Jiujitsu Couples Therapy

Plateaus in Jiujitsu/ Breaking Confirmation Bias

In this episode we ask: who are you avoiding in the training room and why? We discuss the psychological concept of confirmation bias and how it affects your training progress, mindset, and relationships on the mats. We explore the many ways in which our biases play politics, cliques and teaching methods in the gym and look at practical ways to identify and challenge these ingrained mental patterns to elevate your game and personal growth. Confirmation Bias in Jiu Jitsu 37:49 - Strategies for challenging assumptions, including seeking out partners you avoid 39:16 - The importance of honest data collection and reflection after roles 40:22 - Reframing wins and losses as information, not judgments 41:40 - The value of working on techniques with diverse, top-tier training partners 43:41 - The need for integrating mental training and ego management 44:40 - The example of Keenan Cornelius deliberately shunning his A game to develop a holistic skill set 47:05 - Using deliberate practice to prevent stagnation and build resilience 48:02 - Final thoughts: questioning assumptions as a path to continuous growth Resources & Links: * Keenan Cornelius - Developing a Holistic Jiu Jitsu Game [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Keenan+Cornelius] (search for his books or content) * Theory of Mind - Understanding Others' Perspectives [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/theory-mind] Connect with Joshua & Susan: * Instagram [https://instagram.com/jiujitsucouplestherapy] Note: For actionable insights, keep questioning your assumptions, diversify your training partners, and stay aware of your mental filters to unlock new levels in both your Jiu Jitsu and life.

"Earned My Blue Belt, Now What?/ I've Lost My Passion for Jiujitsu"

In this episode we discuss: How to find your footing as a new blue belt- what you should focus on and what realistic goals to set, how to look for opportunities within your gym to build leadership skills. Also, it’s ok to be a hobbyist, jiujitsu doesn’t have to be your whole life, how to overcome boredom in jiujitsu as so much more. 00:35 - The significance of blue belt as a milestone and common ego pitfalls 01:04 - Expectations versus reality at blue belt and differentiation from other belts 05:19 - The value of focusing on a specific technique or aspect of your game 06:41 - Managing ego, pressure from higher belts, and setting achievable goals 07:37 - The power of consistent, targeted practice and mental framing 09:06 - The role of mentors in guiding your progression 12:23 - Expanding your game beyond comfort zones 13:23 - Giving back: becoming a helper or community role to stay engaged 15:48 - Recognizing patterns and applying analytical thinking 16:18 - Managing energy and maintaining support roles 17:17 - Dealing with burnout and the importance of mental health 18:19 - Reframing jiu-jitsu as a joyful part of life 19:01 - Letting go of perfectionism and guilt around missed training 20:27 - The balance of love and passion for jiu-jitsu 22:19 - The importance of training smart and respecting your body 23:31 - Breaking the identity that jiu-jitsu is all of who you are 27:42 - Cultivating passion without pressure or expectations 28:12 - Recognizing when you're losing love for the art and how to navigate it 29:10 - The value of taking breaks and seasonal shifts in passion 30:07 - Embracing change and life’s seasons using musical metaphors 31:40 - The importance of self-awareness and gradual evolution 33:08 - The pitfalls of measuring self-worth solely through achievement 37:04 - Accepting burnout and adjusting expectations 38:31 - Moving away from unhealthy competition obsession 40:35 - Defining your own version of success in jiu-jitsu 44:36 - Embracing aging and physical limitations 45:24 - Letting go of perfectionism and self-judgment 46:17 - Supporting teammates’ competing goals 47:15 - Do jiu-jitsu for your happiness, not external validation 48:08 - Closing thoughts: balance, community, and self-compassion Resources & Links: * The Jiu-Jitsu Belt System Explained [https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Jiu-Jitsu+Belt+System] (General overview; search for authoritative guides) * Influential Jiu-Jitsu Mentors and Coaches [https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/people/?keywords=jiu+jitsu+coach] * Role of Mentors in Martial Arts [https://www.martialartsmindset.com/mentorship] * Mental Health & Burnout in Martial Arts [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-martial-arts-psychologist/202201/burnout-high-level-martial-art-training] * The Importance of Community in Jiu-Jitsu [https://grapplinginsider.com/why-community-is-critical-in-bjj/] Connect with Joshua Citrak: * Twitter [https://twitter.com/joshcitrak] * Instagram [https://instagram.com/joshcitrak]

Will BJJ Make My Kid A Bully?/ Afraid of Losing in Front of Your Coach?

