 2024!!!!!!!!!!! 9:00 - I’m Sure There’s A Summer Bop In There Somewhere 11:12 - Drake Paid Off SportsCenter And It’s Obvious And Sad 12:32 - Nia Breaks Down The NBA Playoffs Correctly On The First Try 18:18 - Switch To GEICO And Save THOUSANDS (Geico Please Sponsor Us) 21:43 - Get Insurance Or You Will Become Property Of The State 22:51 - THE BLEEZY BOOK CLUB THE MORNING BLEEZY is a pod we rolled up just for your commute to that wack ass job you don’t wanna go to! News for NETIZENS & NEW YORKERS alike! Follow us at @themorningbleezy and themorningbleezy.com [https://themorningbleezy.com/] <3 hosted by Nia Barrow & Jake Jurich edited by Jake Jurich 2026 arcola studios, llc

THE MORNING [REDACTED]

Beware the Ides of May…unless it’s warm that day then we’re fine. Carry on. Just because you CAN (soon) get in a UBERCOPTER to JFK doesn’t mean you SHOULD….unless you’re super duper duper duper duper fucked up. The Knicks are doing well, Kash Patel is not, these false flag B-sides are getting lazier by the day, and Jake & Nia scream at each other like you’ve never heard before over a GAME on his PHONE🃏 0:00 - BIG COFFEE SAID YOU WILL NEVER OWN PROPERTY 4:59 - In Space No One Can Hear You Podcast 5:48 - Mayday vs. May Day vs. May Day 7:51 - Dire Climate Message From A Great Shaman (Woman) 9:36 - Train 2 Da Plane 11:21 - THE UBERCOPTER 15:01 - Nia Once Again Correctly Predicts The Future (Knicks Playoffs Discussion) 17:10 - A [REDACTED] Tried To [REDACTED] The [REDACTED] With A [REDACTED]…Again 19:24 - Solitaire Is Demonic vs. What The Fuck Are You Talking About THE MORNING BLEEZY is a pod we rolled up just for your commute to that wack ass job you don’t wanna go to! News for NETIZENS & NEW YORKERS alike! Follow us at @themorningbleezy and themorningbleezy.com [https://themorningbleezy.com/] <3 hosted by Nia Barrow & Jake Jurich edited by Jake Jurich 2026 arcola studios, llc

POPE LEO FAITHMOGGS JD VANCE

SAME SHIT DIFFERENT TOILET: The Bleezy is back in Brooklyn & better than ever!!! In this 4/20 episode that has very little to do with 4/20, Jake & Nia discuss Ubering for coochie in NYC, a most unusual murder, SPACE, and the week’s latest blasphemy from our pedophile in chief. WATCH THIS EPISODE WITH YOUR EYES AT THEMORNINGBLEEZY.COM [http://THEMORNINGBLEEZY.COM]!!!! 0:00 - High School Musical: The Sharpay Edition 0:53 - Nia Can Vape On Our Set Now! 3:22 - War Exists In The Context Of All That Came Before It 5:16 - Not Every Day You Gotta Smoke 8:49 - Put On A Sweater Bitch (Fool’s Summer) 9:40 - Ebike To Your Date At The Nathan’s Hot Dog Stand 14:48 - The Cornhole Killer & His Car 20:15 - Anybody Can Do Anything To You At Any Time 22:09 - For Carroll <3 31:36 - The Duality Of Man (A Civilization Will Die Tonight) 33:10 - Beefin With The Pope 36:39 - I Thought I Was A Doctor Surrounded By Angels Laying Hands Upon The Sick 38:57 - JD Vance Is A Fat Ugly Chud 39:16 - THE POPE IS WEAK ON CRIME 41:47 - Get Your News From Only Us Then Touch Grass (Love You!) THE MORNING BLEEZY is a pod we rolled up just for your commute to that wack ass job you don’t wanna go to! News for NETIZENS & NEW YORKERS alike! Follow us at @themorningbleezy and themorningbleezy.com [https://themorningbleezy.com] <3 hosted by Nia Barrow & Jake Jurich edited by Jake Jurich 2026 arcola studios, llc

MONITORING THE SITUATION

Is it just me or does someone in this episode sound BALDER than usual? Dive on in to figure out who...we can't do it for you because we're too busy MONITORING several SITUATIONS including Kanye, Women's Hockey, the Artemis II launch, IRAN, and the newfound civil service of an American institution, TMZ. 0:00 - If You Talk About Kanye Then He Wins 0:54 - Your Warmest Commute Of The Year (So Far) 2:07 - New Poop  /  Fool's Spring 3:55 - Gas Is About To Cost One Billion Dollars A Gallon Forever 6:27 - They're Sayin It's The Fent Capital 7:27 - Quick Heroin Story 9:01 - WEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO (Women's Hockey Hits MSG) 13:10 - Is It Even Possible To Get Into Hockey If Not Via Heated Rivalry? 16:05 - SOMEONE IS BALD and THAT'S WHY WE MISSED LAST EPISODE 20:09 - Government Mandated Merch Plug Moment 21:17 - We're Flying By The Moon Did Yall Want Anything? 26:22 - When He Speaks It's Damn Near Incoherent (Leader Of The Free World) 27:22 - Everything We're Doing Is A Fuckin War Crime! 28:42 - THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A DAY OF RESPITE YOU STUPID WHORE 29:44 - It's Giving WW3 32:23 - We're Just Shooting Ourselves In The Dick For Israel 34:45 - Kristi Noem's Husband's Mommy Milkers 36:02 - We Gotta Lock In Bro 37:56 - We Have Healthcare At Home (& It's Just The "Doomsday Plane") 39:42 - UP RIGHT NOW: Countries Whose Plans Are Measured In Centuries 40:31 - TMZ Fixed The TSA Fuckery So That's Where We're At Now 41:59 - Go To Work! ...Until It's Time To Not Go To Work THE MORNING BLEEZY is a pod we rolled up just for your commute to that wack ass job you don’t wanna go to! News for NETIZENS & NEW YORKERS alike! Follow us at @themorningbleezy and themorningbleezy.com <3 hosted by Nia Barrow & Jake Jurich edited by Jake Jurich 2026 arcola studios, llc

YOU WHORED YOURSELF OUT TO THE PRESIDENT FOR McDONALDS!

In this week's MORNING BLEEZY we discuss the nuances of de-blizzarding the streets of NYC for like the third or fourth time, as well as the shit with the US men's hockey team for this one and only time. We'll be back in 3 weeks buuuut in the meantime BUY OUR BEANIES @ https://arcola.tv/shopeezy 0:00 - The Truest MORNING Bleezy Ever 1:20 - Shilling Our Beanies (Which Are New And Amazing) 3:13 - Fuck You If You Listen To TikToks Out Loud On Public Transit 5:13 - Groundhog Day Is Animal Divination So Go To Hell 6:47 - Zohran Did Better At Snow 2 9:00 - Nia Notices Jake Has Had Food On His Tooth This Whole Time 9:33 - Traumatizing Snow Story (A Dirty Gut Is A Healthy Gut) 12:45 - Schrödinger's Coat 13:26 - I Don't Have Much To Say About That Other Than War Is Fucking Stupid 15:20 - Impromptu Birth Rate Discussion 18:24 - Sports Can Heal A Nation But Also Can Be Some Bullshit 19:52 - Hockey Is A Women's Sport 21:45 - Jack Hughes Pulls A Megan Keller 22:31 - Locker Room Talk 23:40 - Kash Patel Has Make A Wish Kid Energy 25:50 - Like, I Go To Like, TEN Devils Games A Season 26:27 - White House McDonald's Humiliation Ritual 27:38 - Trump Was Up At The Podium Just Sucking His Own Dick 28:16 - You Can't Say No To Nothing? 29:00 - Heated Rivalry Lmaooo 30:46 - The Revolution Will Not Be On Center Ice 33:56 - Jake Unloads The Clip 35:48 - Muhammad Ali Was Getting Punched In The Face; You Dribbling A Ball 37:49 - Spearheading The Bronx Renaissance 39:30 - You're Probably At Your Job Now! THE MORNING BLEEZY is a pod we rolled up just for your commute to that wack ass job you don’t wanna go to! News for NETIZENS & NEW YORKERS alike! Follow us at @themorningbleezy and themorningbleezy.com <3 hosted by Nia Barrow & Jake Jurich edited by Jake Jurich 2026 arcola studios, llc