The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast

Podcast

The gang discovers they've been recording episodes for months that went nowhere! Natty tries to solve the mystery while Rufus obsesses over his 77-cent bank deposits and Producer reveals he thought it was all improv.

Shingles

Natty explains his recent absence due to illness and tells the wild story of discovering he had shingles — couch accidents, awkwardly telling his doctor "I don't like you," horse-sized pills, and how cupping made him technically an Olympic athlete.

Robot

ROBOT does something helpful?! You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!

Monster

Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com [bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com]. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast_469-season_3-sleepums.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=12009640&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D13412] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #470 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Monster”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-470-season-3-monster/”, “datePublished”: “2026-03-06”, “episodeNumber”: 470, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}, “description”: “Monster’s favorite sandwich shop becomes a boba place, causing chaos as the gang tries to navigate potential sponsorships, legal threats, and everyone’s food phobias in this delightfully absurd episode.”} Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast_469-season_3-sleepums.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=12009640&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D13412] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “FAQPage”, “mainEntity”: [{“@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What is Bumperpodcast #470 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Monster about?”, “acceptedAnswer”: {“@type”: “Answer”, “text”: “Monster’s favorite sandwich shop becomes a boba place, causing chaos as the gang tries to navigate potential sponsorships, legal threats, and everyone’s food phobias in this delightfully absurd episode.”}}, {“@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What topics are covered in Bumperpodcast #470?”, “acceptedAnswer”: {“@type”: “Answer”, “text”: “Bumperpodcast #470 covers: comedy, food, sponsorship, business, legal troubles, friendship, disappointment, boba.”}}]} Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast_469-season_3-sleepums.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=12009640&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D13412] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] Explore More: Characters [/characters/] | About the Show [/about-the-show/] | Episode Guide [/bumperpodcast-episodes/] | All Episodes [/bumperpodcast/] Natty Bumpercar: Well, hello there everybody, it's me, uh, already, oh, hey, monster, how's it going? I'm so, you sound so sad, what's going on? Monster: Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, monster, what's going on? You sound, you sound, you sound, you sound, you sound Whoa, are you okay, pig? Pig: What's going on with me today? I was like trying to get my pig engine started Natty Bumpercar: No, I think, did, did everybody just wake up? I feel like everybody might have just woken up Because that's how everyone sounds right now Producer: Hello, everybody, oh, I'm just, oh, are we recording an episode right now? I just thought it was nap time, I looked at the calendar and it says everybody should be taking a nap right now But now I look, oh, hello, monster, how are you doing? Monster: Whoa, is it really all that bad? Natty Bumpercar: Hello there, monster, I heard you from the other side of the room over there Rufus T. Firefly: It sounds like you're in a great state of distress Now, should I, what's going on? Should we be having a conversation? Should we, do you want, do you need legal representation? Monster: No Rufus T. Firefly: Or, or, or what? Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, just because somebody's having a rough time does not mean that they necessarily need a lawyer or legal representation Maybe, so, monster, what is, what is happening? What's going on? Pig: Just really quickly, though, before we jump into that, am I allowed to go back to sleep? Or are we going to record? What's the plan here? Natty Bumpercar: We should be, I should stay, okay, I should stay awake Yes, just stay awake Pig: Okay, I heard you, heard Natty Bumpercar: Just stay awake Pig: Got you, okay Natty Bumpercar: Okay, okay, thank you Monster: Now, monster, what is going on? Natty Bumpercar: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Rufus