If I Speak

99: How do you know when it’s time to quit?

Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our 100th episode – so ask us anything! Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.

98: Are we obsessed with having our feelings validated?

Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

97: When will I start feeling like a grown-up?

Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

96: Why are women choosing looks instead of books?

Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

95: Does British culture need saving? w/ Lanre Bakare

Culture writer Lanre Bakare joins Ash and Moya in Manchester to talk about the precarious state of arts and nightlife around the UK, Black cultural identity outside of London, and the rise of ‘cultural deserts’ – as well as the unofficial launch of the ‘BAMÉ Army’. Plus: a dilemma about a difficult houseshare. Lanre’s book, We Were There [https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/453942/we-were-there-by-bakare-lanre/9781847927477], is out now. Recorded at Contact Theatre in Manchester on 25 November 2025. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.