Chat In The Commons

Out in The Commons: FiLiA 2025 | 16

A chat about our trip to FiLiA, the largest grassroots feminist conference in Europe.  Celebrating their tenth anniversary, FiLiA 2025 was held in Brighton, UK and hosted 300 speakers from 75 countries and nearly 3,000 attendants - and Elle was there to soak it all up.  In this episode Elle shares the inside scoop about what she saw and heard - the good, the bad and the ugly. From the powerful panel discussions (see list below), to women’s newfound global connectivity and solidarity, to frictions between feminists of different cultures, getting a 360º view of women’s oppression, and how we stay ahead of the patriarchal onslaught. WE DISCUSS: (00:00:00) Introduction  (00:01:36) Background on FiLiA Conference (00:04:49) Elle travels to Brighton (00:09:31) TERF Island (00:11:41) Opening Ceremony & Brighton’s Suffragette History (00:19:16) Feminism and Militarism Panel  (00:27:18) Beyond the Misogynist Backlash Panel  (00:33:01) Erasure of Women’s History Panel  (00:35:56) Modern Matriarchy Panel (00:38:12) Women and the State Panel  (00:42:22) Surrogacy Panel  (00:47:19) Femicide Panel  (00:54:42) Drama at the Disco (00:59:39) State Violence & Gender Ideology in Brazil  (01:06:20) Importance of Women’s Gatherings EPISODE LINKS FiLiA [https://www.filia.org.uk/] Mary Clarke Brighton’s Suffragette History [https://sussexbylines.co.uk/politics/democracy/mary-clarke-the-first-suffragette-to-die-for-the-cause/] Esua Goldsmith [https://www.esuantsiwagoldsmith.com/] Max Dashu Interview | Subject to Power [https://www.subjecttopower.com/as-above-so-below-as-below-so-above/] Total Woman Victory [https://www.totalwomanvictory.com/] Minangkabau Matrilineal Community  [https://atmos.earth/political-landscapes/the-matriarchal-society-of-west-sumatra/] Right To Remain [https://righttoremain.org.uk/] Femicide Census [https://www.femicidecensus.org/] Counting Dead Women UK [https://kareningalasmith.com/counting-dead-women/] MATRIA [https://associacaomatria.com/] CONTACT US Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/] Instagram: @chatinthecommons [https://www.instagram.com/chatinthecommons/] X: @ChatInCommons [https://x.com/ChatInCommons] Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact/]