T. Firefly: Yep, I, okay, I completely, I completely understand Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second, if I may Monster: So, I didn't realize that, should I close the place down? Natty Bumpercar: Yeah Monster: When did that happen? Rufus T. Firefly: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Yes, sorry, thank you, monster, but really quick, Nappy, I get, I'm so sorry to interrupt again Producer: I have to ask, are we going to be doing some sort of, um, um, um, transcriptions or some subtitles? Natty Bumpercar: Do they, they don't even know, do they, do they do subtitles in, uh, the, the, the podcast? Rufus T. Firefly: Cause I don't, I don't know if everyone's going to understand, monster, I mean, I do, clearly, but, you know, I understand why you're upset as well Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Producer: Yeah, no, I agree, uh, monster, I'm here with you, I agree, producer, it was a good point, and monster, I don't think he was trying to upset you necessarily I think it's just because he's the producer of the podcast, and the podcast, you know, podcast, with podcast Natty Bumpercar: It's actually in my name, it's producer, so I'm producing, and that was just an example of me producing, you see, it's like a thing, an issue Yep, yep, yep And I fixed it, I tried to, and I don't know if I actually did Monster: Yeah, I don't know if you actually did either, um, well, monster, I, just so everyone knows, monster, I'll just translate, cause I don't know if trans, I don't know how that would work Natty Bumpercar: Um, so there was a sandwich shop that monster used to go to, and he went there today, and the sandwich shop is now gone, and it's an entirely new business that just serves boba, is what I understand Monster: Yeah, I don't know, I don't, okay, so explain to me, so it's not even like boba tea, it's not even like, you know, the drinks, or the, oh look, here's some mango, here's some boba, or whatever, it's just all these salads, the little circles, the little things, they come in a bowl? How do you get them? Natty Bumpercar: Oh, okay, so Sorry, yeah, I can't stand that either, like, if I'm, just, listen, I love that places give samples, but don't make me feel guilty when you're trying to give me a sample, like, I don't, if I, if I want to come over and get a sample, I see that you have a tray, I know what's on the tray, that there's something that you're trying to give me a sample of that Rufus T. Firefly: But if, don't, don't yell at me across the street, and, you know, Monster, I get it, you went there to a sandwich shop thinking you were going to a sandwich shop, and then all of a sudden you're assaulted by this person who's trying to force samples of, of boba, did it have, were there like flavors, or, and, is it, how do they serve it, just the little, those little ball things, like, it's not even Hold on How does that work? Natty Bumpercar: We gotta, actually, we gotta say nice things about, this is a new business that's here in the Compton County, it's called Aloysious J. Pig: BBSMB, BBSMB, that's the initials, you know how they like to do like initials, and so it's called Boba, Boba, some more Boba, alright, BBSMB, Boba, Boba, some more Boba, yeah And I've been talking to them, there's a nice little family shop there, and I might be getting them to come on and sponsor the podcast Natty Bumpercar: So I, uh, I'm broke You're okay Rufus, good on you for going out and getting new clients, potentially for the podcast But maybe now's not the time to start bringing up that we might be financially entangled with the people who have taken away Monster: Monster's favorite sandwich shop while he's in studio and obviously upset about things Aloysious J. Pig: Very upset about things, and understandably so, again, Monster And agreeing with Aloysius, Rufus, maybe just, maybe we can talk about that later Number one Number two Uh, we, really? A sponsor? We've never had a sponsor, that's pretty fun Natty Bumpercar: Let's make that happen Alright, between you and me, let's make that happen I agree, uh, to a point there, uh, Monster Uh, that, you know, maybe some place called Boba, Boba, Small Boba Pig: Uh, isn't gonna be a very good client to bring on because they can't possibly last very long Because all they're selling is little tapioca balls, uh, flavored gelatin, I suppose I mean, not, not everybody's, not on everybody's palate Monster: They tried to get me to take a sample, and I said, oh, no, I did not eat marbles, alright Pig: I said, take those marbles away from me, I swallowed a marble when I was a child Natty Bumpercar: And it did not taste good It's not, you don't I was allergic to them You're not allergic to them, you just aren't