EP 42  – How to Choose a Career You Won't Regret (Before You're Locked In)

EP 42  – How to Choose a Career You Won't Regret (Before You're Locked In)

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why being competent at something doesn't mean it's the right fit for you * What occupational regret actually is — and the early signs you might be heading toward it * How to identify your career anchor using Schein's framework (the four most relevant to your 20s) * Why your major is a signal, not a sentence — and what actually determines career trajectory * How to test alignment before you're committed, without quitting everything first * Why changing direction isn't failure — and what the sunk cost fallacy is costing you  💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Occupational regret doesn't come from choosing wrong — it comes from choosing without knowing yourself first. Now you do." TIMESTAMPS 00:00  Why being competent at something doesn't mean it's meant for you 00:23 Welcome back + what this episode is about 01:16 Social pressure, major choices, and occupational regret 02:27 How misalignment compounds into burnout over time 03:35 Personal example: competent but completely drained 04:30 Why energy matters more than skill alone 06:15 Bridge from EP 22: personal branding as identity work 06:29 What brand positioning actually means for your career 07:51 Clarity over likability — how to stop trying to be everything to everyone 08:58 Defining occupational regret — it's not just wishing things were different 09:42 The Sunday dread, the flatness, the early signs 10:48 Why we make career decisions for the wrong reasons 11:42 Introduction to Schein's career anchors 12:21 Anchor 1: Technical / Functional — the expert who hates being managed 12:54 Anchor 2: Autonomy / Independence — not laziness, incompatibility 13:46 Anchor 3: Entrepreneurial Creativity — the multi-hyphenate who can't commit 14:10 Anchor 4: Service / Cause — meaningful field, wrong vehicle 15:48 Flow (Csikszentmihalyi) — your anchor is where flow lives 16:11 Test before you commit — small experiments over big bets 16:58 Personal example: working alone vs. needing connection 17:59 Why it's okay to pivot at any age 19:20 Shadowing, energy audits, and talking to people 5–10 years in 19:45 Sunk cost fallacy and loss aversion (Kahneman) 21:17 Money, survival, and how to make careful decisions about change 22:04 Don't let your excuses become the reason you stay stuck 22:24 What alignment actually feels like — lighter, more confident 23:12 Changing direction isn't failure. It's evidence you're paying attention. 23:20 Final takeaway: regret starts with not knowing yourself first 23:42 11-day challenge: identify your anchor, track your energy 24:47 Clarity Round — rapid fire 26:48 Who am I clearly becoming? 27:40 Final encouragement and sign-off RESOURCES * Exploring roots occupational regret [https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/exploring-roots-occupational-regret]  * A career with a heart: exploring occupational regret [https://scispace.com/pdf/a-career-with-a-heart-exploring-occupational-regret-q7691gzmx4.pdf] * 8 Tips for pulling off a career change from a best selling author [https://www.linkedin.com/posts/the-wall-street-journal_before-she-was-a-bestselling-romance-novelist-activity-7458302551436775425-IAHp/]  RELEVANT EPISODES * EP 22 – Personal Branding: How to Know Who You Are and Show Up That Way [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRbsJCHmZsE&t=5s] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming [youtube.com/@clearlybecoming] Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode

EP. 41 – You're Already Being Influenced. Here's How to Use It.

