Abuse Isn't What You Think

On Expectations

In this episode, your host, Jackie, gets real about how her expectations have been holding her back, including why she hasn't been releasing episodes lately. What expectations have been holding you back? If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the US for help [https://www.thehotline.org/] If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the UK for help [https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/] If you’re interested in working with Jackie or booking her to speak at your event, conference, school or company, click here to schedule a quick Connect Call via Calendly [https://calendly.com/jackiegraybill/connection-call] For more information about your host, Jackie, copy and paste this link into your browser to check out her milkshake (Linktree alternative ;): msha.ke/jackiegraybill

Is Financial Abuse a Thing?

In this episode, your host, Jackie, explains financial abuse and leads you through a powerful Tapping session. Have you experienced financial abuse?  If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the US for help [https://www.thehotline.org/] If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the UK for help [https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/] EFT Tapping Meditation time stamps: Tapping explanation: 29:03 Tapping: 32:07-48:23 COOL QUOTE IN THE EPISODE: “I realized that I deserve more than those breadcrumbs. I deserve more than the leftovers.” - Jackie If you’re interested in working with Jackie or booking her to speak at your event, conference, school or company, click here to schedule a quick Connect Call via Calendly [https://calendly.com/jackiegraybill/connection-call] For more information about your host, Jackie, copy and paste this link into your browser to check out her milkshake (Linktree alternative ;): msha.ke/jackiegraybill RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE EPISODE: Information What is Coercive Control? [https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/] Guide to Gaslighting [https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/a-guide-to-gaslighting] It takes 7 times, on average, to leave an abusive relationship for good [https://safespaceworkplace.com/2017/03/15/take-seven-times-leave-abusive-relationship/] How to find a local Domestic Violence Shelter in the US [https://www.domesticshelters.org/help#?page=1] How to find a local Domestic Violence Shelter in the UK [https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-directory/] National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US [https://www.thehotline.org/] Refuge in the UK [https://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/?gclid=CjwKCAjwwdWVBhA4EiwAjcYJELu-TZKiavnViKALzFC5GrrC8gsspeVt8HqUhsbl1qoSKOF40zANZRoCE0MQAvD_BwE] What is The Great Resignation? [https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/11/what-is-the-great-resignation-and-what-can-we-learn-from-it/] The Great Resignation = more jobs available [https://www.reed.co.uk/career-advice/the-great-resignation-and-what-it-means-for-your-career/] Merida from Brave [https://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/movies/pixars-brave-how-the-character-merida-was-developed.html] Yelena Belova from Hawkeye and Black Widow [https://www.sideshow.com/blog/yelena-belova-marvel] Books Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive by Stephanie Land [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B07GDPGN96&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_81B3EBTHC66PEC724ZRC&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B07N4DLLGS&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_6E9KKBA7E8EM2ZHPVM5W&tag=jackiegraybil-21] YouTube Vids Allstate: Purple Purse Video: Financial abuse is found in 98% of all cases of abuse [https://youtu.be/xhXzvJDtjKk] Elise McDowell (from House of Brazen) on Set Point [https://youtu.be/dEFuPURbv08] The Huntress archetype [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU4GpQ6u8Gg] TV Shows Maid (Netflix) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11337908/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk] Hawkeye (Disney+) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10160804/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk] Movies Black Widow (Disney+) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3480822/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk] Brave (Disney+) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk] Cool Products Mug: Be the CEO, Your Parents Always Wanted You to Marry [https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/564038820/be-the-ceo-your-parents-always-wanted] Social Media Peach Anjelica's TikTok Channel [https://www.tiktok.com/@peachanjelica?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] *Books listed above may contain an affiliate link. There is no additional cost to you and I only endorse things I truly believe in.

How Can I Release My Fears?

