My Toddler Is Scared of Everything

My Toddler Is Scared of Everything

A two-and-a-half-year-old has become increasingly anxious and fearful. She often becomes overwhelmed but can't explain what's wrong beyond saying she's scared, and she wants to be picked up or removed from the situation. Her mom wonders where comfort ends and reinforcing the fear begins: “How do we give her the comfort and security she clearly needs while helping her learn that she can feel scared and still be safe?” Janet explores what may really be going on and how parents can respond in a way that respects the feelings without exacerbating them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.janetlansbury.com/]. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Your Toddler Isn’t Listening. Here’s Why.

How frustrating is it when our kids won't listen! A parent describes her exhausting visit to a relative's house that wasn't baby-proofed. Her 15-month old son became fixated on climbing stairs. She tried to use what she understands as gentle discipline to keep him safe, but after repeatedly saying, "I won't let you..." and then resorting to removing him from the stairs, she grew frustrated, took him outside for a walk, and then "spent most of it chastising myself for completely failing.” Janet explains that far from failing, this parent is merely missing something, and she offers a simple reframe that will make setting boundaries much simpler, more effective, and less frustrating for all concerned. Sponsor links: click.cash.app/ui6m/0karpg86 [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/0karpg86] littlespoon.com/UNRUFFLED [www.littlespoon.com/UNRUFFLED] Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.janetlansbury.com/]. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

The Scary Things Kids Need to Tell Us

A parent is shaken when her five-year-old begins talking about death and saying she wants to die. Is this a warning sign? Shouldn't she be alarmed? Janet explains why these frightening statements—while they should always be taken seriously—are often very different from what parents fear, and why our instinct to reassure, explain, or shut the conversation down can unintentionally make things worse. She shares a compassionate approach that helps children feel safe enough to work through even their most unsettling thoughts. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.janetlansbury.com/]. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Painfully Shy in Public, Spirited at Home (What's Up with That?)

A parent describes her 3.5-year-old as fun, loud, and opinionated at home, but "painfully shy in every other social setting," even with relatives and peers she knows well. She's greeted with enthusiasm but won't join in. Instead, she asks her parent to play with her. This issue is especially noticeable at gymnastics, where she'll happily do an activity, then suddenly refuse to continue. No amount of encouragement will get her to budge. "It's like once she clams up, she can't get out of it." With preschool just around the corner, this parent wonders how she can help her daughter feel more comfortable around other children. Janet offers an alternative perspective on this child's behavior and explains how it will further this mom's goal to help her daughter "feel confident and happy and proud of who she is."  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.janetlansbury.com/]. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Can We Overcome Our Upbringing?

A mother fears she's repeating the negative patterns that shaped her childhood and wonders if it's already too late to change. She writes that her mother used “guilt trips, the silent treatment, hitting, and what I would deem psychological abuse... She is who I learned to parent from.” While she has tried patience and reasoning with her kids, she still finds herself using harsh tones, lecturing, and yelling. "I don't know how to fix it." Janet explains why breaking these cycles isn't about becoming a perfect parent, but understanding the messages we received as kids and how they may have affected us, so that we can learn to trust ourselves to lead with clarity and confidence. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.janetlansbury.com/]. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]