supposed to eat marbles Pig: Um, and these are not marbles Producer: And you, being a lawyer, and especially if we're representing the Boba, Boba, Small Boba Uh, should know that we don't want to, uh, slander the business by saying bad and, um, uh, unfactual Natty Bumpercar: Is that a, un, lacking in facts, factuals? Uh, things about, about a business, a brand new business that's in town that's trying to give us money, okay Producer: Maybe we should all go down there later, Monster, you can come with us Natty Bumpercar: And we can talk to the business, and maybe, maybe it's all gonna work out perfectly Producer: Okay, yeah, and I, and I, and I agree with that Uh, Natty, I think you and Rufus may be losing the point here a little bit Um, M-O-N-S-T-E-R should stay here Natty Bumpercar: I can stay with You guys can go get me some, uh, some of these marbles Rufus T. Firefly: Love to try them, alright Love to have a sponsor for the show, alright Uh, but I just do not think it's in anyone's best, uh, interests Yeah To, uh, have Monster come along with us for this field trip I completely agree, that makes sense Natty Bumpercar: Yes, thank you Rufus T. Firefly: Okay, we don't want to scare the new people Natty Bumpercar: We don't want to, um, bring in someone who's upset that they're there Rufus T. Firefly: So that's a good idea, and thank you very much, uh, Pig For, um, for Baby's Monster Sitting? Natty Bumpercar: Uh, yeah, well, um, I don't think I'm gonna go either Um, Pig, and it's just kind of like a, um, it's not a cultural thing It's like, I mean, frogs don't like boba, okay? Because, and it's weird to talk about in person with private, it's kind of private information Well, you don't have to talk about it on the podcast if it's such private information, uh, producer Pig: Uh, you could just leave it at, you don't like boba And then you don't have to come, and that is No, here's the thing, though, I think I should, yep, I'm still Okay, yeah, you're still talking Rufus T. Firefly: Well, boba, uh, look a little bit like frog eggs, okay? And so I see them, and I was at the big frog meeting, we were having a conversation about boba And, you know, somebody walked in with a sample of these things, these little marbles And it just really gives everybody the icks, the yucks, you know? Announcer: And like, I'm a frog, I eat bugs, but this is just a little bit too much for me, okay? Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second So, I, what? Yeah, producer, sorry, that was the owners there of, uh, Boba, Boba, and some more Boba And they called in because they heard everybody was talking about them Which they thought it was gonna be a good thing Initially they said, well, this is what we want, you know, we want our name on the bumper podcast We want it out there, we want people talking about it There's no such thing as bad publicity And then they might have caught wind, they might have heard you over there talking about frog eggs And I think that that might have really upset them And then, who was it that was just talking about marbles? Well, you can't talk, they aren't marbles, they're food, alright? They're little, delicious balls of wondrous tapioca Boba, and Boba, and some more Boba, you get? Well, not only did we lose them as a sponsor Oh no But evidently, they're gonna be seeking litigation What? Who's gonna be their lawyer? I know Well, it's me So you're now going to be suing us On behalf of the sponsor that we almost had That was a sandwich shop that upset Monster And now is a Boba shop which freaks out Pig because of marbles And freaks out Producer because of frog eggs Wonderful Okay, this is going very well I'm glad you stopped in, Monster Hold on, Natty So are you guys still going on the field trip? Because you don't even have to go there necessarily But I am feeling pretty hungry after all this talk And I was wondering if maybe you guys could get me some food? You know what? That's actually not a bad idea I tend to work better as a lawyer when I have some food in my belly Now let me think, sir What kind of food could we get? Monster, now wasn't there some sandwich shop that was your favorite sandwich shop around? Maybe we could go there You think there's some place that would work out? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous Thanks a bundle for listening If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast Check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Share it with everyone everywhere Post about it on all of the social medias Or leave a rating and review The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar We also have an absurd newsletter Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter Hugs and hearts, see you soon