In Jackie’s interview with Lynda Sunshine West, you’ll learn how running away as a five-year-old (to get away from an abusive father) and being gone for a week led to the belief that nobody loved her, which shaped her into a people pleaser who was ruled by fear, and how she overcame it. Inside the Episode:  *Find out what Lynda says was “the greatest gift I've ever given to myself.” *Lynda believes that no matter our age, we can change our belief systems, even if they are “locked in tight.” Find out how she changed hers. *Learn Lynda’s Powerful Forgiveness Exercise! *Find out how to tell the difference between fear that’s stopping you and your intuition that’s warning you. *Find out why Lynda calls the popular acronym for fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) stupid, and the powerfully effective acronym she replaced it with. If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the US for help [https://www.thehotline.org/] If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the UK for help [https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/] GUEST BIO AND COOL QUOTES IN THE EPISODE: As the Founder and CEO of Action Takers Publishing, Lynda Sunshine West’s mission is to empower 5 million women and men to share their stories with the world to make a greater impact on the planet. She is affectionately known as The Queen of Collaboration. Lynda Sunshine is a Book Publisher, Speaker, Multiple Times International #1 Best-Selling Author, Executive Film Producer, and a Red Carpet Interviewer. Action Takers Publishing [https://www.actiontakerspublishing.com/] Action Takers Publishing on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/actiontakerspublishing/] Action Takers Publishing YouTube Channel [https://www.youtube.com/c/WomenActionTakers] Quotes in the Episode from Lynda: “You have a story to tell and when you start telling your story, it does several things. One is it helps you to heal. And the other thing is you can help others heal also through your story.” “Even though I was no longer with the abuser, the abuse was still in my head and now I became the abuser of myself.” “When you leave an abusive environment, you can't go back to the same environment because it’s going to help pull you back in. So find those people in your life who do believe in you, who do want to see you succeed and surround yourself with those people.” “When I know the cause, I can move through it.” “Once we have awareness, we can make a decision. And the decision is to stay the same or to change. Either way, we're making a decision. I have awareness. If I decide to stay the same, I have made that decision.” “The majority of my fears were based on the fear of judgment. That fear is the biggest fear.” “When we find our purpose, it's our job and duty to spend the rest of our lives living on purpose instead of living on accident.” “See the opportunity, then seize the opportunity.” If you’re interested in working with Jackie or booking her to speak at your event, conference, school or company, click here to schedule a quick Connect Call via Calendly [https://calendly.com/jackiegraybill/connection-call] For more information about your host, Jackie, copy and paste this link into your browser to check out her milkshake (Linktree alternative ;): msha.ke/jackiegraybill RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE EPISODE: Information The First Seven Years of Our Lives Could Be Our Most Important [https://www.worldbank.org/en/news/press-release/2014/06/05/the-first-seven-years-are-key-to-a-successful-life#:~:text=%E2%80%9CThe%20first%20years%20are%20the,prosperity%2C%20inclusiveness%20and%20social%20stability.] Guide to Gaslighting [https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/a-guide-to-gaslighting] Financial abuse is found in 98% of all cases of abuse [https://youtu.be/xhXzvJDtjKk] You Are the Average of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With [https://dreammaker.co.uk/blog/you-are-the-average-of-the-five/]  Taking 100% responsibility: E+R=O (Event + Response = the Outcome) [https://jackcanfield.com/blog/the-formula-that-puts-you-in-control-of-success/#:~:text=E%20%2B%20R%20%3D%20O%20(Events,earlier%20event%20in%20your%20life.] Books The Year of Fears by Lynda Sunshine West [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B078JMX2BB&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_AKVC39HYWHN43K8W51MR]  Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B07N4DLLGS&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_B4K7MYJ1XGN8K5ET41E7] The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield [https://www.amazon.com/Success-Principles-TM-Anniversary-Where/dp/0062364286/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1654556217&sr=8-1] YouTube Vids What is a Covert Narcissist? (Dr. Ramani) [https://youtu.be/mNFIQ46-s-A] Fear vs. Excitement (Simon Sinek) [https://youtu.be/0SUTInEaQ3Q] *Books listed above may contain an affiliate link. There is no additional cost to you and I only endorse things I truly believe in.

How Can I Change My Relationship Patterns?

Jackie Graybill interviews Regina Andler about her experience as a teenager and how she has healed her life. Regina is a Jack Canfield Success Principles Certified Coach and is the founder and CEO of Autumn Ascent Consulting. She can be found at her website [www.autumnascent.com] and her Facebook group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenoverwhelmedtooverjoyed/]. If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the US for help [https://www.thehotline.org/] If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the UK for help [https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/] RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE EPISODE: Information The Cycle of Abuse [https://www.ywca-shr.org/understanding-the-cycle-of-domestic-abuse/] What is Coercive Control? [https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/] Lundy Bancroft’s 9 Types of Male Abusers [http://intheknowwithro.blogspot.com/2014/02/nine-types-of-abusers-who-are-you.html] The 5 Stages of Grief [https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html] Mirror Meditation [https://www.mindful.org/what-the-mirror-can-teach-you-about-yourself-advice-from-a-mirror-gazing-expert/] What is The Law of Attraction? [https://jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/] E+R=O (Event + Response = the Outcome) [https://jackcanfield.com/blog/the-formula-that-puts-you-in-control-of-success/#:~:text=E%20%2B%20R%20%3D%20O%20(Events,earlier%20event%20in%20your%20life.] It takes 7 times, on average, to leave an abusive relationship for good [https://safespaceworkplace.com/2017/03/15/take-seven-times-leave-abusive-relationship/] Your Gut is Your Second Brain [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/] Financial abuse is found in 98% of all cases of abuse [https://youtu.be/xhXzvJDtjKk] Books Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B06XFKNB2Y&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_ADPHAXWBBQWDHCHKS32Z&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life by Evan Stark [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B00VQVNCES&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_1N9RB5KEM79TBAC9GGCX&tag=jackiegraybil-21] The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Success-Principles-Where-Want-Canfield/dp/0060594888/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1652554945&sr=1-1] The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond by Patricia Evans [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B01MYCGDMF&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_1ZG18106XR7196S185AJ&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B000Q9J0RO&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_2VGKTX7XEW1159K3PT8E&tag=jackiegraybil-21] The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay Or Go By Patricia Evans [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B01MYCJKS8&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_FK67N172X6R4FYKHKTGB&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath's Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power by Christiane Northrup, MD [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B0794VZP6H&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_YVVQKGHPRQ3FHVTHH1B1&tag=jackiegraybil-21] People Evan Stark [https://evanstark.weebly.com/about.html]  YouTube Vids Covert Narcissism (Dr. Ramani) [https://youtu.be/mNFIQ46-s-A]

Can Men Experience Abuse Too?

