The Lie Your Nervous System Believes with Conner Custodio

The Lie Your Nervous System Believes with Conner Custodio

What if the reason you can't lose weight, recover from workouts, or stay consistent with your health has nothing to do with discipline — and everything to do with what's unresolved in your story? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with their friend Conner Custodio — a holistic athletic coach who integrates faith, neuroscience, psychology, nutrition, and performance to help athletes regulate their nervous systems and get to the root of what's holding them back. Conner opens up about his own story: growing up in Bermuda in a chaotic household, being homeless at 15, attending six high schools in four years, and the car ride home that changed everything. From there the conversation moves into his work — and it hits whether you're a professional athlete or someone who just can't figure out why they keep falling off a workout routine. His core idea is deceptively simple: athletes attach to their sport because they've lost attachment where they really needed it. And until that gets addressed, no program, no diet, and no amount of discipline will fix what's actually broken. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their own bodies * How the discipline required in sport can create dysregulation everywhere else * What hyper and hypoarousal are — and why staying in either state causes real damage * Why your unresolved story may be keeping your body in a constant low-grade stress state * How trauma affects nutrition, weight loss, and recovery in ways most coaches miss * The difference between attaching to a sport and freely playing one * Why addressing your story may be the single most important thing you can do for your health CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: the lie your nervous system is living by (05:00) Conner's story: Bermuda, six high schools, and being homeless at 15 (13:00) The car ride home that changed everything (18:00) Why athletes are often the most disconnected from their bodies (22:00) Why Conner says we were never designed for professional sports (24:00) Hyperarousal and hypoarousal explained (29:00) Attaching to sport because you've lost attachment where you needed it (39:00) The full cup: when your capacity is already maxed before the day begins (43:00) How trauma keeps your body in a low-grade workout state — and why you may need to eat more to lose weight (51:00) The lie your nervous system believes — and what Jesus says instead LINKS & RESOURCES * Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ [https://threepercentco.com/] * Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership [https://threepercentco.com/membership] * Conner Custodio on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connercustodio/ [https://www.instagram.com/connercustodio/] * Conner's Website: https://connorcustodio.com [https://connorcustodio.com] KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, Conner Custodio, holistic athletic coaching, nervous system regulation, athlete mental health, attachment theory, trauma and the body, hyperarousal, hypoarousal, window of tolerance, nutrition for athletes, reverse dieting, men's mental health, faith and fitness, sports psychology, personal growth, healing, emotional health

AI & Mental Health Part 3: Why Am I Always Anxious?

Can AI help you understand yourself better? Absolutely. But can it replace real human connection? In this episode, Jamie and Blake continue the AI & Mental Health series by exploring both the benefits and limitations of using AI for emotional support. They acknowledge the real value AI can offer—helping people name emotions, identify patterns, and even feel safe enough to begin opening up. But they also draw an important line: self-awareness alone isn’t healing. Together, they unpack why anxiety, loneliness, and emotional pain are ultimately relational issues, not just intellectual problems to solve. AI may be able to give insight, language, and structure, but it cannot sit with you in your pain, notice your posture, respond to your tone, or offer the kind of embodied safety that changes people through relationship. This conversation is thoughtful, nuanced, and deeply compassionate toward those who have found comfort in AI while also gently inviting listeners toward something more: real vulnerability with real people. If you’ve ever found yourself endlessly processing with AI, stuck in your own head, or craving connection while still staying hidden, this episode will help you understand why awareness matters—but relationship is what actually transforms us. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Why AI can help name emotions but cannot resolve relational pain * How anxiety often keeps people trapped in rumination loops * Why emotional healing requires more than intellectual understanding * The difference between feeling “safe” with AI and being truly known by people * How immediacy, tone, and body language shape healing relationships * Why vulnerability becomes transformative when brought into community CHAPTERS (00:00) Continuing the AI & Mental Health conversation(03:00) The surprising benefits of AI for emotional awareness(06:00) Why naming emotions already helps calm the nervous system(10:00) When AI becomes another form of avoidance(14:00) Why anxiety thrives in isolation and rumination(18:00) The limits of intellectual solutions for emotional pain(21:00) What therapists notice that AI never can(27:00) Immediacy: posture, tone, and embodied presence(29:00) Why AI can’t solve a relational problem(31:00) Moving from consuming to cultivating growth(32:00) An invitation into deeper reflection in The Basement LINKS & RESOURCES * Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ * Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership * AI & Mental Health Pt. 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6INc2GgY9IR52t6I38OzbI?si=50451a6ba1844b8bAI & Mental Health Pt. 2: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CROrb1aHEfuxZe2PO4j2f?si=3b17f5629cf34b74 KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, AI and mental health, anxiety, loneliness, emotional health, vulnerability, relationships, emotional awareness, rumination, nervous system, therapy, human connection, men’s mental health, healing, personal growth

