Gird Your Loins, Anderson Cooper & Suspicious Corn

TikTok Stalkers, Roller Coasters & Airport Groping

This Friday episode starts with post-Scotland jet lag, business catch-up chaos, and the discovery that Jen’s “old lady YouTube” may actually be ahead of TikTok. Then we fall straight into the disturbing rabbit hole of Timber Bowman, delusional stalking, spiritual advisors, baby reindeer vibes, and why technology has made being creepy a full-time job. Somehow, we also cover roller coaster rescues, TSA pat-downs, Newark airport energy, and why saving someone’s life should not come with a complaint form. ✈️📱🎢

Scotland Edition: Castles, Kilts, and Questionable American Behavior

We’re back from Scotland, and apparently all it took was castles, kilts, Outlander locations, confusing accents, and one very honest tour guide to nearly take us out. In this Scotland edition, we recap our senior trip adventure through Edinburgh, Inverness, Glasgow, castles, countryside, the stones that absolutely did not buzz, and the magical people who somehow tolerated us. We discuss our deep love for Paul and Cameron, our confusion over tipping, our emotional support pizza, the “hell no to Glasgow” experience, driving on the wrong side of the road, Emma’s dangerous swing moment, the pineapple house, airplane rage, hostel warnings, and the brutal Scottish ranking system that left Ashten “barely passable.” Basically, we went looking for Outlander magic and found friendship, chaos, flat whites, FIFA confusion, and several reasons why we probably should not be allowed abroad unsupervised!

GRADUATION DAY! The episode where I accidentally used the title last week for the wrong episode....

Welp...this is why.  If you liked the title last week, you'll LOVE this week's episode!  To recap....aliens, weedeaters, cannibalism, Nancy Grace...need we say more? CONGRATULATIONS EMMA AND CLASS OF 2026!!

Grandma Hobbies, Quilt Envy and Grad Prep Anxiety!

This week we start with a hat, somehow detour through quilts, graduation chaos, dirty soda bars, widow guilt, PTSD triggers, and TikTok judgment — then get interrupted by a man attacking the hedges. Honestly, very on brand.

Gird Your Loins, Anderson Cooper & Suspicious Corn

Happy Friday, and welcome back to This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast. This episode starts with an alleged wife-for-boat trade involving frozen catfish and somehow spirals into chef-related crime stories, UFOs, AI interview scams, Great Value corn warnings, Taco Bell chaos, Criminal Minds connections, how to gird your loins, and why Anderson Cooper may or may not be an alien.