You think you're making your own decisions. You're not — at least not entirely. Influence is happening all around us, all the time. In the campaigns you scroll past. In the defaults you never question. In the room you walk into and the way you introduce yourself. And if you're not aware of it, you're being shaped by it without even knowing. This week, I'm joined by Dr. Gillian Brooks, Associate Professor of Marketing at King's Business School, Director of the Executive MBA programme, and one of the leading researchers on influence, social media, and persuasion. She also happened to be my professor this semester.  We talked about what influence actually is, the ethics of it, how to use it intentionally in your career, and why being ambitious and confused doesn't mean you're behind — it means you're paying attention.  IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why influence isn't just for charismatic people and how it's already shaping your decisions without you realising it * What the Obama campaign can teach you about building credibility and community from scratch * Where the line is between strategic influence and manipulation (and why it matters for your career) * What "celebrity capital" actually is and how to build yours even if you have zero followers * Why "just be yourself" is incomplete advice and what authentic influence actually looks like * How to advocate for yourself in salary negotiations using data, confidence, and timing * What AI is changing about influence, and how to protect yourself from it 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE –  "You're not outside of influence. You're already inside it. The only question is whether you're doing it on purpose." — Dr. Gillian Brooks TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Introduction: You're already being influenced  00:37 — Why charisma has nothing to do with it  01:32 — Gillian's career arc and what she learned from every pivot  02:58 — From publicist in Toronto to PhD at Cambridge  05:31 — Inside the Obama campaign: influence at scale  09:10 — The mere exposure effect and the power of consistency  10:45 — Influence vs. manipulation: where's the line?  11:24 — Cambridge Analytica: data, targeting, and non-consensual nudging  14:21 — Celebrity capital explained: social, cultural, symbolic  17:23 — How social media changed the rules of influence  19:54 — Building expertise early in your career  21:57 — Navigating choice overload  26:11 — Gender and negotiation  27:03 — How to negotiate your salary with data and confidence  30:49 — AI, deepfakes, and media literacy  42:01 — Who are you clearly becoming? RESOURCES * Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion — Robert Cialdini [https://dn710600.ca.archive.org/0/items/ThePsychologyOfPersuasion/The%20Psychology%20of%20Persuasion.pdf] * The Power of Who Gets Heard and Why — Deborah Tannen [https://hbr.org/1995/09/the-power-of-talk-who-gets-heard-and-why] * Cambridge Analytica — BBC Documentary [https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-49085306] * Dr. Gillian Brooks — King's Business School: https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/gillian-brooks [https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/gillian-brooks] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming Guest Episode: ft. Dr. Gillian Brooks

EP 40 – Reframing Luck: How Hard Work and Mindset Shape Success

EP. 40 – Reframing Luck: How Hard Work and Mindset Shape Success  Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode have you ever looked at someone else's success and thought… wow, they just got lucky? what if luck is not something that happens to you — but something you actually build? in this episode, i am getting into the psychology behind luck, success, and why the most 'fortunate' people aren't just stumbling into opportunity — they are creating the conditions for it. this is for every ambitious, confused twenty-something who has ever felt like success is happening for everyone except them. spoiler: it is not about luck. it is about locus. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * why your perception of luck is shaping the opportunities you notice — or miss * the psychology of internal vs external locus of control and why it changes everything * how self-efficacy and resilience are the quiet engines behind every 'lucky break' * how to recognise opportunities you are currently walking straight past * why preparation × opportunity = luck (and what that actually means for your career) 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Luck favours the prepared mind." — Louis Pasteurif that isn't your era, i don't know what is. TIMESTAMPS 00:00  Luck vs. Hard Work: The Great Debate 04:00  Understanding Locus of Control 10:49  The Role of Perspective in Luck 14:43  Building Your Internal Locus of Control 18:40  Redefining Luck: Preparation Meets Opportunity RESOURCES * Locus of Control (Julian Rotter, 1966) – Social learning theory * Three Biases That Hold Us Back From Having More Serendipity [https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/three-biases-hold-us-back-from-having-more-how-overcome-busch/]  * Fundamental [https://robertglazer.substack.com/p/fundamental-attribution-error-leadership] Attribution Error  RELEVANT EPISODES * Ep 29 - How to become before you believe it  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAdaxXFWuNI&t=27s] * EP 16 — How Believing in yourself unlocks new opportunities  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge-D3Py1Fh0] This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 39 – When Getting There Feels Wrong: Navigating the Emotional Cycle of Transition