Man-oh-Manosphere | 15

A chat about boys and men. Natalie and Elle explore the current state of masculinity - male attitudes, behaviors and culture. And how do men perceive themselves and the challenges they face? In this episode, we highlight both struggles and positive shifts, digging into men’s economic anxiety, loneliness, violence, and the growing manosphere, but also new models for raising boys and young men, and the work of creating healthier masculine narratives and supportive communities in order to redefine what it means to be a man.  WE DISCUSS: (00:00:00) Episode Overview Introduction to the state of manhood and masculinity norms (00:03:53) Equimundo’s State of American Men Research Report on American men, highlighting men’s own perspectives on masculinity (00:05:02) Key issues overview: economic anxiety, restrictive masculinity, loneliness, and time online (00:07:11) Exploration of men’s shifting provider role, economic pressures, and identity (00:11:28) Masculinity becoming more restrictive  (00:13:38) Male loneliness and emotional accountability discussion  (00:16:15) Male Alexithymia and emotional expression  (00:22:08) Manosphere narratives and online radicalization  (00:24:04) Debunking the “Men Are Losing Out” myth  (00:27:19) Overview of online manosphere groups (00:35:13) Recognition of violence as a key issue for men, including self-directed violence (00:40:32) Discussion of how violence is perpetuated and the importance of community for men (00:52:11) Raising boys and young men Discussion of matriarchal models, mother-son bonds, and raising feminist sons (00:55:13) Early education and gender stereotypes  Highlight of Icelandic preschool program combatting gender stereotypes EPISODE LINKS International Men’s Day [https://internationalmensday.com/]  Dads For Kids [https://dads4kids.org.au/] State of American Men Study 2025 [https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/State-of-American-Men-2025.pdf]  Alexithymia | Katie Hanlon TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thekatiehanlon/video/7538817933540134175] The Other Parent | James Steyer [https://amzn.to/4oTXcn3] Male Fiction Authors | Tracy Sierra TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@tsierraauthor/video/7522918337832127774] Gen Z Men & Women’s Outlook | NBC News [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AVPRocNbTU0] Triad of Men’s Violence [https://www.michaelkaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Kaufman-1987-The-Construction-of-Masculinity-and-the-Triad-of-Mens-Violence-in-Michael-Kaufman-ed.-Beyond-Patriarchy-Essays-by-Men-on-Pleasure-Power-and-%E2%80%A6.pdf]   Jackson Katz | The Spectator [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8cDpNsCKDg]  Belonging vs Fitting In | Brenee Brown [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2ClCPF9w7yc] The Lives of Boys with Michael Conway | Subject to Power [https://www.subjecttopower.com/the-lives-of-boys/] Disappointing Men | Solid 7 TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@solid7living/video/7548577254834539831] Paid Leave For All [https://paidleaveforall.org/] The Men’s Collective [https://www.menscollective.co/] ReMasculine  [https://remasculine.com/] Mankind Project [https://mankindproject.org/] XY Online [https://xyonline.net/] How to Raise a Feminist Son | Sonora Jha [https://amzn.to/4oSDVCs] Why she wrote the book | Sonora Jha Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/reel/CPa4vRpFwnY/] Icelandic Hijalli Model [https://www.hjallimodel.com/] CONTACT  Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/] Instagram: @chatinthecommons [https://www.instagram.com/chatinthecommons/] X: @ChatInCommons [https://x.com/ChatInCommons] Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact/]

Not Your Baby Machine | 14

A chat about babies and birthrates. In our final episode on the 4B movement, Natalie and Elle unpack the many reasons why women across the world are opting out of procreating. It is being proclaimed that the human birthrate is in free fall and that we are in a ‘plummeting population crisis’ - but is the birthrate panic warranted? We look at the environmental, economic, political,  evolutionary and social theories as to why the human boom may be slowing down.  In this jam-packed episode, we also take a critical look at the contradictory messages women receive about our role as creators of new life, and discuss examples of ill-fated government interventions into women’s bodily autonomy - including China, Germany, Romania and the US. We try to wrap our minds around the pronatalism movement and the recent Trump Administration’s incentives for promoting motherhood, and present our own list of incentives that would actually be meaningful to women. We cover the boom-bust theory, evolutionary mate selection theories, DINKS and much more. EPISODE LINKS Martha Ahumuza | X [https://x.com/MarthaAhumuza] Dr. Jennifer Glass | Paula Ferris Show [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/americas-record-low-birth-rates-should-we-care-featuring/id1707980698?i=1000673128789]   DINKS | Nordy on TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6qXQRaM/]  DINKS Social [https://app.dinksocial.com/login] The Elephant In The Womb | Grant Wyeth [https://www.grantwyeth.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-womb] Declining birth rate [https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/vsrr035.pdf] Boom and Bust Cycle [https://thecottonwoodpost.net/2022/12/21/is-homo-sapiens-a-boom-bust-species/]  Climate Apocalypse | Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/climate.apocalypse/] Jen Unhinged Selective Gatekeepers | TikTok  [https://www.tiktok.com/@jenunhinged/video/7525042132793527583] Jen Unhinged 4 Things  | TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@jenunhinged/video/7526207565877759262] The Cost of Sexism by Linda Scott [https://www.amazon.com/The-Cost-of-Sexism/dp/057137459X] Natal Conference [https://www.natalism.org/]   CONTACT US Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/] Instagram: @chatinthecommons [https://www.instagram.com/chatinthecommons/] X: @ChatInCommons [https://x.com/ChatInCommons] Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact/]