If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the US for help [https://www.thehotline.org/] If you are, or think you may be, experiencing abuse, click here in the UK for help [https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/] In this episode, Jackie interviews author and non-profit founder Lee Marks on his story and his path to becoming an author and an advocate for men who experience abuse. BIO + COOL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE'S GUEST: Lee Marks is the founder of Break the Silence UK and began the organization following the release of “Break the Silence,“ his support guide for male victims of domestic abuse. This book is now used in a number of male domestic abuse services across the UK as well as being on the approved reading list for the domestic abuse diploma at his local university. Following the success of this, Lee has gone on to write his first fiction novel “The Silent Truth,“ again based around a male victim of domestic abuse that has received very high praise indeed. Lee is a qualified CBT and NLP therapist and is currently undertaking his Masters degree in Understanding Domestic and Sexual Violence. “Has your partner ever portrayed any behavior that made you feel a bit uncomfortable? If so, let's talk about that.” “What we hear all the time is domestic abuse is a gendered crime. It is not. Domestic abuse is a crime that can happen to anybody.” “I'd like to say one day I'd fully recover, but I think domestic abuse changes you as a person. And I think that aspects of the way that it changes you, that you can't go back to how you were. And what you have to do, is you're recreating the best possible you, you can, from that situation that you've been in. And it's about having the right people around you that are going to support that process. Over 11 years since I came out of that relationship, and it's still an ongoing process, I'm still learning about me, I'm still learning about who I am.  I had to become a whole new person. I'm not the person I used to be.” If you’re interested in working with Jackie or booking her to speak at your event, conference, school or company, click here to schedule a quick Connect Call via Calendly [https://calendly.com/jackiegraybill/connection-call] For more information about your host, Jackie, copy and paste this link into your browser to check out her milkshake (Linktree alternative ;): msha.ke/jackiegraybill RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE EPISODE: Organizations Break the Silence: The Organization Lee Founded [https://breakthesilenceuk.co.uk/about-us/] Video for Break the Silence UK [https://youtu.be/ZL2CgNGbjjQ] The Court Said UK [https://thecourtsaid.org/] Books Break the Silence: A Support Guide for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse (by Lee Marks) [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B09MD8QX7N&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_HJ5Y50D0BCR2RPYYYBHR&tag=jackiegraybil-21] The Silent Truth (by Lee Marks) [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B095RHR1NK&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_07DN8KZDCBE8EFVVRWN5&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Until Death Do Us Part: Sequel to The Silent Truth (by Lee Marks) [https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B09LMQLW9H&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_RFKM078C1GWZ6V0CDSNM&tag=jackiegraybil-21] Articles, Information and Legislation Original Duluth Power and Control Wheel [https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/] Gender neutral version of the Power and Control Wheel [https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2019-08/Gender%20Neutral%20Power%20Control%20Wheel.pdf] The Cycle of Abuse [https://www.ywca-shr.org/understanding-the-cycle-of-domestic-abuse/] Mary Wallstonecraft on equality [https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2015/oct/05/original-suffragette-mary-wollstonecraft#:~:text=She%20didn't%20exclude%20men,first%20child%20out%20of%20wedlock.] TED Talk on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) [https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en]  Definition and Explanation of CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) [https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/about-cafcass/] Domestic Abuse Bill (UK) [https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-abuse-bill-2020-factsheets/domestic-abuse-bill-2020-overarching-factsheet] The Tender Years Doctrine [https://law.jrank.org/pages/10725/Tender-Years-Doctrine.html] TV Shows Abused By My Girlfriend (documentary) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9812676/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk] People Mentioned Martin Lakeman: provided training for courts [https://twitter.com/martinlakeman?s=20&t=9Qqf8slFKqhLJxk0RDkDaA] Evan Stark: Father of the Coercive Control Movement [https://evanstark.weebly.com/about.html] Events and Interviews The International Coercive Control Conference [https://theccc.international/] Lee’s Interview with Hidayat Live TV (Sky TV Channel 733) [https://youtu.be/QLkzqRXy4dk] Lee’s Interview on the Black Country Blokes Radio Show [https://youtu.be/3t2qbp_YE24] *Books listed above may contain an affiliate link. There is no additional cost to you and I only endorse things I truly believe in.