You hit the goal. You made the move. You got the thing — and then the overwhelm hit harder than the excitement.  If that's where you are right now, this episode is your map.In this episode, Hazel Ann breaks down the emotional cycle of change: a five-stage framework that explains why ambition and anxiety aren't opposites — and why feeling like you're falling apart might actually mean you're right on track.  This isn't about pushing through. It's about knowing where you are so you can move with intention, not fear. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: *  Why achieving your goal can trigger self-doubt, overwhelm, and imposter phenomenon — and why that's neurologically normal * The five stages of the emotional cycle of change: from uninformed optimism to the valley of despair to earned confidence * How to recognise which stage you're in right now — and what to do instead of spiral * The neuroscience of stress (the HPA axis, cortisol, and your negativity bias) explained without the jargon * How to use micro-wins, sensory grounding, and effort-focused reframes to rebuild momentum * Why detaching from outcomes isn't giving up — it's how you keep going 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Feeling like you're falling apart might mean you're right where growth lives. The valley of despair isn't failure — it's the stage before informed optimism. You're not behind. You're in it." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Why success can trigger overwhelm 00:36 – Introducing the emotional cycle of change 02:08 – Personal transition stories: job search, moving, studying abroad 04:15 – Stage 1: Uninformed optimism 05:27 – Stage 2: Informed pessimism — when reality sets in 07:47 – Stage 3: The valley of despair — what it looks like and why it's normal 09:19 – Strategies for pushing through the valley 13:05 – The neuroscience of stress: cortisol, HPA axis & negativity bias 15:01 – Practical tools: breathing, grounding, micro-wins 17:10 – Reframing goals and fixing focus on effort, not outcomes 20:10 – Consistent action and controlling what you can 24:00 – Becoming someone who moves forward without all the answers 26:07 – How to identify your current stage and what to do next RESOURCES * The Neuroscience of Stress & Cortisol  [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5954619] * Abramson's Hopelessness Theory * Micro-Wins Strategy (Seth Godin) RELEVANT EPISODES * EP 31: You Don't Rise to Your Goals. You Fall to Your Systems  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rykIgkvcj-s] * EP 32:  How to Become Before You Believe It [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAdaxXFWuNI&t=19s]  This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN * Instagram: @clearlybecoming * TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ * YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 38 - Consistency Creates Clarity

You've been told to get clear, then get consistent. But what if it works the other way around? This week, Erica Somer — marketer, co-founder of HOM, photographer, DJ, and aspiring author — joins Hazel Ann to unpack what it actually means to build momentum before you have a destination. If you're sitting on six passions and zero direction, this one's for you. Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode ft. Erica Somer IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: * Why waiting to "get clear" before starting is the trap keeping you stuck * How consistency works as a mirror — not a goal — and what it reveals about who you're becoming * What friction-maxxing is and why making things harder on purpose actually accelerates identity change * The neuroscience behind identity encoding — why "I am someone who shows up" rewires your brain differently than "I'm trying to" * How to embrace being multihyphenate without feeling like you're betraying any one part of yourself * The embarrassingly small first step for anyone with multiple interests and no clear path QUOTE OF THE EPISODE * "It's not that deep." – Erica Somer TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction — the contradiction at the heart of this episode04:55 Vancouver → Paris → London: what she was chasing and did she find it?09:16 Defining the multihyphenate and building HOM from a dinner party14:15 Consistency as a mirror, not a goal26:14 The best habit she ever built — and how it actually stuck31:11 Friction-maxxing: when ease is the enemy35:56 Identity encoding and the 800-day Duolingo domino effect40:54 For the person with six interests and zero direction48:50 What she's being consistent about with no clear payoff yet50:45 The 11-day challenge + clarity round RESOURCES * Atomic Habits by James Clear — https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Bep-Change/dp/0735211299 [https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Bep-Change/dp/0735211299] * The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X] * Range by David Epstein — https://www.amazon.com/Range-Why-Generalists-Win-Science/dp/0735214484 [https://www.amazon.com/Range-Why-Generalists-Win-Science/dp/0735214484] * What Is Identity Encoding and Why It Works Where Affirmations Don't — [link [https://www.encoded.ai/blog/what-is-identity-encoding]] * Role Models, Motivation and Inspiration — https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-us [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-us] CONNECT WITH ERICA SOMER Instagram: @erica_somer [https://www.instagram.com/erica_somer/#] HOM: @wearehouseofmarketing [https://www.instagram.com/wearehouseofmarketing/]  Substack: @erierierieri This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the word that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming