#50 – DARVO Explained: How to Stop Letting People Walk All Over You

#53 - Projection vs. Gaslighting (and why your boss thinks you're LAZY when you're NOT)

This episode is brought to you by the Confident HR Leader Masterclass! It's time to get out of reactive HR for good. Visit corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] or click this link [https://academy.corporatechristie.com/corporatechristiemasterclass] to sign up. (Note: Any mentions of the "Engagement Academy" on this podcast refer to an earlier version of this same masterclass. ❤️✌️) ====== Today we’re talking about projection — gaslighting’s ugly second cousin. You know, when someone accuses you of doing the very thing they’re guilty of. Fun, unhealed stuff, right?  00:42 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=42s] – “How are you, really?” (aka, are you dehydrated?) 02:32 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=152s] – Projection vs. Gaslighting: 03:32 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=212s] – Lazy boss calling you lazy? 04:18 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=258s] – “You’re lying!” …says the liar. 05:05 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=305s] – Why childhood trauma makes projection feel weirdly familiar 06:13 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=373s] – Micromanaging boss 09:07 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=547s] – Gossiping coworker accusing you of gossiping (make it make sense) 10:20 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=620s] – Personal story 11:51 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=711s] – Friend drama 16:40 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1000s] – Signs you’re being projected on 17:10 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1030s] – Grounding yourself 19:06 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1146s] – The #1 rule 20:27 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1227s] – Magic phrase 22:21 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1341s] – Calm comebacks 24:27 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwUT84PRcK0&t=1467s] – Journaling 25:06 – Documenting projection at work  27:06 – Managers cause 70% of turnover — send those surveys! 33:31 – Journaling prompts that helped me stop the victim spiral 34:50 – 48 Laws of Power 36:46 – How I got burned in corporate 🔥 38:52 – Brilliance doesn’t always get promoted 40:14 – The garbage analogy ◽️◽️◽️◽️◽️◽️ ⭐  The 48 Laws of Power - https://amzn.to/3KbuT48 [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa3Noa205eWJ5WUVXcEwtMkx5QUFRUGRWaENUUXxBQ3Jtc0ttQW4tTlBLOUpfQ0hIN2I5VkgzRHVnYlZRbDhBMXV0REpQdjJLRVRSZDlMYjM5clZkTFVYdzVwbjk1Q1NPaFpSTzJrRlNwMFN1OF9MRHliWmxBWnhOSXpfb2R4YkVTV3YwN043TUxNVkh5VzM2NlR1RQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2F3KbuT48&v=mwUT84PRcK0] ⭐  Free Manager Survey Training - https://tinyurl.com/539zwm4c [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbFhoeGN4bUdfdUpITGVxcUlYTUVVSlRIdWR5QXxBQ3Jtc0trOVZGNEhrU2g5UzJMS2hBQ0hLVkNNM3FMbS1jdWNjUzBqR19lZEphUVNYazVTdEhKT3ZVcVZWczBDUm81SDFHdHVnbm8tNTQzVVg5YURxdnRHeTN3MkxhWGt2bS04ejJFRGJ3bGR4ekgzWkwzUHI2OA&q=https%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2F539zwm4c&v=mwUT84PRcK0] ◽️◽️◽️◽️◽️◽️ ⟡ TikTok:  / corporatechristie  ⟡ Linkedin:  / christiehoffman  ⟡ Amazon storefront: https://tinyurl.com/ykbwyyaa [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbk9ReUZqTmVYaTlBMWhEd0tKbFVFbVE2RDF1d3xBQ3Jtc0ttZkRSUUs5UEJWOUJiakNFNnlVcDFQNEFkbWswSWlGazJIRmRrYm9oREduQVZoTmlfZzdpbnFHaXBPX3EtNkgxSTlFTEdqZW1TbjM3cDhOMnJNV1NsZ2hES2xXeDhqTDBpdWt3YWkxZmJRNDY4MldRNA&q=https%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2Fykbwyyaa&v=mwUT84PRcK0] ⟡ Email

#51 - Ian Mai: ADHD, Going off Adderall, and the Messy Middle: Healing from Trauma and Burnout

This episode is brought to you by the Confident HR Leader Masterclass! It's time to get out of reactive HR for good. Visit corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] or click this link [https://academy.corporatechristie.com/corporatechristiemasterclass] to sign up. (Note: Any mentions of the "Engagement Academy" on this podcast refer to an earlier version of this same masterclass. ❤️✌️) ====== I sit down with ADHD & self-mastery coach Ian Mai just days after coming off Adderall for the first time in over 10 years. This episode isn’t about bashing medication (it helped me — until it didn’t). It’s about coming home to yourself. It’s about getting real with the patterns beneath our hyper-productivity. And it’s about the terrifying, necessary, beautiful work of finding yourself again after pushing so hard. We go way beyond dopamine and planners, and dive into: * The deeper reasons we can’t focus or follow through * What impulsivity is trying to protect * Why medication helps — but might be masking deeper wounds * The trauma hiding inside our “high performance” * ADHD, shame, systems, and how we learned to abandon ourselves * Emotional safety, breathwork, and body-based healing * The loneliness (and power) of doing life differently Contact Ian:  * ianmai.co [https://ianmai.co/] * linkedin.com/in/ian-mai-coaching [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-mai-coaching/]  Contact Christie:  * linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman [https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman/] * corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] * @corporatechristie

#50 – DARVO Explained: How to Stop Letting People Walk All Over You

This episode is brought to you by the Confident HR Leader Masterclass! It's time to get out of reactive HR for good. Visit corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] or click this link [https://academy.corporatechristie.com/corporatechristiemasterclass] to sign up. (Note: Any mentions of the "Engagement Academy" on this podcast refer to an earlier version of this same masterclass. ❤️✌️) ====== If you’ve ever tried to tell someone they hurt your feelings, but they made you feel like you were the bad guy—you're not Crazy. You were DARVO'd. This episode is part education, part memoir, and part spiritual boundary bootcamp. I made it because I don’t want you to waste another year trying to get toxic people to understand you. I break down: * What DARVO is (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) * How emotionally immature people use it to flip the script * Why you, the empathetic, conflict-avoidant, peacekeeper, are often the perfect target * What healthy responses to feedback actually sound like * How DARVO showed up in my own life — in work, family, and friendships * Why I chose to go no contact with people who do it * How to recognize this dynamic in friendships and work * Scripts you can use to stay grounded when DARVO starts to unfold * Why “nobody’s allowed to tell you your feelings are wrong or bad” is now my life’s measuring stick * And why this is a non-negotiable skill if you want to live life as the main character, not a background character in someone else’s chaos Connect with me If this episode hit home, I’d love to hear from you! * 📲 TikTok: @CorporateChristie [https://www.tiktok.com/] * 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman/] * 📸 Instagram: @CorporateChristie [https://www.instagram.com/corporatechristie/?hl=en] * 📺 YouTube: Corporate Christie [https://www.youtube.com/@CorporateChristie] * 🌐 Website: www.corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/]

#49 - A Better Way of Doing Employee Benefits (w/ Amy Spurling, CEO of Compt)

This episode is brought to you by the Confident HR Leader Masterclass! It's time to get out of reactive HR for good. Visit corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] or click this link [https://academy.corporatechristie.com/corporatechristiemasterclass] to sign up. (Note: Any mentions of the "Engagement Academy" on this podcast refer to an earlier version of this same masterclass. ❤️✌️) ====== In today's episode, I sit down with Amy Spurling, CEO of Compt, to unpack the gap between the benefits companies think employees want and what they’ll actually use. Amy shares her journey from CFO to CEO and gives practical tips on how to stop wasting your benefits budget.  We dive into supporting hybrid teams, building the business case for better benefits, and why perks alone won’t drive retention. This one’s a must-listen for anyone who's tired of guessing what employees want, and need a benefits program that serves more and sucks less. ' 🎙️ Connect with Amy Spurling: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyspurling/ Learn more about Compt: https://www.compt.io/ 💻 Connect with me: * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman [https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/corporate.christie [https://www.instagram.com/corporate.christie] * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@corporate.christie [https://www.tiktok.com/@corporate.christie]

#48 - All-Hands, All-Wrong: The Company Meeting That’s Costing You

This episode is brought to you by the Confident HR Leader Masterclass! It's time to get out of reactive HR for good. Visit corporatechristie.com [https://www.corporatechristie.com/] or click this link [https://academy.corporatechristie.com/corporatechristiemasterclass] to sign up. (Note: Any mentions of the "Engagement Academy" on this podcast refer to an earlier version of this same masterclass. ❤️✌️) ====== Your all hands meeting might be lighting thousands of dollars on fire. Not on purpose. But if your people are zoning out, shopping Amazon, or silently rage-quitting in their heads…that’s exactly what’s happening.  In this episode: * Why your all hands might be working against you. * What "executive ring around the Rosie" is and why it kills engagement. * How to run an all hands that actually earns trust, engagement, and yep—profit. * The one leadership moment most CEOs fumble. * The storytelling tool to make data interesting * Why skipping Q&A is the fastest way to create backchannel drama. * Real talk about why you probably don’t need a monthly all hands anyway. * Learn how to find out if what you're doing is working If your team dreads these meetings—or worse, feels invisible during them—you’re not just hosting a bad meeting. You’re quietly losing money, trust, and your best people. This episode is your no-BS playbook to fix it before they mentally quit (or actually quit). Stop burning salaries. Start leading meetings that make people lean in—and stay. 📺 Watch on Youtube [https://youtu.be/0PDdBWpumP0]  https://youtu.be/0PDdBWpumP0 📚 Resources Mentioned *   Storyteller Tactics by Pip Decks: https://pipdecks.com/ [https://pipdecks.com/] *  🔎 Gallup’s research: https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx [https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx] 💻 Connect with me * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman [https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiehoffman] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/corporate.christie [https://www.instagram.com/corporate.christie] * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@corporate.christie [https://www.tiktok.com/@corporate.christie]