Motherhood on Trial | 13

A chat about mothers and family court. After years of researching and documenting women’s experiences in family court, Elle and Natalie share their observations and insights of what happens in this very hidden and secret world.  Through the lens of “what’s old is new,” we discover that while the tools have changed, the aim is the same - to punish women who dare to defy the patriarchal script for marriage and motherhood. What used to be the scold’s bridle, lobotomy, or being thrown in the psych ward - today looks more like gag orders, criminalization of mothers, forced impoverishment through vexatious litigation, and many other legal instruments that sabotage the mother-child relationship. In this episode, we talk about how the system of family court is used by abusers to maintain their power and control, we talk about the misogyny that permeates the institution, and share the shock most women experience upon discovering the realities of these courts.  We highlight how this is not a court of law, but rather a court of discretion which has no oversight, transparency or accountability.  In Motherhood on Trial, we try to understand why this is happening and what we can do to disengage from, and fight, the damage being done to women through this multibillion dollar industry.  EPISODE LINKS Project 2025 - Fatherhood p.481 [https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/24088042-project-2025s-mandate-for-leadership-the-conservative-promise/] Grant Wyeth | Subject to Power [https://www.subjecttopower.com/unnatural-authority/] WeSpoke [https://www.wespoke.org/] Take Care of Maya [https://www.netflix.com/title/81349305] Mothers Lost | WeSpoke [https://www.wespoke.org/motherslost] Three Planets Model - Marianne Hester | What Doesn’t Kill Me [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFCG3mKZkgc] Joan Meier 2020 Study on Child Custody Outcomes [https://xyonline.net/sites/xyonline.net/files/2020-05/Meier%2C%20U.S.%20child%20custody%20outcomes%20in%20cases%20involving%20parental%20alienation%20and%20abuse%20allegations%202020.pdf] UN Special Rapporteur on VAW&G | Reem Alsalem [https://x.com/safe_parents/status/1672612066253832193] UN Report on Parental Alienation [https://docs.un.org/en/A/HRC/53/36]  Family Court Power and Control Wheel [https://pdfhost.io/v/ncJqhuGeau_Family_Court_Power___Control_Wheel] NY Senate Joint Public Hearing on Family Courts 2023 [https://youtu.be/shk3lW15F4Q] Wendy Murphy on the ERA | Phil in the Blanks [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARD3D25_Amc] CONTACT US Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/] Instagram: @chatinthecommons [https://www.instagram.com/chatinthecommons/] X: @ChatInCommons [https://x.com/ChatInCommons] Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact/]

Sexodus | 12 Part 2

A continued chat about sex. In this episode we reveal the remaining results of our sex survey and chat about the risks women take when we have sex with men - from STDs to pregnancy to men’s sexual violence. We also cover contraception, revenge porn, candaulism, sexual coercion, sex strikes, the 4B movement in South Korea, and the shape that this movement is taking in the West.   EPISODE LINKS Male Contraception Pill | Dr. Harini Bhat [https://www.instagram.com/p/DNQl3KjNTt0/] He Chose Porn Over Me | Melinda Tankard Reist [https://amzn.to/41JV5Jq] The Hellscape Files with Melinda Tankard Reist | Subject to Power [https://www.subjecttopower.com/the-hellscape-files/] Practicing Celibacy | Tera Chantelle TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@terachantelle/video/7353755648737266990] Men Sharing Wive’s Naked Pictures | Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/202208/why-some-men-share-naked-pictures-their-wives] Resistance Through No Sex [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCN-dd5J1lE&ab_channel=DWDocumentary] CONTACT US Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/] Instagram: @chatinthecommons [https://www.instagram.com/chatinthecommons/] X: @ChatInCommons [https://x.com/ChatInCommons] Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact [https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact/]