We discuss: whether BJJ is really good for kid’s self defense, will jiujitsu make my kid into a bully, the value of learning martial arts virtues (discipline, confidence, courage) at a young age, coaching leadership styles, I hate losing in front of my coach (and he/she probably hates watching you lose), reenforcing positive mindsets no matter the outcome and so much more. * (00:00) - Introduction: Kids' self-defense vs. fighting instinct & coaching influence * (03:02) - Is Jiu Jitsu beneficial for children's self-defense, or does it risk teaching children to fight? * (04:33) - The importance of practical self-defense skills like escaping from pins or headlocks * (05:56) - The limitations of sport-focused submissions for real-world self-defense * (07:47) - The importance of age-appropriate training and realistic expectations * (08:47) - Can Jiu Jitsu help kids handle situations involving multiple attackers? * (10:14) - The significance of developing confidence, voice, and responsibility in children * (13:33) - Does training make kids bully-proof or could it foster aggression if coached poorly? * (14:43) - The internal vs. external validation: coaching for growth vs. ego * (16:11) - How to evaluate a gym during trial classes: attention, behavior, environment * (17:38) - The role of mentorship among older students; building leadership in kids * (20:34) - How coaches and gym culture influence kids' behavior and confidence * (22:01) - The inherently selfish nature of Jiu Jitsu and its impact on student mentality * (23:04) - Risks of toxic competition culture: bullying, peer pressure, and unhealthy validation * (25:07) - Coaches who tie their self-worth to students' results and the risks involved * (26:07) - Managing expectations and the importance of leadership and team culture * (28:48) - Celebrating effort and personal growth over medals and rankings * (30:15) - Helping students recover from disappointment; fostering resilience * (33:38) - Rethinking competitive priorities: fun, camaraderie, and community * (37:02) - The most meaningful moments: supporting kids through victories and losses * (40:26) - The value of losing and setbacks for personal growth * (44:47) - The impact of judgment, comparison, and creating a supportive environment * (49:03) - Closing thoughts: focus on individual progress and avoiding toxic competition culture Resources & Links * Gracie University [https://www.gracieuniversity.com/] – for self-defense and anti-bullying programs * The Role of Confidence in Kids' Martial Arts [https://www.example.com/confidence-kids-martial-article] * Understanding Coaching Impact [https://www.coachingpsychology.org/] Connect with the Hosts: * Joshua Citrak - LinkedIn [https://linkedin.com/in/joshua-citrak] | Twitter [https://twitter.com/joshcitrak] | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/jiujitsucouplestherapy]

Etiquette For Visiting BJJ Gym/ Essential Tips for Travelers, Coaches and Newcomers

Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Gym Etiquette 07:27 Observing and Adapting to Different Cultures 13:57 Understanding Uniform Policies 19:14 Respecting Training Norms and Rolling Light 28:10 Creating a Welcoming Environment as a Coach 38:22 Final Thoughts on Gym Etiquette  Resources Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Etiquette Guide - https://www.bjjheroes.com/bjj-news/bjj-etiquette-guide [https://www.bjjheroes.com/bjj-news/bjj-etiquette-guide] IBJJF Rules and Policies - https://www.ibjjf.com/rules [https://www.ibjjf.com/rules] Travel Tips for BJJ Practitioners - https://www.grapplinginsider.com/travel-tips-for-bjj-practitioners/ [https://www.grapplinginsider.com/travel-tips-for-bjj-practitioners/]  guest links Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/JuijitsuCouplesTherapy/ [https://www.instagram.com/JuijitsuCouplesTherapy/]

"What's Happening at Atos/ Is Jiujitsu Safe?"

In this episode we discuss: the fallout from the Atos situation and the muted response to it, how can jiujitsu clean it’s image in light of a slew of similar allegations, women in co-equal positions of power at BJJ gyms (but how that might not be silver bullet for the current situation), women defending the patriarchy when it serves them, it’s time for a real, accountable governing body for American jiujitsu, possible solutions and mitigations for unsavory gyms and we propose a few ideas of what to look for in a safe gym. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy and Current Issues 05:49 Bro Culture and Toxic Masculinity in Martial Arts 12:06 Accusations and the Need for Listening 17:56 Empowering Women in Jiu Jitsu 23:51 The Need for a Governing Body in Jiu Jitsu 30:37 The State of Jiu-Jitsu Governance 35:52 Protecting the Vulnerable: Parental Responsibility 41:31 Identifying Red Flags in Gyms 50:33 Diversity and Inclusion in Jiu-Jitsu 57:54 The Future of Jiu-Jitsu: A Call to Action Sources: Jiu Jitsu Reddit Community - https://www.reddit.com/r/bjj/ [https://www.reddit.com/r/bjj/] Fighting Matters Podcast - https://fightingmatters.com [https://fightingmatters.com] IBJJF Official Website - https://www.ibjjf.com [https://www.ibjjf.com] Hapkido USA - https://hapkidousa.org [https://hapkidousa.org] Stefan Kesting's YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/user/StefanKesting [https://www.youtube.com/user/StefanKesting] Keenan Cornelius' Video on Safety and Culture - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=example [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=example] LGBTQ+ Friendly Gym Database (Example) - https://lgbtqgyms.com [https://lgbtqgyms.com]