How To Be Less Triggered with Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Why do the people we love most have the ability to trigger us the fastest? In this conversation, Dr. Kelly Flanagan joins Jamie and Blake to explore what really happens when we move from connection into protection. Drawing from his new book, The Road Less Triggered, Kelly explains how our nervous systems react to perceived threats, why our hearts close in moments of conflict, and how we can learn to stay present instead of becoming defensive. Together, they unpack why anger is often a doorway into deeper emotions, how sadness gets blocked for many men, and why healing begins by asking not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What happened to me?” The conversation is practical, deeply compassionate, and full of memorable metaphors that make complex emotional dynamics easier to understand. If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your reactions, struggled to stay open in conflict, or wondered why small moments create such big responses, this episode offers a hopeful path toward greater calm, freedom, and connection. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Why being triggered is normal—and doesn’t mean you’re broken * How to move from protection mode back into connection mode * Why anger often points to sadness underneath the surface * What it means to restore your sense of choice in conflict * How boundaries can be set with an open heart * Why healing turns 30-day conflicts into 30-second recoveries CHAPTERS (00:00) Introducing Kelly Flanagan and The Road Less Triggered(05:00) Turning 30 days of conflict into 30 seconds(10:00) What it actually means to be triggered(14:00) Restoring your sense of choice(18:00) Why your nervous system thinks you’re in danger(22:00) Jamie’s story of trauma and non-consensual touch(27:00) Loneliness: feeling unseen, misunderstood, and unsupported(31:00) Calmness before connectedness(34:00) Anger as a doorway into your emotional life(38:00) The sadness underneath anger and anxiety(48:00) Openhearted boundaries(52:00) Final reflections and practical application LINKS & RESOURCES * Dr. Kelly Flanagan [https://drkellyflanagan.com/] * Book: The Road Less Triggered [https://roadlesstriggered.com/] * Three Percent [https://threepercentco.com/] * Join The Basement [https://threepercentco.com/membership] (private community) KEYWORDS Kelly Flanagan, The Road Less Triggered, Three Percent Podcast, emotional triggers, relationships, marriage, anger, sadness, boundaries, vulnerability, men’s mental health, nervous system, trauma and healing, connection, emotional regulation

Inside Your 3%: Where Vulnerability and Safety Meet

What actually makes someone feel safe? In this episode, Jamie and Blake slow down to explore one of the questions they’ve been asked most recently: what does “safety” actually mean—and how does it connect to the core idea behind Three Percent? Through personal stories, recovery experiences, parenting examples, and reflections on friendship, they unpack why vulnerability feels so difficult for most people. Not because something is wrong with us, but because many of us learned early on that honesty, emotion, or neediness didn’t feel safe. The result? We stay hidden, disconnected, and stuck carrying things alone. This conversation reframes vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage. It’s about learning how to recognize safe people, becoming safer people ourselves, and understanding that sharing your “3%” isn’t about oversharing—it’s about creating the kind of connection that leads to healing, freedom, and growth. If you’ve ever struggled to open up, feared being fully known, or wondered why emotional honesty feels so uncomfortable, this episode will help put language to it. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Why vulnerability often feels unsafe long before adulthood * How relational safety is built through attunement, repair, and consistency * What “3%” actually means beyond the podcast name * Why sharing your story creates deeper connection and healing * The difference between emotional safety and emotional comfort * Why staying hidden may feel protective—but ultimately costs more CHAPTERS (00:00) Looking for a new podcast co-host (02:00) Why this conversation about safety matters (04:00) How childhood shapes vulnerability in adulthood (07:00) Trauma, attachment, and feeling emotionally unsafe (10:00) What attunement actually means (12:00) Helping kids regulate emotions in real time (15:00) Why many adults never learned emotional safety (16:00) The deeper meaning behind “3%” (19:00) How to know if someone feels safe (21:00) The fly fishing story and relational vulnerability (24:00) Predictability, repair, and emotional trust (27:00) What being safe for someone else actually looks like (29:00) Why accountability and compassion must coexist (33:00) “Vulnerability will always cost you something” (35:00) Why staying hidden costs even more (37:00) An invitation into deeper connection in The Basement LINKS & RESOURCES * Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ [ https://threepercentco.com/] * Join The Basement (private community + monthly Q&A): https://threepercentco.com/membership [https://threepercentco.com/membership] KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, vulnerability, emotional safety, attachment, trauma and healing, men’s mental health, relationships, emotional regulation, authenticity, connection, shame, healing, friendship, accountability, personal growth

What Makes a Man Safe? with Amy Alexander

What actually makes a man feel safe to others? In this conversation, Amy Alexander—therapist, co-founder of The Refuge Center, and someone who has spent decades working with survivors of trauma and abuse—offers a perspective most men rarely hear. Not from theory, but from real stories of women navigating fear, harm, and healing. Together, they explore the dynamics of power and control that often go unnoticed, and how even subtle patterns—people-pleasing, image management, avoidance, or lack of self-awareness—can erode safety in relationships over time. But this isn’t about shame or blame. It’s an invitation. A chance for men to listen, learn, and grow—not from defensiveness, but from humility. Amy names three powerful markers of a safe man: transparency, accountability, and a willingness to sacrifice time and energy for the good of others. If you’ve ever wondered what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practice—or how to become someone others feel safe with—this conversation offers clarity, honesty, and a path forward. KEY TAKEAWAYS * Why safety isn’t defined by intention—but by how others experience you * How subtle power dynamics can exist even without obvious abuse * Why transparency builds trust faster than perfection ever could * The difference between accountability and shame-dumping * How unresolved patterns can quietly shape your relationships * Why sacrificing time and energy is essential to becoming a safe partner CHAPTERS (00:00) The story behind The Refuge Center (04:00) Making therapy affordable, excellent, and accessible (08:00) A vision shaped by real human need (12:00) Working with survivors of domestic violence (16:00) Understanding power and control dynamics (20:00) How identity slowly erodes in unsafe relationships (23:00) The cycle of abuse explained (26:00) Why people stay—and why it’s more complex than you think (29:00) What healthy masculinity actually requires (31:00) Why transparency creates safety (36:00) The role of accountability (and what it’s not) (42:00) How shame-dumping damages relationships (45:00) Becoming the man your younger self needed (47:00) Why sacrifice matters more than you think (51:00) Practical examples of showing up in everyday life (56:00) How to support The Refuge Center LINKS & RESOURCES - The Refuge Center: https://refugecenter.org/ [https://refugecenter.org/ ] - Amy Alexander Bio: https://refugecenter.org/staff/amy-alexander/ [https://refugecenter.org/staff/amy-alexander/ ] - Support The Refuge Center (Faith Builders): https://refugecenter.org/ [https://refugecenter.org/ ] - Power and Control Wheel: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/ [https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/] - Join The Basement (private Q&A + community): https://threepercentco.com/membership [https://threepercentco.com/membership] KEYWORDS Amy Alexander, Refuge Center, Three Percent Podcast, healthy masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, trauma and healing, domestic violence, power and control, accountability, vulnerability, men’s mental health, transparency, personal growth