Roadtrip

This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida. You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com [bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com]. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast-468.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=11974631&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D12339] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Copy-of-Copy-of-Copy-of-Bumperpodcast-tomato-soup-scaled.png] ---------------------------------------- ABOUT THIS EPISODE This is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself. MEMORABLE QUOTES > “This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.” > > > — Natty Bumpercar > “You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.” > > > — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy Featuring: Natty Bumpercar {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #469 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Roadtrip”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-469-season-3-roadtrip/”, “datePublished”: “2026-02-10”, “episodeNumber”: 469, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}} Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast-468.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=11974631&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D12339] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] Explore More: Characters [/characters/] | About the Show [/about-the-show/] | Episode Guide [/bumperpodcast-episodes/] | All Episodes [/bumperpodcast/] Podcast: Download [http://pdcn.co/e/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/media.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/mc.blubrry.com/bumperpodcast/Bumperpodcast-468.mp3?awCollectionId=7415&awEpisodeId=11974631&aw_0_azn.pgenre=Comedy&aw_0_1st.ri=blubrry&aw_0_azn.pcountry=US&aw_0_azn.planguage=en&cat_exclude=IAB1-8%2CIAB1-9%2CIAB3%2CIAB7-41%2CIAB8-5%2CIAB8-18%2CIAB11%2CIAB12%2CIAB13%2CIAB14%2CIAB17%2CIAB21%2CIAB23%2CIAB24%2CIAB25%2CIAB26&aw_0_cnt.rss=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2Ffeed%2Fpodcast%2F] | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts [https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/natty-bumpercar/id330037859?mt=2&ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nattybumpercar.com%2F%3Fp%3D12339] | Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/0XYMaCU9QCcrDl8mlfWX70] | iHeartRadio [https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-the-natty-bumpercar-bumper-31110102/] | RSS [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/feed/podcast/] | subscribe [https://www.nattybumpercar.com/subscribe-to-podcast-2/] Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #469 Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No. What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are? >> Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible. And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know. It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30. >> So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much? >> Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers. We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time. Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things? >> No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000. Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours? >> Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice. Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable. Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever. And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us. So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye. Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know. I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing. What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him. I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that. No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food. And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free. I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again. There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what? No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye? I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure. It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude? What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words. Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh paying attention and then the second I not even the second I I step out of the door, the second they stop talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so you know, it's uh I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to uh your your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? >> Yes. I don't have a Yes. I I don't really have an option. I have drops drops for my eye and uh they're they're uh what other steroids. >> Oh, Netty, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know. Uh steroids and I it's not not something you should be messing around with. And I uh No, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's gonna be okay, I think. I think. I don't know. >> Well, but wait, hold on. So, you just do it in the one eye because what happens if your your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to How's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I um >> Well, hold on. So, what is your um your talk? What are you talking about? The podcast the the show you you said you're talking. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm um talking about uh improvised podcasts and uh you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I uh >> Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. Pod. We're all talking weird tonight. Must be the Florida in this. You're talking about improvised podcasts. This doesn't make no s like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why I mean, what are you talking about? I don't Well, I don't know. You know, the Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T, Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, so wait, hold on, so where are we again? Natty Bumpercar: I think we're in, well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really… Rufus T. Rufus: Nah, what, what do you mean you don't really? You don't know where your ear are? Natty Bumpercar: Your ear? Rufus T. Rufus: Did you just say ear? Natty Bumpercar: You mean are. You don't know where you are? Rufus T. Rufus: Your ear, that's what I was trying to say. Natty Bumpercar: Well yeah, but I, so I got on a train somewhere, and while I was driving, using the map on Rufus T. Rufus: my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break, and Producer Dan: so I didn't know where I was going, and I had to stop every so often to find Wi-Fi and Rufus T. Rufus: to like, you know, update the map, and it was terrible, and it made me very nervous and stressed, and pretty much late. So did you, so you got on the train? Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I got on the train, I, I, I don't know, it's like, you give them your car, and you Rufus T. Rufus: walk inside, they give you a piece of paper, you walk inside, they give you another piece of paper, and then you have to sit and wait for about an hour, and then you get to go Natty Bumpercar: inside, and then, so I think the train left at like 3.30 yesterday, and now, it arrived Rufus T. Rufus: where in, somewhere in Florida, at like 8.30. Natty Bumpercar: So wait, hold on, I'm doing the, producer, can you, can you do the numbers for me, so you see how much? Uh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I am doing the math here, so here, we're gonna round it up, we're going to take the numbers, we're going to go, okay, that's 12, 16, I would say 7, Rufus T. Rufus: we're gonna say by 17, 17 hours I think? That's a long time, that is, I don't wanna say too long, but that's a long, long, long, Natty Bumpercar: long, long time. Rufus T. Rufus: Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what'd you do, what'd you do on the train? Natty Bumpercar: Did you get like a, did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things? Rufus T. Rufus: No, no, no, no, no, that was way too expensive. Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I, uh, whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something, uh, to, to get your own little Rufus T. Rufus: sleeping booth thing was like, I, I'm gonna guess ,000? Well, now let me, I'm gonna need to look at that contract, cause that doesn't make Natty Bumpercar: no sense at all. Rufus T. Rufus: You got your 150 to sit in a seat and you're telling me ,000 to, I don't, now Natty, Natty Bumpercar: I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make any, even a little bit Rufus T. Rufus: of sense. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so, okay, um, you're in, so you just sat in a chair for 17 hours? Rufus T. Rufus: Well, no, I, um, yeah, well kind of, but no, but the chair, like it, the back went Natty Bumpercar: back, it reclined, and then like the, the little thing, your legs came up, and, um, so in theory, it should've been nice, uh, the only problem, well there were a couple Rufus T. Rufus: problems, um, I, I think that I'm about, I'm gonna say three inches too tall for whatever Natty Bumpercar: is considered, uh, to be the norm, uh, for tallness, for tallitude, because any place Rufus T. Rufus: I go, like airplanes, like this thing, my, if I had that extra three or four inches, Natty Bumpercar: then my feet wouldn't be, what just happened, crushed, my feet would not be, like I have Rufus T. Rufus: to bend them, and I'm trying to like find little places to put them, and it's miserable. Natty Bumpercar: Um, everything else is back, uh, kind of okay, um, the funny thing is, so there's this other Rufus T. Rufus: guy, who's, there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other, so I get there, and, Natty Bumpercar: uh, the seats open, and I was like, hey, and the guy was like, oh, is this you? Rufus T. Rufus: And I was like, yeah. Natty Bumpercar: So he said, wait, so he started off aggressive immediately. Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, he didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever, and, uh, so then I Natty Bumpercar: had to squeeze in, get into my seat, and, uh, the best part was, in that 17 hours, those Rufus T. Rufus: are the only words he said to me. Natty Bumpercar: So, uh, for me, for my money, that's, that was great, because I, I didn't really feel Announcer: like chatting with him, uh, especially, so as soon as I got, and I sat down in the seat, Natty Bumpercar: he, he was kind of aggravated, and he was like, well, where's the armrest seat? Because he wanted there to be an armrest in between us, so, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us, who knows? But, uh, what chicanery could have happened? None. Um, so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of, just said goodbye, tapped out. Um, and then, the best cool thing was, at some point, I figured out there was a dining car where you could go, and, and, well, and there were booths, and I, so I got to sit in a booth, and it was much more comfortable, um, and, and, um, and then I, they had, I got a cheeseburger, which was in a plastic bag, and was microwaved, and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu, and the, the woman behind the counter was, she was like, I don't know, I don't know, how's that? I don't know. Alright, what about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And, um, so then I sat down, and I, uh, the Wi- there was Wi-Fi, so, hold on. What did you say? Like, Wi-Fi? Like that? It doesn't make any… Yeah, I heard him, I heard him too. I was going to say something else, and then I heard him. Is that because, are you a fancy person now, because you're riding on a train, that you're saying like, oh, Wi-Fi, like that? No, I just, it came out weird. I stopped. Um, but now, you know, so I got to use the Wi-Fis, which means I got to work, which everyone knows I love to do all the time, and, uh, now, and now, you know, I think I sat there working for probably three or four hours, and around 10.30 or so, this guy who was working on the train, uh, walked by with this box, and he was just like, hey, who wants, anybody hungry? And he just had all this free food, and he gave me, uh, a thing of, I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was delicious. It was spicy, and, uh, it was free, which, you know, I love free, I love working, and I love free. Um, so then, I don't, I didn't go back to the, my actual seat until closer to, like, 11.30 or 12, because I knew, like, I was tired, and I could just go, and I could pass out. All right, great, okay, so we don't need a run by, like, minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh, yeah, so I'm, I'm going to a, a podcast convention called Podfest, and, um, and I get to speak at this thing. Now, hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why do you, why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a, onto a, a train, and, and, and, and, just to talk? You could, I mean, you could just talk wherever you are. That's what you seem to do. Everybody always like, oh, now there's talking again. There we go, he's talking some more. Uh, yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. Talk what? No, I'm sorry, you do talk, talk a lot. I kind of trailed off there a little bit. Um, yeah. Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with your, uh, your eye? I notice it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was, uh, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever, and, uh, one of my kids came in and he, he, he, he was just, hey, hey dad, and then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, what's wrong with your eye? And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I mean, it's just kind of like pressure. It's like, ah, I'm looking at the computer too much, whatever. And I got up and I, I looked in the mirror. My left eye, uh, was, uh, uh, all bright red. So, uh, uh, why was it all bright red? What do you, what happened? Well, evidently I burst, burst a blood vessel in my, in my eye. And so I had something, I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin, sounded like a magic spell words. Um, and I didn't know what, so I gave it a couple of days and I was just like, maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye, which, uh, is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So finally I went to a doctor and they, uh, they checked it out and they were like, ah, it's some sort of subcutaneal, blah, blah, blah, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, what did they say? And I'm like, I don't know. I pretty much, I'm in a conversation with the doctor listening as I should, you know, uh, paying attention. And then the second I, not even the second I step out of the door, the second they stopped talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so, you know, it's, um, I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to, uh, your, your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? Yes. I don't have it. Yes. I don't really have an option. I have drops, drops for my eye and, uh, they're, they're, uh, they're steroids. Oh, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know, uh, steroids and not, it's not, not something you should be messing around with. And I, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's going to be okay. I think. I think. I don't know. Well, wait, hold on. So you just do it in the one eye? Because what happens if your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to, how's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should, I don't know. I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I, um. Well, hold on. So what is your, um, your talk, what are you talking about? The podcast, the show, you said you're talking? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, um, talking about, uh, improvised podcasts and, uh, you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I, uh. Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. We're all talking weird today. It might be the Florida in us. You're talking about improvised podcasts? This doesn't make no sense. Like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why, I mean, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. You know. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.