This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

Toy Story Tears, Netflix Binges & Unsolved Mysteries Rabbit Holes 🤠🔎📺

Happy Monday after the 4th! We’re still sipping Kiss on the Lips, still recovering from the weekend, and somehow going from patriotic sewing plans to Netflix recommendations, Yellowstone spin-offs, Little House on the Prairie reboot concerns, and the emotional damage of watching Toy Story across three generations. Then things take a darker turn as we fall into true crime and conspiracy rabbit holes, including the Springfield Three, old-school Unsolved Mysteries, Circleville letters, Charles Morgan, and why some cases still haunt us decades later. There are crackers, brain freezes, serial killer statistics, Ohio questions, and one very awkward reminder that we really do say things out loud and then hope nobody hears them.

Kiss on the Lips, Deadly TikTok Trend & Empire State Engagements

We’re back, themed-ish, and kicking off July with a Carnival cruise classic: Kiss on the Lips. This Friday episode goes from social media trends we are officially over, to dangerous TikTok art, OOTD exhaustion, gaming rabbit holes, shallow dating pools, “sup beautiful” trauma, and the couple who decided the Empire State Building needed a little illegal romance. We also talk summer playlists, songs that remind you of your friends, hypothetical questions, possum enemies, Walmart survival plans, and why a mad goose may be the final boss of everyday inconvenience. Basically, we missed y’all… and immediately proved why we can’t have a podcast.

Canoe Trauma, Toddler Blowouts & True Crime TikTok

This week, we start with a very normal podcast warm-up: canoe near-death experiences, projectile vomiting in a kayak, and a toddler poop emergency that deserves its own hazard pay. Then we somehow pivot into Netflix’s Maternal Instinct, fake pregnancies, burner phones, narcissists, and why TikTok investigators may actually be scarier than the FBI. It’s messy, unhinged, mildly educational, and exactly why we can’t have a podcast. 💩🚣‍♀️📱

TikTok Stalkers, Roller Coasters & Airport Groping

This Friday episode starts with post-Scotland jet lag, business catch-up chaos, and the discovery that Jen’s “old lady YouTube” may actually be ahead of TikTok. Then we fall straight into the disturbing rabbit hole of Timber Bowman, delusional stalking, spiritual advisors, baby reindeer vibes, and why technology has made being creepy a full-time job. Somehow, we also cover roller coaster rescues, TSA pat-downs, Newark airport energy, and why saving someone’s life should not come with a complaint form. ✈️📱🎢

Scotland Edition: Castles, Kilts, and Questionable American Behavior

We’re back from Scotland, and apparently all it took was castles, kilts, Outlander locations, confusing accents, and one very honest tour guide to nearly take us out. In this Scotland edition, we recap our senior trip adventure through Edinburgh, Inverness, Glasgow, castles, countryside, the stones that absolutely did not buzz, and the magical people who somehow tolerated us. We discuss our deep love for Paul and Cameron, our confusion over tipping, our emotional support pizza, the “hell no to Glasgow” experience, driving on the wrong side of the road, Emma’s dangerous swing moment, the pineapple house, airplane rage, hostel warnings, and the brutal Scottish ranking system that left Ashten “barely passable.” Basically, we went looking for Outlander magic and found friendship, chaos, flat whites, FIFA confusion, and several reasons why we probably should not be allowed abroad unsupervised!